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Best Airing Dirty Laundry Poems | Poetry

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The Best Airing Dirty Laundry Poems

Details | Airing Dirty Laundry Poem | Create an image from this poem.

I don't know why Cliches are Bad

Every poet worth their sault
Every teacher and professor declare you will prove to be as dense as a London fog
Using clichés
But I think clichés make it clear as the nose on your face
That there are things as beautiful as the day is long
And as far as the eye can see
As many to enjoy as there are chins in a Chinese phone book
So my advice to young writers,
From time to time abandon the ship USS Proper Expression
Be above board
Do an about face
Make clear as a bell
That a rose by any other name does still smell as sweet
That absence still makes the heart grow founder
Airing dirty laundry is a no no
And if you must have an ace up your writer's sleeve
Let it be a cliché!

Copyright © Americo Petrocelli | Year Posted 2016

Details | Airing Dirty Laundry Poem | Create an image from this poem.

Jeremey Kyle

In the morning I watch old Jeremy Kyle 
I sit I listen have a laugh and a smile
For the lives of those on this show are tawdry
As they sit on T. V. airing dirty laundry

They leave loads of messages on that Facebook
They have the texts he can take a look
Well, well, well put something on the end of it
After the lie detector results they are all having a fit

When paternity is between just two blokes 
Then neither is the father it’s no flipping joke
She says she has not slept with anyone else at all
She must be joking I hear you all call

Someone has stolen my money from me
I brought them along it is one of the three
But not one of them did it so where did it go
I hope we find out on a later show

They call it a full house hear Jeremy say
You’re the dad you have to pay
A contact centre for a start
To show the kid you have a heart

The addicts and alcoholics he helps to get clean
With help from our genius Graham and his wonderful team
So if you get up and you’re feeling up tight
Just watch the kylester for he makes mornings bright

Englands answer to an agony aunt an agony uncle coming to a television near you soon.

Copyright © Owen Yeates | Year Posted 2012