Best Funnysweet Poems
Why is sweetness a target for the buggiest frights?
Sweets do attract the sweet but
honey can come with a sting.
You see, the dern ants are in the honey jar
so I had to throw out the thing!
Why is it you can’t have anything sweet without ants?
You know, I’ve never seen a nose on an ant, have you?
The sweet ones don’t run around with signs on there backs.
Do they?
Seems the buggy ones always win
or foul the honey.
Why is sweetness a target for the buggiest frights?
Children should be able to eat sweets from anyone.
But, they can’t. There’s always a nut job somewhere.
Perhaps, sweet things should evolve a sting?
You get in the honey jar and you say die of diabetes?
Unless, the sweet thing gives you the auntie dote.
Sweets do attract sweet but
at least the honey bee HAS a sting!
Things would stay sweet a lot longer without coocoonuts!
Becarefull NOT to let ants in the honey jar,
or..you’ll have to throw it ALL out!
My first sweetheart soul was extremely sweet
The sweet fact, she was sweet enough to eat
An agape valentine (a·ga·pe [aa g? pay] 3 syllables)
My beautiful Clementine
My fault, marriage not given time to seat!
My next sweetheart from the very first start
Almost evident that we would soon part
Creature from black lagoon
Must get rid of her soon
This sweet’s nagging, truly her state of art!
Most valentines are sweet enough to eat
Giving a marriage time enough to seat
You wish you had of eaten
It would save from repeat-en
Romance is treat, alas she warms you feet!
For contest: Valentine Day Limerick
For and in honor of Francine Roberts
Ma issued a decree that Pa received with very little ardor:
"A vegetable garden is needed to supplement our meager larder!"
Pa would rather spend his leisure time snoozing on the couch,
But he allowed he'd better get to work to appease the dear old grouch!
Pa hadn't been an ardent granger when a young Hoosier lad,
Laboring under the demanding oversight of his agrarian Dad!
Since his options were rather slim, he set upon tilling a patch,
And with spade, shovel and rake cleared it of its thatch.
Ma said, "I want lettuce, radishes and sweet pertaters,
Carrots, cabbages, rhubarb and beefsteak termaters.
Onions, asparagus, sweet corn and blackeyed peas,
And celery, string beans and rutabagas if you please!"
Under Ma's constant cajoling his summer looked very bleak.
He knew he had a "long row to hoe," so to speak!
Pa spent the summer planting, weeding and ever wishing,
He'd be relieved of his plight so that he could go fishing!
For seeds, plants and such they'd spent a fortune in dough,
And all that hoeing and spading had'nt helped Pa's lumbago.
Muttering beneath his breath, "Things'll be different next year;
She can plant flowers - I'll sit in the shade and enjoy a frosty beer!"
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(© All Rights Reserved)
Placed No. 4 in How Does Your Garden Grow Contest
Here by the bay
I lay and pounder
Sun rising and setting
I dream of dreams
Of knowledge of kings
Of divinity of Gods or higher beings
Of a love; sweet and gentle-
of a Female kind--If you dont mind.
Here by the bay
I lay and pounder
All day I do wonder
Here by the bay
I dream of a girl
So very sweet and totally gay!
To kiss and love
To hug and snug
To enjoy and lust
And to be comforted til dusk.
He has had a very sweet tooth all of his life
He even found himself a rather sweet wife
He’d eat cream cakes and all kinds of sweeties
Now he has high cholesterol and type 2 diabetes
Form:
When I see you, my heart glows
How I want to hold you close
And strangle you till your last breath goes
Then watch you in your sweet death throes
I smile whenever you're around
I just can't keep my feet on the ground
You voice is the single sweetest sound
When it's gurgling as you're being drowned
My feelings aren't platonic
You make me catatonic
You're all over me like bubonic
And I know the only tonic
I love the way you laugh aloud
When you're playing for a crowd
You are so fabulously endowed
But you'd look better in a shroud
You're words are kind, if rather vague
I wonder who's your favourite aide
You're more popular than the plague
And soon to be equally decayed
How I miss you when you're not near
It brings to my eye a tentative tear
That anyone should see my fear
That I'll miss again the next time you're here
I wish I could know your heart's arcanum
To further understand your sweet affection
And to know if you'd recgonise Sauvignon
Laced with the finest Black Mamba venom
When you're around, my mind is askew
You planted the seeds that steadily grew
That most wonderful feeling that's known by so few
There's not a thing I love more than my hatred for you
Dear Diary
You just aren't going to believe it,
I'm still laughing, I just can't quit..
This was my first time at this,
I hoped for some sort of atomic bliss.
He was as sweet as sweet could be,
Poor shy thing, he really liked me.
I cant forget that other bad boy,
But he just wanted another toy.
Now here I am with an adorable geek,
Manners so very mild and meek.
We both leaned in for that first kiss,
How could it be such a complete miss.
Our noses became mountains high,
"So in the way"..I heard him sigh.
Our lips did touch, but just a bit,
Because I had a laughing fit.
I couldn't wait to tell you all..
Talk to you later...I'm off to the mall...
For the Choose One contest.
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