Best Tuppence Poems
For Richard Lamoureux's "Any line" contest.
Richard Seale-d Door's line: slammed shut are the doors in "A mind made up".
You told me before
slammed shut are the doors
when my love for you went astray
I got my comeuppance
he's worth not a tuppence
and rumor has it he's gay
Lest I've need of another
visit to me brother
sometime for a quick howdy-do
or longing for discourse
in code as of Morse
on the stealth oiled a hinge, p'haps two
Ah, found me a crack
Leech-a is back
my love for the other's dissipated
you smile goodly, warmly
longingly, lovingly
my return welcome and anticipated
Delysia Hendricks
Categories:
tuppence, romantic,
Form:
Rhyme
Falling in Love with a Writer is a Faulty Design
We see things that other females
don’t pay a tuppence to.
Like a half-burned cigarette tail,
Your osculation of deep, dense rouge—
A secret trusted only by two.
With our own hands, we mimic time
And manipulate the world you once knew.
Falling in love with a writer is a faulty design.
To your heart, we assail
With words plunked to a tune;
In your soul, with great force, we impale.
From a love-front angle of view
You might feel a tad misconstrued,
like a poorly mixed cocktail.
Ricochet from baseline to fault line,
But every time you pull through ‘cause you knew,
That falling in love with a writer is a broken design.
When we close our eyes and slowly inhale;
We hear the laughter of a family in an empty room
And unveil the retold, recycled tales.
Picturing why the dust rests less heavily on one broom,
And can smell the meal Ma cooked when they came home from school.
From the underworld and past the skyline,
We scour everything down to its last detail.
Falling in love with a writer is a grueling design.
To us, your eyes flourish like flowers in June
With lips– silky like cabernet wine.
And although sometimes we forget to say we love you,
Remember that falling in love with a writer can be a beautiful design.
Categories:
tuppence, beautiful, beauty, love, love
Form:
Ballade
(The audience for this is small children who have seen the movie.)
Mary Poppins Makes a Visit
By Elton Camp
When Mary decides she wants a job
Other applicants of a chance will rob
She causes a strong wind to blow
Riding umbrellas, off they do go
When competitors are no longer around
From the sky she comes floating down
In order to make sure that she gets hired
Convinces Banks she is what’s desired
Upstairs to the nursery she does go
Gives the children a magic show
Then of her own self, she does say,
“Practically perfect in every way.”
When she takes them on the street
An old friend, Burt, they do meet
His drawings made of chalk
They admire on the sidewalk
By her power, they pop inside
There they find horses to ride
In the fantasy world can stay no more
Once a heavy rain does start to pour
The two wet children then are told
Take this medicine to avoid a cold
When they began to frown
Found a way to get it down
To swallow it they couldn’t well refuse
Because of the song Mary did choose
Both kids thought it very neat
When the stuff tasted sweet
Mary then had a very strong feeling
They’d like a tea party on the ceiling
When happy, they floated up in the air
Stayed there as long as they had no care.
Of Mary’s antics Mr. Banks got tired
Decided it was time she should be fired
Getting him to take them to work was a trick
With serious consequences that made him sick
Though the tuppence was only a tiny amount
Banker wanted Michael’s money in an account
Of that the boy saw no need
The birds he wanted to feed
When his money he did demand
Other customers didn’t understand
They didn’t think it was in fun
And on the bank began a run
That very night, Mr. Banks was called back
Board of Directors would give him the axe
But into his mind did spring
What was the important thing
Mary had shown him how to enjoy
Spending time with his girl and boy
Mean old banker laughed until he died
But the Directors’ Board took it in stride
“Mr. Banks, we have a fine notion
Take you back with a promotion.”
And Mary, her job all done,
From the house she did run.
Categories:
tuppence, childrenchildren, old, children, money,
Form:
Rhyme
There was a crook named Jum Tuppence
Who stole from people of meager substance.
He tried it on an undercover cop
And was caught right on the spot.
Now Jum is due to get his comeuppance.
Categories:
tuppence, humor,
Form:
Limerick
Picasso painted me ugly.
Two lips slung over a rusted hanger.
One eyebrow burnt for attention's sake.
Let's tell Grandma how much fun we had today.
Picasso is still at work.
Monet swallowed your stupidity.
Five teeth missing and nary a barbed retort to bend.
One un-photographed smile was left behind.
Let's tell Grandpa his prized lilacs are in mourning.
Monet is still at work.
Seurat poked your larynx.
The roses in your hands may be the thorns in your side.
Ivy and Sumac spice the teas I serve the unfortunates.
Let's tell Auntie June her parasol spikes are dull and snapped.
Seurat is still at work.
O'Keefe smears one simply.
Stamens and pistils shoot the misanthropes dead.
A spare will be guarded for the one's I've missed.
Let's tell Uncle Ed the lessons you've learned today.
O'Keefe is still at work.
DaVinci played baccarat with Stalin.
Swelled hands made it difficult to paint distinctly.
Dirty tongues are as useful as frayed dishrags.
Let's tell no one anything.
Let's tell no one nothing.
(naughty, bastard boy -
using double negatives in one sentence).
Pay one tuppence to the tillerman
and remind the collected town criers -
I'm at work.
We're all
at Work.
Categories:
tuppence, introspection
Form:
Free verse
I am the eponymous A. Floating-Voter!
I do know my mind, but I’ll follow the pack …
My vote’s up for sale now, to the highest bidder.
Yes! What was that offer, sir? You at the back?
One fellow offered me ‘less unemployment’;
Another one’s promised a crackdown on Crack.
A third says my kids should get more education!
Now who’s gonna offer me tuppence off tax?
One bloke is standing who’ll never be sitting!
So if he’s elected, he won’t see it through.
He said I could choose ‘Not to be European’.
I thought I did that back in ’72 …
‘A’ says I’ll have more disposable income;
‘B’ says he’ll build us more roads and such-like.
If I vote for ‘B’, I’ll have more roads to drive on;
If I don’t vote for ’A’, then I can’t run a bike!
All of them claim to be fighting corruption;
Opening closets; exposing the sin …
Though naturally, MPs are above suspicion!
Now, what was this ‘Members’ Expenses’ thing?
I’m already beginning to feel some confusion.
Which of the parties is really the best?
They all claim the others are nothing but liars …
But none of them passes the ‘truthfulness’ test …
I really do not have a clue who to vote for!
I’m starting to wonder if I should abstain …
But ‘Say what you want!’ was my Mum’s favourite motto,
‘And if you don’t get it, then you can complain!’
So, come voting day, I’ll be down at that station.
I’m going to vote, and I’m keeping close tabs …
So go for it, candidates! Try to attract me!
‘Cause, ‘tween now and then, chaps,
My vote’s up for grabs!
..........................................................................
This is how we tackle elections in Great Britain - not so slick, but lots of fun!
Entered in Dana'lynn Smith's "Politically Educated" contest by Frances King
Categories:
tuppence, funny, political, satire, me,
Form:
Quatrain
Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder,
But Whiskey makes you frisky.
Clerihews and epigrams are fine but
Do not tell these to one lost in love
Except when you mean to cheer up one
Fevered with temporary amourous setbacks.
Gift them the gift prized by one and all
Humour - evoking laughter or perhaps a smile
Inviting a participation in the balm laced with
Jokes, both ribald and a bit of the plain
Killing the gloom of mindless regret and remorse.
Laughter is the best medicine, they say,
Mightily potent to dissipate every whiff of gloom
Nostrum for broken hearts and the flings and arrows of life.
Ophidian ilk are friends that are wry, shirking a shoulder
Pretending with masks to smile away misfortune yet
Questing to wring out sweet savor from other's calamity.
Roar unto the wind a bit louder than the storm
Spoiling what they seek with your tuppence attitude.
Take what is yours, let no one deny you your share
Under any circumstance do not relent for what is your due.
Verity is a virtue that'll stand in good stead,
Warmth towards your fellows won't ever waste.
X-factor's something natural not something you fake,
Yearning for glory like a harlot who'll sell.
Zing is the thing with this homily, my friend.
~27 May 2016~
Categories:
tuppence, character, friendship, inspiration,
Form:
Abecedarian
Jackie
My father was a farmer’s boy
who loved to work the land,
but many children came to him
and wages weren’t grand.
So he went to be a miner
and toil beneath the ground
to feed and clothe his family,
to keep us safe and sound.
He’d tell us of his younger life
and often he would share
the stories of his farming days
wishing he was there.
Though he couldn’t sing for tuppence
he did so anyhow
the songs he knew were myriad
I still can hear him now.
I’ve missed him since he passed away
but know he’s out of harm
and, if God agreed to his last wish,
he’s somewhere on a farm.
His idea of Heaven was living on a farm.
Categories:
tuppence, father
Form:
Rhyme
Limerick croisés : Once our Senorita from Sevilla – 11
Once our Senorita from Sevilla
Shed tears for Don Carlo in Opera
Touched by Verdi in heart
Present in Phillip’s Court
She could give her life for Isabella !
Oh ! How she cursed the Princess Eboli
Denounced hers-Inquisitor’s treachery
Upped her seat in Act IV
Hung around Exit Door :
Which caused King Phillip’s heirless Court to flee
So there she slept till the next performance
When tocsin rang the King’s comeuppance
Carlos Quinto’s grandson
All spruced-up as Mammon
Wed Senorita richer by tuppence !
© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2013
Categories:
tuppence, humor,
Form:
Limerick
A tuppence, old chap, grant this whiskied SOUL
Whose mind wears weak and heart grows SOUR
Take not from thee for what surely is OURS
To quench a lad's thirst at this haunted HOUR
And drown from our swarthy souls the HURT
Morph verse is utlizing the last word of each line and morphing it.
Removing one letter from the previous last word
and adding an additional letter to complete the subsequent word.
EX: SOUL - remove the L and add an R to create SOUR.
SOUR - Remove The S in SOUR and add it to the end of OUR.
OURS - Remove the S and add and an H to the beginning of OUR.
HOUR - Remove the O and add a T to create the word HURT.
So on and so forth.
Categories:
tuppence, imagination
Form:
Rhyme
Shoeshine Joe.
Thruppence for a shoeshine, that's what Joe will shout.
Tuppence for a bulling up as he smiles and looks about.
Drumming up trade these days is harder than before
his dad was a lad and ran this pad when he was twenty-four.
But jobs they're hard to come by with many on the dole.
I'll give you fourpence one man shouts for tongue, top and sole.
Blimey that's a good one he snaps him up right quick.
Sits him down with a smile and cleans his shoes real slick.
That's grand the man retorts as his shoes reflect his face
He pays Joe with a sixpence and says, don't leave this space.
From that day on shoeshine Joe's business began to grow.
And now he owns a shoeshine shop.
The best shoeshine from Joe.
Categories:
tuppence, children, fun,
Form:
Rhyme
Through the Dark Woods crooked pathways
Out beyond the crooked mile
Lived a Tinker who tended the crooked river dam
And He wore a crooked smile
He tinked til the wee hours of morning
Upon finest jewels of luster sheen
He tinked gold for crowns and bracelets
To be placed upon the Queen
Each day at noon he shut the rivers gates
To protect the palace in the valley low
Though he was a Master Tinker
He also cared for ebb and flow
He was paid a meager tuppence
For the many laborious hours he spent
He kept it in an old biscuit box
And never spent one cent
One day the Queen sent a messenger
A new tinker she had found
His services were hereby cancelled
His severence less than half a pound
A tinker's tear had fallen
From off his crooked brow
Left suddenly with a jobless future
There was only one action left for him now
Noon came upon the mountain
With the dam bursting at the seams
He opened every river gate
Creating raging torrents out of streams
He gazed down upon the valley
Where a Queen's palace once did stand
And thought, You can mess with this crooked tinker
Just don't mess with a tinker's dam
Categories:
tuppence, anger,
Form:
Ballad
a day's work by lunchtime
another one by bed
her thoughts they keep running
around in her head
the world won't address her
or listen at all
to her female opinion
'tain't worth bugger all
if not for her mother
if one she has got
there'd be little comfort
when tied in a knot
by rules and conventions
invented by men
and that's not to mention
a 'good slap' now and then
so silent she wanders
through every day
in search of a foothold
for children at play
and life as an equal
at home and abroad
no wonder she's lonely
frustrated and bored
but men will be menfolk
and boys will be boys
and that's why i wonder
i don't hear a noise
when tuppence talk turns to
a fair go for she
who walks without mention
a slave to the free
for women's day
Categories:
tuppence, for her, women,
Form:
Rhyme
When once upon a time one had to knock at your friends door to see if they were in because your parents had put a cap on the phone bill to stop you ringing ....
When you recycled your bottles of pop for pocket money, a halfpenny for your fruit salad chew and you couldn't resist a black jack that turned your tongue blue ..
When your first job was picking fresh organic field mushrooms for the local grocery , a Tuppence a punet was plenty ....
When you helped the elders of your community across the road because their glasses were stuck together with sticky tape balanced on their nose ......
When your friend called Cyril the dog taught you to swim in the river and the sea and you adventured in the pond on your makeshift barrelled boat , your spirit was free swinging on a rope amongst the river trees ...
When it was safe to walk to the park through your village , your community ,and you know you felt safe because everyone knew , you see ...
When the day finished off with scraps wrapped in The Sun newspaper shared amongst your friends whom you spent climbing trees navigating yourselves scumping apples over the old mans private fence ...
Categories:
tuppence, freedom, growing up, inspiration,
Form:
Free verse
Life's a cruel stage
for the sensitive soul
who must suffer in whole,
the jeers and the babble
of an ignorant rabble
Who, paying their
tuppence for cheap
balcony seats,
spew their bile,
words so vile
as to make
a stone weep
The reviews
of the critics,
far be them from smitten,
are bloodily written,
by these cynics
leaking hate
from their pens
Then the papers are printed
and sold by loud hawkers,
to the gossiping gawkers
for barely a farthing;
a cheap nighttime's reading
of our hero's
disgrace
But the wright of this tragedy,
who's penned the production,
such a clever seduction,
is naught to be found
He's hiding backstage,
never facing the rage
of this mob,
that our poor yob
now faces
But there'll be
no early close
of this terrible flop,
no, the pain will not stop
and the follies will
continue a morrow
The backers will pay
to continue the play
for, as we all know,
the show must go on
So, the actors all heed
this despicable creed
to carry on
the deplorable farce
This drama shall replay
one show, plus matinee
every day
for the rest
of his life
Think on this,
dear patrons,
while you're
hissing
and jeering,
that the actor's
one hope
is that you,
he'll be cheering
Say you now,
has he ever failed
to bring you to tears?
Or, perchance
has his laughter
never lifted
your fears?
Life's a cruel stage
for the sensitive soul,
he's paying the toll
to be playing his role
yes, this is
our protagonist's fate
Categories:
tuppence, angst,
Form:
Rhyme