Best Real Estate Poems
Squirrel agent showed him thousands of trees
this particular client being very picky
how about this one she'd plead
no he'd say not enough leaves
She'd say this one is nice but he'd disagree
saying too many squirrels means no privacy
after weeks of driving around they got into a rut
basically the squirrel agent about to give up
As a last resort she showed him a human beings attic
thinking this will teach him not to give me anymore static
but her client loved it and moved in with his nuts
living there till the humans evicted him with their mutts
He finally said I'll have to stop being so picky
moving into a cell tower right by the city
saying this is great I now have a new home
picking up great signals on his cell phone.
And as for the real estate agent she turned in all her business cards
going back to her old job as a squirrel crossing guard.
10-25-17
Categories:
real estate, animal, humor,
Form:
Light Verse
Fingerprints on frozen windows
Night of wonder
Avenue of lost souls
She waits..maybe his shadow will play
the "game of shapes" on walls of skyscrapers
The street is as naked as her heart
She knows she's not so good looking on the outside
but what a rhapsody of soul...
even the marine layer cries with joy on balconies of roses.
I hold her tears in my little, pink jewelry box
I lost the key to wind up the spring of the little ballerina inside
I go and visit the place with windows
but there are no more fingerprints..
The place was sold...
Categories:
real estate, nostalgialost, lost,
Form:
Free verse
Curl of smoky streaks
Joss stick messages;
Heaven bound
~~~~~~~~~
Temple visit
Feast day moments;
Talk to the dead
~~~~~~~~~
Bright Hill Temple
Where rites bring peace;
Family gathering
~~~~~~~~~
Temple verandah,
Spacious prayer courtyard;
Surreal this heaven
~~~~~~~~~
Closed eyes salute
An inner realm calls;
Spiritual insight
~~~~~~~~~
Here we gather
Offer our earthly harvests;
Poignant celebration
~~~~~~~~~
Briefly we come
Ply food offerings;
Gratitude tells
~~~~~~~~~
Columbarium niche
Earthly ashes laid;
Fond remembrance
~~~~~~~~~
All Souls Day
By parents' niche tomb;
Familiar voices speak
~~~~~~~~~
Echoes in hallway
Death talks in silence;
Life feels message
~~~~~~~~~
Poise in strange voice
Talking in my head;
Ecstatic insight
~~~~~~~~~
Brief is our time here
In-between eternities;
Grief comes too late
~~~~~~~~~
Songbirds sing
A rustic hymn;
Salute the dead
~~~~~~~~~
Flowers sparkle bright
Crimson, violet, orange hues;
Bourgainvillea vines
~~~~~~~~~
Hurl of midday sun
Casting odd silhouettes;
Deserted columbarium
~~~~~~~~~
Leon Enriquez
22 October 2014
Singapore
Categories:
real estate, anniversary,
Form:
Haiku
Earth's death seems to be in our stars
End comes from the greed planet's scars
But the rich have reach
And will visit the beach
Near estates they've purchased on Mars
Categories:
real estate, earth, earth day, funny,
Form:
Limerick
In the Sunday paper, I can't wait
To read the section "Real Estate."
From articles that do entail
Descriptions of the homes for sale
To stories of where folks have looked,
I'm riveted and really hooked.
I check the prices, note the taxes,
Find the parks where one relaxes;
Scan the photos for decor,
Observe each window, roof and door.
I try to picture living there
And how that lifestyle might compare.
You'd think I'm aiming for improving.
What's ironic? I'm not moving!
Categories:
real estate, house,
Form:
Rhyme
Real Estate Jargon Explained
By Elton Camp
When a house is for sale there’s good reason why
Trouble can come to anyone who advertises a lie
If the sellers certain expressions carefully choose
It will become easy the careless buyer to confuse
“This house is simply loaded with charm.”
Means we hope old and ugly won’t alarm
If you see it’s a “Pet friendly neighborhood,”
Dog manure in your yard should be understood
The praising note, “Easy access to the freeway”
Means thousands will pass your house each day
Beware the notation of “Low maintenance lot.”
Since neither front nor back yards have you got
“Historic house maintained in its original state”
It is a run-down old relic that you soon will hate
“It’s a doll house that you are going to adore.”
The house’s tiny rooms you’ll come to deplore
“The dwelling is located on a fine corner lot”
Then traffic both front and sides you have got
If the place is described as “Ready to move in,”
Then painted with the cheapest grade it has been
“A desirable neighborhood” means that its location
Has made it overpriced due to a snobbish reputation
If of “In-city living” the seller proudly does tell
Not safe to walk after dark it should say as well
If it is a “Handy-man special,” then better look out
The old place is ready to collapse without any doubt
If the advertisement should say, “Lots storage space,”
The basement is nothing but a dark, moldy disgrace
If the selling point is of “Seasonal water view,”
It means water was visible before the trees grew
If the seller says that “All your lot is usable land,”
You can know that not a single tree still does stand
If “Close to shopping” the advertisement does call
It means your backyard is adjacent to the big mall
When the imperative is that you must “See inside,”
It has a horrid exterior that is impossible to hide
If it is happily described as “Cozy, it should be read
That no room is big enough to contain a full-size bed
This is how “Make an offer” you actually should take:
It’s been long on the market so don’t make a mistake
The inviting phrase is “Watch wildlife from your patio”
You can expect to get ticks and fleas if outside you go
So if your house purchase in a year you will praise,
Watch carefully for the real meaning of each phrase
Categories:
real estate, funnyhouse, old, water, house,
Form:
Rhyme
I procured this entire planet
For you, the world was never enough
A honeymoon real estate
Somewhere to relax and have a laugh
I wanted something private
Private islands are a dime-a-dozen
This is a great future investment
On Mars, you'd be the first citizen
Girl, our love is a hot red iron
Spreading on the red planet like wildfire
You know I'm not just a businessman
But a spaceman...rockets burning with desire
Thabang Jan Ngoma
06-21-2015
Sponsor: Joe Maverick
Contest: Subject Mars
Categories:
real estate, future, love, red, planet,
Form:
Rhyme
The fallen nest of life
whose straw lay strewn,
holds no bidders.
The ransacked burrow
...caved in,
holds no retail value.
The marsh land paved,
still resonates
through your cup of tea.
Twas their last plea;
which you ignored.
Real estate is only profitable
when built by people.
...But animal real estate
holds more value.
Categories:
real estate, nature
Form:
Apartments are expensive
With an extra monthly fee
For maintenance, which I can
Understand, to a degree.
But in an advertisement
For a condo that’s for sale,
A factor was included
That would make some people bail.
Along with monthly maintenance,
The purchasers would pay
Nine hundred for utilities
But, more outrageous, they
Would have to shell out, with no choice,
(Get set for Oh, my goshing!)
A fee of almost fifty bucks
For monthly window washing!
Perhaps it’s people just like me
Who prompted such expenses.
My windows, lacking such demands,
Display the consequences.
Categories:
real estate, new york,
Form:
Rhyme
When your only home is your body
a home that took a lifetime to build
with your own blood your mortar
bound with your own bruises brick by brick
when you are cut and measured by your parents
but still find a piece of fertile land
on which to build your home and tend a garden
with the sweat and tears of friends
to have the state tear up your deed
and evict you like you never lived
Categories:
real estate, america, extended metaphor, gender,
Form:
Free verse
master's of art , together they designed
two seperate kingdoms , only one to reside
amongst us they test ,our strength , our might
a theater uncommon to common sight
the most ancient of wars , the heavenly fued
breakdown the structure , become unglued
birthing of twins , constant companions
eventually choose our elected battalions
conflict , campaign , is considered insane
upheavals , bedeviled , exist on another plane
unbeknowst to most , remain in a coma
free reign to they who then direct our soma
imposters amongst us , at one time we knew
signed on against love , chances they blew
our hearts keep a record , thoughts and deeds
intent and purpose of the trails we lead
from understanding , we can rid ,the murky , polluted
and then move on to become reconstituted .
Categories:
real estate, imagination, introspection, life, love,
Form:
Free verse
Who’s putting up them signs everywhere, anyway?
“For sale by owner”
Seems to matter who owns what
What?
What does it mean to be real
Desperate enough to spin the wheel
To be a citizen of democracy
Requires incredible sacrifice
Usually blood and definitely tears
The hypocrisy stops now
With years and years of reckless responsibility
There is an indigenous idiocrasy
On the current state of affairs
Whose land is this anyway?
Mine? Yours?
Theirs?
Return to the Mother
Earth is calling us home
Return to Eden
With eyes wide open
I see
She is everywhere
In everything.
It’s never too late
To impress the Empress
The Green Goddess of Life
And really clean up
Our act.
Stop selling Her short
Stop selling Her off
And clean up after ourselves
Like Mama always taught us, right?
And pickup those **** signs
After the sale is made.
Categories:
real estate, environment,
Form:
Free verse
small graves -
more horror packed
per acre on holy land
Categories:
real estate, children, death, grave, war,
Form:
Haiku