Best Tuppence Poems

For Richard Lamoureux's "Any line" contest.  


Richard Seale-d Door's line:  slammed shut are the doors in "A mind made up".


You told me before
slammed...

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Falling in Love with a Writer is a Faulty Design
We see things that other females
don’t pay a tuppence to.
Like a half-burned cigarette tail,
Your osculation of...

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(The audience for this is small children who have seen the movie.)

Mary Poppins Makes a Visit

By Elton Camp

When Mary decides she wants a job
Other applicants...

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I’ll tell you all a story, about when I was just a lad,
And me Mum and Dad were battling with the little that we had.
Dad...

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There was a crook named  Jum Tuppence
Who stole from people of meager substance.
He tried it on an undercover cop
And was caught right on the...

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Picasso painted me ugly.
Two lips slung over a rusted hanger.
One eyebrow burnt for attention's sake.
Let's tell Grandma how much fun we had today.
Picasso is still...

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I am the eponymous A. Floating-Voter!
I do know my mind, but I’ll follow the pack … 
My vote’s up for sale now, to the highest...

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Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder,
But Whiskey makes you frisky.
Clerihews and epigrams are fine but
Do not tell these to one lost in love
Except when you...

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Jackie

My father was a farmer’s boy
who loved to work the land,
but many children came to him
and wages weren’t grand.
So he went to be a miner
and...

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Limerick croisés : Once our Senorita from Sevilla – 11

Once our Senorita from Sevilla
Shed tears for Don Carlo in Opera
Touched by Verdi in heart
Present in...

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A tuppence, old chap, grant this whiskied SOUL
Whose mind wears weak and heart grows SOUR
Take not from thee for what surely is OURS
To quench a...

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Through the Dark Woods crooked pathways
Out beyond the crooked mile
Lived a  Tinker who tended the crooked river dam
And He wore a crooked smile

He tinked...

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There was a time throughout this land 
    when all was well and kind.
Where Wood Sprites, Fairies and Pixie dust 
 ...

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Shoeshine Joe.

Thruppence for a shoeshine, that's what Joe will shout.
Tuppence for a bulling up as he smiles and looks about.
Drumming up trade these days is...

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a day's work by lunchtime
another one by bed
her thoughts they keep running
around in her head
the world won't address her
or listen at all
to her female opinion
'tain't...

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