Best Malfunctioning Poems
WHY MEN ARE CALLED GROOM AND WOMEN BRIDE
Hullabaloo and cacophony etched in your Union,
Soliloquies to break up with your said-protagonist of a spouse,
You forgot your beautiful euphony, word fusion
When the beginning of two you can't even denounce.
Six months will turn sixty years, hopefully,
Only if you refuse to pull off the plug.
Hope to reminisce your days in the solitary.
Scattered equations be fixed like a computer bug
Malfunctioning & calculating 2 plus 2 as three.
Why is the newly wedded Man called GROOM,
And the woman, full of mystery, called BRIDE?
Her chromosomes which is genetic info room
Is like a deep ocean even as you swim with the tide.
Wedding day was when you 'ere commissioned as GROOM
For the new task of a durational long learning passage.
Nobody calls her WIFE on wedding days but BRIDE,
Your Union overtime will birth it's own adage:
Man "grooms" his BRIDE to become the WIFE.
That's why Men are called "Bridegroom" when he's trending,
Grooming connotes patiently nurturing, teaching her to thrive,
Helping her become and carefully tending.
The altar is for two madly-in-love MATURED mates,
Patiently inclined to groom and to be groomed.
High expectations may automatically results to hate,
To become a WIFE she must be graciously groomed,
It doesn't mean one has the edge.
Before thinking separation, have you groomed her?
Give time for understanding, your universe will merge.
The HAND will need to be patient with the PUZZLE
Else a scattered piece, a show of tumbled King,
Broken Queen will surface, alongside dilapidated Castle.
She's to be your WIFE but still your BRIDE inspite the ring,
Just GROOM the BRIDE, don't painfully hustle
Cos your Union isn't a semantic struggle tussle
If only you follow Divine steps to avoid the hassle.
VickWizzy
Vick Manuel Poetry {VMP}
Copyright © 7th May, 2020.
Categories:
malfunctioning, 1st grade, for her,
Form:
Iambic Pentameter
They wiped my thoughts
with antiseptic hands,
wrung my mind through linen logic
and hung me between breakfast
and scheduled silence.
Every hour—accounted for.
Every spark—neutralised.
Brainwashed.
Hope came in timed doses—
measured in milligrams
and dispensed with a paper cup
and plastic smile.
I swallowed the sun in tablet form
until it glowed from the inside
like a malfunctioning lamp.
Brainwashed.
I used to speak in fractured gold,
each sentence a riddle
spun from starlight and defiance.
They taught me to speak correctly—
which meant quietly,
which meant not at all.
Brainwashed.
They dressed me in fabric
the colour of pause,
stitched my name
into the hem of conformity,
taught me not to wander
outside the red line
of permissible imagination.
Brainwashed.
They made me fill in boxes:
Do you still hear them?
Do you still dream strange?
Do you still think
you are more than
this?
I circled no, and smiled.
Brainwashed.
My mirror stopped recognising me.
It showed a still ocean
where once there were storms.
I waved—but my reflection
had better things to do
than remember who I was
before routine became religion.
Brainwashed.
But some nights—
when the world forgets to monitor me,
and the ceiling isn’t watching—
I find poems hidden
under my tongue,
fierce and unprescribed.
I whisper them backwards
to keep them safe.
Still writing.
Or so they think.
Because inside the silence,
beneath the disinfected compliance,
something unwashed pulses—
raw, brilliant,
and unfinished.
I remember.
Categories:
malfunctioning, mental illness,
Form:
Free verse
Osteoporosis, spinal stenosis
halitosis, that's the grossest
Hemorrhoids, hypo hyper thyroids
gallbladder removal will leave a void
Arthritis, pyelonephritis, gingivitis
we will survive in spite of these
Toe fungus will not be the death of us
its' cure you will ask what was all the fuss
Crooked toes, snotty nose, itchy down below
Pancreatitis, gastroenteritis, myocarditis
cannot frighten us, though impotence might
and possibly to a womans' delight
on not
Torn rotator cuff, oral cancer from rubbing snuff
COPD will make you huff and puff
Diminished brain, malfunctioning drains
generalized aches and pains
of these we are not deprived
BUT, it's still awesome to be alive
Categories:
malfunctioning, health, humor,
Form:
Rhyme
Winter nights, the darkness comes quick
Key in door, to an empty house
Jacket falls fast right on the floor
I stare at the stand, at the telephone for sure
There she sits, alone, unmoving
No blinking light
No message at all
From a lovers voice or even a call from the mall
The ritual is the same, night after night
I pick up the phone, yes dial tone is there
I check the wires, all attached with great care
Its not broken, same as this morning
I confess, yes I stare at the phone over there
The phone is a functioning, I am assured
I call the weather line, yes a test but I was bored
They tell me is all sunny up over yonder
So no one calls me, of this I must ponder
I confess yes I stare, at the dark phone sitting there
Maybe the answering system parts are malfunctioning
Maybe she really did some exotic oh calling
Oh what I am saying, she’s out to the ball
While I look at telephone, alone in the hall
I confess yes I stare, I stare and stare
So another night, outside shines the bright city lights
I open the door to the darkness in fright
For oh my god, I see a blinking light
My heart beats in excitement, this is surely the night
I stare at a ringing telephone
Oh my what a delight!!!!!!!!
Click
Wrong number
Categories:
malfunctioning, england, funny, heart, longing,
Form:
Light Verse
Winter nights, the darkness comes quick
Key in door, to an empty house
Jacket falls fast right on the floor
I stare at the stand, at the telephone for sure
There she sits, alone, unmoving
No blinking light
No message at all
From a lovers voice or even a call from the mall
The ritual is the same, night after night
I pick up the phone, yes dial tone is there
I check the wires, all attached with great care
Its not broken, same as this morning
I confess, yes I stare at the phone over there
The phone is a functioning, I am assured
I call the weather line, yes a test but I was bored
They tell me is all sunny up over yonder
So no one calls me, of this I must ponder
I confess yes I stare, at the dark phone sitting there
Maybe the answering system parts are malfunctioning
Maybe she really did some exotic oh calling
Oh what I am saying, she’s out to the ball
While I look at telephone, alone in the hall
I confess yes I stare, I stare and stare
So another night, outside shines the bright city lights
I open the door to the darkness in fright
For oh my god, I see a blinking light
My heart beats in excitement, this is surely the night
I stare at a ringing telephone
Oh my what a delight!!!!!!!!
Click
Wrong number
Now I am distressed, depressed, redressed
I am at my wits end I must confess
Another evening I sit here alone
Just me and my silent old black phone
I stare a that contraption then the abscess of the night
Like all of the nights in 2014
I will sleep in a bed, with no hug or ice-cream
The pleasures of life, belong not to me
Me and my phone will never be set free
So now it’s New Years Eve, party hat and good cheer
I sit alone with my phone, to ring in the New Year
Oh the irony yes I did see
For the phone is as silent as the heart inside me
I stare at the past; I stare at the wall
Where I contemplate tossing the phone, cord and all
Then it rings, and shocks me out of my trance
2015 has arrived with a telephone call!!!!! so happy I dance!!!!
Cause this time she called, god bless romance
Happy New Year
Categories:
malfunctioning, beauty, funny, funny love,
Form:
Light Verse
On the energy waves of the eons,
Of lyric and line ever-forming,
One is injected, transported,
With all vibrations bursting
Through the human heart and mind,
The jolting edge of innovation
And every positive passion.
Even the cynic or child may sense,
When riding such a current,
The power native to humanity.
Synapses now malfunctioning
Cannot forever thwart their charge.
Mankind has the voltage needed
To mobilize all the connectors.
Categories:
malfunctioning, encouraging, faith, humanity, music,
Form:
Free verse
Once more without sleep
all dreams exhausted
Neurotransmitters on high alert
rekindling furious flames
that lap hungrily through mid-back to feet
Like a chippy chiseling wood on the lathe
I splinter and crack - screaming for regression
Just as a computer malfunctioning
I await time for reboot of my system
brief medical intervention -
some respite peace and solace
that in the whole of life
taken as one performance of the arts
it is but a musical interlude
short-lived in high anticipation of entr'acte
Terms used:-
chippy - a carpenter
solace - relief from emotional distress/source of comfort at a time
of sadness, grief or disappointment
interlude - short period of transition/break
entr'acte - between the acts
Categories:
malfunctioning, analogy, angst, body, health,
Form:
Free verse
Conversation with Cancer
What are you cancer? Help me to understand please,
An invasion of your body, a complicated disease!
Where did you come from? I really must know,
Born of a malfunctioning cell with unexplained growth!
When did you get here? Just had my mammogram,
Laid dormant undetected; my size is a Nano gram!
How did this happen? I have not been sick,
Heredity, DNA, Life-style, can cause an untimely split!
Why Me, Why now? I’m not ready for this,
Fear not, have faith, because winners never quits!!
Written By: Sarita A. Milliner © 11/13/15
Categories:
malfunctioning, cancer, confusion, emotions, encouraging,
Form:
Light Verse
I let you go I have no remorse
Your selfish actions I will not endorse
How many women have had a love demise
You're lying in bed but no compromise
Your soul is sick your heart is burnt out
No blood in your veins but a septic gout
You bled us dry depleted our finances
Gorge on our labor to the devil pay penances
You conceited arrogant malfunctioning male
Lies dropping from your lips like winters hail
Bedding the innocent and unsuspecting fawn
Your condition spread out on the world's front lawn
You said this is healing and a new beginning
But they were just words empty of feeling
You ask what it is I need you to do
Nothing since I can't trust you to be ever true
Categories:
malfunctioning, slam,
Form:
Rhyme
Fully standard man
Come straight out the can
Right into the pan
According to plan
Sports fan
Sensible sedan
Don't ask how it began
Sleepwalking man
In some kind of jam
Wonder where I am
Think it all a big scam
Malfunctioning man
February 24, 2018
Categories:
malfunctioning, humanity, metaphor,
Form:
Verse
He was born with a bushy round follicle-free head
and walks with two legs, because
he is a Neanderthal(1) mutant,
for he is a mutational product,
he is an android(2) not found in the evolutionary tree,
and that’s why he was so sad; he began to roam the surface
of the earth, he climbed up the mountains, crossed the rivers
and traveled over the expansion of fields beyond the horizon;
to soothe the sorrow of being alien
he labored to find another android similar to him;
and if he finds one, he is forced to lay her down on the ground
and sow the seeds to establish a new genealogical table;
the seeds grown to Hominidae.(3)
As time goes by his hair on his head became thinner
because the roots of his hair decayed from no follicle
and at last, he became bald;
each time a sun-ray reflects on his head
his anguish grows in the valley of misery he is trapped in
and leading his poor life. He escapes from the valley and crawls
into a cave(4) peculiar from all the other caves he’d seen so far,
and he fixed a flag.
As the wind rises the flag streams,
when the flag flutters the sky roars to pierce the ears;
then the sky falls to the ground from a gap between
the roars gushing out ashes and fires. The fire heats
to burn the stones lying here and there by the water’s edge.
When sky, earth, fire and the stones intermingled in one
it tortures the Neanderthal with the red-hot iron of death,
then, *****Sapience survived from breathing the oxygen
that Neanderthal left behind; and as day grows taller and taller
*****Sapience finds the way to preserve oxygen;
thereupon, Hominidae mixes this excess oxygen to produce
black powder with the ratio of 10KNO3 + 3S + 8C,
and stuff it into a bamboo-tube;
tomorrow therefore explodes, time stops,
the sea swallows the earth. As things come this far,
though there may be worse things waiting in the future,
the crippled time, comes with quick steps winding a malfunctioning clock.
NOTE: 1. *****Neanderthalensis and *****Sapience are different *****species, therefore, though *****Sapience Sapience is not a mutated species, but just so regarded in this poem.. 2. Android: in this poem this phrase is synonymous to synthetic organism rather than electro/mechanical robot. 3. Hominidae: this term is used as existing modern Human. 4. Francis Bacon, Idra Specus.
Categories:
malfunctioning, allegory,
Form:
Prose Poetry
Mournful melancholy makes her miserable,
Murky moods move her to morosity,
She's miffed and morbid, her mind is mourning,
Moping about in mellow melancholia,
Marred in misery, misty-eyed, she's mortified,
Melting in maddening malaise of malcontentment,
Malfunctioning malignancy has made her mean,
Melodramatic memories magnify her misfortune,
This monotonous, mundane, mirthless morning,
She's a mangled mess of merciless moaning,
A mere mortal mutilated by melancholic musings.
9th May 2023
Contest: Anatomy of Melancholy
Sponsor: Craig Cornish
Categories:
malfunctioning, cry, depression, sad,
Form:
Alliteration
Sometimes life feels permanent like the stench of liquor on alcoholics
Trapped in a monotonous existence ever searching for an escape
Because I'm sick of feeling inadequate, sick of feeling unworthy,
Sick of feeling undeserving of a life far better than the one I'm living
Everyone tries to convince me that I'm some evil chick
With an attitude straight from the underworld
I know better than that
The dissatisfaction I feel during my waking hours
Makes me long for the realms of my dreams
I can't remain in a state of hibernation so I'm left standing still
Waiting for the next emotionally crippling moment
I have no idea what to do except talk to God
But sometimes it feels like my prayers are lost in a whirlwind of many others
Whose situations are far more dire than my existential crisis
My vices are used as devices to entice me to temptations
That distract me from my own mediocrity
Blinding my eyes to the fact that I'm greater than anything I can imagine
These are the thoughts that haunt my mind
When insomnia has its way with me
Wondering about my patience and when it will kick in
Wondering when people will understand I'm doing my best
I'm a fragile girl filled to the brim with disappointment
Trying to keep my head above water
Because it feels like Katrina just blew in
And the levys are malfunctioning
Categories:
malfunctioning, angst, me, life, me,
Form:
Free verse
Bruce Wayne is not alone in hating Superman. The United States government is none too pleased with the last son of Krypton leveling large parts of a major city. Lex Luthor, a wealthy businessman and scientist, also hates Superman. Now, you probably couldn’t quite figure out why Lex Luthor hated Superman so much. Unlike Batman, he has no clear professional jealousy. In fact, in a brief aside, Luthor mentions the construction projects his company undertook after Superman wrecked Metropolis. If he had just kept his mouth shut and let Superman topple a few more buildings, he could have kept raking in the government contracts for decades to come. Instead, he spends most of the movie trying to get Batman and Superman to fight, then creates a monster in a pool of brown toilet water for no reason. I thought this guy was some kinda genius? It doesn’t make sense at first, but upon second viewing, it’s clear that Lex Luthor is actually a malfunctioning android and his moronic behavior is due to his circuits being fried. Every bizarre character choice can be chalked up to what I like to call the “Android Defense”. Something happened in Batman v Superman that doesn’t make any sense? It was probably done by a secretly malfunctioning robot
http://2013.nyccamp.org/event/chimphdhqz-watch-batman-v-superman-dawn-justice-free-full-movie-online-hd.
Categories:
malfunctioning, creation,
Form:
Free verse
Reliability is hard to come by, I hear a sigh
Product insurance is offered when you buy
Manufacturers do build obsolescence in
Sellers know you’ll be coming back again.
Product insurance is offered when you buy
The appliance is not meant to last forever,
Sellers know you’ll be coming back again
A dependency dealers are reluctant to sever.
The appliance is not meant to last forever
Malfunctioning when you need it most,
A dependency dealers are reluctant to sever
Their product is the very best, they boast.
Malfunctioning when you need it most
You are forced to buy a replacement,
Their product is the very best, they boast,
But, now it’s in a box in your basement!
You are forced to buy a replacement
With the same promises and guarantees
But, now it’s in a box in your basement,
Life is a vicious cycle of these certainties.
With the same promises and guarantees
Product insurance is offered when you buy,
Life is a vicious cycle of these certainties,
Reliability is hard to come by, I hear a sigh.
Written December 11, 2022
[Pantoum form, adapted]
Categories:
malfunctioning, business, perspective, satire,
Form:
Pantoum