Best Pest Poems

You are my pest-friend,
As you may not know,
And I deem it my pleasure and privilege
To write this panegyric of you.

Mostly chocolate brown in complexion;
And very rarely, if ever, you produce a freakish white.
In your worldwide family, 
I don’t think incest is a taboo.
I am no...

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Goodbye, farewell, adieu, please go away,
this house is mine. I will not share with you.
You see my cabinets as a buffet,
pay no rent, and use the floor as your loo.

You fail miserably as a roommate,
and I’ll be more than glad to see you gone.
Sinisterly gleeful...

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There was a young man from the west
Saw a girl with a mighty fine chest
He asked for a peep
She called him a creep
Kicked him hard in the crotch...dang pest...

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My parents complain of a mythical pest,

Infesting our house since the 7th of July,

Devouring the snacks, desserts,

delicacies and everything hot, spicy or sweet,

Determined to find the beast,

Fattened with food meant for me.

with a magic wand and on a broom to hunt

set out may it be...

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Shall you crawl back here
Pressed into the crevice of your choice
And no repentance bare
For the canker from your dark device
You will not gnaw nor litter
This domain that trust misplaced in you
Somthing dark and sinister
Compelled your judgment to err, brew
Its black bitter bile in you
And made...

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I asked my mom for help finding a poem
Like Miss M said.
(A poem containing neologisms, or spoonerisms, or a pun).
But try as we might, it just couldn’t be done.
We Googled.
We Read.
There was no poem that was fun.
So me and mum wrote this poem instead. 
My...

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Mosquito die
and the fly too
splat by swatter...

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Eros A.K.A. Cupid
Mediterranean pest
winged baby with hidden strings
his meddling flings...

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Political standards are falling
To a point some say is appalling
The Elephant said:
"You've got to wear red
And knock on their door, "Aphid calling"!...

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They go bump in the night you'll see them only out of the corner of your eye and that's
only if they want to be seen there attracted to filth and they multiply like crazy in your
bread in your bed even where your baby sleeps
 ...

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>••••••••••< 


The older wiser spider, now faster than the storm,

found his way inside and at last was dry and warm 

but he strolled to his demise when he passed me in my room, 

for the older...

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My garden backs onto a farm
Which shouldn’t cause any alarm
With so much fresh air
I’m glad I live there 
And only one thing spoils its charm

I feed the birds and feral cats
At night I enjoy watching bats
The field mice and spiders
That reside beside us
Are fine, but...

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I do not like how bed bugs prey
They feast upon us night and day
Praise God be kind
Grant peace of mind
And blow those blood-suckers away!...

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How do I convince this angry borer bee
My small redwood stoop belongs to me?

He persists in buzzing my frustrated head
I'm trying to find ways to make him dead.

He flies faster than a hypersonic missile
I certainly cannot shoot him with a pistol,

I painted it with a...

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Young and old, kindly recall
All humans are equal,
Only differentiated by gender
Let's all on this ponder.

Dream with all courage,
Think beyond the horizon of marriage.
No man rules with a pest
And freedom befriends not a parasite.

Marriage is not everything
See even the lioness preys with her king.
Success favors no...

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