Best Sadmay Poems
In 1912 she sits in lane
On cobblestone in fog and rain
Buy a posy of violet hue
Lavender flowers with morning dew
Pinkest roses from my "barrow"
From gardens sweet in Health and Harrow
Take pity on a maid like me
So I may go and taste some tea
The morning mists do chill my soul
And I'm almost out of coal
I sleep each night in pauper's bed
As dreams of a saviour fill my head
To lead me up to a garden of flowers
Where I may rest and pass the hours
Far away from London's social tripe
And those who call me "guttersnipe"
Numbness spreading throughout my body,
Not knowing what to do or say.
I just have to try to make it through each and every day.
It's hard.
I feel numb,
Like when ice is left on your skin too long.
This numbness, it's strong.
I'm devoured in this trapped feeling.
Now I walk through each day in a dazed stupor,
Not knowing what to say or do.
It's hard to even fake a smile now, too.
It wastes my energy, what's left anyways.
Energy is being drained from my body,
Like water being poured out of a bottle.
I'm tired from trying to get out of bed,
I feel so numb, it's like I'm already dead.
Too much to wake up,
Too much to sit up,
Too much to think;
But how can I think if I'm so numb?
I can't.
In a way I like it.
No heartaches, sorrow, or sadness;
No shock, pain, or madness.
It's not there, it's all gone.
Numb from head to toe,
So numb I'm lost,
Don't know where to go.
I'm lost in this daze stupor.
But how can you FEEL numb, if you are numb?
It's nothingness that you feel.
It's true, not an idea or theory that's dumb.
The only other feeling is my head spinning like a wheel.
Devoured in numbness,
Not depression.
No need to cry, scream, or run.
For I am numb.
No touch I can feel,
No sound I can hear,
No scent that I can smell,
No vision I have to see.
Numbness is all I have in me.
If I try to speak, I'll scream.
If I try to see, I'll cry.
If I try to hear, my ears may bleed.
If I try to think, I would think I might die.
Numbness is my friend,
Always will be till the end.
The end is where I'll slip into and eternal slumber,
Where nothingness fills me.
In the end is where I’ll be
Slipping softly, willingly, into unconsciousness.
In the end it will be painless,
Even though life is painless now, thanks to the numbness.
Filling every inch of my soul,
Drifting into this mysterious realm.
A realm some may call death,
A realm of comfort, nonetheless.
I’m not fighting the moment.
I’m not wanting to, either.
I’m not afraid.
I feel it’s easier, better, to just…let go.
Is this love?
or is this stupidity?
We all may believe it is love
but is it really?
or is it just something we lead on that last
but never does?
love can feel like broken glass
going through your heart
piercing in so deep
making the pain, horrible
making you suffer
but if it is love
you will be happy
and cheerful
you will love your life
and never have to worry
about anything bad,
or getting ur heart ripped in a million pieces,
but it still may happen
and as i say again
is this love?
or is this stupidity?
is there really a way to know?
no,
it all depends
on how we feel
Cancer is a scary thing
And might not make us sing
All the people we hold dear
Just seem to disappear
Before they find a cure
They may or may not get rid of it
But no one forgets it
Do you see my folly?
It strikes me every.
Flying bolts of guilt and shame,
Seek me out and call my name.
You may see them, you may not,
But I doubt it for you know naught.
An assault of unsaid words,
A rush of possible consequences.
What will happen?
That's the point.
Possibilities of actions,
Effects and reactions.
All this burns inside,
Waiting for the truth you cannot reveal,
For you fear the truth,
And the wounds it won't let heal.
All of your games
I cannot take anymore
For they are just tearing me apart
In the heart
The arguments
Between you and I
Just hurt me
Instead of solving
The problems we have
I cant take it
Sometimes
I want to say
Its over
But for some reason
I just cant
When you leave
You dont even say goodbye
I sometimes wish
I could say goodbye
To you
Forever and more
I wish that was us
But its not the way
Life works
You may like me
But you dont show it
We may be together
For a while
But not forever and more
Im sorry
But I cant take
Anymore of your games
For they are
Just tearing me apart
My tears may fall
My heart may
Ache, But as time
Goes on my
Pain will fade,
Days and weeks have
Past me by,
My pain still
Hidden deep inside,
Slowly my love
For you has driven
Me insane,
I need someway
To end this pain,
A few more days pass
Me by, I find a
Cure for my
Empty life,
With one fatal blow
I fell to the
Floor, Ending my
Life forever
More, But this isn't
Were the story
Ends it continues
With, A
Note at the end.
Emma.
You may be handsome, you may be rich,
You may be clever, all factors which
May mean you have a happy home
And are blessed with the best that the world can bestow.
Your twenty-odd years may have passed with such ease:
No distress to compress, ever vex or displease.
Your match-making skills have succeeded again
And I'm left, at the end, in non-fictional pain.
Why can’t I close my eyes?
Does the darkness hide the fears that I have?
They are still there lurking
Waiting for me to relax for the briefest second
I just cannot find them
They are beyond my mortal senses
It is quiet and still as everyone else sleeps
Even their demons come after me
The real world is so far away
Nothing there matters to me
But I cannot sleep
My mind, my thoughts won’t allow it
Demons wander in the night
Reaching for my immortal soul
Any angels lost their wings
And they are no longer able to find me
I cannot run
I cannot hide
They are waiting, watching
If only I could sleep
Even if just for a moment
They may return to their lairs
And I may be able to relax
If even for just a single moment