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Best Barracuda Poems | Poetry

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DEEP-FRIED BARRACUDA by naces, romeo
Barracuda Alma by Blakeley, Gail
Fried Barracuda by naces, romeo

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The Best Barracuda Poems

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She's Abusive and That's Conclusive

There was a fussy bovine named Flossy who was snooty and always so bossy her udders would droop when she took a poop She bellowed until her eyes got glossy Flossy had teeth like a barracuda Her biting habit just made her ruder She's not very sharp She spit when she'd harp So I called a few friends and we shewed her Then she threatened to have me arrested Thought she'd beaten me and had me bested Knocked her on her duff She wasn't so tough Alas, she kept right on and protested I saw her on the street the other day Her monstrous butt sat on a bale of hay Stuck her tongue at me Mooed, "Hello, ducky" She trotted off when I aimed pepper spray What a chunky hippo she has become I think Flossy secretly sucks her thumb Waddles when walking Ranting and squawking To senility, Flossy has succumb Bovine creatures can be quite abusive When they should be a closet reclusive The more that they speak The more that they reek My findings are all justly conclusive


Copyright © Lin Lane | Year Posted 2017


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Offshore Fishing Adventure

So far offshore, but nothing was biting

Six-pack behind me looked so inviting

     New rod I placed on the deck

     Though it was just for a sec

‘Twas then an amberjack hit like lightning


The buoyant rod bounded over each wave

Determined, I vowed that pole I would save

     Spun my boat in fit of rage

     Against this fish, war I’d wage

An Ahab-like victory I did crave


With a gaffing hook, I retrieved the pole

To catch amberjack, I’d be on a roll

     Barracuda caught it first

     Fell overboard, then submersed 

The ‘cuda eyed me as his dessert goal



*Entry for Frank's "Summer Memory" contest


Copyright © Carolyn Devonshire | Year Posted 2011


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Which Fish Lures You

It’s said there are many fish in the sea So which type of fish would you choose to be The sharks and jellyfish I would avoid Swimming with dolphins I’ve always enjoyed Tropical river queens are angelfish To mate with one of them, male species wish All fish seem to evade barracuda Even powerful, albacore tuna But of all fish swimming in lakes and seas There’s just one with humor that seeks to please Clownfish perform an amusing sea dance With host fish before they take residence If given my choice, a clownfish I’d be There’s no greater gift than laughter to me
*Written June 30, 2014 http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/f6/Clown_fish_in_the_Anda man_Coral_Reef.jpg


Copyright © Carolyn Devonshire | Year Posted 2014


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If I Were Really Rich

If I were really rich, I would live in beautiful Bermuda,

Sipping rum swizzles and fishing for wily barracuda!

I'd buy a fancy sports car in which to cruise unbound,

And join the Mid-Ocean Club to play a daily golfing round!

I'd own a sailing yacht on which to entertain my friends,

Sailing 'neath moonlit skies as around the isle she wends!

I'd buy a splendid cottage on The Cut in Olde St George's town,

From there to savor dramatic sunsets watching olde Sol go down!

I'd dine on fish and chips at my favorite pub, The White Horse Inn,

Listening to quaint calypso music by the Talbot Brothers therein!

On balmy evenings I'd stroll Old Maids Lane and Shinbone Alley,

And watch the Gombey dancers gyrate as I leisurely dally!

If I were rich I would move there in a trice,

To loll on the pink sandy beaches of that island paradise!

Entry for Mystic Rose's "If You Were Rich Contest"

(11 November 2015)


Copyright © Robert L. Hinshaw | Year Posted 2015


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Playing With Words

I went through the alphabet and wrote the first word that came to mind in alphabetical order then I put them into a poem. I think it’s pretty funny. Read it and reply…

Alternative, Barracuda, Catastrophe, Eventful, Dramatization, Faithful, Gruesome, Harmful, Jubilant, Kaleidoscope, Lemon, Maniac, Norway, Opulent, Precise, Quirky, Resentful, Shameful, Tantalizing, Unfortunate, Victory, Warranted, Xylophone, Yearning,
Zany 
       Playing With Words
As an alternative to dinner 
we decided on the barracuda
which turned out to be a real catastrophe. 
Without a full dramatization
of the eventful season we had, simply put,
we have been forever faithful to the cause.
Albeit gruesome or gross,
there were no concerns of harmful fish bones,
and we were jubilant when we
looked into the kaleidoscope 
to find a lemon yellow redfish 
with the personality of a maniac.
Much to our delight when took the fish to Norway we were
pleasantly surprised at the opulent and fanciful ways of the people.
We were extremely precise in our movements 
around this quirky little town
not wanting to attract any resentful stares
while parading around in our shameful ways with our fish.

Our tantalizing habits drew much scorn
which was an unfortunate way impress others.
We heard a xylophone play in the distance and
had to resist our yearning to
overpower the townspeople with more zany  
written rhetoric.


Copyright © Rochelle Harris | Year Posted 2015


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Barracuda Alma

Alma was a Barracuda, married two times four,
she knew the game, she played so well and never failed to score.

So, when the chance came about to scam a naive Sailor,
she knew she had to do her best to take the drunken whaler.

He told her she would make a fortune taking care of him,
for when he died, there was a prize, though all that seemed so grim.

Alma did not blink an eye or even hesitate,
she took the deal and lead him home to wait, and wait, and wait.
For years he kept on living, amazing her each day.
He must have been one hundred on the eve he passed away.

She shuffled with his papers, searched long throughout  the night.
At last, she found "The treasure" to her unashamed delight.
For there upon the table, an envelope did lay.
The seal was stamped, it looked official, she was finally on her way !

She opened it to see her name, her time had come around.
Alas, She was not mentioned on the paper she had found.
For years she'd taken care of him without a word of scorn.
But in the paper came a photo of a tiny, pink, newborn.

To her dismay, she turned it over, this is what she saw,
shocked, she read the note outloud in disbelief and awe.

"To Timmy. my dear and only son, I find myself ashamed,
that never have I seen you, nor given you my name."

"To you, I leave what all I have, you'll find it all recorded,
to only you, no exception, it will be awarded.
It's at the lawyers' office, not far down the street."
"Forgive me son, my sad regret, we will never meet.

P.S. Avoid Ole' Barracuda Alma, all smiles, a greedy type,
She'll snatch the gold out of your teeth, if she thinks the pickin's ripe.

 Alma ranted, then she raved,
she cursed him in his cold, dark grave.

He fooled her once and  cheated her right to the very end.
"Oh well", she finally whispered, 
"There's ALWAYS time for me to  find a very new, best friend !





Copyright © Gail Blakeley | Year Posted 2010


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Sea Food

.                               
                                Captain Black sailed his ship to Bermuda
                                And vanished one day.  Well.. he shoulda'...
                                Sailed a rectangle
                                Instead of triangles
                                Now he's lunch for a starved barracuda!
                                




For Carolyn's "Limerick Sea Tale" contest


Copyright © Carrie Richards | Year Posted 2010


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DEEP-FRIED BARRACUDA


I'm feelin' real goodah in my bermuda
munching on crisp, deep-fried barracuda.

It amuses me to think that on my plate
pieces of a ferocious predator wait

to be poked and stabbed by my silvery fork.
It could've been me in the jaws of this dork.

Is this the terrible terror of the sea?
Why, in bite-sizes it indeed is tasty,
dipped in sauce of vengeance, great delicacy!


Copyright © romeo naces | Year Posted 2010


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THE ARCHAEOLOGISTS WIFE

THE ARCHAEOLOGIST’S WIFE
Sorry I cannot say her name, you all know her well
She was my brother’s wife at the Kimmerdale
My brother was an archaeologist
He found a pot in Egypt
In Tutankhamen’s chamber
Believe me it was made of amber.

And my brother’s wife, Karen
Her dad came from Ely Arden
Mom from Billy Budd
Brother Tim from Barracks quad
They all are family Barracuda
They pounced on the pot
Sadly, it smelled the rot
In September, 2004
I was on India tour.


What did my brother do?
He crewed on a ship
Crossed the Mediterranean 
And reached Egypt
Met Mr. Hippit
A biologist by profession
After close inspection
He found a predator
Inside the amber
His wife Karen Barracuda Pamber

I heard the story on coming back from India
I gave my brother a Cashmere shawl given by Mr. Scindia 
You all know in the year 2013
He married the daughter of Cruise Martin
Sorry, I cannot say her name you know her well
She was from the family of Rapunzel
Her eyes were amber
Elizabeth Rapunzel Pamber.


Copyright: RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY
7th November,2014






Copyright © RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY | Year Posted 2014


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All

9/9/17


A continual downfall
Daily was at a crawl
From so much alcohol
This problem I'm going to solve
When you keep bringing in the haul
It's sad how many of ya'll
Want to brawl
Just another brick in the wall
I'm out to ball
Unread messages and missed calls
No time to stall
When it's money, I want it all
Got to stack it tall
Not getting involved in anything small

Not pseudo
Numero uno
Out for mucho
Heart colder than pluto

It's like hallelujah
When I get that moola
Here to always outdo ya
Even If I got to use a bazooka
Or put you in waters with shark and barracuda
From here to beyond the Bermuda


Copyright © Dalton Ogletree | Year Posted 2017


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In His Valley The Shadow Of Death

Ten thousand chains their bayonets piercing one's flesh; embedded
Spirit's these devilish hooks bereaved it's mastery ? Gomorrah, enchanted
Of baroque embellished your melodies a millstone, pulling hearts down his barracuda
Come out of Babylon, my child: Goliath, her guilotine and all creation groans their, calvary....
Keen jaeger's armament God'speed extracting thorns entangled time; tis what she's like, entombed.


Copyright © Jeremy Street | Year Posted 2014


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The Sharks and the Baracudas

One calm summer night
I visited the city aquarium and
I noticed the sharks and the barracudas
Playing a lovely game of tennis
Yeah, the sharks and
The Barracudas are just
Sitting around eating
Strawberries and drinking tea
How could this be?
The great white shark called out, "the surf is up!" and
The speedy barracuda replied, "fifteen Luv!"
How could this be?
Suddenly, the sharks and the barracudas
Noticed me standing there, and
Standing on the other side
Well, they all agreed,
If you want to learn how to swim with
The sharks and the barracudas,
First, you must learn how to play the game!
Oh, what a lovely sport it is!
Are you from Essex?
Well Its so lovely there, this time of year.


Copyright © Gregory Golden | Year Posted 2006


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Cowabunga

7/13/17



Cowabunga
I'm coming in with a hunga munga
Near and far from any rotunda
Going in and out the umbra
While close and beyond yucca
Across desert, grassland, forest and tundra

Yargh!
Now I'm wielding a katar
And scimitar
On par
Ready to spar
Time I raise the bar

Hallelujah
Next I'll use the zhua
Above and below plants and fruit trees such as satsuma
Regarding any terrain with or without puma and vicuna
As well as waters that do or don't have tuna, beluga and barracuda
If that doesn't work, then surely will the bazooka


Copyright © Dalton Ogletree | Year Posted 2017


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Drawning

Under the immersion of raging seas
in the middle of the waters unforetold,
My heart is a distant from its desires
and I am overwhelmed

I am succumbing, with fear of the unknowns
Great Barracuda and sea Wales has opened their mouths,
acuminated their teethes to crush my bones,
I am timorous, they want to eat me alive  

The giant waves are pulling me down,
tried to swim but am overpowered
My dreams are flooded and inundated,
the right coming monsoon, the left fearful tempest
with crushing waves and killing storms l close my eyes.

This is me on the edges of my heart
Drowning in an ocean alone


Copyright © Aldreen Munyoro | Year Posted 2016


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I'm Crazy on You-A Tribute to HEART

I’m Crazy on You - A Tribute to HEART

Falling in love is the oldest story in the world.
Alas! I’ve become one of the fallen ones.
Now all I wanna do is make love to you,
in the back seat of your sizzling, red velvet car.

Alas! I’ve become one of the fallen ones.
Magic man, you touched me and I’m under your spell
in the back seat of your sizzling, red velvet car.
Hey you, yes, it’s true, I’m crazy on you.

Magic man, you touched me and I’m under your spell.
Now all I wanna do is make love to you.
Hey you, yes, it’s true, I’m crazy on you.
Falling in love is the oldest story in the world.

Even though you have the heart of a barracuda,
how can I refuse you anything, my love?
You make me love you, baby, and I can’t resist;
I crave your touch and simply can’t get enough.

How can I refuse you anything, my love?
I’ve become obsessed – just a foolish.
I crave your touch and simply can’t get enough.
I just can’t leave you alone, my sweet thing.

I’ve become obsessed – just a foolish fanatic.
You make me love you, baby, and I can’t resist.
I just can’t leave you alone, my sweet thing…
even though you have the heart of a barracuda.


04-14-2018

In this Pantoum, the following song titles by the Rock Band HEART were used:

Oldest Story in the World
Fallen Ones
All I Wanna Do is Make Love to You
Red Velvet Car
Magic Man
Hey You
Crazy on You
Barracuda
How can I refuse
Make Me
Enough
Fanatic
Alone



Copyright © Pandita Sanchez | Year Posted 2018


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Who Need Enemies


Who need enemies
when I have a rat friend like you
My sister tried to warn me,
and my brother did too

They always said at your core,
you were just no good
Listen here you rotten scoundrel:
things I can't do, karma would

Whoa Van Gogh,
are you through,
have you had your say?
Let me straighten the picture,
you got it hanging the wrong way

First of all, I ain't your friend
So don't be looking for me
to get you out the trouble you're in

It was your business partner
who launched that sneak attack
The hostile takeover that's going down

If you was counting on me,
hoping to climb on my back
Cap'n Save 'Em is gonna watch you drown

No worries there, you little weasel,
you can't outfox the bear
I caught the barracuda behind it all,
and you two make a perfect pair

Wish you could've been there
when I made my ex-partner squeal
Miss Piggy went and sold you out,
beat you to that plea bargain deal

Now justice is served,
and you're left holding the bag
You got your first cry,
and I got the last laugh

So everyone consider yourself warned:
You better come as a true friend
'Cause you don't want to be in the place
where all my enemies are in


Copyright © Freddie Robinson Jr. | Year Posted 2016


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Coffee Boy



There’s an important meeting
on the upcoming shark calendar itinerary
A prospectus offer from a suitor company
demands an improper greeting
The boss lady wanna know
who’s gonna lead the negotiating envoy
Carry the corporate banner
for this back channel acquisition ploy
But remember,
this is a clandestine, off-the-books deal
Secret illegal, so keep your lips sealed
Tell the boss barracuda,
I reached down 
to the bottom of the company food chain
And found the right chocolate patsy:
a real clueless, coconut office toy
Lick your fingers, boss lady,
‘cause he’s the yummy dummy almond joy
Without further ado, I present to you
the perfect scapegoat: code name, Gilly Roy
A gullible, low managerial level coffee boy
His stockroom qualifications
makes him the ideal inside trader regulator decoy
Get the shady deal done
without ever dirtying your hands
Have a human wet wipe
erase any evidence of this covert plan
No need to be shy,
no need to act coy
Send the rival Columbians
our very own coffee boy
It’s so Monopoly Machiavellian,
a deep-roasted Boardwalk blend
Send the coffee boy in ... it’s a win, win
If we get caught,
let the coffee boy take the percolated fall
As he drip, drip ... drip
decaffinated details, of which he really don’t know
much of anything at all
We do the poison pill hostile takeover swallow,
then deny any trace of a paper trail that might show
Boss, I betcha pure Peruvian sugar, three lumps to two,
when the Feds come calling ... 
coffee boy is gonna squirt Ecuadoran tears in his brew 
 




Copyright © Freddie Robinson Jr. | Year Posted 2018


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Goodah!


                                  from my veranda

                                           I see a barracuda

                                                   chef at work, goodah!


Copyright © romeo naces | Year Posted 2007


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Fried Barracuda

I'm feelin' strangely goodah
here in Bermuda,

     munching on hot, crispy, 
     deep-fried barracuda;

          it amuses me to think that
          now on my plate

               some pieces of the ferocious
               predator wait

                    to be pushed, poked and stabbed
                    by my silvery fork;

               it could've been me there 
               in the jaws of this dork;

          so, is this the terrible terror
          of the sea?

     why, in bite-sizes it's just 
     pleasantly tasty,

dipped in sauce of vengeance,
such great delicacy!


Copyright © romeo naces | Year Posted 2008


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Invertebrate Indecision



When Miss Doubtfire moved in
to their heart,
she entered dragon tail swinging
Plastered smiling walls of bachelor resistance
got knocked down
at every single candlelight date demolition

And as the henpeck frowns
rose from the rubble,
an arthropodic shell of a man
was kinda ready 
to take a somewhat hard jellyfish stand

But those invertebrate indecisions
would most assuredly get a soft-belly planarian,
a silver hook-thru-the-nose golden band

As the calendar monthly moved closer
to the barracuda tied-knot day,
there was no getting away
from the starfish flip-flop stardust  ... 
betrothed mollusk ...
pillowy, bent-knee promise made

And that melted-butter, ducky vow 
to firmly shut close 
the proposed wedding plans gate ...
it went fence straddling again

With the solo living 
nearing an end ... 
finish line fast approaching — 
That ball-and-chain, bold bunny hop jailbreak 
was docile, turtle slug running late

Now every waffling, pansy beefcake
who dare procrastinate,
gon get the ring finger ‘cuff-link embrace 

Any indecisive invertebrate
who care-free, foolishly hare hesitate
to skip the altar aisle gait — 
They will receive 
a Groundhog Day mirror fate:

Their spineless soul shall wake each morning,
with Little Boy Blue hard eyes ...
gazing steely 
at their shrewish schoolmarm mate

Sadly looking with granite eyes,
at a face 
they’ve come to learn to love to hate


Copyright © Freddie Robinson Jr. | Year Posted 2018


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Liberty Bow Face



Red power mode
White digital
Blue logo

My, oh my ...
sweet apple pie!
Patriotic American cheese is turning sour Kraut commie
Democracy is Wisconsin curdling ... penicillin shot
needed between the ailing ballot box,
sho’ ain’t Louisiana Purchase forthcoming

Lady Liberty is bowing face down, Kansas Toto-style,
to Kremlin oligarchy ...
didn’t take much to bend with Washington wavy subservience

It’s an Idaho russet Ruskie crying shame
Couch the Benedict-ion omelette breaking news:
Missy Freedom done Alaska huskie hussy sold herself 
to be a Soviet satellite skirt muzzled tramp mule

Red power mode 
has taken cyber control of all voter confidence

White digital bar-code
activate the Manchurian self-destruct sequence

Blue logo brand ruble sold,
keeps the general populace straddling the fence

As they reality TV see their loose Lady Liberty
make a Texas loan star barracuda bow face
Proud North Dakota woman bending her knee,
acknowledging her Bolshevik bastard place
It’s a Kentucky bourbon crying shame

Democracy kissing the Politburo Czar ring
Bluegrass filly ruling class
selling the masses out for the Balaam green

Capitol Hill Star Spangled silent gag,
money mutes on a Pavel dog Con-stitutional prostitute
Wavy anthem cloth used as a snot rag,
Molotov noses following the Red Pied Pier booger flute

My, oh my ...
Marx Twain subversive tweet sweet apple pie!
Collaborator citizens being called patriotic comrades
Eating the Stalinist straw buries, 
spit sprinkled with 
Chernobyl pyramid scheme 
propaganda whipped cream
Traitor taste the Taps Blue Fibbing beer, 
free-market funeral dirge price gouge overflowing,
in the white Lenin toe-tag black body bag aisle
While the Ukraine lobbyist piggies
are covetously Crimea coffer crying 

Oh, Nevada bordello bosom alligator weep ... 
let the Alabama tick tears leech flow
down those Florida lemon-squeezed cheeks

It’s a New Mexico caliente green chile crying shame — 
Them neo-Anazazi, gun-clicking squatters 
getting a Wounded Knee ice gulag reservation claim 

Lady Liberty doing an Independence bow face,
it’s a thirteen stripe, Siberian mongrel disgrace


Copyright © Freddie Robinson Jr. | Year Posted 2018


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Caught Undertow



While casual, coral reef cruising, marlin flygirl fishing,
my dinghy eyes got capsized 
into the shimmy-ing belly of a barracuda
Crustacean curiosity got sent on an abdominal mission

My dinghy eyes got capsized ... 
chum dummy fell overboard into the deep end
Lost in an ocean of pulse infatuation,
sponge orbitals didn’t realize

Into the shimmy-ing belly of a barracuda,
blubbering thoughts have taken infirm control of me
Spawn desires swimming upstream,
chasing a she-devil in a triangle Bermuda

Crustacean curiosity got sent on an abdominal mission,
found out the aorta pearl was inside a zircon clam
Mystery lust algae dragged my ego undertow ...
While casual, coral reef cruising, marlin flygirl fishing

  


Copyright © Freddie Robinson Jr. | Year Posted 2018