Best Battleaxe Poems
Hilda shut him out of her life,
with combative tongue and hot air.
Gunther launched her, off topmost stair,
shut the lid on his battleaxe wife.
4/24/2022
Killing With an Epigram
Sponsor: Margarita Lillico
Hilda: Maid of battle
Gunther: Battle Warrior
Battleaxe: sharp-tongued, domineering
Many times have i asked how to love the Lord
forgiving my neighbour is hard enough;
repentance's rule is all my lot
but loving the Lord, is so, so tough.
The Good Book says, "...with all our strength,"
what does that mean? i know not how;
i asked and wondered as i slowly sank
in darkness i groped as the stench went foul.
Then this day as i washed the wok
it came to me as a bright lighthouse;
to love the Lord is to please the Lord
so still i went, my soul a mouse.
Yes! indeed, all please the Lord!
that's loving Him, with all our strength;
like a battleaxe that's subtly fought
swing with might, out with a bang!
So to those out there still in the dark
loving Him means pleasing Him;
"...in all you do!" the angels hark!
never forget this, though the sun goes dim.
Do your best to do what's right
mystery's solved, now you know to love;
with all your mind, when all is bright
to please the Christ, the Man Above.
Wordsmith's worst nightmare
fortunately thwarted courtesy
mine tall tale telling flair.
Mine irretrievable brilliant masterpiece...
all for naught after mental cogs and wheels
I did apply creative juice metaphorical grease
regarding tour de force pièce de résistance writing
forever lost to the annals of human history.
So much for escaping to paradise island
(Garden of Eden) and experiencing zen
Impossible mission to earn untold yen
concerning prosaic poem/ poetic prose titled
The old battleaxe and her henchwomen
irrecoverable linkedin to sinking feeling
hours, days, weeks... all spent for naught
dharma bum - me got doled out unfair
injustice though scoreboard (tabulating
when yours truly acted immoral) oddly even
Steven after I repented against
marital infidelities nearly cost priceless
paternal love of daughters, whereby
their father experienced
suicidal ideations thought
to drown his sorrows
overdosing on fen-phen.
A transcendent awakening
occurred within noggin of one simian
a clothed outlier caged within human zoo
predicated upon his overactive imagination
inextricably favorable ratings did woo,
albeit ephemerally savored renown, and true
value viz his great Magnus Opus,
whereby riches couped courtesy
brief brush with fame and glory
found countless people lined in queue
(and moment of morning glory
subsequently slipped
thru gnarly butter fingers
symptomatic of nervousness
exhibited courtesy an aspiring Nehru
case in point my pal Joey, a kangaroo
dear reader pardon
tardy greeting regarding helloo
cuz decided against formalities,
a nonestablishmentarian he doth eschew
no ghostly chance I merely utter boo!
Unlikely I scared
the living daylights out of you,
nor would that be intent
regarding self taught amateur
practitioner of voodoo
I rarely if ever cast spells,
nevertheless yours truly
still under probation
and peer review
so breathe easy, cuz Matthew
Scott Harris would hate
to tarnish reputation of Guru,
that charming humble fellow
he taught me wizardry.