Best Tae Poems

He was in none of my classes
In the 1980's
And I saw him only on test days
Where one had to perform his "kata"
And fight in the...

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Hello yea bonny wee pawky thing,
sittin' there tuggin' at ma hert strings.
Aye yer wee ,an' oan yer oan yer hard tae see,
niver mind wee thing...

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Thar was nae richt ae laddie sair
wha heft a cave 'side Galloway,
wi' nae jaiken he griftit dare
as he was nae tae lippen tae.

Ill-naitur'd  fishwife...

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He had earned a black belt in tae kwon do

   Breaking slabs of concrete with his big toe

     ...

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The August fields all fallow now.
The sweet grasses lay long a bed.
The posies taken the pastours’ bowe.
Brash breezes brush Queen Ann’s fair head.
Black butterflies crest...

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Geordie is ma brother; some say he is a hero!
Me, ah ken better an’ his rating’s close tae zero!
He likes tae hog the flair wi’...

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GTF

Wizened skin like burnished leather
Thin, grey and long, disheveled hair
Clear, sharp blue eyes that seem to stare
Through sun scorched face, alert, aware

A ‘lived-In’ face that’s...

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Yoda clever was right on cue
And Obie did swell tae kwon do
But one day unique
In star wars double speak
Must be "May the 4th" be with...

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Our commander in chief
will soon leave office what a relief
for he has occasion and a reason 
to engulf a gulf into war
from the Persian gulf...

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Written in Scottish dialect.

Jack, Bernard and John, the Bandit Kings,
Hae handicaps wae too high.
Each o’ them score four points a hole,
Ah canna tell ye a...

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Bored at school
I decided to play the fool
By doing a little dancing for my friends.
A mixture of ballet 
taught by my sister Sally
and a little...

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Wur in RE an the nuns are gien                 ...

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War is just a means tae a’ end
Deaythe’s the price o’ life.
Famine comes upon black horse 
fillin the gullet o’ Deaythe’s strife.

War is just a...

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Ode to Rabbie Burns.

. I was up before the dawn, 
still half asleep for sure. 
I struggled into wellies 
and headed for the moor. 

The...

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NOTE-Right now Scotland is suffering it's worsed winter since 1963.The severe 
weather has put the whole country at a stand-still..... 



Polar bears in kilts, it's...

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     SEXY SEXY IS A PLAYFUL FLIRT, 
     HIGH HEEL BOOTS AND LITTLE SKIRT.
   ...

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scotland poem

bonnie scotlands the place to be,
whar awe yae ever may want tae be,
fae glens n lochs and water to
lookin arood scotland whor thars a...

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My Mother
Mary Ann Dow Gardiner

Mary Ann Dow Stuart wis her maiden name,
Noo, she wisnae a Scoatish Lass o' fame.
Born in nineteen hunner an' five on...

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When ah sairly look doon frae up oan high
Frae ma cloud warmed dookit in the azure sky
At aw the drunken bloated bletherums
Wha meet fur ma...

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Hawk-teuchin   -   spitting up phlegm
Nimmer            -   dinner
Gundie-guts ...

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Note-It's Burns Weekend in Scotland and this is my tribute to our great bard.I will 
be reciting this at a Burns Supper tonight.I hope you...

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A luv ma life sae full o' joy,
I keep ma interests at full employ.
Each day fur me is sic' delight,
every day, aw' day an' ivery...

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Devonshire tea with Peter an' Beryl, beware,
it's no the fact that Peter disnae care.
But 88 years doon the track o' life,
an' 84 years fur Beryl,...

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Note

(Try to put your best Scottish accent on when reading this one)



Disguarded fae the workplace, rusted red distorted frame.
Mangled handles reachin' oot like a wee...

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Husband and Wife

Heated
Uncontrollable 
Sensation 
Bursting
Abrupt overly 
Nudity highlighted
Distinctively breasted,

Accented atom's
Nature's beauty
Deliciously delighted In A

Whine  (Dance)
Intensely, seductively to 
For tae it's
Eternal light, of happiness, as...

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