Best Phonies Poems
Cain killed Abel on a Monday night
Abel didn’t get a chance to put up much of a fight
Cain said, “am I my brother’s keeper?” God said, “yeah,” but Cain said, “nah”
Adam just shook his head and rubbed his jaw
And Adam said,
"Good grief, my oh my
We’ve got a Tom o’ Bedlam, get a load of this guy
Well this is not ideal, but what ya gonna do?
It’s the world we’re living in," well Abel lived in it too
Orestes killed his mama on a Friday night,
‘Cause his mama killed his daddy, not the world’s best wife
Orestes pleaded his case that what he did was really good
The Fates said, “what the heck is wrong with this dude?”
But Athena said,
"Good grief, my oh my
We’ve got a Tom o’ Bedlam, get a load of this guy
Well this is not ideal, but what ya gonna do?
It’s the world we’re living in," his mama lived in it too
Genghis Khan burned a village on a Wednesday night
The villagers begged him to put out that light
But Genghis was busy fighting and conquering the land
He had a vision for the world that they just couldn't understand
And his army said,
"Good grief, my oh my
We’ve got a Tom o’ Bedlam, get a load of this guy
Well this is not ideal, but what ya gonna do?
It’s the world we’re living in," those people lived in it too
Jack the Ripper killed some women on a Saturday night
With a couple of slashes from his handy knife
The world got around through the city of London
But everyone said, “didn’t those women kinda, have it coming?”
And the people said,
"Good grief, my oh my
We’ve got a Tom o’ Bedlam, get a load of this guy
Well this is not ideal, but what ya gonna do?
It’s the world we’re living in," well those women lived in it too
Mark David Chapman killed John Lennon on a Sunday night
After reading the book Catcher in the Rye
He saw what was wrong with the world, too many phonies parading around
And someone oughta put 'em all into the ground
And the papers said,
"Good grief, my oh my
We’ve got a Tom o’ Bedlam, get a load of this guy
Well this is not ideal, but what ya gonna do?
It’s the world we’re living in," well John Lennon lived in it too
Categories:
phonies, allegory, funny, murder, mythology,
Form:
Political Verse
The tradition of marriage,
Bourgeois blackmail and baggage,
Is it all a bargain for men,
Is this what white weddings meant?
All the love that is lost,
And what is the ultimate cost?
A divorce court pizza,
Magistrate smirks like Mona Lisa,
Four corners, one for each,
Dog gets the crust, if it can reach,
Cats get the anchovies,
Were white weddings all for phonies?
When is the revolution?
Blancmange brides for pollution,
Bridesmaids-Little Bo Peeps on crack,
Does society cut us some slack?
We joined the bourgeoisie,
All ends in tears and hypocrisy.
Categories:
phonies, husband, romance, romantic, society,
Form:
Free verse
Stubbing my toeses and whiskers on women
Stepping on nettles and by a swarm of bees bitten
Bounded like hostages tied up with strings
These are a few of my suckiest things
White collared phonies and bills piled in oodles
Bad smells and poop felled from schnauzers and poodles
Old geezers who cry when the old swooner sings
These are a few of my suckiest things
News from the presses with more stock value slashes
Cornflakes that grow soggy when in the milk splashes
Little wood splinters that felt like a sting
These are a few of my suckiest things
When the moon lights
When the glee sings
When I’m feeling glad
I stumble upon one of my suckiest things
And everything turns bad
>
Categories:
phonies, funny,
Form:
Rhyme
They say we Jews are afraid
that no one 'now' will come to our aid
Murder of Jews in America is multiplying
more and more hate crimes, innocents dying
Well, that’s the way it’s always been
as any Jew with two eyes has seen
Six million of us killed by Hitler and his cronies
without a hand lifted to stop it by Roosevelt and his liberal phonies
To prevent the last 750,000, from Hungary, from being gassed
they only needed to target one railway pass
But FDR and his friends grew up hating those ‘damn Jews’
so, all our urgent pleas they angrily refused…
Today though, there is Israel, the Jewish state
reestablished in '48 on the back of global hate
A state that stands boldly against acts of terror
where Jewish Israelis glance not in the rearview mirror
My fellow Jewish Americans, the time is now to emigrate
let's remake our lives in Israel ~ before here it’s too late
_____________________________________________________
Anyone willing to do the slightest bit of research will find out
just how big a Jew-hater FDR was from his early years on...And
his shocking wave-of-the-hand dismissal of so many urgent
pleas to spare one or two bombs to target Germany's transport
of 750,000+ Hungarians Jews to Auschwitz in 1944 STANDS OUT
as perhaps his cruelest act as President, right up there with the
much more widely publicized incarceration of up to 1,800 Japanese-
Americans during WW2.
Categories:
phonies, america, hate, history, jewish,
Form:
Couplet
As a child I had recurring dreams
Of Indians, death and gorilla themes.
The Indians rode on painted ponies,
So real they seemed, they couldn't be phonies.
Turned out they were real and scouts to boot,
My Dad was tapped out, ain't that a hoot!
The gorillas were loud and right outside,
I cried to Mom, I had to confide.
One morning she woke me and said "Listen up!"
My gorilla was only two bird dog pups!
But the worst of all was my dream of death,
I was dying or dead and couldn't catch breath!
Just how would I die and when would it be?
Turns out I'd have to wait years to see.
Mom said, "Never fear, for Jesus is here."
"Just pray to The Lord, and keep Jesus near."
Soon the dreams faded, gone from my life.
Understanding my dreams, had lifted my strife.
Categories:
phonies, death, dream, life,
Form:
Couplet
Life's a gamble, you gon' take that chance?
Damn right, I'm 'bout cash, you know what fills my pants
That charge carry life, you gon' stay on ya' grind?
Hell yeah, you already know, money's on my mind
What if the police watching, you gon' stand on that corna'?
Hell nah, I'll be ducked-off, I ain't a slow learner
What ya' gon' do, play cards or roll dice
Life's short, move fast, don't think twice
Life's a gamble, don't go broke, hit the jackpot
Stay solo, running in packs get ya' tied-up...knot
Got a few loyal soldiers, lots of phonies and fakes
The game's like a cave, filled with rats and snakes
There's too many hustles to be sitting 'round broke
Call me, like a manager, I got work
Gotta' take chances in life, nothing's guaranteed
Would you go get it, even if you had to bleed?
Mind over matter, but what matter's on my mind
Not a pro-skater, but I stay on my grind
Try 'n' take mines, best believe you gettin' hit
Bring ya' crew, and my choppa'll serve a banana split
By any means necessary...that's my motto
I wouldn't change my life, even if I hit the lotto
Categories:
phonies, life, metaphor, people, poems,
Form:
Rhyme
you gotta join in the struggle for the ill-gotten gains
of the movers and the shakers on the streets Wall and Main
we will take what we are due like the Sioux we'll count coup
on the heads of the masters and their double-talkin pastors
on the bankers and their chumps and the phonies on the stumps
on the bosses in their offas and the supers in the sweats
no more settlin for the scraps at the foot of the table
no more truck-wide income gaps ablin biddies to wear sable
at the time that we have won they will know that they are done
and we'll be sittin pretty like Scarface own the city
and the ones who called us chums they'll be fightin for our crumbs
wonderin how the heck that happened while they're suckin on their thumbs
(chorus)
first restitution
then redistribution
sweet retribution
if we don't stick together like those birds of a feather
we will never take our place on the seat of the throne
where who you want you can punish and the rest throw a bone
Categories:
phonies, rap,
Form:
Free verse
I’m not much into phonies
And I love to play the ponies
I spend too much shoppin’
And do too less moppin’
I love my amazing hubby
My fantastic cat, Chubby
Starbuck’s Passion Iced Tea
That trashy Reality TV
My famed DVR recorder
Though not exactly in that order!
I am crazy about my fitness classes
And adorable old men who make passes
'Experts' say I have ADD, but I don’t agree
The reasons…Wow look, a hickory tree!!!***
I fancy fine champagne and microbrew beer
When the Broncos are on, you’ll hear me cheer
Well, good friends, alas, my departing…
Why, you ask? Big Brother is starting!!!
***Warning: If you ‘get’ this, you just might have ADD :)
Categories:
phonies, lifelove,
Form:
Rhyme
Ode to Holden Caulfield
I'm not even going to mention that term you scattered so ubiquitously throughout your memoir
It's pretentious to bring it up, like I'm trying to prove something
I mean, why would anyone who claims to be a so-called devotee fall into the trap of perpetuating the hypocrisy you so profusely railed against
Your fierce, but misplaced and naive attempts at integrity fall short everywhere … but in that field … and on the edge of that cliff
f
f
That is where you find yourself and your genuine purpose
You save the innocent from corruption
That is a noble cause
That is where,
despite your upbringing and your awkward attempts at acculturation,
you find an escape
That is where,
despite your prodigious flaws and your insolence to all that is holy,
you find redemption
OK. I'll say it – Everyone is a phony. But the real phonies are the ones who don't even know it
Like Stradlater in the back of Ed Banky's car
Categories:
phonies, loneliness, meaningful, symbolism,
Form:
Ode
in a room laced with gloom
his beats boom he dreams of wreckin' the mike
his momma's home she's alone
a sad song she struggles she fights
his lil' sis' is quite a miss
but them fives they do dis' they women so bad
but they alright except at night
for fives will fight you know a drive-bye’s to be had
in the ghetto he's a cello
if he's yellow he's bound to get played
his homies ain't no phonies
they drinkin' forties and lookin' to get paid
on the corner he's a gonna'
take lil' Jack Horner’s fo' they Christmas pie
sticks in his thumb pulls out a gun
ya' betta' run son he's one crazy lil' five
there's two sides to this lil' five
he's full of jive and has a heart of gold
if he jacks you fo' fifty don't give in too swiftly
he's kinda' shifty he'll want fifty more
his mom's on welfare nobody else will care
some fives they do stare at his lil' sis
on Sundays in church his soul he must search
at night he does dirt a childhood was missed
a baby born a bastard; things happen fasta'
the streets might cast ya' in the role of a wimp
a five from L.A. drivin' a six tre'
crime it do pay wants his name on the blimp
the U.S. government cannot prevent
this adolescent from goin' astray
not to mention juvenile detention
just another dimension of the American way
joined a street gang it's a ghetto thang
playin' the dope game he's a thug fo' life
original gangstas like this lil' pranksta'
he can't wait to shank ya' in the heat of the night
OG's got a mission some fives they dissed 'em
pranksta' can get 'em it's initiation day
the scene's a playground it's fin' to go down
babies they run 'round looks like a foray
closer and closer his heart grows colder
gettin' bolder and bolder his nine-millimeter jams
seventeen years old his body turns cold
his last episode hollow points rip his ass
a frontpage story didn't earn no glory
nature was predatory really dug his profile
he carried my name could not break the chain
he lived in vain he was my only child
Categories:
phonies, society,
Form:
Free verse
If you know how to die you know how to live.
Listen to Bryant
In the basement by the light bulb.
Live and Let Die
Let Me Die First.
(Release some air for the breathless)
Die with a whole heart, unbroken, unfixed
Die without orgasms
Die at 47--Depression
Die at ten and seven--Fell off the earth
Listen to O'Neill
I know this guy, I know his circles
I've inherited his gift/curse of
Seeing the insides of people through their pupils
Blue, Hazel, Brown, Black, they're all the same
They hate their lives but they don't show it
They sob sitting on the cold steel toilet
No periods, no commas, to hell with punctuation
There's no poetry, no fiction, no prose
Stop writing
Stop drinking your coffee and
Typing on your laptops
Stop your romanticizing
Nobody cares
The best have already been
You're only copycats and imitators and posers
Amateurs
The great ones dig deeper in the ground
Away from you
Read and don't write
Or
Do some math problems
"Everybody needs math nowadays"
Become a
Doctor or a
Stock broker
Or
Go turn to dust at your cubicle
Do some slothful American job
Communication Nation
Industrialization
Mechanization
Machines run the nation
People watch the machines
And wet themselves
And soil themselves
And ejaculate
Listen to Bob Dylan
Was this good enough for you
Poetry Soup, poetry.com, winningwriters.com?
Did it make the minimum amount of sense?
Was it modern enough for you?
You're just like the rest of the jungle
"Phonies"
"Conformists"
Praise be to Jean Marie Marchese,
And Tony Bush, and Deborah
Simpson and...Gods of the poetic universe
If only I were a Premier Member
Categories:
phonies, angst, confusion, introspection, life,
Form:
Free verse
People would do anything to get their hands on the money, even stealing from these people.
I'm told that people will have committed insurance fraud by either faking an injury,
faking a full disability, or fake a death. These people really need to be honest with all
of the insurance companies, that also includes the auto insurance companies, because if
these hard-working employees who are working for all insurance companies find out that
these bad people aren't really injured or whatever, they're going to jail. It makes me
sick that those phonies will tend to bleed all of them dry. There's a lot of
investigations that will have been started by multiple insurance companies, and one of
them is either Nationwide, Allstate, and/or others. We've got insurance fraudulent
investigations, embezzlement investigations, the works. What I don't like about these
people, trying to have gypped these insurance agents and its companies out of their
hard-earned money is when they became scam artists. And unless these so-called "victims"
prove that they're injured in auto accidents or whatever, then they don't have cases
pending. Now I know why I never want to defraud all of the insurance companies out of
their money, because I'm not like one of these scam artists. So if these people are
planning on gypping these hard workers who work for multiple insurance companies out of
their hard-earned money, well they've got another coming. So my suggestion for these
would-be scam artists better be honest with all insurance companies because if they're
planning on taking their money from these hard-workers and their companies, they're going
to prison for fraud and theft. This type of fraud has got to stop.
Categories:
phonies, epicpeople, money, people,
Form:
Epic
Leading you!
Close your eyes let me show you the way
Not a hit movie or child's play
Let me reveal some things to you this day
Answer questions family feuds pass my days
My ways are better than yours remember
Like Rocky shot Bull winkle twinkles December
Let me change sides arrange the lyrics to your song
Sony kicked death jam with Chris bomb
Based projects sold fences with wrenches
Battled down tears with walls called truth with suspension
Called out the wanna be's
Bees with no tree flowers with stems broke back pinned in with fig leaves
Let me separate wheat from tears
Phonies with no hairs
Traces of laces lies slipped in with truth see
Listen to me I have all the antidotes
Cable with no remotes
Change traded for stock piles without notes
Who says that I am
Cap sized skillets sticking like Pam
Pressured arteries hospitalized pumped up with methadone like shame
Discovery hidden in the dark
Let me reveal to you when light hit the chart
When man made time
Talk mess with no rhymes
Peeped game like Slick mine
Rick Ross with no crimes
Let me strip up a mid line
Crooked ways been signs
Operated chilled shine
Gold nuggets been laced
With under cover who based
Truth facts with out states
Property been paid
No money like mechanical tool base
Wait now later caught up with tooth paste
Categories:
phonies, humor, leadership,
Form:
Lyric
To all who claim that they are always here for me,
whenever I need to reach out and seek support from anybody.
All of you, and I mean all of you are all hypocritical phonies,
who just want to feel good about themselves selfishly,
convincing yourself that you're helping one in need,
when all of you couldn't care less in reality.
When I am attempting to pour my heart out with great difficulty,
Shut Your Freaking Mouth, and just listen to me.
Allow me to complete a thought or sentence at the very least.
Don't be so driven to hear yourself talk so eagerly,
because the message you are sending to yours truly,
is, "I'm not listening, I'm not interested, I just want to talk on endlessly."
Allow Me To Express My Grief Openly,
without getting interrupted by your annoying voice continually,
and that's just the hypocrites I've dealt with personally.
To the rest of you out there, the assholes of many,
who claimed, "I'm here for you Bill. I would die for you Billy."
I never asked anything from any of you previously,
but when I asked all of you a small favor that was important to me,
a task performed literally costless, conveniently and effortlessly,
not one single response from my so called family or friends, not any.
was received from any of you bastards and bitches, not one of you phonies.
So I guess what I'm trying to express here in it's entirety,
is Screw All Of You Mother Screwing Phonies, SCREW EVERYBODY!
Every MotherScrewing One Of You, STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!
Categories:
phonies, anger, angst, anxiety, betrayal,
Form:
Rhyme
1. phonies hate down to earth people and vice versa. Phonies think real people are crazy. Real people know phonies are crazy. 2. The best things in life are free. The better things in life cost money. fools think otherwise.
Categories:
phonies, angel,
Form:
Blitz