Best Comic Relief Poems
I grew up in rows of houses ending in graveyards,
where six feet of dirt covered
the mound of my existence
and failure arched every single doorway.
Depression draped the windows
with patterns stitched
by poverty’s unapologetic hand.
The futility of language lacing its voice
with abject grief and guilt;
Expression left to moan its desperation,
yet unable to communicate its plea.
While eyes lost the blue of horizons and hope--
blindness welcomed
as agony’s twisted comic relief.
Emptiness has a way of filling up
and spilling over, consuming;
Until all that remains is a chronicle of life
lived too painfully in reverse,
and the screaming sheathing of despair
mummifying the entombed...
Funny limericks are a welcomed treat
They're comic relief that can't be beat
Jan's limericks are the best
Never dull, I will attest
Reading them makes my sad, sour days more sweet
The sonnet is a tricky thing to write.
Quatrains, exactly three, must come before
A pair, a couplet, rhyming nice and tight:
A rave of fourteen lines, no less, no more.
True, limericks and haikus, although brief,
Present linguistic challenges as well.
Nantucket does not bring comic relief;
Five/seven/five at times can feel like hell.
Yet nobler is the sonnet’s higher norm;
The quatrains each pack meaning of their own,
Preserving all the while iambic form,
And forcing would-be writers skills to hone.
The words are calling, lovely, dark, and deep;
Alas, the bard could write these in his sleep!
Can't believe I'm penning this mess,
but I must address the gifted poetess,
Jan Allison has a degree from the
distinguished Poot-Toot University,
she has a PhD in Fartology.
An expert she is,
and, gee whiz,
anyone who writes of farts
so funnily,
is the "Queen of Flatulence,"
a PoetrySoup decree!
And yes, I know some are offended
by potty humor,
but we need comic relief in
the literary til we laugh ourselves
into a stupor,
as this world has much strife,
even if it's gaseous,
laughter heals life. ~
Dogs dogmatically guard the home
Sounding the alarm with a growling bark
As owners are alerted to the threat
Miscreants flee into the dark
Cats are categorically useful too
Their mouse-tracking skills renowned
When a feline is prowling on patrol
Rodents scurry underground
But rabbits are a tougher sell
Their herbivore hunting skills quite moot
Unable to save the day or keep vermin at bay
They mostly sit there looking cute
Rabbits are thin-skinned as well
There's one faux pas you must not commit
Please do not call them rodents
Order Lagomorpha is where they fit
Why then do we delight in ours
The doe we call simply “Bunny” ?
It's cuz her antics provide comic relief
When she yawns it looks so funny
Bunny blithely flips her little plate
A curt review of pet shop food
She’s holding out for blueberries or kale
Depending on her mood
Baby carrots and parsley sprigs
Make for a tasty Bunny lunch
She regales us with her table talk:
Munchity, crunchity, crunch
After a hard day’s work, I come home
To my gray-and-white-furred friend
She’ll run to be picked up and petted
And my stresses are at an end
Yes, Bunny is priceless to us
And she certainly earns her keep
Familial duties done for the day
On a little throw pillow she falls asleep
_______________________________
for contest: Furry Friend
Sponsored by: Royal T
Last night I bore a troubled heart
And prayed the Lord His peace impart...
And dreamt I then of fancy things
Of angel's wings, and Queens, and Kings
Of pirate ships and maidens fair
With emerald eyes and golden hair...
Then, flying there on wings of thought
Was quickened homeward sleeping brought
And woke instead to cold of morn
With worries lurking still forlorn...
Then, while sipping coffee's wake
Did by the garden respite take
And playing there I spied two fox
like stooges wearing reddened locks...
I prayed the Lord to spare my grief
And woke today to comic relief!
Timothy I. Brumley
I sabotaged my eight-millimeter childhood.
I never knew Sartre
But I contorted my latex face,
Burying my nothingness in family films.
My child was scripted to be ugly, skipped over
In comic relief.
Only recognizable as Menoetius,
My only animation was insolence.
I believed nothing in myself,
I knew nothing.
I sought my masquerade in
Metaverse avatars,
Really just 2D analog shadows,
Swaying waves of gray on ashen tv tubes.
Without convictions, I was convicted.
My craven rudeness landed me
In squalid wreckage,
The debris of my dormant sea,
Forsaken a million or more times,
Rebuffed and scorned,
I succumbed to my dense exhaustion.
I shut down where sleep had no form,
Where space-time is an illusion.
Some hint of dream touched and aroused me.
Some anamnesis so much greater than any containment!
I awakened sweaty, wretched, and authentically flawed,
savoring the sudden phenomenal enigma,
Ready to learn the endless patterns
of all the passions and sciences.
The Keystone Cops were funny,
Chaplain, Keaton, Lloyd, and Fields too.
Laurel and Hardy, and Will Rodgers,
Were just some of the names we knew.
Who can forget the Stooges,
Or all the pies we saw them throw?
Who didn't laugh at the Brothers Marx,
Or Abbot and Costello?
Berle, Caesar, Skelton, Crosby and Hope,
Could always bring a tear.
So could Allen, Paar, Kovacs, and Carson,
As we guffawed ourselves to the floor.
Gleason had Carney, Martin had Lewis, Lucy had Desi,
George had Gracie, and Burnett had her crew.
While Cosby, Pryor, and Murphy,
All taught us to laugh anew.
Cohen, Benny, Youngman, Diller, Rickles, Hackett, and Winters,
Are some of the names we recollect.
Everyone fell out of their chairs,
When Rodney "Got no respect"!
Today we have Billy, Whoopi, Robin, and Dave,
Leno, Rodriguez, Wallace, Jeni, Wright, and too many more to name.
But each still works to bring us laughter,
Today, their job's the same.
They poke fun at life's human side,
As did the jester who first began the gaff.
So when the comic entertains us with his work,
All we can do is laugh.
They see laughter and hear our smiles,
Whether they are "Stand Up" or "Situational" workers.
They take the pulse of every audience,
To see if there are any shirkers.
But "Laughter is the Best Medicine",
A saying that is all but true.
So, don't be afraid to let your bellyaches come from laughter,
When a comic entertains for you.
Brother,
Lover,
Poet,
Freelance writer,
Son,
Grandson,
Nephew,
Godfather too.
Christian in transition
Whose life changed in so many positions
Through so many persons and faces
Changing from many places.
Dreamer of dreams
Poet of the extreme
A deep thinker of thoughts and ideas.
Undercover comic relief
A man who had its share of sorrow and grief,
Walker of many miles,
And who puts on many smiles.
I'm no ego tripper
But a man who reaches for the Big Dipper,
Commanding dreams to come true
And a person who also encourages you.
People lover
never undercover
But face 2 face with you
A thinker so deep like an ocean blue.
A dreamer who goes beyond the stars
No matter how deep or how far
This is who I am!
I maybe a gem in a rough place
But I am the person with that face
You'll never forget
But in time your mind will set
On the things I told you
And all of this is surely true
Of who I am to me.
Child of the '60's long ago
i write these verses to let you know
Of who I am so listen well
As I finish this to tell
For this is who I am!
Black Man
Trying to do what's right in this land
For this is who I am
This is who I am!
(C) 2006
'Dress Rehearsal Rag'
of humble beginnings,
'Who by Fire'
melodic intrigue,
'Nevermind'
a gravelly
reckoned voice,
'Everybody Knows'
his razor sharp witted
comic relief in
self-deprecation,
he knew it was
'Closing Time,
shared his last
sentiments,
'You Want it Darker'
with all those in loving
accordance relishing
his masterful talents,
poetry, music &
stories intertwined
'tween the life
and death of the
Greatest Artist
of the Highest Caliber,
our Beloved
dearly departed
one & only
Leonard Cohen
Harking 'Hallelujahs' with angels,
'dancing to end of Love'
'Coming Back to You'
in spirited reminders,
'heard that my body was free'
notably 'Take This Waltz' evermore
'one of us cannot be wrong'
'Hey, that's no way to say,
goodbye...'
I
Words may be left
Untouched
Undeployed
Unemployed
Unused
Under utilised
In hands, mouths,
Dictionaries
Power pregnant but
Potential
II
Words with heart
Grow wings
Kinetic Energy
Kinesthetics, gymnastics,
Comic relief
Healing and Belief
III
Have you used
Neglected or Abused
Pregnant and potential
Words Today?
Comedians often make us laugh,
Oh! Some of the things they say.
Merry are their amusements,
In every sort of way.
Comediennes have that special appeal;
Of similar ilk to the comedian.
Much is of frivolity you know;
In 'turns' each others jokes they steal.
Charity of each is rarely seen,
Often as not on the television screen.
Minced words are their bread and butter.
It really doesn't matter for that
Comic Relief that splits the spleen.
When I see the flowing fields of wheat and the clouds just above
It is the Lord's Name I will repeat in the seeing of His great love
Every bird in the sky, all the unique creatures living in His sea
All I can do is sit back and sigh, all created by the Lord's decree
Darwin was a complete idiot in the matters of just such a belief
But it's too late for him to admit that his evolution is comic relief
What good is it to gain all but in return you end up losing your soul
This was Darwin's great fall for even with it all he can't pay the toll
And that other nut Madalyn O'Hare she ended up winning her case
Facing a God who is so just and fair, the One she tried to disgrace
The elephant , beaver and rabbit all know what is clear for all to see
So even if you refuse to admit you won't find that quality within me
Look how each creature is provided for as scientist stumble to name
Of Your Holy Name I am sure and thus shiver in seeing such shame
Lord remove the scales from their eyes as you have blessed me so
Oh Lord please help them to realize the One true thing that I know
Founded in 2Peter:3
4 minutes never spent so wisely!
They are content with drinking
They light the street with their unique dance steps
Passersby forgetting to pass.
Like a prophetess in trance.
With each bottle, they lose sight of life
The enormous problems of living,
In a country where basic amenities are tales
Told by the pictures online and on television screens.
Here they have chosen to live
To dance with their hearts, not legs
To entertain self attracted audience
Some even try to mimic them
To lighten a Mother's burden
The pain of laying down helplessly
The agony of sickness
And like a comic relief, it suspends the pains
Lifts her gentle soul
Like a broken feathered bird flying again
I could see her smile,
Don't bother, my mind has eyes
Tick, tick, time passes
Soon they shall wonder where the time went
But l know time wouldn't leave her laying on that bed
For time heals all wounds.
I wish you quick recovery dearest Ma'am
LAW IS A COMIC RELIEF
Law is a comic relief
Subtlety amidst ardent belief.
Draconian legislation
That still wriggles out an exception.
Pitiless killer
Yet cleverest healer.
Law is a comic relief
Deus ex machina to its own mischief.
Creator of extreme offences
That yet allows supreme defences.
Coercive jailer for life
That still gives freedom for a good strife.
If...
Insanity may be antidote for committing homicide
And intoxication could be a nostrum for patricide
And provocation may be a corrective for matricide
And necessity is a curative for avunculicide
And self-defence is a rectifier for uxoricide
And automatism is a shield for regicide
And necessity is a panacea for sororicide
And fair comment is a cure for famacide
Then Law is just nothing but a comic relief.
--Bolaji Ramos, Esq.
Copyright 2017