Best Shirty Poems

Molly had a chat with Bert,
Stating that she had an aversion to bottles that squirt,
She preferred her sauces in glass bottles,
The plastic monstrosities she'd like...

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Giggling Girty became quite shirty
When her boyfriend was acting flirty,
With a handful of mud 
Delivered with an awful thud
Her boyfriend is now dizzy and dirty....

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Leany Reany was so cleany,
She bathed five times a day,
She washed herself with ropey soapy
After every little play.
Dirty Burty was so shirty
When he had to...

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A dental assistant named Bertie 
Found patients could sometimes get shirty 
One annoying old bloke
Would repeat the same joke
His appointment time was 'tooth hurty'

This old...

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"Darling, where have you been, Iv'e missed you so!"
"Oh darling, I'm tewibbly sowwy, I forgot to tell you
Where I went! I hijacked a lowwy; just...

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IV Foreign affairs

« Putin, I’m rootin to stop the shootin. »
« So am I ; about time you started too. »
« Started too! Me, I’m faster than you. »
« Not start too, you...

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Short, sharp and shirty 

                    ...

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All men have born desires 
    garland of the prettiest arm. 
    Want to meet in the loveliest Place...

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Dirtybird McCurdy…

Driven not deterredy
Young though quite maturedy

Vision crisp not blurredy
Speech smooth not slurredy

On like the horse he’s spurredy
And in like the fish he’s luredy

King of...

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I
The beggar outside the supermarket
You swore was picked up later
In a flashy car
Sat there in the sun for 8 hours
While you pissed & moaned
All the...

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7/29/21
"30"

While seeing lifeforms scurry
Heard it all from a little birdie
This morning the birds extra chirpy
Can't take too long, got to hurry
In order to make the...

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