Best Gadzooks Poems
This is my poem No. Seventeen Hundred
Gadzooks, that's a boatload of poems
Think my brain would have turned to mush
Or perhaps I'd wind up in a home
Nope, it appears I'm as prolific as ever
Have delayed my downhill slide
Inevitable as it is, I'm fighting it off still
With the help of my blushing bride
Still call her honey after all these years
I refuse to let time win the battle
No matter the years or how grey I get
This dude refuses to get rattled
It doesn't hurt that I come from good stock
Seven siblings lived to seventy or more
I tend to overeat, I break all the rules
But I'm still winning the damn war
So getting back to my poems, let me know
If you notice I'm on a downhill slide
Sure wouldn't want to embarrass myself
After all, I've still got my pride
© Jack Ellison 2015
Categories:
gadzooks, anniversary, celebration,
Form:
Narrative
I'm afraid to comment on our extra warm winter
Afraid I might break the spell
This here's only between me and youse guys
From the roof tops I wanna yell
Hallelujah, gadzooks, feels like the tropics
Went out without a coat yesterday
Is this guy nuts? Has he gone totally bonkers?
Sure feels like a spring day in May
Dream on little fellow, you're delusional methinks
You're in for a brush with reality
Oh well I've heard those psychiatric institutions
Are nice with a air of tranquility
But sadly it eventually will come to an end
And I'll be all hunkered down inside
Turning the thermostat to “sizzling” again
A heat rash will redden my hide
Wrote this a year ago as we were experiencing one of the
mildest winter on record! This year... ugh!... back to normal!
Been dumped on a few times!
© Jack Ellison 2012
Categories:
gadzooks, snow,
Form:
Quatrain
Blizzards!, My Gizzards!,
This Blustering Bloke,
Keeps Mustering Mayhems With Words That He Spoke,
Great Snakes!, Eureka! and Holy Cow! Too,
Crimey! and Gadzooks! and A Tempestuous Toodle-Doo!,
Shazam! and Golly Willikers! with a Pinch of Vamoose!
Scram!, Gosh Damn!, and a Final Sacre Bleu!
Categories:
gadzooks, funny, parody, people, satire,
Form:
Zowie, yikes
And holy gadzooks!
It's that really silly
Poetry kook
Coming at you
With giggles galore
Funnies, chuckles
And so much more
A formula for sailing
Right through the day
Laugh at your troubles
It's better that way
No sense complaining
It makes you feel sad
Just think of it folks
Things really aren't bad
It could be worse
You could live in a shoe
Have dozens of kids
And animals too
No place to sit
While watching TV
Need to draw numbers
For a seat if you please
I'm a bit off the track
'Cause it's all about fun
Choose every day
To follow the sun
Really no matter
If clouds fill the sky
You can still go 'round
With a gleam in your eye
Zowie, yikes
And holy gadzooks!
Hope I've helped
Getting rid of your spooks
If just for an instant
Or just for a while
It's mission accomplished
If I've made someone smile
Categories:
gadzooks, happiness,
Form:
Quatrain
Zowie, yikes
And holy gadzooks!
It's that really silly
Poetry kook
Coming at you
With giggles galore
Funnies, chuckles
And so much more
A formula for sailing
Right through the day
Laugh at your troubles
It's better that way
No sense complaining
It makes you feel sad
Just think of it folks
Things aren't that bad
It could be worse
You could live in a shoe
Have dozens of kids
And animals too
No place to sit
While watching TV
Need to draw numbers
For a seat if you please
I'm a bit off the mark
'Cause it's all about fun
Choose every day
To follow the sun
Really no matter
If clouds fill the sky
You can still go 'round
With a gleam in your eye
Zowie, yikes
And holy gadzooks!
Hope I've helped
Getting rid of your spooks
If just for an instant
Or just for a while
It's mission accomplished
If I've made you guys smile!
© Jack Ellison 2014
Categories:
gadzooks, humorous,
Form:
Quatrain
Check out the Gadzooks
on that one
the nasty boys say
I say go to your corner
and cry
like the children you are
Come back out
when you have grown up.
Categories:
gadzooks, anti bullying, beauty,
Form:
Free verse
Was born in nineteen thirty-five
Holy Gadzooks, and I'm still alive!!!
Some beat their drum
While other succumb
No reason, just a member of the tribe
Categories:
gadzooks, life,
Form:
Limerick
Thine Pauciloquent
Gadzooks, nudiustertion,
thy widdershins wound-up swingswung has taterd
and thee cannot ride ineseness culled sunset anymore,
buntincludes a valetudinarian spirit
lamprophony tippytoppidy drop-within-thee,
thy typhlotic orb's waves an ocean,
minding a polypropylene plaited empennage
cleft to its heinie,
I will xertz vioutful sunrise drink
for intoastkneewhip is thy jentacular
and bibulously skyrolary the twilight
with a tittynope star having misticality
meldrop a tinklingtwinkle
only to awakent anew zoanthropy.
2020 August 02
Categories:
gadzooks, dream, drink, loss, meaningful,
Form:
Vogon Poetry
A smoothie barista's a thing?
Gadzooks, Batman,
why the
hype?
Fresh fruit, yogurt:
tangy,
ripe.
Ah, perfection -
that's my
type.
----------
A Zeno is 8/4/2/1/4/2/1/4/2/1, with rhyme abcdefdghd
Zeno made me think of xenotype: any of two or more variations of the same material from two or more different species. For splicing genes, a fancy title is in order; for blueberries and bananas, not so much!
Categories:
gadzooks, nonsense, silly,
Form:
Other
The things that await us just Right ‘Round the Bend;
A mighty adventure’s about to begin.
With Grizzly beside us, we’re soon out the door.
The woods, they are calling; there’s much to explore!
An overland trek to the northeastern pole,
Or to climb a great hill, or dig a deep hole!
The lizards await us, and turtles and frogs,
We’ll flip over boulders and look under logs.
Perhaps if we’re lucky, we’ll find us a snake;
We’ll leave him alone if his rattle does shake!
We’ll take off our shoes, and we’ll splash in the creek;
We’ll pack in provisions, enough for a week!
We’ll have a grand picnic, we’ll lay out a spread,
And no one will notice the dirt in the bread.
We’ll launch a high kite in a warm summer breeze,
Or lie on our backs in the shade of the trees.
We'll keep watch for dragons, it's hard, but we'll try,
'Cuz some times you spot 'em in clouds way up high.
We’ll find us some mud we can squish through our toes;
We’ll get downright filthy and mess up our clothes!
There’s so much to do there just Right ‘Round the Bend;
Gadzooks! Where’d the day go? It’s come to an end.
Big Daddy’s in trouble; he’s brought you home late.
Too tired to eat, you’re asleep at the plate!
So off to the showers, with nary a peep,
Pajamas half on, in the bed, fast asleep!
But what’s best of all about Right ‘Round the Bend
Is when we wake up, we can do it again!
----------
One of my first poems for my grandkids...
Categories:
gadzooks, adventure, grandchild,
Form:
Quatrain
He was renowned for his good looks
when I met this young man,
--at work, admittedly, gadzooks!
'Twas about four a.m.
He was one with lots on his mind
arms on the desk, leaning,
offered water, but he declined,
now face to face, smiling.
His thorn, a Hollywood idol,
a while will be a pain
hand fanned me close, his truth was told
till he boarded a plane.
Soon nineteen-eighty will then square
I know what's coming next ...
suite keys for this one-song wonder
plus for his replaced ex.
His family are known figures,
both his mom and his dad,
and his older brother, and him
too! Pointless 'Want Ad'.
Categories:
gadzooks, anger, appreciation, caregiving, character,
Form:
Rhyme
Fan Fiction
The Gospels and Acts, fan fiction for all,
Written decades after the epistles of Paul.
Paul knew nothing of Jesus’ life.
Not his birth, his miracles, his disciples or his strife.
So decades after he supposedly died,
Believers craved more backstory, applied
To the life of Jesus to make him seem,
As great as any other god’s meme.
Mark is the oldest, scholars agree.
With Matthew and Luke using a tremendous degree,
Of Mark’s tale of Jesus and we can see,
Because Greek syntax is as fluid as a language can be.
After Mark came Matthew and then came Luke.
Only fundamentalists care to rebuke.
So in reality we do not have three
In the Greek it’s plain to see.
Word for word, anyone can see,
Only hard core believers will disagree.
Matthew used ninety five percent of Mark,
And in his account, he will embark,
On adding to the tale, his own events,
Making Jesus more divine as he adds his contents.
Seventy five percent of Mark is in Luke,
And of course, some want to refute
This, but once again it’s in plain site,
Accepted by most without a fight.
Further what is seen in Gospels one and three,
Is that even more of the words in those agree.
About a quarter of Matthew and Luke’s two books,
Are only found in these two, gadzooks!
This means that Matthew and Luke,
Are mostly the same and this is no fluke.
Their goals were to add to each previous tale,
And in their goals, they did not fail.
So in the end it’s important to see,
The synoptic gospels really aren’t three.
Mimesis and additions, no matter the way,
Just make our god the best to pray
To.
And keep in mind, this is all after Paul,
Who says nothing of Jesus and Jesus’ cabal.
So in the end, for all to see,
It’s just fan fiction amongst the three.
Categories:
gadzooks, bible, christian,
Form:
Verse