Best Exaggerations Poems
Round and round, around we go
Another speech, another show
Lies, half truths, exaggerations
Blue blooded cowboys toppling nations
Drunk with power, blind to the past
Corrupted by greed, right down to the last
"We fight for a people, they yearn to be free"
So clearly untrue, I must disagree
So righteous, so noble. Protecting the weak
Black blood of the earth is all that they seek
With such words I'm a "traitor", They're quick to condemn
Destroying our nation, the traitors are them
We try to have faith, though they've taken our voice
What good is a vote, when given no choice
Now our people divided, our country is torn
When hope is forgotten, revolutions are born.
Categories:
exaggerations, angst,
Form:
Rhyme
Oh! I wish I could spell “weirdo”! It really bothers me.
Is it the “e” before the “i”, or the “i” before the “e”?
Now, if it was a German word, I wouldn’t have to try.
I know “ie” is always eee, and “ei”’s always eye.
It doesn’t have a Latin root, so that rule won’t apply …
It really has no hook at all that I can grab it by.
Yes! It’s good old Anglo-Saxon, full of grunts and mangled vowels.
They didn’t have to write it- they’d communicate with scowls.
No! I really can’t spell “weirdo”! Not to write, or speak, or sing …
So the only answer I can find is ... don’t use the bloomin’ thing!
...........................................................................................................
This problem cropped up when I wrote"Mum's Advice Ignored" ...
I'm usually quite a good speller!
Entered in Susan Burch's contest, "Ridiculous Self- exaggerations"
Categories:
exaggerations, confusion, funny, on writing
Form:
Couplet
Since the time I was wearing a bib,
I was wise to the guys. That’s no fib!
“Hey, Baby,” I’d say,
“Come on over and play.
You just meet me tonight in my crib!”
And while most kids were learning to poo,
I was thinking up poems by age two.
I could coo a sweet verse
With no need to rehearse
Saying things like, “I’m gaga for you.”
I was writing my lines by age three
And creating sublime poetry.
First boys and then men
I caught with my pen.
LADY Gaga of verse now: that’s me!
For Susan Burch's
Ridiculous Self Exaggerations Poetry Contest
And now for PD's anything Goes!!!
Categories:
exaggerations, funny, age, age,
Form:
Limerick
Hemingway’s famous “Old Man and the Sea”
Simply couldn’t hold a candle to me
I caught Ahab’s great white whale
Did some surfing on his tail
Made him jump through hoops ‘fore I set him free
In Scotland I gave Nessie a big scare
As with my huge net, the beast I did snare
I held on as Nessie tugged
Then set her free as I shrugged
To tell the truth, Nessie hadn’t a prayer
And now I’ve set my sights on the Kraken
Oh yes, I’m more than a fishing bumpkin
And so for Norway I sail
To prove women aren’t frail
This giant squid is simply a munchkin
.
Written for Susan’s “Ridiculous Self-Exaggerations” contest
*Last line is the metaphor
Categories:
exaggerations, funny, sea,
Form:
Limerick
It hangs right down below my knees,
And ladies beg, ‘ Let’s try it, please.’
They’ve never handled such a whopper
As that, my super massive chopper.
Ridiculous exaggerations about the size of my axe, of course!
For Susan’s contest
Hope no one's offended by this...
Categories:
exaggerations, fantasy,
Form:
Rhyme
EPISTLE TO BILLY SHAKESPEARE
An epistle to Billy Shakespeare:
Dear erstwhile bard of Avon,
Greetings to you from
The bamboozled, browsing
Bibliographies, bound
by the bloodlust, ]
Passions so flawed,
Exaggerations,
Literary inventions,
to contradictions,
Legions of legends,
Perennial prose,
constellations, creations
Tragic heroes
and drama queens.
Dear Billy Shakespeare,
Thanks so much not,
Signed,
Long suffering teens!!!!
Categories:
exaggerations, allusion, angst, confusion, culture,
Form:
Blank verse
One
day I
thought I would
boil some eggs so
I put them on the
stove on high heat, being
the impatient lass I am.
I got distracted in the yard.
The eggs blew up and the pan almost
melted. That’s why my husband is the cook!
For Susan Burch's Contest "Ridiculous Self Exaggerations"
Categories:
exaggerations, food, funny, natural disasters,
Form:
Etheree
Hand-me-down myths,
like ancient monoliths,
clan's fondest memories
by nostalgia embellished;
larger-than-life sagas,
truer-than-truth legends,
hyperbolic narrations
of happy exaggerations;
that's ancestral history,
coloring one's genealogy,
seeping, coursing down
bloodlines, tribal milestones,
its gravitational whirl stirs
generations' imagination,
east, west, north, south
through word of mouth!
Categories:
exaggerations, family, seasons, time,
Form:
Free verse
My Dog Paxton
Where cedars rust the road
And maples mat the margin
I walk with dogs.
Pluto, Sasha and, old Paxton,
Dead the last and he the lead
Wherever we go by trails of scent.
Bossy he, the border collie cross.
Faces the wind that rustles the leaves
Paces reflections that ripple the puddles
Black and white, there be no cuddles
For him, the alpha dog of sturdy jaw
No scratching of his head, that’s his law.
He will mouth the arm firmly of he who tries.
He is a dead dog that never lies.
Pluto and Sasha seek attention
Look to me, to give direction
Always begging for affection.
Paxton has no demands but to leave him alone
He offers me the friendship of a crystal gazing stone
Where I can sometimes see myself.
He always keeps his sovereignty,
He never stoops to become my servant.
The friendship and mystery of a full moon
With a reserved intimacy
And no exaggerations:
He licks neither my knees nor hand
And chooses which words to understand.
He never invades my clothes with his snout
Or rolls into bed like the others
His confident eyes show a sweet caring for me
A loyalty reserved only for a friend,
In a silent life never demanding.
When he died I planted a cedar tree over his bones
And from that tree we start our walks
Even now, where the cedars rust the road.
Categories:
exaggerations, animal, feelings,
Form:
Free verse
In Love With a Poetess
_____________________________________
I'm in love with a poetess/
Her words choke my feelings
Lifting me up to the ceilings
The thicker her words,
The faster my emotions move upward
She metaphorically strategize my heart
Turn my love into imagery like art
Exaggerations tearing me apart
_________________________________________
Totally disorder in my vain
Leaving me with nothing to gain
Breathing no longer take place in
The respiratory system
Rather on the tongue
My life on the edge of the rung//
__________________________________
I'm in love with a poetess/
She believes in pen and paper
My thoughts move off her head like vapor
Maybe my feelings are just wallpapers
Not meant to be taken serious
Her emotion lies in her pen
__________________________________________
She only speak in poetic devices
Tearing my heart into pieces
Her inking differ from my thinking
I think mine is shrinking
My feelings are beautifully sinking
And my love is winking
At her smiles
Using pun to play on my love//
_____________________________________________
I'm in love with a poetess/
I'm jeopardized
I'm apprised of nothing but poetry
I'm no longer interested in mathematics like geometry
It's like telling a fish to walk in the street
Her words are mightier and sharper than razors
Deeper than the oceans
And higher than the skies//.
_____________________________________________
© Artistic Poet
Categories:
exaggerations, 11th grade, 12th grade,
Form:
Romanticism
The dust of my dreams has been blown away.
For I met the love of my life one day.
He's covered in fur and twelve foot three.
Yes,he's a little bit taller than me!
Some call him Bigfoot,Sasquatch or Yeti.
But I just call him home for spaghetti!
It took a woman like me to tame him.
That he fell for me,well who could blame him?
I have all the traits Sasquatch could desire.
The Abominable Snowman and I are like fire.
He knows I'm loveable as can be.
That's why he fell so hard for me.
He swept me off my feet you know.
Our love is pure as driven snow.
for contest"Ridiculous Self-Exaggerations"
sponsored by Susan Burch
Categories:
exaggerations, fantasy, love, love, me,
Form:
Rhyme
These words are woven
With threads of tear
Laced in the needle of anguish.
In truth, I can tell of how it feels
To be pinched by piercing pain.
My soul is scissored
My heart, ripped apart
My mind refuse to mend.
And I am not the only one
Dressed in this pale grief gown.
I'm only a friend
Who became a brother.
And if asked to write about you,
Would wield metallic words
With no Ore of exaggerations.
Should it be of your seemingly sweet smile
Which springs from the fountain within?
Or your ever merry soul
And your charming Nightingale voice
Resounding melodiously
With a magnetic vibrato
That can pull a cripple to wiggle in dance?
Should it be tales of your tender love for younger Souls?
The curvy smile your lips form
When you openly chant
Secret words with Mom?
I can go on and on,
Down the slope of memories
Picking golden coins as I
Surf the subway
Of the time we shared.
The news of your demise
Was the uncorked grenade,
Thrown through the passage of my ears,
Leaving my heart in shreds.
I had thought you'd come back
And walk me down the street,
Smiling, as we compare heights.
I had thought that before
heading North again,
I'll sure see you at your best;
Only to be told that you lay in rest,
That your sun suddenly
Became shy; refusing to rise.
Today is your birthday
But you're not here to celebrate it.
We could blow out the candles: for you
With wishes that you'd stay.
But this birthday girl returned to dust..
P.S: Doris Jorju Ikhile...
#Sky-dahWeighWordSon loves you,
#Simisola does,
#Morolake too.
#Baju (Obe Leo) miss you.
#Oyindamola was broken.
#Olamide felt numb.
#Nikho hope you stayed.
#RCCG Everlasting Light Parish forever loves you.
#Mom??? No other woman deserves to MOTHER you. Birthing and nurturing you in a way others envy; with love exceptional.
We miss you and you'll forever remain Dear to our Hearts.!!!
Categories:
exaggerations, absence, bereavement, best friend,
Form:
Epic
.
hand-me-down myths,
clan's fondest memories
by nostalgia embellished
like ancient monoliths.
hyperbolic narrations,
truer-than-truth legends,
larger-than-life sagas,
happy exaggerations.
old ancestral history,
seeping, coursing down
bloodlines, tribal milestones,
coloring one's genealogy,
east, west, north, south,
its gravitational whirl stirs
generations' imagination,
through word of mouth.
.
Categories:
exaggerations, family
Form:
Tail-rhyme
In Junior High, I decided to try
to play an instrument
I joined the band, French horn in hand
determined to make music
I lugged my horn, ready to mourn
for myself, as I walked home
Although I practiced, my butt, this horn kicked
I could never play a song
The noise I did play, made all ears run away
and was painful to mine as well
Like howling dogs, the sound was all wrong
and frightening to my neighbors
Children cried on my street, men were white as a sheet
mothers ran out to buy ear plugs
But I didn't upset, became teacher's pet
And won the band's top accolade
With trophy in hand, I took a stand
and never returned to band
This is a true story but SLIGHTLY exaggerated
By Rhonda Johnson-Saunders, January 31, 2012
5th place in Self Exaggerations contest
Categories:
exaggerations, childhood, funny, music, school,
Form:
Rhyme
For heavens sake
What is it now
It’s running late
Just take a bow
The show has ended
I’m worn slap out
You both pretended
I ceased to shout
But now I’m tired
Of your tattle tongue
So much transpired
Accusations sprung
Far fetched tales
Exaggerations
A fishy smell
Is operating
So tell me, dear
What in the world
Has brought you here
With your lip curled
Categories:
exaggerations, anger, brother, little sister,
Form:
Rhyme