Best Bollock Poems

Pea Soup
A lot of party people have perfect bowels. 
What would it take to totally kaput Nork's military machine? 
Same ferocity in battle as that one bollock corporal’s? 
All along the periphery, East v West, their games of cat and mouse, thrust and parry continued....

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That ugly duckling face of yours 
resembles the back end of a horse, 
that second face you have a gory sight 
a clogged lavatory orange bright,
both worthless to the human race, 
so I’ll tell you to your two feaces of face 
know your place with...

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say this for Justine
though sweet she often turns mean
Justine wasn't keen
on men who might misuse her
she kept track of where they were

worked the bar and grill
at the bottom of West Hill
bears beer, food  and bills
while avoiding groping hands
inappropriate demands

brimming with desire
education to acquire
her words...

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Ellie was going to play in the World Scrabble
Championships in Thailand but format had changed,
instead of the usual English rules, it was sexual,
all words now were risque' with no decency at all.

She was horrified but somehow still agreed to play,
closed her eyes and wondered what...

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