Best Facetious Poems
There is a solace in his silence, a servant of his solitudes,
As he comforts in compliance, a jester to the multitudes…
He stands alone a neophyte, struggling within his confines,
Actions that do excite, impugnable inhibition when he signs.
Master of the satirical sad, a foreordained flounder of many,
Like a narcotized nomad, wandering wills a penniless plenty…
A calamitous circus in mind, his heart exposed in the limelight,
Dolorous detentions unkind, amidst filling his formidable finite.
A bombarding bombast, with words falling to the desolate deep,
Sailing with a maudlin mast, wearing a facetious frown as to weep…
Layered with lecherous lashes, upon wounding the sacrificial soul,
His anguish turns to ashes, within continuation of his dramatic role.
A buffoon protected by providence, metamorphic minstrel of laugh,
Lacking in canopied confidence, recklessly writing his eternal epitaph…
As he mimes until the morrows, living amongst a false fading reality,
With a smolder to his sorrows, court jesting as a nilpotent nobody.
Feb.28.2020
Repost From May 23, 2019
Clown at the Abyss
Sponsored by: Kai Michael Neumann
Placed 7'th...Thank You
Categories:
facetious, angst, character, conflict,
Form:
Rhyme
Axe the old Don, a trump peter n piper
of incredulous hellish crud - be gone
ha air brushed pompous ****
Sunkist in Macy's window
then like a jackal hound, he doth run
after public outcry yelps
for his hide leaving
proletarian discord re: pyrrhic victory won.
Donald Duck Trump ™$ - a pompous ass
makes war with his big brass
knuckles and bucket of crass
maligns vis a vis character assassination
while kissing thing kith
darting forked tongue sharp as bro kin glass
inciting banal deathly hallowed
expletives toward lass
sees – especially Fox Television
news anchor woman Megyn Kelly
(quite so many ill mannered indiscretions ago)
inducing said personality
to bear the brunt of brutish mass
of vitriolic n vile insults sacrilegiously
maliciously, noxiously, opprobiously
incriminating, hellaciously,
desecrating opportunistically as hiss oh piss
so…NO amp pull VOTE of confidence from me
(thus far ohm host halfway to 2020 election
toward such a volt char quite rude, snooty
arrogant simian with sass.
I van (terribly hard pressed)
to describe while sitting on me rump
how he oh bomb in lee rages
gnashing false teeth
Wilma backside doth slump
still blasting Democratic nomination
(pa hill a reed) as sham –
from special interest bro and sis turn pump
he, the epitome of
crass bloviation, a malignant lump
whose rants,
sans presidential outcome a shame
bullying with his millions beds this,
that and another woman to bareback jump
disseminating gene pool
birthing more Quakers
and additionally doth hump
the mass media as some foolhardy charade
and caricature of a frazzled grump
this arboreal clothed ape erected Taj Mahal
phallic symbol, where players dump
and gamble away hard earn cash
for his kitty, as if that cachet
to grind and bump
lambasting with maniacal
like "Stormy Dan" yells
leering oafish ill pout
while hair rum
(of red follicular) bulls ad hocks
atop his bulbous aerosol sprayed locks
resemble a flock
of bronzed sea gulls mocks
heady measly shaped Muppet Ox
dis eased cranial hologram shocks
of a cretaceous, facetious tocks
(sic) exogenous, insidious, and obstreperous vox.
Categories:
facetious, 12th grade, abuse, anger,
Form:
Imagism
Softly
Sweetly
Caressing my soul
Silently, I shudder
I am blinded
By the sun in my eyes
As I look at you
And what is it I see
An old friend
A stranger
Funny, I can't recall
And, oh, that smile
Facetious
Knowing
So gentle
I think that you
May just be
A part of me
Soft lips
So tender against my skin
And we are love
Making love
In love
Bodies connecting
Belonging
Becoming one
Categories:
facetious, love
Form:
Free verse
The ambiance of beautiful love,
cannot be erased by trash talk.
Tis the feast and forte of a peasants' walk.
Were you actually there that spring night?
Whence cometh your facetious insight?
To put to death, a lover's joyous quest?
Joyful depths of her reality, she hath shared
with thee!
Where soft secrets were shared, of these your
mind is bare!
Thus remove your dagger from her bleeding heart,
so tender, divinely rare!
And from her honest thoughts, expect no more.
Outcast, thou be from her intimate soul, forevermore!
12/13/2020
Categories:
facetious, betrayal,
Form:
Couplet
Remember my words of wisdom today,
For i plead for your sanity to stay,
Being in love means unlimited boundries,
Excruciating pain yet ultimate surrender,
Forgive me for what i am about to say,
Yet a warning i must give you today,
Your friendship to him is important i know,
but his love is unconditional . . . this i don't know,
Beware the facetious tricks he endeavours,
Hark his flooding emotions in turmoil,
Let me not preach your unravelling,
However your plight renders me speechless
His actions belie his each word,
And his perfomances leave me appalled
Categories:
facetious, sister, me, love, me,
Form:
Blank verse
Storms of the soul invade my perception
Yearning for a personal resurrection.
Fragmented emotions dangle from each new face
Leaving me in an empty place.
Fires once ignited grow rapidly dim
Because of the sin that dwells within.
Phantom lovers drift in and out
Claiming to know what love is all about.
`Bruised an rejected
Far from perfected.
Injected with madness
To drown out this sadness.
Lost yesterday’s lead into my tomorrows
While the voice of reason drowns out this sorrow.
Abandoned in a land famished and dry
The absence of water restricts my eyes to cry.
Violent assaults protrude at my mind
Only in sweet silence will my heart ever shine.
All of these voices demand my attention
It’s as if they reserved for me a reputable pension.
Roads of confusion are filled with delusion
Seducing our solders while leaving them colder
How do you get out of web spun for fun?
It’s only by mercy, it’s only by one
Armies of darkness capture each being
Claiming ownership over all that we are seeing
Facetious attempts to keep our men bent
But as they grow closer the angels are sent.
Once on the field they will not relent
There is grace for all those that gladly repent.
Victory smells like a clear spring day
When colors of dismay quickly fade away
Pillars of flames light up the clear night
And the fights you’ve been fighting suddenly grows light
For battles were never meant to be fought on our own
In the mist of all chaos we can hear heavens song.
By: Sabina Nicole
Categories:
facetious, faith, life, slam, spoken
Form:
Rhyme
The odor I get The more pungent I get, in a sense incensed but not fowl Not like a fishy can of sardonic or the stink emanating from the open sarcasm, more like, when in aroma Do as the Romans do Dude pulling rank, so do not be, so fusty Flatulent you know, just blowing wind You say, that discharge was a flagrant offense I say, facetious I did it for giggles I think it funny, while you thought it was absurd an obnoxious art You thought it stunk, while I thought it fragrant and pungent
Categories:
facetious, funny, humorous, hyperbole, irony,
Form:
Free verse
I'm Leo the Lion, I am, I am
From the mystical world of the Astrology
I'm generous, strong and warmhearted
That's if you believe in symbology
Not making this up, check it out
Masculine, positive and extroverted
If I listen too carefully, my head will swell
Which should definitely be averted
My wife suggested widening the doorways
Or I might severely injure my brain
Methinks my honey's being a bit facetious
But I love her a bunch just the same
I'm Leo the Lion, I am, I am
Just a fun loving guy who enjoys life
They also say I'm very broad-minded
Love broads but don't tell my wife!
© Jack Ellison 2014
Categories:
facetious, humorous, image,
Form:
Quatrain
Of all the minin' camps in old Colorady, the town of Tin Cup was truly,
With all its gamblin' halls, brothels and sleazy saloons the most unruly!
'Tis said that Jim Taylor dipped his tin cup in the 'crick' to take a sip,
And found gold in the bottom of his cup even before liftin' it to his lip!
The rush was on and in 1880 the rowdy town of Virginia City sprung up!
In 1882, assorted drunks and ne'er-do-wells insisted on namin' it Tin Cup!
Stakes were claimed, shovels flew and ore was packed out to railheads.
Men who worked in 'ore houses' were the butt of jokes by facetious heads!
By 1881 there were 6000 denizens and over twenty saloons in the town.
Gamblers met at Frenchy's Place and they controlled ever'thing aroun'!
Marshals were told, "see, hear and do nothin' or yer first arrest will be yer last!"
One quit, two were fired, three were shot, one went insane leavin' the town aghast!
For those who died gloriously or otherwise from flamin' guns and billowin' smoke,
Boot Hill Cemetery was established south of town to plant many a hapless bloke!
Raucous prospectors spent their 'dust' on booze and 'soiled doves' in their cribs.
Others got uproariously drunk and awoke with busted heads and shattered ribs!
In its heyday, Tin Cup produced millions of dollars in choice Rocky Mountain gold.
The last mine, the Gold Cup, closed in 1917 spellin' disaster and the town did fold.
Alas, today 'tis a ghost town with curious tourists and sagebrush driftin' about.
The ripplin' streams teem, not with gold nuggets, but with fightin' rainbow trout!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Categories:
facetious, funny, history
Form:
Rhyme
THINGS I DON’T UNDERSTAND *
First the facetious stuff then the seriously bad *
Moralizing punch line which I usually do add.
Don’t understand difference between horse and pony.
Don’t understand languages like Gaelic or Shoshone,
All sound and look pretty much the same.
Why do some folks get excited about football game
And other folks get wild about fashion clothing
While I regard both with loathing?
Don’t get it when a rich guy walks past a poor
And doesn’t even notice him standing in the door.
Or when evening news shows unwanted puppy rescued
While millions are lonely, homeless, dole-queued.
Must be my lack of proper education and sensibilities
But when I meet old ladies living under shopping trolleys
My instinct is to equalize the difference ‘tween us
Sell my limousine and chauffeur and take a bus.
I reckon that my ignorance and ill-education’s
Why I never learned to behave properly in such situations.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . .. . .. . . . . . . . .. .
* Title was given to me by Nancy Jones ( Nancy with the laughing eyes)
* “Bad” means “good” in Mohammed Ali’s vocab, so that’s good enough for me.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Categories:
facetious, confusion, education,
Form:
Couplet
We all want to have the perfect shape, the media
Are at fault, they use the young as their tool,
Making some gents and ladies look like a fool,
Whether young and feisty or facetious and bold,
Or middle aged with a tummy that can’t help but fold,
Maybe trendy, adventurous, getting a little old
The mirror in horror tells us, we need to diet a lot,
Or join the army of the overweight and be forgot.
There are there those that take notice of the media
And those who don’t, and those that don’t have to care,
They look good all the time whatever they wear.
Then on the next advertisement on the highway,
A Wimpy advert as large as life,
Two waffles for the price of one, syrup, loads of cream,
Some do resist, but for many of us a delicious dream,
Does our will power and choice not come into play,
We visit Wimpy today, and tomorrow is another day,
What the heck, we only live once, we are tempted,
How many times a diet have we attempted,
We give in, our husband admires a slim gal,
Our wife flirts with her boss,
So, eat to live and not live to eat,
We should look at a waffle as a reward, a fine treat,
And look in the mirror and feel proud of our shape,
From the grip of the media we therefore escape,
'I'm heading home to my love, an absolute dish!'
Categories:
facetious, day,
Form:
Free verse
The ancestral house seemed smaller, today seen with eye glasses
The pathway seemed shorter, the mangoes grow loftier
It was once open field across the hill
Mushrooming subdivisions had blossomed
The little flower orchard had vanished
But anyhow we felt it would still be remembered
Harrowingly different, but pretty much the same
There was an unfamiliar children’s “bahay-bahayan”
On that path that we arranged
In front of that sagging waiting shed that stands
Beside the curve, where the old Mango tree grew
Surprisingly, forty years folded one summer day
And hurriedly become a springtime of our memory
of many growing trees, of many festivities
a spot where I wept one night after my mother died
and spent longer, in starry-starry nights holding newborn offspring
Yes....it is all there, in that small ancestral home
Facetious, but I'm glad they kept the wooden parrot
It has the same green eyes
That big black statue of St. Roque, along a stony pathway that we laid
still sits behind the curve, where the old mango tree grew
Categories:
facetious, beauty, voice, weather, work,
Form:
Pastoral
I'm too tired to write this poem
with meaningless words and
clauses. Showy, proper diction
feigned through years of misuse
I am too tired to think up
the crypt - some long standing
metaphor - with its stained-glass
transparency?/obscurity?/opacity?
I am too hot in this room
to describe the way the heat
takes me back
to the years I never spent in
Georgia
I am too itchy from bug bites
to liken my skin to a rug
;
too swollen with pride
to let a facetious poem like this
out of its shell. Out where it can
breathe and be real.
;
I am too scared to say what
I really mean - and too callow to see
a discrepancy
Categories:
facetious, on writing and words,
Form:
I'm Leo the Lion, I am, I am
From the mystical world of the Astrology
I'm generous, strong and warmhearted
That's if you believe in symbology
Not making this up, check it out
Masculine, positive and extroverted
If I listen too carefully, my head will swell
Which should definitely be averted
My wife suggested widening the doorways
Or I might severely injure my brain
Methinks my honey's being a bit facetious
But I love her a bunch just the same
I'm Leo the Lion, I am, I am
Just a fun loving guy who enjoys life
They also say I'm very broad-minded
Love broads but don't tell my wife!
Categories:
facetious, funny,
Form:
Quatrain
There is a solace in his silence, a servant of his solitudes,
As he comforts in compliance, a jester to the multitudes…
He stands alone a neophyte, struggling within his confines,
Actions that do excite, impugnable inhibition when he signs.
Master of the satirical sad, a foreordained flounder of many,
Like a narcotized nomad, wandering wills a penniless plenty…
A calamitous circus in mind, his heart exposed in the limelight,
Dolorous detentions unkind, amidst filling his formidable finite.
A bombarding bombast, with words falling to the desolate deep,
Sailing with a maudlin mast, wearing a facetious frown as to weep…
Layered with lecherous lashes, upon wounding the sacrificial soul,
His anguish turns to ashes, within continuation of his dramatic role.
A buffoon protected by providence, metamorphic minstrel of laugh,
Lacking in canopied confidence, recklessly writing his eternal epitaph…
As he mimes until the morrows, living amongst a false fading reality,
With a smolder to his sorrows, court jesting as a nilpotent nobody.
~~~
First Released: May 23, 2019
Repost: Nov 18, 2019
Writing Challenge 2, November - A Poem Meaningful
Sponsored by: Dear Heart - Wiishkobi Ode
Placed 1'st...Thank You
Categories:
facetious, anxiety, conflict, emotions,
Form:
Rhyme