Best Fantasymen Poems
Oh kelpie with your dripping mane
seducing valiant men of heart,
who by your spell would all be swain
and every sense in them, depart.
Why weep you by the loch and tide?
What brought you from your kelpie depth?
Sure no desire is kept aside
from your cold, illusory breath.
No longer do you haunt the bank,
but mourn a clever witch of wile
from whose enchanted cup you drank,
now captive to her charm and guile.
She'll bid you work a hundred years
in slavery chains for nigh
'til kelpie legend disappears
for proper penance, hue and cry.
*In Scottish folklore, a kelpie is a malevolent water spirit in the form of a horse.
Kelpies were believed to inhabit lochs and rivers, and to lure men to their watery graves
by transforming into beautiful women, once drowned the kelpie would then eat the victim.
The kelpie of this poem was the victim of a love enchantment, eagerly agreeing to a
lovesick life of slavery for penance of past misdeeds. Ha, whoever heard of a repentant, lovesick kelpie?
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
Humpty Dumpty was having a ball!
Got too excited and took a bad fall.
So all the Kings horses and all the Kings men,
considered scrambled eggs for breakfast again...
But suddenly, from across the Way,
Chicken came running and shouted HEY!
Stop you crazy men there,
that's my Uncle's empty chair!
What kind of non-sense is in the air?
You can't have eggs scrambled,
you can't have eggs green,
my Uncle isn't breakfast!
Where HAS your mind been?
No show! Said the Cat, who seconds that!
Running behind almost losing his Hat...
Where have you been? This is really obscene.
I insist that Humpty be fixed by Bat!
Brilliant said the Egg, who returned to the road.
I'll hail the CAB, you gather the load...
A fix is all that's needed right here...
Bat will mend Uncle, said Chicken's cheer.
Meanwhile and back at the Wall,
where Humpty lay, shattered by the fall...
All the Kings horses and all the Kings men,
gave thought to themselves and a time back when
they cared enough to try again..."
. . . . . . . . . . . . .
And the Magician watched from across the road,
Her heart broken from the spill of that load.
The help was on and the spectators cheerful...
But the Kings men almost seem tearful.
"They've forgotten their Way...
and with light in their eyes,
it was clear as day."
. . . . . . . . . . . . .
The cane came down across His Hat...
Just in case, She second that...
Humpty's reconstruction an important Act.
A tough road for that Chick & Cat...
The CAB enroute, brings Humpty to Bat.