Best Hydraulic Poems
Twenty fifth of December, three thousand and four
and already I'm down in the dumps
we're round at the neighbour's via tubes that save labour
propelled by some hydraulic pumps.
We've exchanged all our presents and got them unwrapped
once again I've got self-cleaning socks
the wife's Kevlar panties, though they are quite scanty
are going straight back in the box.
I'm constantly goaded to eat nuts they've downloaded
they'll try any tactic to feed ya
but the problem, I quibble is that some have been nibbled
as they're passed around on social media.
We're looking for doorways or just any more ways
to find a quick route to get out
and escape if we're able, being chased round the table
by genetically modified sprouts.
They've offered a glass of Martian Pinot noir
and they tell me it's alcohol free
so there goes my boozing and afternoon snoozing
and waking up just after tea.
Grandma kids are teasing, cryogenic freezing
means she won't wake up until noon
to find grapes in her hair and a plum, God knows where
and they've blocked up her nose with some spoons.
Don't know why they have bothered with plates that can hover
it seems so bone idle to me
they could have just handed the pudding that's landed
on the light fitting just above me.
The custard's abundant but the jug is redundant
administered now by syringe
and so is the Brandy which, though is quite handy
prevents us from having a binge.
When later we get back from fresh air and jet packs
remembering when we could walk
I'll look back fondly then to those Christmases when
we just used a knife and a fork.
November 16th 2015
For Contest 'A futuristic Christmas', sponsor Mystic Rose
Categories:
hydraulic, christmas, humor,
Form:
Rhyme
If I were an elephant I’d shave off my trunk.
Shave off my trunk! Who woulda thunk?
Cause a really long nose
reaching down to my toes
is an ostentatious piece of junk.
But wait, how the heck would I shower?
I’d need a huge hunk of hydraulic power.
to rinse the plaque
off my big back
and time-wise, it’d consume half an hour!
So I guess my trunk I’d keep.
So I could shower on the cheap
and pick up the soap
or salute the Pope
if he paraded by in his Jeep
*no contest
Categories:
hydraulic, nonsense,
Form:
Limerick
Hundreds of people passing hallways each day,
but how many times do we stop, smile, and show them the right way.
No matter the color of their skin, or the color of their hair
why can't we just all act like we care.
Why can't we all be friends, stop with the cliche
what would you say to that girl if it was her last day?
Treat everyone equally, and help those in need
not stare, or laugh but do a good deed.
Come together, make a change
help each other with our problems, don't look at someone like they are strange.
Comfort, joy, and success it is all we are striving for
so why don't we do it together and stop with the civil war.
We are all the same, we all make mistakes
so why can't we just learn from it and stop halting life with those hydraulic brakes.
Let's all be friends, and works things out
and everything will come together without a doubt.
Categories:
hydraulic, friendship, happiness, inspirational, life,
Form:
Rhyme
That is Some Hydraulic Brakes
One day at a food shop,
I met a man selling cakes,
For money he wanted to swap,
But I really wanted some hydraulic brakes.
"Got any hydraulic brakes?" asked I.
"For that's how I'll spend my money."
"No hydraulic brakes here!" said the guy.
He seemed to find it quite funny.
"We've got some lovely marbles,
I'll give you a very fine price."
"I'd rather have some barbels."
The man blinked rapidly thrice.
The man seemed exceptionally cunning,
And his manner was strangely amused.
He wasn't what I would call stunning,
The great disdain he noticeably oozed.
Like others, he thought I was odd,
Some say I'm a bit slim.
Still he gave me a courteous nod,
As if he thought I was plenty skim.
So in search of my goal I departed,
But before the food shop could I leave,
The man came running full-hearted,
"I can help you I believe."
"Cakes, hydraulic brakes, you shall find.
Marbles, barbels, you can get.
You must now open your mind,
And get down to Barker's Market.
So to Barker's Market I decided to go,
In search of the hydraulic brakes I craved.
The winds it did eerily blow.
But I felt that the day could be saved.
There were stalls selling cakes,
Apples in many shades.
There were even stalls selling rakes
People were scattered from many trades
I was greeted by a peculiar lady,
She seemed to be rather slim
I couldn't help thinking she might be quite shady.
I wondered if she was at all skim.
Before I could open my mouth,
She shouted, "For you, I have some hydraulic brakes!"
I headed towards her, to the south,
Past some marbles and cakes.
"But how did you know?" I asked,
"Do you want them or not?" she did say.
Silently, the hydraulic brakes she passed.
Then vanished before I could pay.
As I walked away I hard a crackle
Or was it, perhaps, a hushed cackle?
Categories:
hydraulic, 11th grade,
Form:
Verse
There’s gas in them there seams
So the scientists seem to think
All they have to do to get it is
Dig the holes, then sink
Sink down hydraulic drills
Force under high pressure, mixture in the cracks
All the gas then seeps upwards
And that’s what they call the fracks
Fracking is new big business
They say fracking is here to stay
Blackpool had its tower
But has the tower had its day?
When they pressure shoot the mixture
And the ground does bang and shake
As the fracks travel through the ground
Does it cause a new earthquake?
Never mind the ghost ride
Or the mouse trap racing round
With a little bit of fracking
Will it all fall down?
No more Blackpool illuminations
No more trams or central pier
When the scientists start their fracking
Will the frackers shed a tear?
They say there are no earth tremors
It does not cause new cracks
In other words poor Blackpool
The scientists don’t give a frack…
Do the politicians listen?
Do they bother what people feel or think?
You only know where moneys involved
They will let the frackers sink
With a little fracking here
and a little fracking there
The gas it rises to the top,
do they catch it in the air?
As long as they are comfortable
and they themselves suffer no lack
One thing about the politicians is,
they never give a frack…
© GG 13/08/2013
Fracking is forcing under high pressure a mixture or water sand and chemicals into the ground fracturing rock to release its gas, everywhere they try it is seems to cause earth tremors, they say there is no definitive proof but do they care when money is involved.
Blackpool suffered two quakes causing them to stop the fracking for a while but they want to start again.o my question is once more 'Who gives a frack?
Categories:
hydraulic, conflict,
Form:
Rhyme
All chocolate comes from the cacao trees
They grow best in tropical vicinities.
The tree first grew in Central America
although most of them now grow in Africa.
A portion of them also comes from Asia.
Equatorial climate proves most ideal,
so the tree has plenty of pods to reveal.
The pods on the trees contain many small beans.
These beans have to dry by the usual means.
They have to spend many hours in the sun
before any further processing is done.
Once dry, they are processed with fermentation.
They get chocolate liquor through extraction.
The beans have to be shipped to facilities
where they are scoured for all impurities.
The brown dried beans are then roasted for some time;
long enough to bring out flavor that’s sublime.
Further along in this commonplace process,
butter is extracted by hydraulic press.
They add alkali and emulsifier,
along with sugar and vanilla flavor,
to a thick consistency that would favor
pressing into molds that are briskly shaken.
Air bubbles escape; solid bars are taken
to another room for wrapping and packing.
Finished products are ready for marketing.
Categories:
hydraulic, business, food, tree, chocolate,
Form:
Rhyme
Bleach - disinfectant
fly and hairsprays
polish - air fresheners
used everyday
In our homes
without a thought
whilst the planet around us
becomes out of control
Smog from rush-hour traffic
on the urban scene
irritates the chest
but then leave what you don't see
Chlorine in the
swimming baths
our work's not done
better change them to ultra violet
Oil prices gone up
while our fossils have gone down
yet fumes burn off in furnaces
straight into the clouds
We're digging out gemstones
creating deeper mines
We've dug for years for coal
and now hydraulic fracturing - we're fracking
What of the gases
that protect our Earth
The holes just getting bigger
yet we're not being heard
We are opening Earth's crusts
increasing vehicles on our roads
using all our silver - using all our gold
whilst the Earth dies screaming
And meanwhile whilst we live
in our ignorance
Generations that follow
will have health suffer in horrendous penitence
Categories:
hydraulic, abuse, appreciation, culture, earth,
Form:
Platform breezes,
spitting rain,
red brick station,
vintage train.
Take a seat,
relax with ease.
Conductor's voice,
'Your tickets please'
Time to leave,
the whistles cry,
release of brakes,
hydraulic sigh.
Boiler stoked,
the pressure's high,
clouds of steam
feed hazy sky.
Pace increases,
prospects vast,
golden sun,
then shadows cast.
Tunnel vision,
fortunes passed,
speed illusion,
double fast.
Transport systems
side by side,
railways clatter,
waters glide.
Broken buildings
all but hide
industries that
sadly died.
Sleeping coalmines,
unforged steel,
stillness grips
the potter's wheel.
Once fired kilns
no more anneal.
Unemployment
fears turn real.
Dereliction,
overgrown.
Shattered lifestyles,
hope unsown.
City's future
lies unknown.
Lives to whet
on worn out stone.
Climb aboard the yester-train
to days of work, then back again.
S.Tideswell 2nd May 2009
Categories:
hydraulic, life, political, work
Form:
Rhyme
Hey, Horsepower’s Runnin’
Got Your Motor Hummin’
V-8 Saying Somethin’
Icy-Roads, Don Mean Nuthin’
Got Your Winterized – Protection
… A Little Fuel – Injection
Flowing Your Direction
You Big-Rig Diesel – Action !
Valvoline – Clean …
Spark – Plugs, Packing Zing !
Cylinder’s Jumpin’
Let’s Get That Gas Pumpin’
So, Don’t Just Set There Idlin’
Let’s Watch These Miles Go Flyin’
‘Cause You’re Way Past Stallin’
Hydraulic – Honey, Got You Haulin’
Categories:
hydraulic, adventure, allegory, fantasy, funny,
Form:
Light Verse
I Bought an i-Bot
My mechanical mistress came in today
Within a bicornuous box a robotic risqué
She wore a blue dress a delicious display
We danced in the moonlight a starlit sway
She kept me warm through the naked night
After disingenuous dreams, I find her upright
‘Would you like breakfast in bed noble knight?’
Yes, my lubricated lady, I’ll have eggs in white
I brought her downtown to the city’s fun fair
We got double takes as people began to stare
I noticed the wind did not lift her hydraulic hair
Maybe I had made a metal mistake buyer beware
Looking at her eyes I asked her if she had a soul
‘No silly... I’m a Celluloid X-1 Bot in cruise control’
My thoughts soon dropped through the manhole
I then decided to park my Bot at the fair and stroll.
April.13.2018
Bring to life
Sponsored by: Shadow Hamilton
Categories:
hydraulic, computer, fantasy, sad love,
Form:
Couplet
hooded cape hovers
dark shadows send thermal beams
hydraulic jets fire
Categories:
hydraulic, animals, nature
Form:
Haiku
Preacher E. Lye
He wears his white collar backwards
Piggy attenuated pagan wives’ tale
say the trigger Finger Man
has snake eyes in the back of his head
Got a gravelly-low, porcupine voice
that is cobra flatline prairie legendary
Using a lethal eighteen-wheel
hydraulic tongue roadkill,
he sermonizes with casket authority
Preacher E. Lye got one good eye,
and a black patch over his hollow socket
The last person who asked
what happened to the missing retina,
got buried
in an unmarked, dry gulch ravine pocket
Preacher E. Lye low rides
with malevolent, maverick posse power
Mister Pus Papal Evil Eye
walks double cross with uno orbital pallbearer pride ...
Hanging eulogy twine ties
from the BP church steeple belfry tower
His barrel jaw revolving lies
keep his baron territory on a fear cower
Terrified bottomless pit cries
of the weak townspeople reign hope sour
Preacher E. Lye loves to spew verbal caustic speech:
Potassium hydroxide vows
fire hot lead, full of lung roulette chambers emptied
Mister Pulpit Evil Eye, on the sulfuric snide,
preach yellow-belly worms give-it-up or die:
Collection plate extortion on the cactus side
E. coli talks with snow collar pestilent pride
Black Plague canon cloaked in blue gunsmoke attire,
Chesterfield veiled threats
got the long gun branding irons set in brimstone fire
Preacher E. Lye got one good eye,
and a black patch over his hollow socket
Bottomless pit bull preacher,
bullet lung blasting pie-in-the-sky,
got his casino hands deep in pew pockets
Lupus leper lip E. Lye
tear sow scorpion alibis,
thru his planted posse of doppelganger sons
Wil E. coyote clan cries —
dirt devils on a slithering bandito desert run
Preacher E. Lye got one good eye,
and a black patch over his hollow socket
Preacher E. Lye blows a dust tide
with malevolent, cougar bloody paw grit
Red Barren hope
flows down a cemetery canyon
White flag mope
leaves nary grave task undone
Blue metal smoke
is Preacher E. Lye’s kill clarion
Preacher E. Lye stalks the widows
with his condor one eye
Devour their body-and-soul vittles,
then bury their dead cry
Categories:
hydraulic, evil, violence, wisdom, word
Form:
Ballad
Redding Poem 1
"Oh Noisy Redding"
There at the Thunderbird Lodge in downtown Redding,
I heard the gods screaming from steel axles with rubber
Claws, scratching the timeless asphalt streets with mayhem.
I heard the sirens from the mysterious distances on Market Street,
As monster machines hovered above with roaring determinations,
And the rumblings of the trucks shook the building I slept within,
Like a raging stampede of stallions, coming through the canyons,
In search of prairie grasses and the sap of a million pine trees.
Oh noisy Redding,
You finally drift to sleep in the late hours,
But your Kansas-like silences seared my soul with your plaintive noises,
Something you could have whispered perhaps, but were not inclined to try.
Then in the wee times at vulgar five o’clock, they come asunder again!
The madness machines with roaring engines about to explode like maniacs
On hyper-drugs, make their appearances with screeching brakes,
And grinding steel nerves and hydraulic sinews made of entwined madness;
And time stops, as we wonder what monster has arisen from its grave.
Oh you, detestable ghoul from the grave, why must you scream?
There at the Thunderbird Lodge in downtown Redding,
Oh noisy restless Redding,
You belch loudly as you drink to the new day, and to the last.
Oh Noisy Redding, your maniac trains rumble and massacre the silence
As your old streets grumble like something wanting to get up and dance,
Shaking old hips, as with the tremors of the deep land, the sacred land.
Categories:
hydraulic, america, urban,
Form:
Free verse
Flesh is compulsorily subjected to several bites
with the hope of later expensive lotions of comfort.
Hard work pays but luck issues the slips
toiling and moiling for the skin to keep soiling.
Every shot towards goal hits the post,
after years of attempts, the thigh muscles wither.
Sharp teeth on weak Jaws don’t attain chewing,
the discipline of a vegan carnivore is yet not enough.
The babe is painstakingly fed with milk in abundance
but has remained a day old after several months.
A million bricks have been put together and there’s still no house,
my determination is fought back by the agents of malicious doctrines.
Windstorms lay many eggs and pain is fed
The map of destiny shrinks to erase its borders.
Pressure pushes through me like a hydraulic chamber
to create the internal impact for my eyes only.
Almost getting there and success exhibits seizures,
nature collides with humanity in a bid to come to my rescue.
Fortune throws its coins at everyone,
none falls in my lane, prosperity too dizzy to appropriate.
Earthworm bonds with salt, fish now have tattoos,
achievement keeps relocating in an eternal hide and seek.
Exhausted options abandon the mind to a torture chamber
Life is a home of unequal rooms spaced by a garden of puzzles.
Failure is a farce, dying with its tag on, is the threat,
disappointment pops the gum and continuously farts at me.
Just when death, holding the suicide key, is the only awaiting friend,
Time stands up to tick with the sound of my name.
The aisle has been rolled up for the future to walk upon,
fulfillment embraces me now, defeat has permanently lost its appetite.
Categories:
hydraulic, character, devotion, freedom, life,
Form:
Free verse
Want effective and long-lasting house plumbing? Here are few examples of the most excellent pipes for house plumbings that will last forever.
The most reliable pipes for house plumbing are ones that will persist for a long time, as well as efficiently do the job.
ABS pipes are the most reliable drainage pipes but PVC is most suitable for underground settings in commercial and industrial constructions. PVC is more heavily used in the United States, where ABS is less popular. Both work well, it all comes down to the codes and allowances of your particular region.
Water
Copper and PEX are the most suitable for the use for water services, with PEX being the most affordable by a landslide. PEX is very simple to work with and cut, as well as attach fittings too. This cuts down the price of material as well as labor time for a plumber.
Copper is more costly, and type M Copper is not permitted in all circumstances as it has thinner walls, but it can be utilized for various domestic applications. Type L copper is more easily employed for commercial and industrial settings as it has thicker walls and will last much longer.
Copper seems fabulous but needs a bit more time to operate with. The positive side of copper though is that it is a more rigorous material and is less likely to get pierced(although possible). Copper needs soldering (melting metal with a low melting point around the pipe and fitting) as well as sanding the element to guarantee it is clear of dirt and grime that necessarily builds upon the outer wall of the pipe and then implementing flux to make it more manageable for a flame to get attracted to the interior of the fitting for that watertight seal.
Cast Iron for drainage
Besides ABS and PVC for drainage pipe, you can also have cast iron pipe for your drains. These are also a more costly option for drainage (like copper is to PEX) and takes more time to work with.
This pipe also demands a bit more care to be hung from the roof as earlier discussed, it’s heavier.
When it comes to plumbing, your code is power. Whatever choice you make, be certain the hydraulic hose fittings are to code as a lot of stuff may be immediately sold, but may not be to regulations. This could lead to crashes in plumbing and accidents.
Categories:
hydraulic, abuse, allah, anti bullying,
Form:
Footle