Ambassadorship Poems


A Crisis Averted

The President is facing a dilemma:
should he try to remove a pickle from his left ear?

He phoned the caveman for advice,
the phone is answered by his hairy wife,
upon hearing of the Presidents pickle situation
she replied tartly,
“You should eat only broccoli and kale,
and avoid the fatty parts of the whale.”

The president is clearly shaken.
He bestows upon the hairy, caveman’s wife
an ambassadorship to the North Pole.

The caveman’s wife merely grunts, then:
“And take that pickle out of your stupid ear!”

“Neanderthals,” he mutters reaching for the ketchup;
“can’t live with them; can’t live without them.
Categories: ambassadorship, poetry,
Form: Free verse

Cave Life

A cave man cometh.
His strong meat chomping life,
with his hairy wife.

When hairy wife
cometh home bearing berries,
caveman knocks her over the noggin.

Back in the Whitehouse
the President is facing a dilemma;
should he try to remove the pickle
from his left ear?

He phones the caveman for advice;
the phone is answered by his hairy wife,
she replies tartly that he should eat
only broccoli and kale.

The president is clearly shaken.
He bestows upon the hairy, caveman’s wife
an ambassadorship to Greenland
in perpetuity.

“Darn vegetarian Neanderthals,” he mutters,
reaching for the ketchup.
Categories: ambassadorship, poetry,
Form: Free verse


Cave Life

A cave man cometh.
His strong meat chomping life,
his hairy wife.

Legend has it, that when hairy wife 
returned home bearing berries,
caveman knocked her over the noggin
with a toy club, bought at Walmart.

Back in the Whitehouse
the President is facing a dilemma;
should he remove the pickle
and the lettuce from his cheeseburger?

He phones old caveman for advice.
The phone is answered by the hairy wife.
She say’s he should eat kale.

The president is clearly shaken.
He turns to the First Lady
   she is not there,
she in the garden picking berries.

The President makes an executive decision;
he bestow upon the hairy cave wife
an ambassadorship to Greenland
in perpetuity.

“That should do it”, he mutters,
reaching for the ketchup.
Categories: ambassadorship, poetry,
Form: Blank verse
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