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Best Full Monty Poems | Poetry

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New Full Monty Poems

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THE FULL MONTY by Ashton, Darryl
I wished full Monty by CHAKRABARTY, RAJAT KANTI

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The Best Full Monty Poems

Details | Full Monty Poem |

Catch Phrase Reunion

Catch phrase’s class reunion day
All showed up to have their say…….

Willy Nilly was married to Hold your horses
 Met during a PE class on the obstacle courses
Sorry Charlie always had a crush on Get a clue
But she fell for another, Give the devil his due

What the Sam hill and A day Late and a dollar short
Had the biggest battle ever seen on Divorce Court.

Totally, Radical, and Righteous all best of friends
Married to Bodacious, Groovy and You Da Man

Cool Beans was single and still living with mom
Brought his young girlfriend her name was Da Bomb

Two sheets to the wind asked Lord willing to dance
While The full Monty made out with Half a chance

Look what the cat drug in was late but nothing new
Sauntering in with her new squeeze, called Cat man doo

Dig it got a little fresh with Talk to the hand
And his wife What Ever she just left with the band

Better you than me came looking for Mind your Ps and Qs
But ended up leaving with the famous twins “It takes two”

Take a picture it will last longer captures the moments
While Read all about it goes around asking for comments

A cold day in Hell final came but no one was there to see 
They all went over to For Heaven Sakes house for a cuppa’ a tea
The end……

Details | Full Monty Poem |

Kinky Monty

Now ladies and gents, let's bring no offense
to the lads that wear tightly clad drabs
They liked the film Kinky Boots
And have watched The Full Monty
So now they dance naked and/or dress drag!

Details | Full Monty Poem |

to fly a sky

to fly a plane such an ordeal
I was checked my hands a potential weapon
and dogs to smell mine
and on a return i told them you much harsher giving the full monty
like I hide a gun in my tee shirt but the dog could be explosive 
want to check is anus eight pound of love you must be joking
as he have two chips on its shoulders you'r blowing my mind
and safe travel who they are kidding not me.

Details | Full Monty Poem |

I wished full Monty

I found as apport
A Monty’s tail
I wished full Monty

Details | Full Monty Poem |

THE FULL MONTY

With many great classics
now bringing to us,
A feast of delight on TV,
Dickens and Hardy and
Tolstoy et al,
Are such a great pleasure
to see.


For Modernists, too, we
have John Le Carre,
Mantel and Georges 
Simenon.
(The latter with Rowan,
that Bean chap,
His look of insanity gone!)


It seems, though, that
Poldark, an old favourite,
Is setting a trend rather
novel.
As quite a few heroes are
shedding their shirts,
And leaving the ladies to
grovel.


'Night Manager,' Tom 
(who's the next Bond
they say),
Also appears rather 
cheeky.
And what of that chap
who was in War And
Peace
Who flashed a bit - 
though he looked peaky!


(At least in Wolf Hall, 
the lascivious stuff,
Was not quite so openly
stark.
As ladies who viewed,
whether happy or not,
Couldn't see much in
the dark!)


So what's going on with
this obsessive thing.
Of actors displaying their
flesh?
Sometimes in flagrante,
and others when they're,
Scything like mad as
they thresh.


It's all very well when
the weather is warm
To act in such ways
epidermal.
But in snowy scenes
when its 40 below,
One should opt for
something quite thermal.


Who next might we see
on this erotic theme?
Some of our quizzing bright
sparks?
Like Jeremy Paxman on 
Uni-Challenge
In his baggy undies from
Marks?


Or old Simon Cowell who
likes to display,
A generous view of bare
chest.
Which isn't X-rated, but
given the chance
He might start to expose
the rest!


Will classics in future
continue this fad,
Like Austen and the
sisters Bronte?
Will we watch their
characters sitting
about,
In nothing but just
the full Monty?


BY
DARRYL ASHTON

Details | Full Monty Poem |

Love Came Down Through Marriage

M-e and you agree to this union of Holy M-atrimony.
A-ll you need to know is I will always A-dore you.
R-egardless what happens we will have a healthy R-elationship.
R-emember all birthdays and anniversaries or you'll R-egret it.
I-n all ways, I will always show how I-mportant you are to me.
A-ll my A-ttention in the world you have.
G-ive of yourself freely, G-oing the full monty.
E-ach person makes E-veryday count.