Best Guck Poems
Where are my old white corsets
Right next to your candy cigarettes
Hey! We didn't get today's edition of 'Grit'
It's canceled. They use bad words now like 'Guck' and 'Spit'
Oh, and I can't seem to find my orange Pez dispenser
I threw it out. They've proved that Pez causes cancer
By the way, have you seen the Sunday funnies
They're a no-go, ever since they canceled 'Pogo'
You know I've got two tickets for the Brooklyn Dodgers
Ha, ha, ha! Even Sandy Koufax is just an old codger
Then I'm going cruising in my new Studebaker
--with that benchwarmer from the Minneapolis Lakers?
Before I forget, don't throw away my bottle of royal blue ink
Ball point pens been around since '38, sister, even in pink
So you shan't think me old-fashioned, I just bought a brand-new TV!
-Yeah, a nine-inch black-and-white with vacuum tubes that smile at me
But I paid for it with five million Wheaties box tops!
That's crazy... I think I'll start collecting used lemon drops...
Categories:
guck, humorous, nostalgia, sister,
Form:
Couplet
If that's what she did,
than trust me,
you're not under a lid,
she flipped it-
added pressure to admit ...
Characterization of the limitless,
shindig-less,
hard nosed,
pencil printed,
breaking of embarrassment,
getting others to care less,
but you never got to see the cherry list-
it got burned before the internet,
you should have had a little fit-
...before a big one,
and then another,
or just got a gun,
one that works hard to make you jump and run.
She's not in love with your hugs!
She's not entangled with you at all!
She's estranged to leave with mud and guck and-
maybe one nut-
but who's counting,
you're just as dumb...
Categories:
guck, appreciation, color, dark, growing
Form:
Free verse
Who knows what she thinks?
With a carryon in the bong,
we can all feel a fawn-
an elf or even a lawn,
choreograph the Kong,
won-ton the Chong...
We can all get along,
but with a wrong,
we can’t rewrite the-
without a face we can’t despite against ya.
In an ace there is a heightened –ah?
Like color of lace,
it's a mighty puck,
where it goes is the fight in ya.
With the case of the buyers luck-
the liars had struck the mired guck,
But why must they fire at all of ya?
If I’m inspired,
i’d hire ya,
rewire ta-
bake a higher ****!
Get by or duck!
Ever seen god tired?
he’d leave ya admired,
never forgets it’s the bean stock,
that makes a flock,
and its a shame to spot,
with your fingers,
fibers-
or even your hot,
so why with-stand when tomorrow is starin’ at ya?
Its gods hand that is in the pocket lock,
sheep talk,
or even a reed walk...
Hatein' it in a state of fleeing,
strumming or heating-
blind or not the eye’s are still teeming,
so common common-man get down,
that frown isn’t appealing…
Get yourself a crowd and put a sheet on the bleeding!
Categories:
guck, character, dark, daughter, deep,
Form:
Prose Poetry
TEETH
Taking a dry lick
Over the smoke stain, guck,
Mouth forced wide as parched lips permit,
I marvel at my luck
For God’s sake, I still taste!
Even with barren limbs in stark tragedy
I’ve no toothache, bite only a bit numb,
Why this infernal haste?
Over the pain I’d mumbled a prayer
To the reaper,
To Miss E.R. Nightingale,
“Take me! Not a moment spare!”
“Show in the cooing cloth
I’ve a message to whisper
Though I stumbled my way through life,
So did we, my wife, both.”
Die? Now I’m not too certain
The taste buds have returned
So, in this clammy atmosphere, antiseptic smell,
I yell,
“Bring on the soup! Open the curtain!”
Dave Austin
Categories:
guck, sick,
Form:
Free verse
Newcastle-upon-Tyne Dackel was nine
He sniffed the breeze for the traces of Rhine
In the show there was a foe
Badger was biting his toe
He whined and sent badger a valentine
Roger the badger went to Kebbit the rabbit
A sneak and scratching dick was badger's habit
And he gave the buck a ruck
Dackel's valentine guck
"We really got sucked in by this muck"
WASHINGTON POST Saturday, February 14
Fifty Shades of Grey - Valentine's Day
Badger Beauty got a card from Curious, lively, charming, and brave Droozy
Suffering from tunneling syndrome
This Dachshund may be right for you.
Categories:
guck, dog,
Form:
Verse
Santa was not having very good luck
While in a chimney his mask became stuck
He hollered and tried to yell
But it was muffled and fell
Then had to chew his mask free full of guck
12/07/2020
Contest: Santa's Covid Christmas Poetry Contest
Sponsor: Carolyn DevonShire
Syllable counts 10, 10, 7, 7, 10
Categories:
guck, christmas, humor,
Form:
Limerick
There was once a man named Mat.
He had no backbone to react.
People just walked all over him.
Mat was lookin' pretty grim..
Mat was just "flat out of luck..."
Someone just walked on him with guck!
Categories:
guck, funny
Form:
Limerick
Seven half-naked men gather around the table
For a meal that is to me only foreign
They speak in tones of joy
Tones nearly obscure to my ears
But oh, so near
My eyes avert from my glance
Picking up a dish from the sink
I scrub the grime away
The laughter grows in a masculine crescendo
And the tone is nourished into vibrancy
My curiosity is but a dull pan
Awaiting a wash and rinse
Stuck into the sticky filth of envy
I envy the joyous expression
Yet I welcome insipid depression
Happiness and content so far from me
But merely. . .across the way
No embarrassment of their exteriors
By far their lives feel superior
The language they speak is nothing to me
But tones and emotion I can never reach
Oh, how far you are
The motivation; the nourished vibrancy
From me you are clean
As the guck collects within
Somehow I cannot hide from the light of their words
The distant, alien joy
My sense of inner unity is so coy
Compared to these gathered strangers—my neighbors
The brotherhood—that I can only discreetly witness
I can only pick myself up
Like this lonely, dirty cup
And glance at the seven half-naked men
Across the way
Categories:
guck, absence, analogy, body, depression,
Form:
Ballad
Glory prizes abound
when your heart shines like the sun.
But let's not get too gushy here.
Or cheesy. Or tacky.
Let's get real: you are your own best motor,
pluggging along towards a fostering joy.
These are facts not whimsies.
(I speak of whimsies in earlier texts,
when I observed fairies clinging to your earlobes
[if you only knew!].)
it's been a warm summer day in Seattle, sure,
and yes, I HAVE been in the garden most of the day,
cleaning gutters and pulling up grass
my girlfriend isn't a fan of.
These labors lie along a path that leads
to a happiness.
The grim grime and flat-out guck,
you find it between the beauty.
You raise it up and tops it
into the big green bin,
amazed at the path you've found
right outside your doorstep.
Categories:
guck, life
Form:
Free verse
Do you squeak
Are you stuck
Been rusty for a while
Just full of guck
Need to run smoothly
Penatrate your parts
Glide with no hesitation
WD-40 is where you start
This is not an advertisment for personal use!
Categories:
guck, funny,
Form:
Rhyme
The Shoodbe-Wouldbe,Tobe-gottabe, Wannabees
By M. Griswold
11252021
Lush and moist are those Shoodbe-Wouldbees.
Sticky with choice is the Tobe-Gottabees.
Mix them together just so and what do you have.
A Shoodbe-Wouldbe-Tobe-Gottabee's quick healing salve.
Tobe used in extreme cases of sour quotations.
Doctoring them smartly of major vocal palpitations.
Butbe very careful when conjuring this talkative paste.
If concocted incorrectly, many a reverberations you will taste.
Let mebe straight and get right to the point here.
For I need tobe perfectly, perfectly, absolutly clear.
If to many Shoodbe-Wouldbees' are thrown into the mix.
And if one to many Tobe-Gottabe's are added, what happens next?
Maybe bunches of Shoodbe-Wouldbe-Tobe-Gottabee's that just tuned into Wannabees!
Whew....Then believe you me, you don't wanna see.
All those Shoodbe-Wouldbe-Tobe-Gottabee -Wannabees' run'n amuck.
Better duck your head or else you’ll get struck in all that Wannabee guck.
Wannabee guck is not lush nor moist to the touch.
It stinks to high heavens and is crusty, pretty much.
So make sure your mixtures are added up just right.
Cause there's already to many Wannabes' run'n around tonight.
Categories:
guck, humorous,
Form:
Rhyme
Soft and smooth pearl skin,
White, flawless of moon glow,
Cheeks for me to caress,
Gentle beauty to show.
A hint of rosy flesh within her cheek,
So tender, calling me to speak.
In nervous steps, eager I approach,
Eyes descend to the ground,
As closer to the beauty,
Soon to love her, my duty.
Up I looked at last,
but to hear my own gasp!
“Good day!” I spit in shock,
In too close to the changed face.
So I refrain from a stare,
But oh, t’was such a scare!
Those cheeks so gaunt,
Coated and piled of white guck,
Masking a hardly perfect visage,
Falsely illuminating that sickly green face.
Time and time again,
The world brings pain.
All of life is a deception --
Woman aren’t an exception!
Categories:
guck, angst, confusion, people, me,
Form:
Free verse
It has backwash floating in it,
But Ill still drink the muck, the guck, the grit
The spit doesnt make it much weaker, does it
There's not much left of this clear $&@$
Its in a goddamn plastic bottle too
Its the cheap stuff he tends to choose
I dont care, itll all get used
Maybe tonight, Ill meet my muse
Categories:
guck, art,
Form:
Free verse
I test the gum
And the scum
That came from
So many feet
Scrape the blood
And the crud
Between mud
Smooshed on concrete
I sample spit
Ample birds***
All with a flick
Of the wrist
Coz I’m your local
Wearing bifocal
Antisocial
Sidewalk chemist
I run a lab
And own a lab
Called Ahab
And when we walk
I grab a glut
Of cigarette butts
Ahab sniffs mutts
We rarely talk
I test the muck
Assay green yuck
Prod black guck
With tender care
Then it’s all tagged
Labeled and bagged
But I can’t drag
It to a fair
Data is sorted
Then transported
Where it’s reported
By sidewalk chemist
But the town hall
Says I have some gall
With my folderol
And I’m promptly dismissed
I’ve paid my dues
Been on the news
With great reviews
Now for an encore
I’ve been promoted
To test the foetid
And sweaty coated
Men’s locker room floor
Categories:
guck, city, fun, science,
Form:
Rhyme
The sinister witch with the gruesome green face and black hair
Was shaking her dreads and they leaked havoc in the air.
They are dripping tar and guck another witch said in despair.
I noticed also that this weird witch had the face of a mare.
Tell her! My sister, the troublemaker said on a dare.
I kept it to myself, for I am not as bad as Cher.
My sister who loves to stir up people until it’s not fair.
She got hers in the end when she was turned into a bear.
Categories:
guck, 10th grade, 11th grade,
Form:
Monorhyme