Best Itchy Poems
Sitting at the table, with prim and proper guests
We only started eating after the food was blest.
While chatting to the Vicar, I felt a sudden twitch
My voice started trembling, because my bum began to itch.
I wiggled on the chair, hoping to rub the itch away
It would not bloody budge, the itch had come to stay.
I poured the wine quite calmly, while wondering what to do.
The itch was now quite vicious, my mind was in a stew.
Though the itch had started slowly, it was now a raging pain
I had to scratch it quickly, or I’d go insane.
As my hand was moving downward, ready for a scratch
They made me light the candles with a ruddy match.
The meal dragged on so slowly, it seemed to take so long
And every time I tried to scratch, my timing was wrong.
But when the meal was over, the Vicar made us pray
I prayed with such intensity, the itch just went away
Categories:
itchy, confusion,
Form:
Light Verse
There once was a snitch ditched in itchy pride,
sick of being tied, to grumpy cats side~
she lured his furry tail,
trapped him in a caged tale,
she sat, blowing kisses that were denied…
Categories:
itchy, cute,
Form:
Limerick
The Nit nurse would come around once a month
To my primary school usually after lunch
We'd all queue up in a line
All the kids and friends of mine.
One by one the nurse would examine our hair
Once in a while the scruffier one's in the class
Were given a brown paper bag and letter for their mum
And told to run home fast.
You could say I was a bit slow
But it took me years before I got to know what was in that
Brown paper bag.
I never got one myself
My hair must have been in perfect health
But I don't know why but I'm suddenly beginning to itch
I swear and it's not just my hair
Do you feel itchy now too?
OOh.
Peter Dome.Copyright.2015.May.
Categories:
itchy, hair, humor, humorous, imagination,
Form:
Free verse
t started with a single itch
On the end of my nose and made it twitch
Then on one ear and in my hair
I started to itch everywhere
Ooh I scratched and scratched
Until I bled fleas were getting well fed
Ooh those varmints were getting everywhere
i started to do a dance a Rumba
And everyone stopped and stared
The pain was just too much in my pants
My credentials felt like they had been bitten by a thousand ants
I was shimmying body popping getting down
Everyone thought I was the best dancer in town.
Ooh I'm itching now are you too.
Peter Dpme.Copyright.2016.May.
Categories:
itchy, fun, funny, humor, humorous,
Form:
Free verse
We are explosive
I am breathless here
I am sick with this
He knows
There's a distance in his eyes
This uncompromising situation
As she is awakening
He will soon be wondering
For how long I will still love him
There was never love from the beginning
He knows
There's an erratic rhythm to my breathing
Cracks have started showing
From the nape of my back
Curling up my spine
Trailing towards the opening
Just a root at the beginning
A leaf for every man
Reminding me to stop
Acting so hastily
I am sick with this
I never wanted this
The coolest soul
The incredible fondness
I was only passing through
I'd said
Then the wanton intensity started to exist
I am sick with this
He knows
Shying away from me
Making himself ready
To me
He was just another
Another lover
Someone to bide my time
Until again I felt the usual feeling
Of me falling into the abyss
Me getting locked away
As she escapes
The only way if stopping memories awakening is to
Let her escape this
With her comes itchy feet
As its too exhausting keeping her asleep
I'll leave when he's asleep
Categories:
itchy, desire,
Form:
Free verse
Wow, it's a heat seeking missile
Always first to blow the whistle
Amazingly speedy on the draw
Faster than Quick Draw McGraw
No poem has the chance to linger
Not with that itchy trigger finger
Hurry, hurry, no time to wait
Gotta get out of the starting gate
But the first to cross the finish line
is always the winner, Einstein.
Categories:
itchy, perspective,
Form:
Rhyme
When the temperatures drop
And I’m bundled with clothes,
Then my skin starts to itch
Where the wind never goes.
It’s a winter event
And it happens each year,
So my lotions diminish
And then disappear.
I’m a cold weather fan
Though I wish I could hatch
A solution for this –
But I end up with scratch!
Categories:
itchy, winter,
Form:
Rhyme
Been sittin’ in this pew,
the minutes seem like hours.
And everything ‘twas said,
couldn’t tell you what’s the theme
Now I know I should be focused,
and giving all my attention
The truth... I’m so distracted,
it’s now reached quite extreme
Itchy, itchy scratch,
what could the problem be
Am I coming down with something...
the symptoms are all there
Should I stay... should I go
Don’t mean to make a scene
But as I get to be quite frantic
Everyone’s begun to stare
The preacher now has noticed
As heads begin to wag
Oh my, I’m so embarrassed
‘Cause it’s just my dumb shirt’s tag!
Categories:
itchy, childhood, funny, life,
Form:
Light Verse
If its not on the shelf we aint got it, he said
Grinning like a sphincter
And for your embarrassing problem
That is the only tincture
It is the only ointment,
To alleviate your stress
To take away the swelling
And relieve the tenderness
I know it must be itchy, and
I know you want to scratch
But there’s nothing we can do
Until we get another batch
We’ll have some in on Friday
In the meantime please refrain
From scratching it so heartily
You’ll only cause more pain
Try soaking in salt water
Let it dry off in the air
So until next Friday afternoon
Goodbye, farewell, take care
© John W Fenn 22-01-2009
Categories:
itchy, funny
Form:
Light Verse
By the bypass
Monologue
Stay put
Like a still mosaic
What is detrimental?
I am spinning 360 degrees
The whacker
Categories:
itchy, addiction,
Form:
Acrostic
a wasp jabs its sting
deep into my derriere
a butt load of itch...
too embarrassing to scratch
much too itchy to ignore
buzzing mosquitos
partial to my fast-food face
fly in for a bite...
landing ever so lightly
risking the chance of a slap
blackfly bites become
so incredibly itchy
my nails get worn down...
scratching bumps until they bleed
it is driving me crazy
Categories:
itchy, 10th grade, 9th grade,
Form:
Tanka
I have an itch that’s on my back
It’s sitting on a little patch
It’s in a place that’s hard to reach
So I can’t scratch this part of me
I have an itch I can’t ignore
This itch I have I want no more
I need someone to help me out
Give me a scratch or I will shout
You're almost there, just go up higher
Go to the left, that’s where it’s drier
Please take it down a little bit
That’s it right there you found my itch
Just like a dog with many fleas
You helped to put my itch at ease
At last, at last the itch is gone
At last, at last, I can move on!
Categories:
itchy, cheer up, hilarious,
Form:
Rhyme
Itchy Fingers?
I don’t mind dying in a nuclear war.
As long as it’s quick, not a lingering bore.
It’ll give the elite a chance to see the cloud.
Kill off the plebs in a crimson shroud.
I know their fingers are itching.
To press the oblivion button.
See what happens,
from Moscow to Sutton.
and all the places in between,
They’ll watch it from their bunkers.
All the beautiful people I mean.
The psychopaths who own us
And control our pointless lives.
We the workers who feather their hives.
So, press it Musk, Trump, Putin and all else
Hidden in your bunkers focusing on self.
Obliterate the world.
And the useless kind
You can do it to me.
I really don’t mind.
David Cox 27/02/24
Categories:
itchy, 11th grade, 12th grade,
Form:
Rhyme
Itchy bite, oh itchy bite
Swollen up and hot and red
I didn’t hear the awful whine
That fills me up with dread
Itchy bite, I’m twitchy bite
How I wish you’d go away
I’m wide awake at two am
Scratching under my duvet
Itchy bite, you b*tchy bite
Now you’ve made me cuss
I’ll find you mozzie, at dawn light
And make you bite the dust
Categories:
itchy, humor,
Form:
Rhyme
Sure you've all had an itchy back
You ask a stranger to scratch it, you act like a maniac
No... lower down you scream
Yeah, that's where I mean
You start purring and meowing like a pussycat
Categories:
itchy, fun,
Form:
Limerick