Best Shills Poems
John Wulf, with his funny Limerick antics telling funny hilarious stories,
“viagraology
There once was a medical study
of things flapping flaccid like putty
those men given placebo
couldn’t enter gazebo
it drove the poor fellas plumb nutty
Copyright © 2015John Wulf”
but also has his very soft spot for all of us
Then there is my very favorite lady, Jan Allison, with all her humorous poems,
ANOTHER VIAGRA POEM HAS JUST POPPED UP - INSPIRED BY EVE ROPER AND JACK ELLISON
It hung so limply like Niagara
Doc told him to take some Viagra
Just one little blue pill
Gave his wife such a thrill
It sticks up so high it could stab ya
Copyright © 2015JAN ALLISON 18th July 2015
but lover her with all our hearts she is the sweeties of them all
Jack Ellison, teasing back and forth with his witty poems,
so who’s the greatest of them all,
OD'd On Viagra
Hickory, Dickory, Dock
Overdosed on Viagra, whatta shock
My wee fellow looked up
Said, “You ain't no pup!”
I cried, “This guy don't go by no clock”
Copyright © Jack Ellison 2015
But a jolly soul because his Santa Jack this year.
Then there’s our Mystic Rose that joins the group with her sense of humor;
A Little Viagra Goes A Long Way
Incline thy ear o-friend of mine
Me poor husband got it bad
He got a dicky that won't pine
Tis sad Tis sad Tis really sad
I heard yours takes Viagra pills
Malone's will not erect nor stay
and yesterday he got the shills
Just letting dicky out to play!
Would you be so kind to send
The medicine that made him sleep
I'll give my hon a pop to rend
His dicky joy, so he can weep
Few tears of joy alongside mine
Oh how my smile would shine
He got a dicky that won't pine
And that's a real bad sign...
Copyright ©Mystic Rose 7/19/2015
so much fun we have here on Poetry Soup
11/13/2015
Poetry Contest : Who Are those funny Poets
Sponsored by: Judy Konos
Categories:
shills, funny, people,
Form:
Free verse
Among the dead contest
Joe Incatasciato
Her Heart is black with malice.
Her beauty cloaks her greed
With their blood she fills her chalice
and consumes them while they bleed
To love she is a stranger
Her motive's building wealth
The naive can't sense the danger
and are soon in declining health
She has been adored by many
and each one she's left to rot
For remorse, she hasn't any
As she gazes on their plots
It's said she's followed by a flock
Of all her murdered shills
They follow not to end her stalk
but because they love her still
Use caution. when in love you fall
Take care, or become her prey
For she cannot feel love at all
Beware, The Raven's way
Categories:
shills,
Form:
Rhyme
Poor Jimi's dead and his music used
to turn baby boomers heads.
A musical icon shills a new car.
Let me stand next to your fire.
Nothing sacred in the consumer world.
Those who once thought you a joke
use your songs to invoke what is left
of a generations youthful fire.
I can see the Mother Teresa
Depends commercial on the horizon,
and the Princess Diana, brakes.
Jimi, you're lucky it wasn't charcoal.
Let me stand next to your fire.
Categories:
shills, funny, me,
Form:
Free verse
The leaves are dead
The birds are dying
Fish are lying
Trying to catch their breaths
On the shores of the world
On unknown beaches
Deaf dolphins and whales
Gasp in polluted waters
Beaching themselves trying to live
Land creatures are having their problems too
People and animals are dying every day
Thank you fake progress
Polluting corporations deny climate change
though they continue to pollute the air and water
Impervious to peoples health
Can you hear life on this planet screaming in despair?
Big business and their shills repudiate apocalyptic signs
Killing all hope that living things in the future will survive
They hoard their ill gotten gains in secret accounts
Hoping to outlive the catastrophe and chaos they have wrought.
Do you hear the silence of the dead?
Categories:
shills, anger, angst, dark, death,
Form:
Free verse
In our lives filled with lofty goals,
We may reach for much beyond our means,
And as interest is piqued and grows,
We sell wisps of notions as our pipe dreams,
Yet while news breaches concerned factions,
Of those who would off-hand discount our plan,
You may well consider these actions,
To be the final throes of a desperate man,
Watch me rush headlong at windmills,
Listen to my brave and salient battle cries,
For with nothing I easily afford the shills,
This puffery of pipe dreams which may sink or rise,
Take account of what may be lost,
Incredible credible reputations,
So to me the onus is tossed,
And I afford pipe dream facilitations,
But as prospect becomes tangible,
And peppered pipe dreams begin to spin,
Overt liability then manageable,
The need for my Quixotic services thin,
The writing’s on the wall distinct and clear,
Yet I long for the impossible it seems,
Where I keep the company of the grand seer,
And remain the nexus of fantastic pipe dreams.
- Before I get too much bad press here I want you to know
the term ‘Puffery’ means to build something up with flowery language.
Categories:
shills, business, dedication, hope, imagination,
Form:
Ballad
I DON’T WANT HIM
by
JOHN M. ARRIBAS
I’m Pontius Pilate and here’s something I need to share
As of this moment I wash my hands of the entire affair
You’re saying this guy’s a heretic meddling in all we know
Heard he’s asking questions threatening the status quo
Started a riot at the temple all the money lenders felt
Holding up the faithful and relieving them of their gelt
And what about that nonsense of raising up the dead
Feeding that great multitude with just a minor spread
Blessing the boatmen delivering great hordes of fish
I heard he’s walked on water a trait for me, I wish
He does all these wonders and never asks for gold
He claims his gifts are freedoms never bought or sold
Well okay fellows what is it you want me to do
Look the other way when the vig takers accuse a jew
I’ll convene a kangaroo court stacked with your friends
But the Romans will eat the blame when all this chaos ends
We’ll give the public a choice Jesus or Barrabas, the thief
Shills in courtyard will condemn him causing you no grief
Death for this interloper a menace to the institution
Death for these crimes crucifixion a common execution
Bound to a cross three days, before taking his last look
Thought they erased him but you can find him in the book
A joyous but sad lesson that everyone should know
This is what usually happens when you buck the status quo
Categories:
shills, betrayal, bible, corruption, evil,
Form:
Rhyme
With apologies to Albert Camus
I once was a circus strongman,
Sovereign of midway spectacles.
I wore a leopard-skin loincloth
And a lion-claw necklace.
My club was seasoned hardwood.
I proudly dragged my knuckles
Through the sawdust and straw.
I wrestled the orangutan
And boxed the kangaroo.
I tore phone books in half
With my teeth.
I became a star promotion
With elevation from sideshow freak
To a main ring attraction.
My charisma was marketed
By carnival barkers and snake oil shills.
My future in show biz seemed bright.
My manner was summertime light,
And then came the fall.
Categories:
shills, allegory, life,
Form:
Burlesque
Tinted stars on flatter screens
suave images do hype
Black & White visages from
nostalgic era still archetype
Touched-up photos the ideal
caricature to swipe
Still Life portraits from
Renaissance remain heartfelt
prototype
Gratuitous mavericks, in
manicured uniforms with
stenciled bats, freely gripe
Talented shills in baggy pants
with suborned fealty flailed the
wooden pipe
Poltroons in front of polished
syndicate, with lofty promises
alter egos fight
Festooned pols with burnished
principles at the graven stump
unite
Educated shoppers browse
structured bins with
genetically-modified produce
tainted with chemical wipe
Third generation farmers in
Roaring 20's preen nature's
blight, then pick, sale organic
produce wholsomely ripe
Categories:
shills, education,
Form:
Rhyme
Democratic Senator Kirsten Gillibrand
Surely the most pious, learned Christian in all the land
Came out today with a most scholarly shocker
For which I find it hard to do aught but mock her
She told several fawning reporters** that restricting abortion
Is against the Christian faith, at least its most important portion
She explained that Christians are given free will, and then this:
That a democracy separating church and state is sadly remiss
If it intends to impose anti-abortion 'faith' against its citizens' wills
Thus labeling pro-lifers a denominational religion, as do political shills
So, whatever your stance on abortion may be, from pro-it to the death penalty
Perhaps on this we can all agree: Ms. Gillibrand's logic is pure quackery.
**CBS and Reuters
Categories:
shills, abortion, christian, faith, perspective,
Form:
Rhyme
As the dark pursues the light to gobble it up
So do new lies chase old truths to obliterate them
In a government that lives on lies
their truth will always be suspect
Repeating lies over and over
to make them true
did not work for the 3rd Reich
and it won't work for this imaginary 4th Reich
Some politicians and their business shills
Do not recognize facts as truths
as honesty can break beautiful deals
Truth shines too bright a light on lies
Truth is majestic and outlives falsehoods
Falsehoods ultimately cower before truth
Lies eventually die from exposure
The light of integrity subdues all liars
Beware of those who make deals in dark places,
Deceit hides in the pall of their schemes
Demand transparency and the truth will be revealed!
And your reality will never be ephemeral or misleading.
Categories:
shills, games, political,
Form:
Prose
Heard some twaddle ten days ago? some TWOTS with microphones giving it a go.'
Got some SCAZNA waddling in the hills.' 'Johns' Questioning the locals..By order of the shills.' I think there are snipers ? I wonder
Are there some, who gunned down our Koalas; 800 was it the sum.? Geez what a heap of trouble from twenty twenty on.'
Where has my 'easy going homeland gone?' Hey why not give the hunters shovels and picks? so they can dig the final grave
For vic-pol.. Away up there in the sticks.'
Categories:
shills, absence, age, bereavement, character,
Form:
Rhyme
I wandered lonely as the crowd
Of harlots, beggars, thieves and shills,
slow followed helpless as it plowed
Through the valleys, over the hills.
Although the leaders of this herd
Spoke loudly no one heard a word.
Continuous, amoeba like
It searched to find its changing way
A predator, slow poised to strike.
Its followers its chosen prey.
And yet the mindless throngs embrace
This demon with a hidden face.
The strange amoebic being purred
As its harsh needs it plainly shared
Its hum now in violence roared
Against all those who never cared.
A fire lit now boldly blazed
I knew somehow the mob was crazed.
And then they came with boots and clubs
Burned the stores and blamed the owners.
They weren’t the police but hooded thugs
Messengers of unknown donors.
I wandered lonely thru this crowd
And wondered, WHY, is this allowed.
John G. Lawless
©9/20/2022
Categories:
shills, america, anger, violence,
Form:
Rhyme
I do not agree with what my government does or says
You're labelled a terrorist for thinking for yourself these days.
Telling the truth gets you locked in a cell
Don't believe the media, only lies they tell.
Snowden and Assange, hero's of the people
Hated by our masters for informing their sheeple.
Just do your job you're no different to a battery
Never think and chucked in when you run out of energy.
They don't want people to see their slave chains
Just Money Zombies who never use their brains.
With their fake rules and fake education
They made it so we work while they're on a vacation.
This life is only hard for the ninety nine percent
The one doesn't own the world, so why do we pay them rent.
Money and taxation really is a sham
Its to keep them in power, we're all in a scam.
The Banksters are playing life's big game
They don't want change, they want it to stay the same.
They have their shills spreading lies and hate
Its for their New World Order, they think its fate.
They are not God's chosen few
This world is for everyone, including me and you.
I don't expect you to believe what I say
I just hope you'll think for yourself one day.
Categories:
shills, allusion, corruption, humanity, money,
Form:
Couplet
As the dark pursues the light to gobble it up
So do lies chase the truth to obliterate it
In a world that lives on lies
the truth will always be suspect
Some politicians and their business shills
Do not recognize facts as truths
As honesty can break beautiful deals
Truth shines too bright a light on lies
Truth is majestic and outshines falsehoods
Falsehoods ultimately cower before truth
Lies eventually die from too much exposure
The light of integrity subdues all liars
Beware of those who make deals in dark places,
Deceit hides in the pall of their schemes
Demand transparency and you will always know the truth!
And the truth will always be your ally.
Categories:
shills, truth, wisdom,
Form:
Free verse
Anarchy incited by consciousness divides deeply
rather than conquer those already sleeping
evermore the same, those who have, who have not
shills at a game of chance fill the room, persuasion the game
populated backstories idealize and idolize submission
turned up volume can’t let me think I can do anything about it
take my word for it...you’re mine...heartbeats synchronized
oh, how sweet it is to be loved by you...
Poisoned in the great well, Lucky Charms soothe
I remember, I forget and so the wheel turns...those
who do wake up sometimes it seems go back to...
my heart, if really mine, saddens to think the gold is only
water paint and it too shall run away...
I wrote this after reading about Osho...what happens to our Guru’s or beings
of great spirit? Does our society mock and loosen their fabric of gilt? Does it become the fabric of guilt? I know not...I wish I could see from this vantage point beyond the illusion of this world...from this protected innocence...I crave knowing the truth...
Categories:
shills, inspiration,
Form:
Blank verse