Best Doornail Poems

DOORNAIL (love song from a zombie) 
 

I’m alive despite the rigors 
Day by day believing 
In a world so fraught 
With each and every...

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I JUST CAN’T HELP IT, YA KNOW?

Elderly Lady: Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!
First Alert: Duly noted, will there be anything else?
Elderly Lady:...

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An unusual thing occurred at our house Christmas Eve.
It caused us anger, it was enough to make us grieve.

We waited to the last minute for...

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AN APPOINTMENT WITH DR. VIAGRA

Husband: Honey, I consulted a doctor before using this product and my ******** has lasted four or more hours so I...

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On my left the full silver circle of the moon
Just risen in the east
And on my right the mellow sun about to swoon
Provided a rare...

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Going to get a “haircut” today
Actually getting all of them cut
Cutting just one would hardly be noticed
Now I'm being a silly nut

There's many other sayings...

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i never saw the doornail die
never caught sight of a fox that sly

i didn't cure a dog so sick
didn't steal a glance of thieves so...

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Why Didn’t the Armadillo Cross the Road?

By Elton Camp

We see them on the highway dead as a doornail
Despite a suit or armor over all but...

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Certain it is to be at steady aim
at any time
at any place
the dead mans eternal race

Shock the barstool
take the shots
given by the winged sculptures who...

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because the music industry is
dead as a ****ing doornail,
they grip hold as long as possible
to whatever pop singer can pull
in the most idiots to sell...

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I'm feeling mentally unstable
Apparently I just lost my cable
Television done gone on the fritz
Gonna' miss my Monday Night blitz
Telephone dead as a doornail
Can't check my...

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I Should Thank Her

So often thought that I should thank her
For being such a glorious and big banker
And miracles she does with all our bills
So...

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I look through these trinkets
You've collected since birth
I'm left here to wonder
Do they have any worth

People didn't matter
For them you had no use
It was things...

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Never to be hurt, by another so called man.
My heart is now shattered, in pieces like glass.
You drug me thru your hell, now it's my...

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I relished being hungry for Thanksgiving pop slop gloppy grub

whereby the missus didst potchke
created whirling dervish hubbub
after enjoying repast, 
(fit for a tarnished king),
yours truly...

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