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Attempting One-Liners Again

My cousin from Britain wanted the American experience... (I gave her a Twinkie)
Some bloke on Facebook said I was dum and I mailed him a dictionary
I ran out of tissues watching Titanic... (I guess laughter does birth a river)
The Queen went to the loo after a game of poker... (safe to assume that she had a Royal Flush)
A girl whispered seductively "I'll be counting the minutes until you return". The fool pointed out she could use a clock instead.
There's no such thing as a self-centered midget... (how could he ever climb such a high horse?)
I posted a picture of scotch broom and my uncle said "Of gorse it is!"
My cat ran to the river and was never found again... (must have been the cattails)
I never thought I'd stoop to botany jokes, but it's always nice to have a daff

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Richard D Seal

Date: 4/30/2013 6:41:00 PM

Obviously the corn grows high in your part of the world Tim lol. but these were very good, I could almost imagine Richard Prior, well, almost lol. Nice to see this side of you. Take care, Richard

Timothy Hicks
Date: 4/30/2013 11:18:00 PM

Well Idaho is a pretty low-population place, I'm not gonna lie. Some of this is actually very true though... My uncle really did say "of gorse it is" after posting a picture of some flowers, I thought were scotch broom... and I really DO have a cousin from Britain.

Douglas Fulghum

Date: 4/16/2013 6:04:00 PM

A good sense of humor...........Priceless. Thanks for all your comments Timothy, it is greatly appreciated. Doug

Timothy Hicks
Date: 4/17/2013 12:59:00 AM

No problems Doug! I appreciate you reading mine as well :)

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 4/16/2013 5:23:00 PM

these were amusing, Did you invent them all yourself!!

Timothy Hicks
Date: 4/17/2013 12:59:00 AM

Yes and no. The only about my uncle is actually a true story, so I thought I'd add it to the list. And I really do have a cousin from Britain (though I never personally gave her a Twinkie). But yeah... these are from my own imagination...