Best Big As A House Poems
For P.D's "Going Haiku Crazy" Contest
How Many?
going to St. Ives
met folks on that smelly bus
more than I could count
Just Sleep Walking?
Wee Willy Winky
caught outside a boy’s window
in a night garment
Got Wool?
naked in the lane
three bags-full of wool sheared off
baa baa black sheep fleeced
She Didn’t Know What to Do!
Kids’ cries from inside -
outside an old woman’s shoe
child welfare people
Clean Your Plate!
Licking their plates clean
Jack Sprat and wife do their part. . .
kids starve in China
The Treacherous Hill
pail of spilled water
Jill’s body sprawled over Jack’s
one big bloody mess
What a Ding Dong
good deed for the day
boy scout Tommy Stout by well. . .
scratches on his arm
Not Even a Bone
old Mother Hubbard
Social Security cut
dog needs a new home
Yellow Georgie
victims of Porgie
confront him in the playground
his true color shows
The Original Blonde
Bo peep loses sheep
birth of a new tradition. . .
blonde jokes being told
The Schemer
some spilled curds and whey
spider near a fallen chair
supping happily
Making the Best. . .
Humpty takes a spill
the whole army can’t fix him
omelets for lunch
Baby Catches On
the church and steeple
and now you show me people?
those are just fingers!
They Say He Couldn’t Keep Her!
gossip in the town
pumpkin shell big as a house. .
where is Peter’s wife?
Bye, Hushed Baby
the sound of wind’s rush
baby’s cries abruptly hushed
broken branch on ground
*I'm choosing this series of haiku for several reasons.
First, it's the only post I made named "Twisted" so it
is an obvious choice. Second, I do have other poems
I consider a bit twisted, but, I simply cannot
remember the titles of some of these really old poems
to look for them. Finally, this series was inspired by
a long ago contest of PD's in which I got the idea
to take nursery rhymes and twist them, and so
I'm reviving this series which can no longer be
viewed by anybody here unless it's in a contest!
A woman is the greatest of all contradiction;
She is an angel in truth and a demon in fiction.
She is afraid of a cockroach, she will scream at
a mouse but she will tackle a man as big as a house.
She will take him for better, she will take him for worse
She will split his head open and then be his nurse.
And when he is well and can get out of bed, she will
pick up a pot and throw at his head.
She is faithful, deceitful, keen-sighted and blind;
She is crafty, she is simple, she is cruel and kind.
She will lift up a man and she will cast him down;
She will make him a king and she will make him a clown.
You fancy she is this but you find out she is that,
For she will play like a kitten and bite like a cat.
In the morning she will but in the evening she wont
and when you are always expecting she does she don't.
Purr Verse
Give me a mole or a moose or a mouse,
Make it quite small, or as big as a house,
Buy me a bear or a big ol' black bat,
But I beg you please,
Do not give me a cat!
Mail me a whale or a wart hog or worm,
Something that crawls or that creeps or can squirm,
Pass me a buck! Send a hare out of place,
Or do a bad tern,
But a cat I can't face!
A snake I can take, (though I quake at the thought),
Or a skunk or a hunk of some "gross" thing you've caught,
An eel or an owl or a newt or a gnat,
Or some fleas, if you please,
Just don't give me a cat!
However, there's one thing that I dislike more
And that is a rat! Oh, a rat I'd abhor!
If I found just one little rat in my flat,
I know what I'd do -
I'd go get me … a cat!
Praise my poetry prowess
I'm a man not a mouse
With my prose and my rhyme
Yes my ego's been soused
And is big as a house
At least most of the time
When level, I canter
I revel in banter
I'm not anyone's mime
Put me up on that stage
Though I don't act my age
And I'm well past my prime
So come in for the show
It don't cost much you know
Just a measly red dime
Said you're saving your bucks
And think poetry sucks
Then I say that's a crime
Coming from out of nowhere
somewhere in space
somewhere above
Somewhere my love
Running and running I was
Those son of a guns
Would pop me in my head
Pop pop pop on my face
Splat spla splat
Trying to dodge them
But to no avail
**** happens I guess
They were streaming down
millions of them
Some as big as a house
Some tiny itsy-bitsy ones
Couldn't even see the sun shine
Clouds people or :-) Faces
I was the marathon man
I ran,ran and ran for cover
But they were everywhere
Snowflakes got bigger and bigger
I kept running uphill downhill
Uptown downtown Chinatown too
And to my surprise came a large snowball
Bigger than life itself Rolled side-by-side
Parallel to me it did
Soon was consumed by all this snow
Sucked up by this larger than life snowball
Rolling by the countryside
In speeds of up to 65
And continuing on this journey
never-ending
Seemed time had stood still
Being a wayward vagabond
And adventurer at heart
Although a prisoner I didn't mind
In spite of the path that was chosen
Before being born
In All the confusion what I miss most was my girl
Sweet Maggie May
As I would call ,in the sweet tender moments
That only Shakespeare would write about
And Rembrandt paint..
With all the thoughts on my Maggie May
Seems the cold didn't bother me at all
When suddenly seeing this other ball
Even larger than my own
Roll along side
To my amazement there was someone in it
a person like myself
Woopie woopie dandelions
I can't Believe it
Happy :-) At a thought of having someone
so near wow
We finally came to a halt
In the frozen tundra below
Knowing that years and years
had passed me by
Looking across the other side
Gazing at the other ball of snow white
To see this other person a prisoner like myself
Put a smile to my face and jumpstart to my heart
It was totally electrifying
I wasn't alone anymore
Me Maggie May and Those big balls
Here comes the sun..
She could not understand what I was saying.
I was just telling her about my summer vacation.
Our annual family motor tour.
Mountains with snow that stops where the clouds begin
Pines that climb the mountain
until the air is so thin they can no longer grow.
Snow melting from the peaks
becoming ribbons of liquid ice,
tumbling faster and faster
polishing rocks into pebbles
until the stream becomes a river
flowing with deep silent power to the sea.
Deer in the forest and horses on the trails.
Eagles dancing on the thin fresh air.
Rocks as big as a house.
Puzzlement covered her face,
Disbelief in the slant of her eyes.
I was just as puzzled.
Had she never been there?
Could she have never seen a mountain?
Had she never been out of town?
Was that possible?
I went home - still pondering
Realizing how fortunate am I.
I changed my words into a picture
so she could understand.
Her eyes grew so big.
She was amazed at what she saw.
I was amazed at her reaction.
I brought her a new world
Could I do it again?
I drew another picture, and another, and another ...
I have never stopped being amazed.
Note: This is a true story. We were ten.
Ever seen a mouse
As big as a house
Or a fly as big as your eye
How bout a bee
With a sunburned knee
Or a turkey that sniffles and cries
What about a chicken
Wearing green mittens
Or a kangaroo singing the blues
An elephant with hands
Doing hand stands
Or a hippo wearing green shoes
Here's a few more
A gold fish that roars
Or a cat with a pink feathered hat
A pet cockatoo
Named Bartholomew
Or a sensitive tiger named Matt
Or finally a goat
Sailing a boat
With a pipe sticking out of his gob
A squirrel with a cold
And a tooth made of gold
Or a hamster who's first name is Bob
© Jack Ellison 2015
" Scream, Ann, scream! Scream like you've never screamed before!"
I saw their eyes, wide like turkey eggs
for his bombast had provided us sneers.
Just what is it he expects her to see
that would leave her shaking, in tears?
" Have any of you ever heard of..Kong?"
There it is! This is it! The man's a fool!
He's off for a film so they'll be thrilled!
This ship is a tramp, not proper or trim.
He'll wind up getting all of us killed.
" All hands on Deck! All Hands on Deck!"
She's gone! Oh my God! She's gone!
Now what do we do? Hand out the guns!
Is there enough bullets for them all?
I still wonder: are we the only ones?
" Come on! Who's going with me?!!"
I can't believe the size of it! The size!!
It's a mirage! It must be a nightmare!
It's carried her off out in that jungle!
My hands feel cold. We'd better beware.
I might be lucky. I'm staying behind.
I shot it. I know I did!
" I tell you, skipper, this Kong is as big as a house!"
I slip up by Denhams' side to hear about
Kong and these dragons and there's more!
I thought those things were dead and gone
Suppose one of them comes to this door?
" Kong's Coming! Kong! Kong!"
I heard the gong! Oh my God! It's Kong!
He followed Driscoll and Ann right here.
We've taken up arms! We've bolted the door!
I wish I could be somewhere and not here.
He's In! He's Loose! Run! Run!
EXPLOSION! I turn
Kong stops. He staggers.
He's down.
I hear Denham shout:
" Come On. I Got Him!
We'll teach him fear! We're millionaires, boys!
Kong! The EIGHTH WONDER OF THE WORLD!"
I never slept all those weeks back.
Gunshots and whips from the hold
It's a mistake to bring this thing back.
Denham is foolish and brazen and bold.
EPILOGUE:
I shipped out right after we docked.
I pour another shot, look out to the sea.
The mate just told me the news
over the wireless:
Kong is loose in New York.
I wonder where Denham is...
Belly getting as big as a house.
Use to eat like a mouse.
But now eating for two.
Can't wait for day to change a diaper or two.
It be nice to hold you.
~Give More And More~
(Rhyme)
The more around I see
The more and more I want I say
Give me more and more
Give me more now I say
I don't really care at all
You can make it small or tall
Give me more today I say
Give me more and more to play
The more I see the more I want.
Give me more and more don't say you can't
I don't really care at all
It can be big as a house or tall as a wall
Give me a ladder big and as tall
Give it to me to climb that tall wall
I don't really care anymore if I fall
Anything is better than none at all
The more and more I want and I say
The more and more I see and I do
Give me more and more for today
Give me more to have and play
Give me more and more to hold and play
Give it to me small or tall I say
I don't really care if it is small as an ant
Or if it is big and mean as my aunt
Give me more and more today I say
Give it to me as high as the sky
Give it to me yellow red or blue
Give me more and more today to play
Make it big or small
Make it small or tall
Make it hairy or bold
Give it to me quick as you're told
Give me more and more I say
Give me more and more today
I don't really care if you don't want
I don't really care if you can't
Give me more and more as the sky
Give me more and more just as high
Make it big as a house
Or make it small as a mouse
Give me more and more to see with my eyes
Give me more and more to hold and play
Make it small or tall
Anything is better than none at all
Give me more and more I say
Give it to me as tall as the sky
Give me a ladder as big and tall
Give it to me to climb that wall.
Dorian Petersen Potter
aka ladydp2000
copyright@2008
:))
December.09.2015
~ Author's Notes:
Just from a very young child's perspective of thinking sometimes, we know how kids are at times, lol...Though, this is just a children's poem and from a innocent child's
point of view :)..
This morning, my yard was hopping
with squirrels and rabbits busily shopping
for pine needles, berries, and cones,
perfumes, oils, and sweet colognes,
to entice partners for this evening's bebopping.
The fox said to the wolf in a huff.
"We're making this problem way too tough.
You take that goat, Sandie,
and I'll take that lamb, Randy.
And we'll split Porks, if that ain't enough."
There was some tumultuous to do
in the pouch of mommy kangaroo.
The twins were jumping and springing,
doing summersaults and singing,
making mommy kangaroo ~ so blue.
Tiny birds scooting across the street,
hopping on their three-toed, little feet.
A car misses them by inches ~
they'd be dead if they were finches!
Tiny birds! Get off the street! Tout sweet!
I chanced on a cat as big as a bear
who was all covered in grizzly, brown hair.
He was cornered by a mouse
as big as a house!
And guess who there was trembling in fear.
"You look like a million bucks
in your elegant white tux,"
said the ravenous wolf to a lamb.
"But though you look pretty in it,
don't think for a minute
I'm not gonna eat you, cuz I am."
Two smart crows peck at a road-kill cat,
plucking bits of liver, lungs, and fat.
Crow one inquires of crow two:
"How's this feline tasting to you?"
"Much finer than last week's sewer rat."
A third of the ducklings is three,
waddling behind Mama Shérie.
If a duck is a bird,
and three is a third,
how many birds do you see?
Life in this big old fishbowl
was never quite completely whole,
till Wally the walrus
came to dwell among us,
and gave this fishbowl some soul.
Oh, kiddies, please be alert!
Here live dangerous dragons that squirt
all manner of green ire
and orangy hell fire,
and if you get hit, you’ll be hurt.
Ever seen a mouse
As big as a house
Or a fly as big as your eye
How bout a bee
With a sunburned knee
Or a turkey that sniffles and cries
What about a chicken
Wearing green mittens
Or an kangaroo singing the blues
An elephant with hands
Doing hand stands
Or a hippo wearing green shoes
Here's a few more
A gold fish that roars
Or a cat with a pink feathered hat
A pet cockatoo
Named Bartholomew
Or a sensitive tiger named Matt
Or finally a goat
Sailing a boat
With a pipe sticking out of his gob
A squirrel with a cold
And a tooth made of gold
Or a hamster who's first name is Bob
@Jack Ellison 2012
Moonie
It was in the seventies I was out at St George,
Playing pool with the locals,
and the blacksmith from his forge,
I was winning, had a winning streak,
But I was getting a bit drunker,
So it was time to drive 300 miles,
in me Holden, the old clunker,
I was on a 200 mile stretch,
Black forest all around,
Drunk as 40 cats,
Glassy eyed,
half alkie sorta drowned,
I came up the darkened valley,
Not a bat or ne’er a sound,
Hair jumped up upon me neck,
great golden ball, sat on the ground,
Big as a house the golden ball,
I sobered oh so quick,
Just the bloody full moon that’s all,
No sign of mean ole Nick,
Cos, it was the highway Moonie
Once upon a time many years ago
There lived animals as big as a house
We call them dinosaurs so we will know
Not to confuse them with some little mouse
One time a baby dinosaur was born
To a mother who loved dinosaur days
This baby would not eat his peas or corn
And spit them out unlike dinosaur ways
This made the mother afraid for her son
For he must eat vegetables only
As all good dinosaurs have always done -
Or he would be ignored and grow lonely
The father thought and thought and then he smiled
He would mix them together in a pot
And cook them just right to feed this young child -
The baby loved it and ate all he got
Well, he grew to be strong and so handsome
He was the best dinosaur in the group
His father was smart to try and can some
To this day they sell vegetable soup
6-16-19
Contest:Dinosaurs - For Children Poetry
Sponsor:Line Gauthier
I remember when her butt was small
It's been so long I hardly recall
It was cute as a mouse
Now it's big as a house
Guess it's better than no butt at all
I suggested she go see a Doc
And when she found one just down the block
He helped her lose the weight
Oh Wow! She looks so great
But then she dropped me like a hot rock