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Escapism

Taste remorse bleeding from my lips,
Feel the pain of my dreams unleashed.
Shooting stars struggle to eclipse
One last flash of a perfect wish.

Make the way with me,
Help my spirit flee,
Set my soul free,
It is smothered.
Let me find my place
In this tempting haze,
In the night's embrace,
I am bothered.

Hear the sounds, deafened sounds
Of reveries' lullabies,
As I reach spaceless bounds
Of welcoming purple skies.
Yes, I live just this way,
But it's an illusion, fake,
And I curse the damned day
That finds me to wake me.

Trapped by the truth,
I curse its majesty,
Dreams of my youth
Lose sense of gravity.

I'm not sane, not mad,
Not alive, not dead,
Shades of past regret
Haunt me farther.
I am straying blind
With my truth denied
On the other side
From the others.

Hear muffled sounds, deafened sounds
Of reveries' lullabies,
As I reach spaceless bounds
Of welcoming purple skies.
Yes, I live just this way,
But it's an illusion, fake,
And I curse the damned day
That finds me to wake me.

Quelling silent screams,
All alone,
Listing paper dreams
On my own,
I am sick of this
Absurdism,
what's the way it is?
Escapism!

Dreams are all shattered,
What could be worse?
Doom of the life in fetter,
Filled with the same remorse.

Fight or surrender?
Shield or defender?
I'm helpless at anything.
Thoughts of despair
Twirl in the air.
I'm losing my everything.

Hear muffled sounds, deafened sounds
Of reveries' lullabies,
As I reach spaceless bounds
Of welcoming purple skies.
Yes, I live just this way,
But it's an illusion, fake,
And I curse the damned day
That finds me to wake me.

My Black Armband

If I could kill myself and do it over again
I waited until the end of the world to open your gift
Thanks for handing me hell
I’ll do what I can

As my songs begin to fade 
I wonder what could have been
As I lie within an eastern wind
I wonder if I’ll ever see peace again

Plantations were once gardens
Speeches were the premonitions of decaying martyr s
I miss peace and I’ve never rested eyes on her
So thanks for handing me hell

I love her because she’s untouched and pure
Poetry equals the souls of men spoken
Hell raised me so I’m a product broken
Abide by my emergence
This is the last breath of a merchant 

When sadness finds others 
You’re reminded of the virtues in what you have left
I went numb when I learned to pray
Don’t you miss what could have been

I saw angels falling from the sun
Knowing is everything but I don’t want to know
Try not to take things too far
They’ll never let you go 

I waited until the end of the world to open your gift
Don’t you miss what could’ve been
Thanks for handing me hell 
If I could kill myself and do it over again

Too Far Near For Change

Don’t you see where you are 
There was a time you wouldn’t tolerate
People thinking for themselves
You pass your judgments
And you made decisions to never last 

You were the dominant voice
The ideology behind every mans choice  
You believed in what you knew 
And you knew no more than what you were told

We’ve come too far near for change

You were the leader
You were a generation of unopposed cheaters
You assassinated 
You told stories of finer fabrication

You fought for patriotism, you fought for pride
Seldom did you put your integrity aside
You made no rights to be considered civil
You preyed on anyone who was thought to be liberal

You expressed your Marxist theories
You denied the working class it’s values
You sat me on the back of the bus
You told your children to fear me

We’ve come too far near for change

You formed conglomerates
And biased political party’s 
In 63 you showed very little sympathy
Oh how you shook the wind from me 

You told me I was only a third of a person
You scolded that my days  would worsen
You defined anti-Semitism in less than four years
And before this, you path a trail of tears

Walk with me this way
You know things will not be okay
God bless a cease fire
For a present day Vietnam provokes war this day

We’ve come too far near for change

So mothers and children
Fathers and  pilgrims
Settle the sky’s 
For there are no frontiers left to pry 

The rivers in which you wade 
Have been drained too tire
From a followers coming of age 
Script your life, live your days 
Press your quill to this page

Is this what you ask for
A patent at your door
No more Marconi’s 
No more hero’s or displeasures
Only a world lost and lonely 

Are we too far near for change


To the Goddess of Royal Ruins

Acorns are falling 
And autumns beginning to fade
Been lonely for sometime
Now I can’t find a smile

My shadow walks
But I can’t find my knees
A disarray of fallen leaves
Brushing away my ease

Carel is home
Caroling with the wind
December sings her song
Do you even notice I’m gone

Note to myself 
The clouds are dipping low
I have to become something more
Before time lets me go

When everyone’s preaching the same tune
And only new founders loom
With decimated friends I fail to comply
Taking inventory among a pharaohs tomb

If you can’t appreciate me at my worst
How are you to recognize me at my best
He would sing a lot
From a voice that was dull

Walking on broken skeletons
This great wall of china moans
Shadows dance dimly toward your hand
as the sun brushes against the sand

Now that time won’t allow my stay
On this day that lives with us
My comfort seems to push you away
Now I can’t feel you there

Short Stories She Would Sing

if February don't end soon
heart shaped people make me sick
if February doesn't end soon
i've got nothing your smile can fix

twenty eight days
twenty eight days without your son
and i would've cursed you once more
i would've left you for more
you never forced me through your door
but i would've left for more

from you to me
this was my gift to you 
tell me nice things
yes i want to hear you sing
if you're at all here for me
tell me what i say just isn't true

tell February goodbye
heart shaped people leave me ill
tell February goodbye
don't forget the love you kill

fourteen nights into this day
fourteen days without you at night
i don't want to see twenty eight 
without you by my side
i couldn't leave you for more 
outside your door
i couldn't leave you for more

have u ever really been loved before
have you ever admired the life you lose 
what time will you be in tonight
i won't wait up for you 
things just may change

"short storys she would sing"

Endless

I often try to analyze the times
Trials and tribulations got me pacin',
trying to figure out my destination.
Can i raise the monument before i face decimation?
 
I'm sweatin', waitin', can't figure out what I'm doin'
Pursuin' an education, won't let this vessel be ruined
Kind of funny how i pay to play a game called success
and in the process hope that i will rise above the rest
Like i gotta win, but man, it feels like a sin
Everything i was given diggin' deep beneath the skin and
I wonder what it all felt like in the beginning
Supression; mind state and i'm descendin'
 
I often try to analyze the times
Trials and trubulations, look at what i'm facin'
Keep moving; i'm scared to pause, behind me is Satan
Dreams move quickly, that's why i'm racing
Running so hard that Reality is chasing
Behind me; there is no fate ahead of me, there is no enemy
There is no anything endlessly,
There is only me, my pen, my world, my girl and a melody
There are no hands on my clock to strangle freedom
There is no caged bird in this mind because i freed him
So when i rhyme, penstrokes paint Eden
Invoke a spirit and beam the suns rays of healin'
 
But the cruelty of scrutiny drives me to lunacy
Can't find a strategy
Gripping and clawing, trying to maintain sanity
A thousand arms in every direction grabbin' me
If I define my own lines, everyone's suddenly mad at me
This is not creativity, they call it heresy
Dang, I guess i need more clarity
I could give you this, I could give you that
I give my soul expressed through wisdom in the form of rap
  
Dreams move quickly, that's why I'm racin'
Running so hard that Reality is chasin'
There is no fate ahead of me, there is no enemy
The future is so heavenly, I've found my destiny,
Flow against the river of time; give me life
I give you a sliver of mine every time i write
Cradle the crescent, conceive the adolescent
Past and future coalesce, and I form the present
© Ryan Nash  Create an image from this poem.


Prayers On Mute

Some of us are built 
For harsh conditions
Suffrage held
Within a wicked vision
Reprimanded as a man
How can your father reprimand this hand
Discipline disciples 
in a cycle that would not turn in sand
Held in Carthage 
A piece of a Martian
Some say I’m soon to be departing
Pieces of gold in a bronze room
Shining through chivalry and doom
Sterile silvery praising a ring for the groom
All prized possessions of doubt now loom
Pushing the broom
On a straw bed 
Don’t u love this coon
You can be kind to the cruelest person
And at the end of the day 
They’re still cruel and worsened 
This worlds got to end
No sanctuary circles my morbid realms
I’m away from peace
And aware that it will never cease

Only time can stop me now 
Wishes sealed over a candle in a darkened hall
Head down I just might die on this wall
In this race I’ll survive somehow
Only time can stop me now 

I’m so scared 
Where are your prayers
I was so scared 
Why weren’t you there
I’m so scared 
should I have been spared

Over a Coarse of Time

Seems I’ve reminisced 
The feel
Of a home cooked meal
Ducking the pleasures 
Of a sainted veil 
A clause in the end
From which finer things appeal
Black jack matches not
To a fisher mans luck
On an antique reel
But on the real
The expectations in this life
Remain a comfort 
That refuses to chill
Let your thoughts rest 
On an old lads chest 
Considering the circumstances
If we make it 
We can all attest 
And adore this political mess 
If not then as victims of stress 
Unblessed in this planet 
Of slanted chess
We’ll confess

Another night
Another days passes 
Do you find it lovely 
How nothing ever last
But many men have cured
Their fascination 
Of becoming non minute men
Flawed by incarceration
Deep within the dungeons 
Of a  softer conscience
In irregular form
A veteran lies victim
Of defeated white blood cells
Unresponsive 
A child with no home 
And swollen tonsils 
The dark settles 
Flashbacks meddle 
Trouble around the corner 
As a lunch line unveils 
Never was a fighter 
Just a swinger 
As I found myself catapulted against 
The cafeteria wall
The integrity 
My sucker punch instilled 
Broken glass jaws 
Over a 4th grade meal
Or mainly just an individual 
Twice the size of me 
With an inability to feel
I sat still 
As the principal sought 
A stern punishment
Not as astonished with 
The other kids compliments
For my stomach ache
From a lack of warm condiments 

Moral of the story  is 
I was fighting then
I’m still fighting now
Obstacles tend to ware me down
The inexperience of my peers 
Seem to no longer enlighten me now
Have to find new ways to learn
Or disappear into the unclear
Fatigued as a writer
Tend to want to touch on subjects 
Closer to lighter
Symptoms of a September baby
A Virgo born of a harlot 
With nine children unknown 
A none buffalo soldier
A phantom on a Harley
The ghost of Robert Marley
An astronaut in my younger years
Screaming for Apollo thirteen
As the thunder neared 
Off my coarse of inspiration 
I veered

Bourbon Hours

I’m looking forward to more than winter seas
Young and warm we sat across the barn
Bristled against the ground, crushing misted leaves 

Yesterday I slept cold and worn
If I leave you now, we may never be
I’m growing fragile as my nights are torn

She says she’s coming home tonight
I guess she’s got no better place 
To roam tonight

I often wonder why you stop and go 
Relaxed against the soil, never mind the snow
My eyes may close, awaken, surely your to go 

Within the wind, we live, we mend
As the night begins, we start to end
You rub my chest, you tell me morning comes

She says she’s coming home tonight
I guess she’s got no better place 
To roam tonight

I think she sees me write 
Empty songs 
For lively nights 

I hear them speak, they say we could never be
But here against the wind
There’s only you and me 

She says she’s coming home tonight
I guess she’s got no better place 
To roam tonight

Smiles, Fractures and New Beginnings

I’ve been trying not to think about a lot of the things that come my way
A cool summer breeze has taken my doubts for all that I can believe

Dwelling on times too cautiously has left me walking in a wanderlust
When the day begins it ends and I have no one to trust 

I’ve been traveling and I’ve come so far
When all I needed was a friend you left me standing there

I’ve seen smiles and I’ve held some frowns
Seen an old man walking out on town
I’ve seen a harlot chasing the sound of love
Seen a man too tired to place himself found

In my mind I’ve been walking my worries toward a reluctant time
In my cloudy days I needed you there, all those lonely hours afterwards 

Today I was out running and I saw you alone
Suddenly you disappeared when I went to ask you what was wrong

Am I losing my mind, an illusionist in a broken time
Against the shoreline chasing everything that wasn’t mine

Seen coffee spilled when no one was around
I’ve seen a good man yield his days
I seen a champion walk away from a fight 
Seen a mother lost too weary to pray

"a potion for nights that outlast my days"

Secrets

And I wonder how your day’s been
And if you miss me anymore
It’s too late to cease your crying
No more wonders in this world 

And there are times I’d rather hold you
But you’re wishing me away
And who’s to say I’d never scold you
But you’re loving me anyway

And we only look to see you smiling
So stranded from our distance
And you shrug them from your vision
Seems no one knows that you are missing

And we wrap our arms around you
But you’re hidden anyways
They hold your cries in whispers
No one knows what lies they say

they tear you down so kindly
the world wouldn't wait on them
do you miss your tears to often
there's nothing more that i can say

your father loves you dearly
your mother says so clearly
i did all i could to sooth you
no one dares to take your hand

In This Lifetime

I need you in my arms
I need you by my side
I will cause you no harm
Understand my pain
"Only in this lifetime"

Along this path 
I was absorbed through misery
I became known as 
What you all call today 
An outcast
In all my words 
What would make you think
You couldn’t come to me 
I’ll do all I can for you
I have fallen from grace
So I can no longer adore truth
Right or wrong, for better or worse
I could never leave you without a home
I try to do more good than terrible 
But these are times of Paine
And they make life unbearable
All kinds of suffrage in this living
Find someone to be there
Better times to envision

These overshadowing events 
and circumstances 
Shape us into the individuals 
We might one day grow to be 
You say you’re making it
I’ve grown to become a college brat
I too am surviving
Maybe one of us 
Will one day relax upon a better day
Other than that
There’s no wishing this weather away
How can I be what was never taught
The personality I sold 
Was the image you all bought
And if I don’t fare through the night
It doesn’t mean it wasn’t a fair fight
Days I could see myself 
Through your eyes
As a child flying a kite
So smile things will be alright

In a stand still moment
You ran away from home
Ambitious and following 
The wrong scent
In depth I think
So my thoughts 
Seem to rush the children away
It’s not that I preach
But I can’t afford to lose 
So I push the obvious Pilgrim away
Gone silent, visually awry
Awaiting an angel to call me
Witnessed my shadow
Fall not far from me 
Sympathetic exposure 
Amidst the thunder and clouds
Is it okay to wonder aloud 
Did I bring us 
The worst of you and me
On my knees 
I need your arms around me once more
A pint of Evan Williams by my side 
Did I become vulnerable
Me or you whom shall we grieve
Don’t you wish things were wonderful
On my last stance 
Until then and perhaps
This old man’s back may collapse
Takes a breath, for he’s not leaving
He relapses and keeps breathing

Flowers of Man

In a world
That promises
To take me alive
For years we lost tears
Sing a soft hymn for me 
I’m the last one to die 
 
So vital are these hours 
There was a time I blossomed 
Amongst flowers colorless
Enduring this mishandling
This absence of life 
Has brought about 
A crucial understanding 
My most precious yet precise nights 
Moments a strife 
The timeliness of our departure
Has bound us a task due incomplete
The misfortune 
That settles before my feet
The dust seemingly bothers me not
Memories equal days
I may or may not have forgot
From villages to standard living
We feel age
Then elder we become
A privilege
Decent to In
Comfort 
Has brought about a day’s end
 
“Because we are flowers
We are promised expiration
But we live again”

Oh Lord Have Mercy

Oh Lord, have mercy on this poor lost soul,
my life is a story, that needs to be told...

Lost, and forgotten, in a cell so dark,
nothing was worth telling, I had such a hardened heart...

Loved ones have passed, from this old place,
leaving me to ask why, and hate...

You gave me comfort, as you restored my Faith,
showing me real love, and it's never to late...

A field so barren, no crops did I sow,
but that was yesterday, seems so long ago....

Tears of regret, no longer do I cry,
Heaven is waiting for me, when I die...

Oh Lord have mercy on this old soul,
your life is a story, that needs to be told...


  (A song in progress)

My Surrender

Make me go to sleep 
Make me close my eyes 

As I take some time 
I surrender my habits 
Bless the lender 
of my worn fabrics 
Just once more 
a peaceful day, what a delight 
A soothing melody 
buries the night 

Make me go to sleep 
Make me close my eyes 

Does it feel like prison? 
For I cannot remove you from my thoughts 
If you will listen 
Your kindness burns my scars 
Like crystals of salt 
As I lay ill sipping this pure life 
I only ask 
How much more can you endure my wife? 

Make me go to sleep 
Make me close my eyes 

If you can bring me to my knees 
I am yours 
If not 
I remain a lost soul at another door 
I live life ugly, give me death 
I laugh at strangers 
In one final gasp
I am Your Saddened Angel 

Make me go to sleep 
Make me close my eyes

"Sunday wine & rewrites"

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