Best Itchy Poems

Sitting at the table, with prim and proper guests
We only started eating after the food was blest.
While chatting to the Vicar, I felt a sudden twitch
My voice started trembling, because my bum began to itch.

I wiggled on the chair, hoping to rub the itch away
It...

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  There once was a snitch ditched in itchy pride,
sick of being tied, to grumpy cats side~
  she lured his furry tail,
  trapped him in a caged tale,
she sat, blowing kisses that were denied…  ...

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The Nit nurse would come around once a month
To my primary school usually after lunch 
We'd all queue up in a line
All the kids and friends of mine.

One by one the nurse would examine our hair 
Once in a while the scruffier one's in the...

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We are explosive
I am breathless here
I am sick with this
He knows
There's a distance in his eyes
This uncompromising situation
As she is awakening
He will soon be wondering
For how long I will still love him
There was never love from the beginning

He knows
There's an erratic rhythm to my breathing
Cracks...

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t started with a single itch
On the end of my nose and made it twitch
Then on one ear and in my hair
I started to itch everywhere
Ooh I scratched and scratched
Until I bled fleas were getting well fed
Ooh those varmints were getting everywhere
i started to do...

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Wow, it's a heat seeking missile
Always first to blow the whistle
Amazingly speedy on the draw
Faster than Quick Draw McGraw 

No poem has the chance to linger
Not with that itchy trigger finger

Hurry, hurry,  no time to wait
Gotta get out of the starting gate
But the first...

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When the temperatures drop
And I’m bundled with clothes,
Then my skin starts to itch
Where the wind never goes.

It’s a winter event
And it happens each year,
So my lotions diminish
And then disappear.

I’m a cold weather fan
Though I wish I could hatch
A solution for this – 
But I end...

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If its not on the shelf we aint got it, he said
 Grinning like a sphincter
And for your embarrassing problem
That is the only tincture

It is the only ointment, 
To alleviate your stress
To take away the swelling
And relieve the tenderness

I know it must be itchy, and
I...

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Been sittin’ in this pew, 
the minutes seem like hours.
And everything ‘twas said, 
couldn’t tell you what’s the theme

Now I know I should be focused, 
and giving all my attention
The truth... I’m so distracted, 
it’s now reached quite extreme


Itchy, itchy scratch, 
what could the problem...

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By the bypass
Monologue
Stay put
Like a still mosaic
What is detrimental?
I am spinning 360 degrees
The whacker...

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a wasp jabs its sting
deep into my derriere
a butt load of itch...
too embarrassing to scratch
much too itchy to ignore

buzzing mosquitos
partial to my fast-food face
fly in for a bite...
landing ever so lightly
risking the chance of a slap

blackfly bites become
so incredibly itchy
my nails get worn down...
scratching bumps...

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I have an itch that’s on my back
It’s sitting on a little patch
It’s in a place that’s hard to reach
So I can’t scratch this part of me
I have an itch I can’t ignore
This itch I have I want no more
I need someone to help me...

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Itchy bite, oh itchy bite
Swollen up and hot and red
I didn’t hear the awful whine
That fills me up with dread

Itchy bite, I’m twitchy bite
How I wish you’d go away
I’m wide awake at two am
Scratching under my duvet

Itchy bite, you b*tchy bite
Now you’ve made me cuss
I’ll...

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Sure you've all had an itchy back
You ask a stranger to scratch it, you act like a maniac 
No... lower down you scream
Yeah, that's where I mean
You start purring and meowing like a pussycat...

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A flock of large birds
or a fleet of small small planes
is speeding towards me.
NO! It's worse--mosquitoes!
I failed to use repellent!

I grab my swatter.
They slap it away, laughing--
my baseball bat too.
I’ll need a tub of itch cream,
maybe a transfusion.

The females descend
to feast on me; the males...

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