Best Jed Poems
Have you ever met the troll
That lives beneath your bed?
He really is a silly chap,
His name is Mismatch Jed.
His favorite thing to do at night
Is steal one of your socks.
Then sneak back to his hidey-hole
And stash it in a box.
So when you just can’t find the match
to the sock you want to wear,
You’ll know that Mismatch Jed’s been by
…just choose a different pair.
05/02/15
Trevor Jed Engelson Unwittingly...
launched Meghan Markle into royalty
American divorcee
catapulted from “AA” to “Zed”
at break neck speed, and with cachet wed
Prince Harry, and soon
twill begetting, bestowing,
and bewitching her
chromo somal thread
(complementing, furthering, and
weaving together "Quod Erat
Demonstrandum", or QED
for short) within United Kingdom
coat of arms, perhaps
naming the first heir Ned,
and according one online
dictionary definition and ken
translates as French
(Old English) name Eadmund,
meaning rich or happy,
and protective akin
to a mother hen,
not just mollycoddling
hatchlings, but even
shelling out care
on a wing and a prayer
long after offspring
fly the coop and been
fending for themselves,
perhaps merely earning
chicken scratch wage,
assigning doomed fate,
sans cooked usage
if perchance "chick(s)"
go thru a foul stage
within their duff
fenceless hierarchy,
where pecking order doth rage
worse case scenario, would presage
finding errant peep(s)
sent to gaol,
not much bigger than a bird cage,
unless they comprise
noble henny age,
ideally taken in as a pet
by newly bridled
Duchess of Sussex
treated like totally
tubularly true blue blood
with opulent accommodations
(cheaply) tricked out
with life size Tyrannosaurus Rex
(spoiler alert: actually done
with special effe Hex
with latest computer graphics
showing rippling reptiles flex
sing and holo
graphic smoky mirrors)
intending "FAKE"
balances and checks
to boondoggle aggressive paparazzi,
one of whom includes
Meghan Markle's ex.
His mom always yelled at him,
" Get up, Jed and get to work;
move your lazy butt, sitting duck
and stop hanging out with Kim! "
" Wait, until I finish my gin, mom! " "
He sarcastically replied with a grim.
These silly words were shouted with contempt
by Jed, as he watched Kim play with reddish loam;
yuck! his lips smelled of Gordon's alcoholic drops!
" Let the horses get hungry and thirsty,
I need a minute to get up until dizziness stops,
I'll feed them hay, but they should roam
and eat pasture grass ..that's more healthy!"
" Do as I say, or your salary will be less than you expect! "
His angry mom brandishing a wood rolling pin,
" Get up and tend to the horses! " She ordered with disdain.
And stumbling on logs and branches
Jed complied by sticking out his moist tongue,
" I am as stubborn as a spoiled brat...
nobody can change me with tools and threats:
a cowboy's habits are hard to break like his image,
I comply and put on this straw hat! "
There once was a fellow named Jed
Who found oil in his old homestead
He got such a thrill
He moved to Beverly hills
Bought a house with a cement pond instead
Jed, the new husband wanted to control his wife
But failed terribly in attempting to domesticate her
and control her
She was not a willing participant or pushover
neither was Jed’s second or third wives
You cannot control women! His sisters told him.
He should have known that.
But he didn’t.
He is still looking for a compliant wife.
Potential wives four, five and six have all dumped him
None of them liked being almost-controlled either.