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The Best Cover My Ass Poems

Details | Cover My Ass Poem |

I Am Your President and King for Life

I play golf as much as I can
while still thinking of my fellow man 

I haven’t figured out the economy
because it puzzles me
still no recovery with the things I’ve done
oh well what the hell
as long as you can see my good intentions an I tried 
that is what is most important to me

I’ve been accused of telling lies 
how you figured me out that is a surprise
all of my promises I make don’t come true
I count on ABC, CBS & NBC to protect and cover my ***
and help me fool all of you

my enemies claim that I and my administration
 are corrupt with scandals through and through
I challenge any of you to prove your wild allegations it if you can good luck 

millions of people are out of work
Republicans keep saying I’m a jerk
to many people were working anyway
now they have more time to play
thanks to me and my socialist policy

I'm not a Christian but I do pray to my god Allah everyday
America’s been the leader of the free world for too long 
it’s time we sing a different song
leading from behind is the song I sing
taking America down a notch or two is my thing
is what I believe I need to do

the military is to strong I believe that is wrong
that’s why I apologize every chance I get
for America’s atrocities as I see fit

when I Barack Hussein Obama was elected president
I was very very much surprised
because I never ever did anything to pay my dues
I was so unqualified I still don’t understand
how I was able to fool all of you 

some of my constituents say I'm a narcissist
that is true now so let me salute all of you with my middle finger

all of my perks are great and life style to
playing golf and basketball is what I love to do
while the worlds troubles are in chaos boohoo

flying around in a great big plane
and living in a big mansion that's insane
but my wife still loves to complain
and all the millions of dollars I am able to
hide away for a rainy day

all the people around me 
tell me every day how great I am
playing at President is the job for me
you may now get on your knee to worship me 

I believe I have become a King you may also kiss my Muslim ring
those of you who disagree with me
and decide to take a pass then you can all kiss my black ***
Written by Dennis Davis
June 16th 2014

Details | Cover My Ass Poem |

Why am I alive

 I've been in the worst hellholes on earth in my youth, full of arrogance and hate due to the perceived injustices all around me. Attacking alone without backup, sure to fail. No secrets of God available to guide me there. Promises made to the Son, just to cover my *** and escape the danger soon forgotten when safe again. What has changed since then? Only the person I love the most was saved. So I learned to love again, setting my unfeeling heart free to do it's thing, trust His voice thru the Spirit whispering gently through my intuition.Just suggestions,never orders,my choice to heed the secrets or act alone again.When you hear the father and you listen to the son's secret's thru the children's voices,you will feel that your little ones are one with you, that they are the very essence of your life, and you will bond so close to them that you seem to feel every movement that they make, reason to be alive?