Best Spring Chicken Poems
limerick
There was a spring chicken named Brewster.
He was the school’s number one booster,
but this spring he forward-sprang
from the girls’ room overhang.
Now he’s called - the naughty old rooster.
“You’re not a spring chicken,”
My husband blurts out.
The truth in that statement’s
Beyond any doubt.
My running around’s
Surely taken its toll,
As Nature reminds me
I’m not in control.
For age has its limits
And mine’s reached a peak.
What I do in a day
Should spread over a week.
I try for it all
But my body’s refused.
As I conk on the couch,
There’s my husband – amused!
Whoever invented the Kiss
I'd like to shake their hand
But I won't
Because I'm shortsighted and always miss
It wouldn't be such a problem
If I had Mick Jaggers's lips
But the boss
My Mrs doesn't like it
And slaps me on the wrist
She's packed her bags to leave
But In tried to kiss her goodbye
But again I missed
She gave me a dirty look
Then threw a book
And yet another
Salon the wrist
Years later
I heard she got married
Now calling herself Jagger
Mick could really hit those lips
And give a smacker
But she threw him out
Because his lips were much too big
And she got drenched in slaver
Pretty picky woman
If you ask me
I'm just a man
Who once had a plan
Who couldn't find the X on the map
Although I tried my best I just didn't realise how small she was
No wonder I missed and got a slap on my hand
I joined a college course to learn how to kiss
And it was lots of fun
Until I kissed a woman I'd never met before our lips did fit
I'm not too sure why but her Husband chased me with a gun?
Hunting season came early
And the chase had just begun
Ilm no Valentino
More like Donald Duck
And when it comes to kissing
I sure ain't got the luck
Never practice on a dod
A Camel or a
Hog.o
Welcome Spring with your wind and blinding sand!
You, of course, always have the winning hand
This time, however, you're just out of luck
I''m welcoming you with things that go cluck
When you bend to count your big winner's pile
I'll just watch you with my crafty, sly smile
My little chick liked the rooster on sight
Careful with flowers for his peck's a bite!
Oh those days are gone
no more spring in my footsteps
only snails crawl