There was a fussy bovine named Flossy
who was snooty and always so bossy
her udders would droop
when she took a poop
She bellowed until her eyes got glossy
Flossy had teeth like a barracuda
Her biting habit just made her ruder
She's not very sharp
She spit when she'd harp
So I called a few friends and we shewed her
Then she threatened to have me arrested
Thought she'd beaten me and had me bested
Knocked her on her duff
She wasn't so tough
Alas, she kept right on and protested
I saw her on the street the other day
Her monstrous butt sat on a bale of hay
Stuck her tongue at me
Mooed, "Hello, ducky"
She trotted off when I aimed pepper spray
What a chunky hippo she has become
I think Flossy secretly sucks her thumb
Waddles when walking
Ranting and squawking
To senility, Flossy has succumb
Bovine creatures can be quite abusive
When they should be a closet reclusive
The more that they speak
The more that they reek
My findings are all justly conclusive
Copyright © Lin Lane | Year Posted 2017
So far offshore, but nothing was biting
Six-pack behind me looked so inviting
New rod I placed on the deck
Though it was just for a sec
‘Twas then an amberjack hit like lightning
The buoyant rod bounded over each wave
Determined, I vowed that pole I would save
Spun my boat in fit of rage
Against this fish, war I’d wage
An Ahab-like victory I did crave
With a gaffing hook, I retrieved the pole
To catch amberjack, I’d be on a roll
Barracuda caught it first
Fell overboard, then submersed
The ‘cuda eyed me as his dessert goal
*Entry for Frank's "Summer Memory" contest
Copyright © Carolyn Devonshire | Year Posted 2011
It’s said there are many fish in the sea
So which type of fish would you choose to be
The sharks and jellyfish I would avoid
Swimming with dolphins I’ve always enjoyed
Tropical river queens are angelfish
To mate with one of them, male species wish
All fish seem to evade barracuda
Even powerful, albacore tuna
But of all fish swimming in lakes and seas
There’s just one with humor that seeks to please
Clownfish perform an amusing sea dance
With host fish before they take residence
If given my choice, a clownfish I’d be
There’s no greater gift than laughter to me
*Written June 30, 2014
Copyright © Carolyn Devonshire | Year Posted 2014
If I were really rich, I would live in beautiful Bermuda,
Sipping rum swizzles and fishing for wily barracuda!
I'd buy a fancy sports car in which to cruise unbound,
And join the Mid-Ocean Club to play a daily golfing round!
I'd own a sailing yacht on which to entertain my friends,
Sailing 'neath moonlit skies as around the isle she wends!
I'd buy a splendid cottage on The Cut in Olde St George's town,
From there to savor dramatic sunsets watching olde Sol go down!
I'd dine on fish and chips at my favorite pub, The White Horse Inn,
Listening to quaint calypso music by the Talbot Brothers therein!
On balmy evenings I'd stroll Old Maids Lane and Shinbone Alley,
And watch the Gombey dancers gyrate as I leisurely dally!
If I were rich I would move there in a trice,
To loll on the pink sandy beaches of that island paradise!
Entry for Mystic Rose's "If You Were Rich Contest"
(11 November 2015)
Copyright © Robert L. Hinshaw | Year Posted 2015
I went through the alphabet and wrote the first word that came to mind in alphabetical order then I put them into a poem. I think it’s pretty funny. Read it and reply…
Alternative, Barracuda, Catastrophe, Eventful, Dramatization, Faithful, Gruesome, Harmful, Jubilant, Kaleidoscope, Lemon, Maniac, Norway, Opulent, Precise, Quirky, Resentful, Shameful, Tantalizing, Unfortunate, Victory, Warranted, Xylophone, Yearning,
Playing With Words
As an alternative to dinner
we decided on the barracuda
which turned out to be a real catastrophe.
Without a full dramatization
of the eventful season we had, simply put,
we have been forever faithful to the cause.
Albeit gruesome or gross,
there were no concerns of harmful fish bones,
and we were jubilant when we
looked into the kaleidoscope
to find a lemon yellow redfish
with the personality of a maniac.
Much to our delight when took the fish to Norway we were
pleasantly surprised at the opulent and fanciful ways of the people.
We were extremely precise in our movements
around this quirky little town
not wanting to attract any resentful stares
while parading around in our shameful ways with our fish.
Our tantalizing habits drew much scorn
which was an unfortunate way impress others.
We heard a xylophone play in the distance and
had to resist our yearning to
overpower the townspeople with more zany
Copyright © Rochelle Harris | Year Posted 2015
Alma was a Barracuda, married two times four,
she knew the game, she played so well and never failed to score.
So, when the chance came about to scam a naive Sailor,
she knew she had to do her best to take the drunken whaler.
He told her she would make a fortune taking care of him,
for when he died, there was a prize, though all that seemed so grim.
Alma did not blink an eye or even hesitate,
she took the deal and lead him home to wait, and wait, and wait.
For years he kept on living, amazing her each day.
He must have been one hundred on the eve he passed away.
She shuffled with his papers, searched long throughout the night.
At last, she found "The treasure" to her unashamed delight.
For there upon the table, an envelope did lay.
The seal was stamped, it looked official, she was finally on her way !
She opened it to see her name, her time had come around.
Alas, She was not mentioned on the paper she had found.
For years she'd taken care of him without a word of scorn.
But in the paper came a photo of a tiny, pink, newborn.
To her dismay, she turned it over, this is what she saw,
shocked, she read the note outloud in disbelief and awe.
"To Timmy. my dear and only son, I find myself ashamed,
that never have I seen you, nor given you my name."
"To you, I leave what all I have, you'll find it all recorded,
to only you, no exception, it will be awarded.
It's at the lawyers' office, not far down the street."
"Forgive me son, my sad regret, we will never meet.
P.S. Avoid Ole' Barracuda Alma, all smiles, a greedy type,
She'll snatch the gold out of your teeth, if she thinks the pickin's ripe.
Alma ranted, then she raved,
she cursed him in his cold, dark grave.
He fooled her once and cheated her right to the very end.
"Oh well", she finally whispered,
"There's ALWAYS time for me to find a very new, best friend !
Copyright © Gail Blakeley | Year Posted 2010
Captain Black sailed his ship to Bermuda
And vanished one day. Well.. he shoulda'...
Sailed a rectangle
Instead of triangles
Now he's lunch for a starved barracuda!
For Carolyn's "Limerick Sea Tale" contest
Copyright © Carrie Richards | Year Posted 2010
I'm feelin' real goodah in my bermuda
munching on crisp, deep-fried barracuda.
It amuses me to think that on my plate
pieces of a ferocious predator wait
to be poked and stabbed by my silvery fork.
It could've been me in the jaws of this dork.
Is this the terrible terror of the sea?
Why, in bite-sizes it indeed is tasty,
dipped in sauce of vengeance, great delicacy!
Copyright © romeo naces | Year Posted 2010
Ten thousand chains their bayonets piercing one's flesh; embedded
Spirit's these devilish hooks bereaved it's mastery ? Gomorrah, enchanted
Of baroque embellished your melodies a millstone, pulling hearts down his barracuda
Come out of Babylon, my child: Goliath, her guilotine and all creation groans their, calvary....
Keen jaeger's armament God'speed extracting thorns entangled time; tis what she's like, entombed.
Copyright © Jeremy Street | Year Posted 2014
THE ARCHAEOLOGIST’S WIFE
Sorry I cannot say her name, you all know her well
She was my brother’s wife at the Kimmerdale
My brother was an archaeologist
He found a pot in Egypt
In Tutankhamen’s chamber
Believe me it was made of amber.
And my brother’s wife, Karen
Her dad came from Ely Arden
Mom from Billy Budd
Brother Tim from Barracks quad
They all are family Barracuda
They pounced on the pot
Sadly, it smelled the rot
In September, 2004
I was on India tour.
What did my brother do?
He crewed on a ship
Crossed the Mediterranean
And reached Egypt
Met Mr. Hippit
A biologist by profession
After close inspection
He found a predator
Inside the amber
His wife Karen Barracuda Pamber
I heard the story on coming back from India
I gave my brother a Cashmere shawl given by Mr. Scindia
You all know in the year 2013
He married the daughter of Cruise Martin
Sorry, I cannot say her name you know her well
She was from the family of Rapunzel
Her eyes were amber
Elizabeth Rapunzel Pamber.
Copyright: RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY
Copyright © RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY | Year Posted 2014
One calm summer night
I visited the city aquarium and
I noticed the sharks and the barracudas
Playing a lovely game of tennis
Yeah, the sharks and
The Barracudas are just
Sitting around eating
Strawberries and drinking tea
How could this be?
The great white shark called out, "the surf is up!" and
The speedy barracuda replied, "fifteen Luv!"
How could this be?
Suddenly, the sharks and the barracudas
Noticed me standing there, and
Standing on the other side
Well, they all agreed,
If you want to learn how to swim with
The sharks and the barracudas,
First, you must learn how to play the game!
Oh, what a lovely sport it is!
Are you from Essex?
Well Its so lovely there, this time of year.
Copyright © Gregory Golden | Year Posted 2006
A continual downfall
Daily was at a crawl
From so much alcohol
This problem I'm going to solve
When you keep bringing in the haul
It's sad how many of ya'll
Want to brawl
Just another brick in the wall
I'm out to ball
Unread messages and missed calls
No time to stall
When it's money, I want it all
Got to stack it tall
Not getting involved in anything small
Out for mucho
Heart colder than pluto
It's like hallelujah
When I get that moola
Here to always outdo ya
Even If I got to use a bazooka
Or put you in waters with shark and barracuda
From here to beyond the Bermuda
Copyright © Dalton Ogletree | Year Posted 2017
Under the immersion of raging seas
in the middle of the waters unforetold,
My heart is a distant from its desires
and I am overwhelmed
I am succumbing, with fear of the unknowns
Great Barracuda and sea Wales has opened their mouths,
acuminated their teethes to crush my bones,
I am timorous, they want to eat me alive
The giant waves are pulling me down,
tried to swim but am overpowered
My dreams are flooded and inundated,
the right coming monsoon, the left fearful tempest
with crushing waves and killing storms l close my eyes.
This is me on the edges of my heart
Drowning in an ocean alone
Copyright © Aldreen Munyoro | Year Posted 2016
I'm coming in with a hunga munga
Near and far from any rotunda
Going in and out the umbra
While close and beyond yucca
Across desert, grassland, forest and tundra
Now I'm wielding a katar
Ready to spar
Time I raise the bar
Next I'll use the zhua
Above and below plants and fruit trees such as satsuma
Regarding any terrain with or without puma and vicuna
As well as waters that do or don't have tuna, beluga and barracuda
If that doesn't work, then surely will the bazooka
Copyright © Dalton Ogletree | Year Posted 2017
Who need enemies
when I have a rat friend like you
My sister tried to warn me,
and my brother did too
They always said at your core,
you were just no good
Listen here you rotten scoundrel:
things I can't do, karma would
Whoa Van Gogh,
are you through,
have you had your say?
Let me straighten the picture,
you got it hanging the wrong way
First of all, I ain't your friend
So don't be looking for me
to get you out the trouble you're in
It was your business partner
who launched that sneak attack
The hostile takeover that's going down
If you was counting on me,
hoping to climb on my back
Cap'n Save 'Em is gonna watch you drown
No worries there, you little weasel,
you can't outfox the bear
I caught the barracuda behind it all,
and you two make a perfect pair
Wish you could've been there
when I made my ex-partner squeal
Miss Piggy went and sold you out,
beat you to that plea bargain deal
Now justice is served,
and you're left holding the bag
You got your first cry,
and I got the last laugh
So everyone consider yourself warned:
You better come as a true friend
'Cause you don't want to be in the place
where all my enemies are in
Copyright © Freddie Robinson Jr. | Year Posted 2016
from my veranda
I see a barracuda
chef at work, goodah!
Copyright © romeo naces | Year Posted 2007
I'm feelin' strangely goodah
here in Bermuda,
munching on hot, crispy,
it amuses me to think that
now on my plate
some pieces of the ferocious
to be pushed, poked and stabbed
by my silvery fork;
it could've been me there
in the jaws of this dork;
so, is this the terrible terror
of the sea?
why, in bite-sizes it's just
dipped in sauce of vengeance,
such great delicacy!
Copyright © romeo naces | Year Posted 2008