Best Spends Poems
Ward drops Beaver at Seven O'clock sharp
Carol tells Beaver to get ready for bed, it's getting late and it's after dark
June calls and tells Beaver to eat everything on his plate
Bobby says you are like me on the phone, you are listless
Beaver tells Bobby she just wanted to give me the business
They all gather at the table for dinner
Beaver tells Alice she is getting thinner
Alice replies flattery will get you everywhere
Cindy belches and the smell of her breath carries through the air
Beaver tells Cindy doing that at the table takes bravery
Marsha comments to Cindy you are not acting like a young lady
Jan is wearing her birth control glasses
Greg sings a song at the table, he is taking singing classes
Peter tells Beaver about their Hawaii and Grand Canyon adventure
Beaver tells Peter that Gus the Fireman wears dentures
The door bell rings, Alice answers it and in steps Barney Fife
He asks Alice to be his wife
The date is set for them to be wed
Barney reserves a room at the Y for their honeymoon, Barney assures Alice that
they will have separate beds
Cindy is asked to be the Maid of Honor and Beaver the best man
Sam the butcher comes in and asks Alice where does our relationship stand
Mike Brady asks Sam to leave
Barney's suit is still the Salt and Pepper Tweed
Barney threatens Sam with his one bullet
This is a night Beaver will never forget
Eddie Haskel stops by with Lumpy and visits Beaver and says they will stay as
long as they can
Eddie and Lumpy have a thing for Jan
Greg and Marsha are falling for one another
But later on Greg dumps Marsha for her Mother
So now it must end as a great experience for all those who were there
Nine people with one bathroom to share
Beaver leaves the next morning in a good mood and feeling very jolly
He says boy, I can't wait to get home and tell Wally
Jesus Spends the Day Slitting Gizzards
By Elton Camp
Jesus came to this town one month ago.
At first he found the going rather slow.
What he said made no sense to most.
Little accomplishment could he boast.
Were it not for a flophouse bed,
He’d have no place to lay his head.
If the authorities knew he was around,
They would have run him out of town.
Places where Jesus offered his help
Said, “Away from here please step.
We aren’t interested in the likes of you.
To be seen in your company won’t do.”
His clothes came from the thrift store
Cast-off things others came to abhor.
And when Jesus needed to eat,
Soup kitchen couldn’t be beat.
A downtown church he tried to attend,
But found he wasn’t wanted as friend.
“You must please go to some other place.
Your presence here would be a disgrace.”
The pastor looked at him with all scorn.
“It’d be better if you’d never been born.
You’ll never be welcome in this town,
To our church no more come around.”
Jesus sadly shook his head.
“The gospel you’ll not spread?”
Preacher said, “It may be a little rude,”
For our church you are far too crude.”
“But I think that it could be fine
In chicken plant to work the line.
They take folks of your type
If about pay you don’t gripe.”
Jesus found it not so very hard
To get a job without a green card
“Okay, Hey-Soos, start to work today
And in two weeks you draw your pay,
But if the INS comes around
To Mexico you will be bound
For you must not to them deny:
About citizenship you told a lie.”
So that is how it came to be.
Jesus working seven to three.
A place where he couldn’t be seen.
Using the gizzard slitting machine.
AT THE EDGE OF LIFE
When you're near the edge of life
Much closer to its end
You realize there's not much left
And death is not a friend
When you look back on it all
And see the deeds undone
You know you weren't always wise
When spending time for fun
You see what the young don't know
That time can slip away
And no one ever spends it well
They find too late in day
So if you're young, take my advice
Please value time each day
For you won't know when time is up
Or where your future lay
The safest route is to find your Maker
And in His hands to stay
For He will lead you to the end
Which begins in a brand new day
Copyright, Kathryn Search
While Trump Spends and Will Squander
While Trump did spend and also will squander;
Excessive expenditures have been big blunder;
He did shatter,
Laughing matter;
Mis-spelled words do exist in spell he is under.
Jim Horn
A Day after day,
Every minute and a second,
A person is getting old.
A month after month,
A year after year,
Everything is getting old.
Not only human or animal,
Trees, birds, planets and nature,
Everyone is dying a moment.
Energy and time,
Also system generator power,
Loosing it's grip.
Human progress is on natural resources,
A man has a fight for them,
Everyone wants to spend,
A luxury life without efforts,
But enjoyment is n’t free as he thinks.
A man needs to think about over spends,
About his needs before to supply them,
Is he using for a necessary purpose?
For a good cause,
He needs to stop wasting,
If he is wandering to waste fuel.
A user’s control can control prices.
Bear always went overboard, spending money
It made his wife crazy, his girl, his honey
He has bought food supplies for winter she said
We hibernate! He does not need to be fed!
He bought a scarf, boots, striped mittens and a comforter too.
He bought a snazzy down-lined coat in azure blue.
Bears do not need these things, but he will not listen.
He even bought a snow angel with hair that glistens!