Best Attempting Poems
Funny thought.... chiwuawa bites a man's boot without said man knowing the dog was even there....dog ends up with doggie dentures....the owner sues said man for cruelty to animals....case denied when his boot was put on display with teeth still embedded in the bite marks....evidence shows that the dog was suffering from gum disease. The judge ruled that the owner of the boot could collect fees for tooth extractions!!
Categories:
attempting, animals, funny, dog, dog,
Form:
Light Verse
attempting to make
model aeroplanes - -
super glued fingers
modern haiku
Categories:
attempting, art,
Form:
Haiku
My cousin from Britain wanted the American experience... (I gave her a Twinkie)
Some bloke on Facebook said I was dum and I mailed him a dictionary
I ran out of tissues watching Titanic... (I guess laughter does birth a river)
The Queen went to the loo after a game of poker... (safe to assume that she had a Royal Flush)
A girl whispered seductively "I'll be counting the minutes until you return". The fool pointed out she could use a clock instead.
There's no such thing as a self-centered midget... (how could he ever climb such a high horse?)
I posted a picture of scotch broom and my uncle said "Of gorse it is!"
My cat ran to the river and was never found again... (must have been the cattails)
I never thought I'd stoop to botany jokes, but it's always nice to have a daff
Categories:
attempting, humorous, cousin,
Form:
Free verse
There's no I in team, but if you're clever you can a find a "me"
I ran a home-run, and the whole crowd followed my lead... (my parents thought it cute naming me Forrest)
He was counting his doll collection, using the letters of the alphabet, and couldn't make it pass the Y chromosome
I received a two page text and immediately knew its gender... (the majority of it was exclamation points)
That girl's my soul mate... (which means she finds my missing soles in the most peculiar places)
I'd get into the meat of the issue, except I'm a vegetarian
He stepped on a goathead then passed out... (that goat was MAD!)
I saw a shooting star, then ran the other way... (just barely missing Chuck Norris's bullets)
He was just bright-eyed and bushy tailed... had nothing to do with last night's party
It's true, two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do
Inspired by Tim Ryerson's poem, Somewhat Twisted Thoughts of the Day
Categories:
attempting, humorous, missing, missing, ,
Form:
Free verse
Earthworm-like twins, parallel to
one another
quivering and both equally
yearning to explore
the others skin.
Tension-free, nervousness leaves
in that moment
I remember the Butterflies
and the Finger-tip tickle skinsation.
Categories:
attempting, life
Form:
Free verse
Free to be an owl-
Nightmarish clues at dawn-
The sunrise 'death distorting
A kind and lonely soul.
Free to kill for hunger
In moonlight's smiling poison.
The lasting dream re-occurring
A hummingbird in prison.
Free to be mysterious-
Lethal games with mice.
Repulsing limbs accusing
The need to throw the dice.
The blinds are shut forever,
Maternal instincts cry.
Free to kill the echo...
The bird will ever fly?
Categories:
attempting, life, nature, social
Form:
Quatrain
Mister, my dog love
always rushes to greet me
with wagging tail joy
his body shakes like crazy
you think he will break apart.
Categories:
attempting, animals, funny, love,
Form:
Tanka
A rat, a mat, an extra large sleeping bag, and a sofa went to a swimming pool and dived in head first. Never mind the salad dressing shouted the orchestra audience from the balconies. Vast crowds. Vast castle crossroads. Strings, skins and buttons roared in agreement. That tannoy announcement was so correct and ensured gold medals for all competitors. Oh wow and a massive cow. Personified petrified pickle. Sta.singing dingys in questionable quotation queues. And arts of a foremost tongue are felt in the gentle rolling hills which were nevertheless seemingly bright and beautiful. So go bury eighty three times in a swirling swamp. Dig no division dog dream drams. And a crane of crockery is a crocodile in a cradle. Hahah an basket brought boiling broth. Trepid tantalisation terrapins Xxxxx
Categories:
attempting, aubade,
Form:
Satirical Journal Entry #1
Attempting Suicide:
Just The Beginning!
If I killed myself today would anyone notice? Would anyone be at my
funeral?
If so, would they come just ot give themselves peace(piece) of mind over
all the things they took from me?
I guess better late than never!
Hmmm..........
A corpse could always use a loan or a shoulder to cry on.
I wonder how I would be dressed?
Ah....... maybe somehow right before I die I could mangle my face so my casket would stay closed.
-Less opportunity for more disappointment that way.
If I killed myself today all chaos in my mind would end.
I would be in hell for sure
but I know that all this torture on earth would be forgotten.
Yet one question still remains.
Is it worth the damnation?
Yes! I am a selfish !
Categories:
attempting, funeral, funny, humor, satire,
Form:
Elegy
soft to the touch
your return is so addictive yet so right
i am reborn here
you grind so thoroughly over me
tears are a new ocean with all impurities swept clean
oh how i missed how you knew me
oh how i missed how you responded to my knowing you
maybe after this reunion we will show how we both have learned to be more honest with our feelings and ourselves
this is only the removal of the bookmark
it is up to us to turn to the next page and write the rest of the chapters as we truly want them to go
perhaps our current, continuing story will alas be....soft to the telling....in smooth motion
Categories:
attempting, future, growth, i love
Form:
Free verse
May we be blessed to acknowledge all the wonders in our life
that have, for us, thus far accrued…
and to begin each day with a word of thanks…
and thoughts of gratitude.
Today I’m thankful for attempting to live a life with a minimum of regret
for trying never do anything I’d want desperately to forget
This reasoning comes from Ranata Suzuki
a poet who endeavors
to remind us how regret is a short word
and yet it stretches on forever
Categories:
attempting, life,
Form:
Rhyme
a pink sky pinker than any other sky I’ve ever seen
no one will believe it I thought so I took photos
One after another, but none could hope to capture it
For it was more than three dimensional, it was surreal dimensional
I gave up after the sixty-eighth disappointment
It looks cold out there my husband said, snuggled in his Lazy-Boy.
It is, I agreed, but worth it for it is so beautiful.
I thought you were not supposed to go out because of your asthma
I have a little doctor’s excuse about that because it is true.
I am not able to breathe well in less than thirty degrees
I went out anyway, and I stayed out
Trying to get the picture
Which I never got
Because this is
the pinkest
sky in the world
and I am that
photographer.
Categories:
attempting, art, sky,
Form:
Prose Poetry
bird-speak is inexplicably complicated
I try to imitate it, but unsuccessfully
it is impossible without a beak
a mouth cannot replicate these sounds
I dare not try to decipher their meaning
without benefit of mimicry
Categories:
attempting, bird,
Form:
Free verse