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English Composition 101

In English classes my skull would be reelin' with a myriad of perplexities,
Strugglin' to cope with English Composition with its multitudinous complexities!
I could never comprehend (and never will) the mysteries of verbs and pronouns,
Or danglin' participles, prepositions, conjunctions and irregular nouns!

"Your future will be mighty bleak", my patient teachers hinted indirectly,
"If you don't learn the intricacies of the English lingo now and correctly!"
The long-sufferin' teachers considered me a dunce and their hopeless bane!
I wanted to be a pilot!  How was this folderol gonna help me fly a plane?

Incomprehensible to me were past, present and future perfect tenses!
Invariably, I bungled those terms in trying to compose any of my sentences!
Fiddle faddle! Why, I mused from my naïve and youthful perspective,
Would I ever have any use for a comparative or superlative adjective?

My favorite classes were glee club, art and gymn, each in which I did excel,
But adverb clauses, proper and predicate nouns to my mind just didn't gel!
The use of consonants, vowels and indefinite articles left my head a-spinnin',
I couldn't understand the use of predicates or proper titles from the beginnin'!

Thankfully, after the vicissitudes of high school and bewildering frustration
I somehow managed to accumulate enough English credits for graduation!
Well, I reckon I ain't never gonna be no good at parsin' a sentence no how!
(Wouldn't my teachers be proud of that line - or would me they disavow!)

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) All Rights Reserved

Copyright © Robert L. Hinshaw | Year Posted 2013

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Timothy Hicks Date: 5/27/2013 11:57:00 AM I've always thought like this! I understand the importance of being clear in your message... but is dissecting the English language like a poor dead frog really going to help anyone? Let's face it, we need to get back to the basics!... awesome poem, Robert! :) Login to Reply

Andrea Dietrich Date: 2/17/2013 4:23:00 PM I liked English class but not nearly as much as writing class and gym!! Login to Reply

Andrea Dietrich Date: 2/17/2013 4:22:00 PM robert, what you have is "instinctual" and you do not need to understand the terms themselves if you write this well. A fun poem! Login to Reply

Ilene Bauer Date: 2/15/2013 9:20:00 AM bob - i think all of your english teachers should just eat their words and yours, too! somewhere along the line, you've managed to conquer all of your frustrations and turn out the most delightful poetry! Login to Reply

Toquyen Harrell Date: 2/15/2013 7:39:00 AM Ha ha. Too funny, Bob. Glad you got through it. It can seem a lot -that English class. I remember! You turned out pretty good - Your teacher should be proud :) Login to Reply