Best Funnydrink Poems
So here is a "Story as it was told" Of a Cow who strayed across the road!
on the outskirts of a small country town. Away from the Brown's Dairy Farm,
and her little Red Barn, and the Pasture where She did Grazed.
and finding a Babbling Brook whereof she did took!
and drink to her fill, some Brew from an Old Moonshine Still?
that flowed into the stream from out of them hills!
until She was drunk and passed out and slump,
and fell there to the grown.
So Upon her Awakening and dismayed by her thinking!
She proposed to make a vow. To tell a Bizarre and most Labyrinth Taller tale!
and never to take a Cow, too a moonshine still,
and Certainly not to drink a whole gallon from a Jug again?
So Being that she was the Daughter of the towns biggest liar.
Know as Farmer Brown!
Poet: John J Myers
Copyright ©2011 John J Myers
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A corkscrew on a chilly night
To him and me a great delight
It's very cold, a sharp frost bite
We'll drink up while we're able.
It matters little what's for tea
The two of us - just him and me
Scrambled eggs - maybe we'll see
Cos' the corkscrew's on the table.
We taste and sip and drink our fill
We ramble on and on until -
The wine is cheap - there's no big bill
It says "Lidyl" on the label.
His nose gets red and his cheeks are so
I dim the lights and the candles glow
Chopin plays, it's turned down low
Please God, I hope he's stable.
Another bottle's opened up
Not as nice, it's cheaper stuff
Now I think I'll call his bluff
Though I wonder if he's able.
The moon shines in, a bright full moon
Chopin's playing his last tune
Hoping for romance quite soon
But the whole thing's like a fable.
I had to carry him to bed
In my negligee, "buzz off" he said
He weighed just like a lump of led
And I was barely able.
My valentine began to snore
I felt I couldn't take "no more"
So while he lay sleeping, I got tore
Down at my kitchen table
CHEERS !
Toast to all the Girls, who live in a whirl, of parties and nightlife and fun.
Here’s to the those girls, who wake every morn, wondering who gave her the bun.
Scholl to likely lads, who think they’re real BAD, and can pull any girl on her own.
Prost to every man who’s, pushing a pram, thinking he’s pushing his own.
L’chaim to the chaps, who make Vodka and Schnapps, and make it so easy to sin.
Bottoms up to the men, who still sell it when, their customers mind has gone dim.
Chin Chin to the drinkers, long tall and short, who never know when to say stop.
Applause to the ones, who now know how it’s done, and drink to the very last drop.
Strong drink is raging, although it’s engaging, and wine is a mocker it’s true.
And whiskey divides, the fool from the wise, and is useful for cleaning the loo.
The effects of the drink, will cause you to sink, much lower than you want or need.
So take my advice, please refrain and be nice, your better off sticking with weed.
As a new year is upon us, we gleam with such excite;
Many parties and celebrations will be going on,
I think the mailman lost my invites.
Looks like I'll celebrating alone this year;
and toasting to the occasion,
One drink for me, one for humanity,
For drinking I need no persuasion.
I'll count back from ten and watch the ball drop;
toast and give a shout,
What the hell, I'll have another;
And drink til the brandy runs out.
Celebrating a new year, ringing with bliss,
being alone doesn't have to spoil it;
I just hope tomorrow doesn't find me,
crouched over hugging the toilet.
The Stoned Again Blues
[Let me begin by apologizing for the ‘Political Incorrectness’ of this little song… You
see, I was a teenager in the 70’s, a drug addict in the 80’s, and this was written
when Reagan was in the White House, and, well…it seemed like a good idea at the
time! I wrote it on my 12-string guitar, and if I can remember them, I’ll post a
version with the chords filled in…it really is a bouncy little tune!]
I smoked a joint for breakfast, had Bacardi and juice for brunch
I treated myself to some LSD for an early afternoon lunch
Supper consisted of lots of marijuana and a little bit of Chivas on ice
My diet may not be nutritional but it sure makes me feel nice
So come on sing along the stoned again blues
It’s the easiest thing that you’ll ever do
You just smoke what I smoke, drink what I drink yeah and take what I take too
Yes and pretty soon you’ll be stoned again too
A couple of my old friends happened by my way
They walked right in and they sat right down and said what’ll we do today
Well I grabbed my bottle, my trusty bag and a handful of my pills
I said, “ I don’t care what we do I’m just in it for the thrills”
So come on sing along the stoned again blues
It’s the easiest thing that you’ll ever do
You just smoke what I smoke, drink what I drink yeah and take what I take too
Yes and pretty soon you’ll be stoned again too
Well I went to Washington the other day, to talk to Mr. R
I said, “Ronnie what we really need to do is take the whole world to a bar
After a couple of drinks, a little bit of smoke, we’ll all be feeling fine
And I think you’ll find the whole damn world’s in a better state of mind!”
So come on sing along the stoned again blues
It’s the easiest thing that you’ll ever do
You just smoke what I smoke, drink what I drink yeah and take what I take too
Yes and pretty soon you’ll be stoned again too
Yeah come on sing along the stoned again blues
It’s the easiest thing that you’ll ever do
You just smoke what I smoke, drink what I drink yeah and take what I take too
Yes and pretty soon you’ll be singing “The Stoned Again Blues”
1: Do you wish to drink some tea before we sail?
2:You don't drink, your a boat.
1:I just want to drink farewell
2:All right here's your tea I'll spill it on your deck.
1: Tasted Lovely.
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