Best Recovery From...Beautiful Poems
Thousand pieces of my broken heart
writhe and sings the tale of bedevilment[ torture]
love kills when faith turns delusive.
Innocense is masscred
promises are shattered
I have lived with the darkest truth,
a killer behind the beautiful face,
his ugliest secrets.
A gangster only knows his gun
traitorous to even his own mother and son
I am one of those fallen angels,
a blood splattered mistress,
under his satanic grip.
my beautiful body now bruished
damages are irrepairable..
Graveyard will surely smell this monster
My life ends in love with this gangster…
To be continues….
I accept what i need offer up what's left
Let ridicule fall on ears that are deft
Just as a fisherman catches fish on his hook
I write out my poems and put together books
The reason I do it is clear as can be
I feel it's what the Lord ask of me
For 41 years I had no idea I was a poet
But if I couldn't cook it I could damn sure grow it
My life consumed by Marijuana and speed
Trusting in them to provide what I need
They replaced my job and even my love
They were everything that I held above
They picked me up whenever i felt low
If I got to high they helped me to slow
No, I didn't write poems or watch the T.V.
Never touched a computer said, "Thats not for me"
Traded in the girls because the next on was cuter
Woke up with a shot went to bed with a hooter
I would run day and night until I would drop
Running more from myself than from any cop
I chemically induced away all my dreams
See rivers take mothers after being formed by streams
These days my head feels like it's in a vice
I'll tell you right now my pains nothing nice
Weekly shots I take for the Hepatitis C
Epidural Steroid blocks in the spine for me
Every doctor I see I greet with a smile
Not feeling to good but I will after while
They say my attitude is one that is great
I see the beauty of love with no time for the hate
I have no reason for anger or time to be mad
No reason for all that this is my bad
This isn't that bad hell I've suffered more
At least I can turn my knob and walk out the door
Reality is real but it's also a dream
Things that are clear may not be as they seem
The Lord is my master to whom which I serve
For he's already given me more than I deserve
Children who love me and a beautiful wife
All the blessings a man needs in life
So Doctor tell me how can I not smile
At least I'm not alone walking this mile
I have you guys and the Lord walking with me
And thats about as beautiful as beautiful can be
I dedicate this poem to all of my doctors
Dr. Garrison - Primary
Dr. Merliss - Neurologist
Dr. Aldwari - Infectious Disease Specialist
Dr. Johnson- Pain Management Specialist
Dr. Beck - Physical Therapist
I feel very blessed to have such a fine
team working so hard on my recovery.
I also wish to thank everyone for all the
Prayers I have received. I love you guys.
If I were to believe in you, would you believe in me?
If everything that I promised you actually came to be
If I were a beautiful rainbow, a reflection in the sky
Formed by the rays of light as your tears you cried
Sweetheart I am just a simple man with a complex plight
My blessing is you’re here with me, as this quest I fight
Sweetheart you know I’m a warrior, though I live like a ghost
I fight and write living my plight, inside the belly of the host
From shore to shore, a forever war, that will never end
Just today I got the word the host has taken another friend
Another soul another goal of course another wasted life
God I am a lucky man to have become one with my wife
Pains insane it shreds my brain and tears my heart into
I’m left here asking myself, “Was there anything I could do”
I have to write a eulogy though I just don’t know what to say
Here is a soul, another hole, for someone who lost his way
Sobriety is really great but at times it is truly rather hard
You watch them take another friend and plant him in the yard
Another smoke, another joke another party has reached its end
Here I sit in a spiritual pit feeling totally lost about my friend
I hope someday someone reads what I say, takes another course
Pass on doing that shot, love it or not, death upon the black tar horse
So I shall write my Eulogy falling to pieces about my friend
Who made fun of the man I turned out to be, until the very end
But that’s ok it was just his way, right up until the day he died
The one true light shinning bright, lives inside of you and I
So will all of you join with me let your spirits pen my words
About a beautiful soul, who found his goal, flying with the birds
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Very few people in this life that I love enough to let make fun
of the changes I made in my life. Addiction (The Host) took 6
friends in 2007, 5 in 2008 and this is the first in 2009. He didn't
overdose he was shot a couple of days ago in Chico, Ca during
a home invasion robbery over his heroin debt. I used to always
pay his debts when it reached this point with bags of Meth. This
time I couldn't go there for him and now he is dead. This is my
life, my gift and my curse. God Bless you all, mj
stepped out of the dark, and into the light.
woke up from a nightmare, fell asleep to a dream.
went from a permanent night, to a forever sunlit day.
the look of the thick cloud in front of me.
people would call this a tragedy.
but to me, its a beautiful monster.
being cold, to being hot.
my mind and body racing.
i cant seem to catch up.
i want more of this beautiful monster.
to feel my body go from ice to fire.