Best Bungled Poems
Don Knotts played the role of Deputy Fife,
Whose tomfoolery created much strife!
He bungled all that he did!
Sheriff Taylor blew his lid,
Distressed by Barney's screw-ups that were rife!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) All Rights Reserved
Categories:
bungled, humor,
Form:
Limerick
My beginnings were ever so humble
To this day I wear others' rags
I'm bungled, fumbled and tumbled
My owner usually brags
Diamonds all shapes and sizes
Multicolored rainbows and rings
Always loved and needled
And thrown on kings and queens
You can buy me at a boutique
If I'm given I'm normally at my peak
In the summer I go on the lam
Please tell me what I am.
challenge from Linda (Poet Destroyer)
anyone can answer please,feel free
Categories:
bungled, riddle,
Form:
Rhyme
Errors on Putins bungled invasion are beginning to show
As this obscene war progresses, his loss list will grow
He thought rolling in his tanks, it would take but a day
But the west is supporting Ukraine and will make him pay.
The Ukrainians are proud people and will fight to the end
And have sworn allegiance to their country and have vowed to defend
From all walks of life they answered, the rallying call
And unlike the murdering Russian army they stand proud and tall.
Finland and Sweden are now joining NATO after seeing Ukraine
They like all of us have seen reports, of the devastation and pain
If he invades a NATO country he'll invoke article five
And with NATOs firepower he'll be lucky to survive
He's now backed into a corner and should admit defeat
And start withdrawing his army and get them off the street
Thousands are dead because of him , their blood is on his hands
And all because the Ukrainian people didn't bow to his demands.
There are no Nazis in Ukraine only the Russian army
And that is plain as day, as all the civilised world can see
Putin is soulless and dishonorable and suffers no guilt
But one day will pay for his crimes and for Ukraine to be rebuilt.
Written on 11th May 2022
Categories:
bungled, death, soldier, war,
Form:
Rhyme
This is the woman who repeatedly told us for over two years Joe was as sharp and active as ever, there is no crisis at the border, Joe’s record inflation was caused by Trump, the bungled Afghanistan withdrawal was all down to Trump, Covid spread was all yep Trump, high energy and gas prices all Trump, the Hunter laptop was Russian disinformation, that they did not support defunding the police, the Jan 6 Committee was an impartial bipartisan investigation, that the DOJ and FBI’s legal campaign against Trump was not politically motivated, and on and on it goes. She was the poster girl for the Biden Ministry of Lies.
Ain’t it funny watching all the liberal media and White House staff pretend like they were all duped by a senile old fool for three and a half years. With all their access to Biden and his aides they couldn’t see what any sane person could. That’s corruption on an unprecedented scale. There’s your threat to democracy, there’s your constitutional crisis. There are many here on the Soup who believed it was all a conspiracy theory. That’s next level spectacularly dumb!
This odious woman is the latest to release a book to monetise her complicity and guilt with more gaslighting. The only reason she was chosen as press secretary was because she ticked all the right boxes with DEI. She got to lie to us every day from her pulpit because Democrats value DEI and virtue signalling over ability and integrity. Thus being a black immigrant gay woman was her ticket to the top job. In the real world most of us have to earn our way. Not so in the fantasyland liberals live in. Get your heads out of your ar-se, America.
Can’t wait to see who the next lying bottom feeder is to write a book.
Categories:
bungled, corruption, political,
Form:
Political Verse
Firstly,
waking up to your thoughts,
is not what I really do.
Secondly,
slothing around, thinking about you,
is not what I really do.
However,
doesn't mean that I love you no longer,
nor that I don't miss you.
When I manifest my fascination,
about something I love,
and there's no one who discerns,
that's when I miss you most.
When I speak my mind out,
about our insignificance in the cosmos,
and I'm met with vacant stares,
that's when I miss you most.
When I am gloomy,
about something I'd bungled,
and I no longer hear your reassuring voice,
that's when I miss you most.
Every time I be someone,
someone I am not,
and when I remember who I was with you,
that's when I miss you most.
Categories:
bungled, beautiful, desire, emotions, friendship
Form:
Free verse
Send the convicts to the jails -
Local jails! -
What a world of confinement as their court case fails
Hear the jingle, jingle, jingle
Of the handcuffs as they walk
Now with men they only mingle
They may as well be single
Doing time, time, time,
For a thoughtless bungled crime
As their ratting, pigeon, stoolie partners send them with their tales
To the jails, jails, jails, jails,
Jails, jails, jails -
To the friendly and the cleanly local jails
Send the felons to the jails -
Fed'ral jails!
What a world of isolation as the judge prevails!
Hear the hammer, hammer, hammer,
In the dead and dark of night
As they're locked into the slammer!
All the other inmates clamor
To the jailers delight
Doing time, time, time,
For a botched "ruinic" crime
Which not admitted but committed and their last appeal fails
While in jails, jails, jails, jails,
jails, jails, jails -
While in insufficient and deficient jails
Categories:
bungled, parody, world,
Form:
Rhyme
In English classes my skull would be reelin' with a myriad of perplexities,
Strugglin' to cope with English Composition with its multitudinous complexities!
I could never comprehend (and never will) the mysteries of verbs and pronouns,
Or danglin' participles, prepositions, conjunctions and irregular nouns!
"Your future will be mighty bleak", my patient teachers hinted indirectly,
"If you don't learn the intricacies of the English lingo now and correctly!"
The long-sufferin' teachers considered me a dunce and their hopeless bane!
I wanted to be a pilot! How was this folderol gonna help me fly a plane?
Incomprehensible to me were past, present and future perfect tenses!
Invariably, I bungled those terms in trying to compose any of my sentences!
Fiddle faddle! Why, I mused from my naïve and youthful perspective,
Would I ever have any use for a comparative or superlative adjective?
My favorite classes were glee club, art and gymn, each in which I did excel,
But adverb clauses, proper and predicate nouns to my mind just didn't gel!
The use of consonants, vowels and indefinite articles left my head a-spinnin',
I couldn't understand the use of predicates or proper titles from the beginnin'!
Thankfully, after the vicissitudes of high school and bewildering frustration
I somehow managed to accumulate enough English credits for graduation!
Well, I reckon I ain't never gonna be no good at parsin' a sentence no how!
(Wouldn't my teachers be proud of that line - or would me they disavow!)
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) All Rights Reserved
Categories:
bungled, on writing and words,
Form:
Rhyme
There has been news about piracy in the high seas...
And here is news about a nefarious activity you don't see...
People go missing in action off the waters of Philippines...
And then the cat and mouse game of high stakes begins...
While some families agonise over their missing loved ones....
Going by the news, the border security patrol force was duly informed...
But this I wonder, looks like the sovereign security patrols fail once again...
With a dusk to dawn curfew in force, was there a lapse in security yet again...
Was it a case of lax security or was it a case of one attempt too many...
Border Patrol boasted it has thwarted double digits of attempts that were so many...
Is this latest affront to sovereign securty a reminder we cannot escape kidnap attempts...
When we have for our neighbours bandits who sees us not as human beings...
Catch some Malaysians, then began a hide and seek game in the jungles of Philippines..
Next is a couple of months of various seek n find missions involving the governments....
And negotiations in earnest then begins , builds up to a critical delicate point ...
For money in a few tens of millions, freedom and lives can be traded to a point...
Should negotiations fell through or deadlines are missed, death to the victims ...
Often it's slow death by beheading under the guise of fanatical religious belief...
Hoping for religious sympathies to condone a blatant cruel act against humanity..
When in essence it was all a well disguised despicable act of kidnapping...
Treating fellow humans as human cattle to be traded and prices haggled...
While playing God and pretending to be God's warriors when talks are bungled...
Claiming every unfortunate victim's life in the name of the Islam religion...
Thinking in their warped religious fervour they are on the pathway up to Heavens...
These terrorists, they can be no other, terrorise the international community...
With such blatant organised crimes of inhumanity with such impunity...
Maybe vigilante squads in the Philippines is the final solution....
Thousands of drug peddlars and merchants are dead by executions...
Looks like therein lies a possible solution, storm the dense jungles...
Cash rewards for vigilante squads killing terrorists in the jungles....?
Categories:
bungled, betrayal, community, environment, international,
Form:
Free verse
Limericks croises : Once a Boxer met Poodle on leash
Once Monsieur walked Poodle in broad street
Madame laid up after nightlong feat
Poodle tripped in full glee
In Paris rue carefree
Monsieur took note of neighbours who cheat
Saw Mademoiselle walk Boxer on leash
Boxer lick-jumped Poodle with relish
Monsieur’s leash entangled
Mademoiselle’s hose bungled
Rush hour traffic stopped to let dogs enmesh/unleash.
© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2013
Categories:
bungled, paris,
Form:
Limerick
Only my soul see the seasons when I am alone
Wearing the camouflage of a mocking frown,
The frock grows longer when I am on my own
Serene Emblems of clouds sparkle in my crown.
When the whole realm of close friends disappear
The eyes within my heart became black and blue,
Misty springs waltz through the atmosphere,
Gave the world no sign of the solitude I knew.
Just as fear is anxious about reasons for doubt
Floating dreams struggle with truths to enjoy,
The normal part of existing life breaking out
Trying to run away from emotional ties of memory.
We remain esteemed strangers within the walls
Of the challenging places where we sit alone,
In painful zone listening to our own distant voices
Playing calm tunes to replicate our delicate form.
The forlorn glands of pride were soiled and sunny
Indiscreet fears bunched and bungled together,
On every phony feeling awaken inside of my tummy
The voices of loneliness own every defining hour.
Shared on the long road of Independent demand
When good friends are gone, we are left alone
With opinions to ponder as strangers in the land,
Reaping galvanize reforms to leave the tragic union.
Categories:
bungled, adventure, celebration, goodbye, immigration,
Form:
Free verse
They're all here,
the last one arrived,
company's assembled;
sisters, sons, in-laws, grandmas.
Heartfelt hugs all around.
handshakes, back-slaps,
worn-out platitudes
exchanged.
I love the sound of it,
now that I'm standing
in Mother's shoes.
She's here, but at 88,
she's my guest now,
feted by three generations.
In the gathering room
they stood,
sniffing.
Impossible to move freely.
Last minute preparations bungled.
I'm all thumbs,
burning the yams,
spilling lemonade,
forgetting napkins.
I want to shout,
"Vamoose, get lost,
this is my kitchen."
How did she put up with us
All those years?
Categories:
bungled, family, mother, mothers day,
Form:
Free verse
In English classes my skull would be reeling with a myriad of perplexities,
Struggling to cope with English Composition and its multitudinous complexities!
I could never understand (and never will) the mysteries of verbs and pronouns,
Or dangling participles, prepositions, conjunctions and irregular nouns!
"Your future will be mighty bleak," my patient teachers hinted indirectly,
"If you don't learn the intracacies of the English lingo now - and correctly!"
The long-suffering teachers considered me a dunce and their hopeless bane!
I wanted to be a pilot! How was this folderol going to help me fly a plane!
Incomprehensible to me were past, present and future perfect tenses!
Invariably, I bungled their use in trying to parse my sentences!
Fiddle Faddle! Why, I mused from my naive and youthful perspective,
Would I ever have any use for a comparative or superlative adjective?
My favorite classes were glee club, art and gymn - each in which I did excel,
But adverb clauses, proper and predicate nouns to my mind just didn't gel.
The use of consonants, vowels and indefinite articles left my head spinning.
I couldn't understand the use of predicates or proper titles from the beginning!
Thankfully, after the vicissitudes of high school and bewildering frustration,
I somehow managed to accrue enough English credits for my graduation!
Well, I reckon I ain't never gonna be no good at parsin' a sentence no how!
(Wouldn't my teachers be proud of that line! Or would they me, disavow!)
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved)
Categories:
bungled, on writing and wordsme,
Form:
Rhyme
Antisocial anacondas don't associate in numbers;
Bears and beavers don't become the best of friends.
Civet cats catch rats, so is it any wonder
On doleful dingoes dire dilemmas do descend?
Effete elephants eschew jumping, it's ungraceful;
"Frenching" frogs will never fetch nor wart nor prince.
Beware lest grim gaboons give you a face full;
Hyena's haunting laugh makes haughty hippos wince.
Iguanas ignorantly ignore sunscreen on their eyelids;
Jaguars judiciously adjure a jungle nook.
Kangaroos are kind of cute when they have cute kids;
In Lima llamas leap and lastly look.
Mountain lions may masquerade as pumas;
Nimble narwhal's noble spear's his joy and pride.
Opossums opt not to oppose those "play dead" rumors;
Prosaic penguins probably take leglessness in stride.
Quails quibble querulously in quorums;
Raccoons rinse their rations when they eat.
A snail can wreak some slimy harum-scarum;
Tarantulas tout tasty toads as treats.
Urutus usually undulate in jungles;
Vultures vainly vote for haute cuisine.
A wildebeest's a waggish work somebody bungled;
Xeric xenops don't exactly tan, they just stay green.
Yenta yaks may yell and yowl when they feel chatty;
Zany zebra's zoned in black, or white, if you prefer.
I pray this piece will play and not seem "catty",
SPCA's raucous ridicule I'd rather not incur,
For these bits of critterary trivia, A to Z,
Are things I never learned from Marlin Perkins*, R.I.P.
*For those of you, dear readers, who may not know, or who may not remember, Marlin Perkins was the host of the long-running NBC nature series, "Wild Kingdom", which aired on Sunday nights from 1963-1971.
Categories:
bungled, animal, humor,
Form:
Alliteration
Above the mountains
The eagle’s sores so high
Across this great nation
The star bungled banner flies
In New York City
The ferry sails across the sea
And a woman in the commerce
She’s captivating me
She’s a beautiful lady
Such a sight to see
But she’s like a beautiful bandit
She’s stole my heart from me
The sun shines at daylight
Then the star sparkles so bright
I want to hold her hands
And get lost in her eyes tonight
I don’t know what she done
Its all still a mystery
I just can’t explain it
But she’s captivating me
When I’m having my coffee
She’s on my mind
Yes she’s captivating me
And it feels so fine
Her eyes like diamonds
Her lips are cherry red
And just like vanilla ice cream
She’s good from her toes to her head
What is wrong with me?
Why am I feeling like this?
I keep day dreaming
About one of her kiss
I want to take her to Trinidad
And fill her life with fun
Drinking coconuts on the beaches
Under the Caribbean sun
And kiss her on the beach at night
Under the big full moon
She makes my heart swell
Like a hot air balloon
But only time will tell
What is to be will be
Till then it’s my secret
That she’s captivating me
She captivate me
Tied me in her ball of twine
And I want her for Christmas
Thanking giving and valentine
Categories:
bungled, longing, love, lust,
Form:
Light Verse
I neither care nor bother about perfection
On all their faces I actually see otherwise
On strange machines I have found myself
Bolts and nuts intertwined in mazes
Detailed guide too long to comprehend
I posses little education to even recite
So we go on trying, guessing and fondling
Hoping the cure will come somehow
Amidst breached procedures and advice
Get the car moving: most essential task
Those unusual sounds I’ve learnt to ignore
Wish it away and it exists no more
Of course, they all must be wary of me or learn
Yet they foolishly follow even when I warn
I know choices are limited and you must come again
I pray you don’t imagine my ability to guess
When you do guess, what can you do?
After all, I am king even when we all blind
Nobody trained me; nobody checks me
I am not different from the president to the councilor
Riding on the crest of power in mediocrity
Years of guessing cannot make perfection
Where excellence belongs only to thieves
Equipped with sophisticated tools not in the books
Dismantling and reassembling chaotically
Translating cries as sounds of excitement
As failed, bungled machines drive governance
Alas I am in stiff context with my Oga at the top
These politicians ridicule my feats
I should vehemently cry for them that trust me
I worry even when I know they should
At least I am better than the men in the corridor
I still posses the capacity to think and trouble
My competitors are better than I can ever be
Categories:
bungled, political, education, me,
Form:
Dramatic Monologue