Best Shoddy Poems


Shoddy Bandaids and Complex Metaphors

Hey kids I'm going to make a quick trip to the store,
We're all out of bandaids again and we desperately need more,
For my wounds are bleeding profusely after the last set tore,
All have been exposed from my orphaned childhood to after the second war,
Is this death by a thousand cuts I'm not keeping score,
I could've sworn I saw our neighbor Eustice Nuoin wearing one so therefore,
He must have some to lend to his old friend Sam Bailor,
I'll just go across the pond and knock on his door,
This will surely save some time on an honest trip to the store,
Unless he has already exhausted his reservoir,
Of bandaids and metaphors.
Form: Rhyme

Shoddy and Ungodly

Shoddy and Ungodly

He seemed so shoddy
What he did was ungodly
Damaged bodily. 
(And mentally as well.)

Was an involver;
For a sure problem solver,
Needs a revolver.

Commit suicide 
For many times he has lied
And instantly died.

Jim Horn
© James Horn  Create an image from this poem.
Form: Haiku

Trump Shoddy and Ungodly

Shoddy and Ungodly

He seemed so shoddy
What he did was ungodly
Damaged bodily. 
(And mentally as well.)

Was an involver;
For a sure problem solver,
Needs a revolver.

Commit suicide 
For many times he has lied
And instantly died.

Jim Horn
© James Horn  Create an image from this poem.
Form: Haiku


Premium Member Ignorance, Shoddy Goods and Poor Service

Never accept shoddy goods or poor service, you have consumer rights, if they don't address your concerns, contact their chairman. 
Quote by poet



When I was growing up my dear mother often said to me
Always speak when spoken to and be courteous as can be
So, it riles me when folks are ignorant and couldn't give a dime
But I give them benefit of the doubt and say it a second time.

Faulty goods suck too when you take them back to the store
They make out that it's been misused and show you the door
But you have consumer rights and are entitled to your money back
Make sure you're assertive and calm but never go on the attack. 

There's no excuse for poor service either or they choose to ignore you
But their attitude changes completely when you threaten to sue
First, they'll fob you off and try to provide an excuse that is lame 
But stand your ground firmly and play them at their own game. 

I once heard a quote 'there's no friendship in business' ; that is so true
Companies often forget it's you paying them, it's not them paying you 
Loyal customers should be rewarded and treated with respect 
So, look around and go elsewhere if they show you any disrespect. 

Thankfully, those kinds of sad ignorant people are in a minority
And most people will go the extra mile, so you're left feeling happy
So, If you've been fobbed off with poor service or dealt a poor hand
Use X, Facebook or TikTok to warn others and make a firm stand.


Written on the 3rd may 2025.
Form: Rhyme

The Shoddy Yellow Ribbon

The Shoddy Yellow Ribbon

A little yellow ribbon
Tied by a little girl
She thought about every movement
Everything had to be perfect
How many times did she start?
Did she cry when she made a mistake?
It doesn’t matter what that 5 year old girl gave me
It could be a Rolex or a clay statue
It doesn’t matter
That shoddy yellow ribbon
The one with the loosely tied knot
That is the only present I value
The one she wrapped for me
The one she gave me on Father’s Day

Seaside Slit- But a Bit Shoddy

"Seaside S*ut- But A Bit Shoddy"


There once was a woman named Dottie,
Who's X rated body was so bawdy.
She was so f***ing grand,
Butt from PoetrySoup she was banned;
Even though every woman and man drooled, 
"Lawdy! Lawdy!!!
Form: Limerick


Premium Member shoddy slipshod shabby sloppy sleazy words

the writer’s words were shoddy
slipshod, shabby, sloppy, sleazy
but many readers liked his style
his work was elevated by his followers
who bought everything that he wrote
enjoying it, because they understood it
not connoisseurs of literature,
but appreciators of familiar, ordinary, common text
with uncomplicated characters and familiar plots

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