Sonnet Humorous Poems | Sonnet Poems About Humorous

These Sonnet Humorous poems are examples of Sonnet poems about Humorous. These are the best examples of Sonnet Humorous poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

If you don't find the poem you want here, try our incredible, super duper, all-knowing, advanced poem search engine.

Details | Sonnet |

Teacher's Pet

As I look back, it all seems funny now
Recalling all those awkward teen age years
I pushed the limits farther than allowed
Supposedly when young, we had no fears

Infatuation caught me with the blues
My heart was swollen by love's gentle sting
It was a crush that only left a bruise
Left by the diamond in her wedding ring

The first day I laid eyes on her, I fell
The lightning bolt she was, that shook my world
And to this day I swear I'd know her smell
Could she have read my mind, she'd likely hurled

I hated school but never missed her class
She said she loved me 'cause I made her laugh

  original poem by Daniel Turner

Copyright © Daniel Turner | Year Posted 2016

Details | Sonnet |

59 and Knocking Wood

Eight decades and a half "young" is my mom.
Nine years and half a century am I.
How quickly I have aged gives me a qualm,
but one good thing - I now CAN'T multiply!

And right behind my mom I'm following. . .
The white hairs keep appearing; it's with dread
I picture myself one day swallowing
my food with dentures stuck inside my head!

Mom always was athletic till her knees
gave out. . . so walking fast she does no more.
But luckily, she has no grave disease.
I think she just too often scrubbed the floor!

Well, I don't "stoop" to drudgery. Knock wood!
At least my knees might possibly stay good.

For the Humorous Poetry Contest of Thomas Martin

Copyright © Andrea Dietrich | Year Posted 2015

Details | Italian Sonnet |

Santa's Favorite - Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer

Santa Claus has travel worries at the North Pole,
With terrible winter storms brewing there afoot,
He knows Christmas is so close and so he must put
His children first now whom he loves deeply and whole! 
And so he must find red-nosed Rudolph to cajole
Him into guid’n his sleigh on Christmas Eve to boot,
For this would bring his kids so much joy—what a hoot!   
Rudolph’s red nose bright guiding them from the North Pole! 

Rudolph leads Santa’s reindeer on Christmas Eve Night,
While all shout out with joy on this blessed holy night!
Santa’s reindeer love Rudolph in equal measure,
For with him they won’t be lost—oh what a pleasure!
Rudolph’s glowing red nose shines now ever so bright,
As we all with Santa celebrate the Lord’s night!

Gary Bateman, Copyright © All Rights Reserved, (December 12, 2014) 
(Petrarchan Sonnet poetic format in Iambic Hexameter)

Copyright © Gary Bateman | Year Posted 2014

Details | Sonnet |


Why does a child have to go to school?
Why do we have to spend so much time working?
This seems simply cruel.
Isn't it just irking?

Some people say school is important for learning
Couldn't a child learn on their own?
It would cause much less yearning,
After all, we can learn from our phones.

I can somewhat see a parents point in sending their child to school.
But why would you choose what we wear?
It just allows us to look like fools,
We may as well come to school bear.

As you can see school is not fair,
So please don’t force us to go if you care.

Copyright © Annika Johnson | Year Posted 2013

Details | Iambic Pentameter |

Sonnet Chiweenie Boo

Your dad, a Dachshund once stuck in Chihuahua.
The best of both in you, with that expectant
Confusing carpets for the lawn enigma.
I know….the raining….getting wet….you can’t.

As coldness chills the room, a sheet for you.
The perfect tucking of in, but you moved!
I ponder, just how crazy is my Boo?
The sheet’s thread count too low to be approved?

Your dance in circles, spinning on the floor.
Rewards and treasures known upon the racks.
Induced by meals and that one pantry door.   
In such a fury, choking on the snacks.

I know what God’s book says, I’ve searched it whole.
But still, I hope you have a little soul.


Copyright © rob carmack | Year Posted 2014

Details | Italian Sonnet |


I never enter every contest on soup Sometimes sponsors can be very hard to please Achieving first place is not always a breeze Some don’t like me writing poems about poop Yet every person is unique in our group Some wonderful poets with great expertise Writing different forms with consummate ease To be skilled like them then I’d be cock a hoop Yet people moan when they don’t get a high place Think their poetry is much better than 'mine' Tell the sponsors their judgment is a disgrace It saddens me their feelings are so malign Criticise until they are blue in the face For each of us thinks our poems are divine Written after reading Tommy Boy's recent blog Jan Allison N/A in contest judged on 20th November Submitted to trashed #4 sponsored by Broken Wings 10~17~15 Italian Sonnet - Rhyme Scheme - abbaabba cdcdcd

Copyright © JAN ALLISON | Year Posted 2015

Details | Italian Sonnet |


It's Halloween, that spooky time of year, when scary monsters prowl the streets all night. The costumes sometimes give us such a fright - our heads with trepidation fill with fear, but light the candles then they disappear. Young children's faces shining with delight, lit up by pumpkin lantern's glowing light; with bags of candy kids run off and cheer. Some teenage children take it all too far and play their tricks when they don't get a treat. I find smashed eggs upon my house and car, then I use language I should not repeat! Next year I'll have my front door just ajar and wear a white face pack and old bed sheet. 10~23~15 Italian Sonnet - abbaabba cdcdcd Contest: Mad as a Hornet Sponsor: John Lawless Entered into Halloween Contest Sponsored by Nayda Ivette Negron

Copyright © JAN ALLISON | Year Posted 2015

Details | Italian Sonnet |

For Linda Poet Destroyer

Oh hearken to me Destroyer of Poets
With heart in hand I declare my feelings
Without pretentiousness humbly kneeling
Thou art the greatest and now I show it
In verse for all so they shall to know it
My desire for you I've been concealing
Conversations with you left me reeling
I'm amazed how you remain so stoic
So beautiful, so gracious, and funny
Promptly greeting then eating newcomers
Wittiness and charm forever ascends
You cast the longest shadow when sunny
And call out those duplicitous bummers
I'm glad we've decided to be good friends

     Italian Sonnet  rhyme scheme abba  abba  cde  cde
   an original poem by the "poemdog"  Daniel Turner
              For my friend Linda  "Poet Destroyer"

Copyright © Daniel Turner | Year Posted 2016

Details | Sonnet |


My beautiful hair is now turning grey - a sign of age that I cannot deny. But I’ll fight it until my dying day … I have huge stocks of my titian hair dye! My waterworks don’t behave as they should, I laugh or sneeze and I dribble some wee. Pelvic exercises don’t do much good - I wear ‘Depends’ pads that no one can see! My memory is now getting quite bad I repeat words, I repeat words I say. As long as I live I’ll be very glad … until they carry my coffin away! Failing health and faculties, are my fears I may live to regret my twilight years! A fictional write – I am admitting to nothing apart from dyeing my hair !!! Which of the four would you choose Contest Sponsored by Sara Kendrick 08~21~16

Copyright © JAN ALLISON | Year Posted 2016

Details | Sonnet |


I wore my pretty pink dress; you told me I looked quite divine. Nervously I walk through the door, your ma wails like a banshee, but I clear my dry throat and try to talk. A spotlight shines brightly over my head - it's just like an interrogation! Quick questions fired like bullets fill me with dread; I want to run from the room and be sick Your mother is a monster! I pity you; and loathe the way she silenced your dad! Please come and live with me in the city or move into your own bachelor pad One day she could be my mother in law, I must zip my lip, or it could be war! S Form Contest Sponsored by Broken Wings Sonnet – 10 syllables per line, Scary theme chosen 07-22-17

Copyright © JAN ALLISON | Year Posted 2017

Details | Sonnet |


WHEN A MAN LOVES A WOMAN Jim’s fallen head over heels for a girl, He’s forgotten his mates; they’re in limbo One whiff of her scent, his head’s in a whirl But why did he choose Sue THAT blonde bimbo? Like a shadow they are never apart Stuck together tightly with superglue This bleached blonde airhead has stolen his heart Jim bade all his old friends a fond adieu Every single day they are together Still they only have eyes for each other Arms wrapped around her, true love forever Jim wears jumpers knitted by his lover! On bended knee Jim gives Sue a huge ring He splashed all his cash to buy her some bling WHEN A WOMAN LOVES A MAN Sue won’t hear a bad word about her Jim, with rose coloured glasses, Sue is blinkered He lets out huge farts, but Sue will just grin She just giggles and calls him a stinkard! Jim snores like a steam train, he never halts Sue turns over and pulls up the covers She totally ignores all of Jim’s faults They’re besotted since they became lovers Jim’s mates pity him; he’s under the thumb With a ring on her finger Sue’s smiling They are contented and Jim’s never glum Sue adores him; she thinks he’s beguiling Forever in love through good times and bad Sue chose Jim because he looks like her dad! Two English Sonnets Contest Sponsored by Mark Massey Two Sonnets written with my sincere apologies to the Bard! Checked with how many syllables 10 per line 12~14~16

Copyright © JAN ALLISON | Year Posted 2016

Details | Sonnet |

Medical Findings

There was an old man, to the doctor he went
He needed advice, he needed to vent
He read that he mustn’t have too much to eat
Or his good health, that would surely defeat.

No sugar, but substitutes would be fine
No diet drinks, or beer, or even wine
He stressed out and tried to listen so well
And followed the book, as his friends would tell.

His entire life was spent planning each day
While following every word “they” would say
Then he developed all manner of “ill”
Was sure he was dying against his will.

An autopsy was done, a finding found…
His constant worry put him in the ground!

Copyright © Betty Janko | Year Posted 2017

Details | Sonnet |


My heart is heavy; I’m feeling so sad, in recent contests I have failed to place. I don’t think my work is really that bad So I will keep a huge smile on my face! Perhaps the sponsor just had a bad day or with their partner they had a big row; Yet my name’s not there; what more can I say, should I give up and cease writing right now? Brenda wants us to write her a sonnet, Yikes, I’m darn useless at writing that form I must not get a bee in my bonnet I’ll try to make sonnet writing my norm. Yes, I’ll persevere and sometimes I’ll win, If I fail ... I’ll swig a huge glass of gin! Disappointment Contest Sponsored by Brenda Chiri A tongue firmly in cheek poem ! 10 syllables per line (N B really counted as 2 syllables) 09-13-17

Copyright © JAN ALLISON | Year Posted 2017

Details | Sonnet |

A Poets Dilemma

Your pen is poised, eager to create
The paper lays ready, it can’t wait
Searching your mind for inspiration
Emotion soars with anticipation…

Looking around, you search for a spark
You hear the sweet singing of a lark
Out your window, squirrels are playing
And leaves flutter on branches swaying…

The smell of coffee, a breakfast scone
An urge to write like you’ve never known
As you sit quietly in your soft chair
There must be inspiration somewhere…

Coffees gone, and no more muffin
Alas, I’ll admit… “I got nothin’”

Copyright © Betty Janko | Year Posted 2016

Details | Sonnet |

Out On A Limb

Hitch-hiking on the road of yellow bricks
I took a chance upon a passing whim
It ferried me where thins grow out from thickes
Turns out, I found myself out on a limb

Imagine, on a limb and at my age
How could I get my feet back on the ground
My first instinct was fly into a rage
A brainstorm came and all my anger drowned

Yet this was not my first time on a limb
Fact is, I've shinnied down more than a few
These days, instead of taking it so grim
I've learned to sit and just enjoy the view 

If you're caught on a limb by some mistake
The bright side is, the damned thing didn't break

     by Daniel Turner

Copyright © Daniel Turner | Year Posted 2017

Details | Sonnet |

A Strong Womans Revenge

It seems Mother Nature is now going thru the “change”
After millions of years it begins to be so strange
The cycle of birth, whether days or eons of time
Growing pains were abundant with great reason ‘n rhyme.

There came a time of growing, as she filed out her space
Beautiful flora and fauna were put upon her face
For man to inherit all that she had given him
A balance was created, and it was not just a whim…

Man’s intervention would follow, and wars would be fought
She was pushed to the limit, but then she had a thought
“I’m too old to accept constant manipulation.” 
“It’s time to show them who’s in charge, in every nation!”

“Twilight’s coming too early so, now I’ll rearrange…
And, as all women know, hot flashes come with the “change!”

Copyright © Betty Janko | Year Posted 2017

Details | Sonnet |

Teenage Blues

My whinny,crabby, hungry teen
Your stinky,spoiled and quite mean
You want, you need, you have to have
The latest,newest, modern fad

Your greasy, grimy, hands smear
My wall, light switches, and the mirror
Empty snack bags,with sweet and sour
Create tall,extensive buildings that tower

Your messy,your dirty,in need of a shower
Please make it quick,not loiter an hour
Your smelly,nasty, disgusting shoes
Are slowly  poisoning every room

Even with big mouth,rolling eyes and sighs
I would not trade you, I surmise

Copyright © Jennifer Marie Oliver | Year Posted 2013

Details | Sonnet |

Golf Widows

What is it - this royal and ancient game
  that gets in your blood and under your skin?
That invites in men's hearts a peaceful aim
  till you shank one and your head starts to spin!
Not just a game for sadists and killjoys
  though it helps if misery becomes you;
new graphite, titanium and steel toys
  vex me slowly but what am I to do?
I am hooked - addicted to the flagged green,
  and no persuasion can my scourge deny:
no finer joy (with pants on) has there been,
  but take my wife before my clubs - or DIE!
To all you gals who would have us not play
hear this... 'tis the fairway or the highway!


               September 2004

Copyright © Keith Trestrail | Year Posted 2014

Details | Sonnet |

Dark Temptress

Near the lobby in the great room
we first make our rendezvous.
A breathy trip up to my stateroom
and I am at last alone with you.

I sense your fragrant muskiness
as I tease off your tenuous cover
and reveal the lustrous duskiness 
of your dark body to your lover.

As your wrap falls to the floor
and in all your glory you disrobe
the hungry demon waits no more
and I encup your tempting globe.

I cannot think what may transpire...
Shall I regret today's caprice?
But I cannot vanquish my desire
and sweet passion will not cease.

Deferred until tomorrow all guilt trips
and now, oh chocolate truffle... to my lips!

February 10, 2013

Inspired by Jon Cavanaugh's "Ode to Chocolate".

Copyright © Roy Jerden | Year Posted 2013

Details | Sonnet |

Of Lust and Dissipation

A Spenserian Sonnet
(Mr. Snake falls in love with a garden hose)

Today I slithered up a grassy hill,
wet from the creek and eager to explore.
The urge to snare a mate devoured my will,
could not this be the day for me to score?

I spot you there beside the garden door, 
your slick green shape pervades my hungry sight.
Your golden head criss-cross my eyes before
your trim tight coil peals visions of delight.

Yet when I push my moves into the light
your body squirms and grows before my eyes,
and dread arises in a burst of fright.
You spit at me in angry spurts, surprise

me with a gush of clear and liquid spray,
while I make haste to scuttle fast away.

Copyright © Cona Adams | Year Posted 2014

Details | Sonnet |

Magic Beans

Someday I’ll find some Magic Beans to eat
Digest them in the comfort of my shed
They can be black or green or pink or red
The feeling of its warmth inside my tum
And maybe such a bean will go with rum
Then afterward the impetus will start
of breaking wind, to flatulate or fart
to run and hide and take with me the smell
I would not blend in company too well
If only I could make a bean that leaves
The odor of a lovely summer breeze
I’d even add a piquant taste to gel
a Magic Bean without the dire wrath
Exquisite food and not the aftermath

Ralph Sergi
January 8, 2015
Magc Bean Contest

Copyright © Ralph Sergi | Year Posted 2015

Details | Sonnet |

Take This Job And Stuff It

I worked in a bowlin' place settin' pins,

Tryin' not to let a ball break my shins!

In those days of yore, pins were set by hand,

And you had to hustle to beat the band!

I was around fourteen when I was hired,

And was around fourteen when I was fired!

The boss man paid me fifty cents per hour,

'Til one night our relationship went sour!

I advised him where he could stuff the job!

Said he, "Find another line of work, Bob!"

Couldn't face workin' there 'til I retired.

Found work pumpin' gas when I was rehired!

8 November 2014 - Entry for Sara Hendrick's "Jobs" Contest

Copyright © Robert L. Hinshaw | Year Posted 2014

Details | Sonnet |

Born Again for contest

Born Again (For Contest)
Y’all come and  join me while I set a spell
I’ll tell a tale that stirred in yonder dell
I reckon I might miss a word or two
But this happened here as I say to you
There lived a man here who was so nasty
His soul was so cussed that we all could see
Ornery and riled up as he could be
Then one day he met a cute little lass
She lived by the Book with plenty of sass
In time she wooed him and taught him the Word
Anger left him like a wee little bird
Now he’s in church with a dumb looking grin
 I still wish he was the way he had been
July 9, 2015

Copyright © Ralph Sergi | Year Posted 2015

Details | Sonnet |

Post coitum omne animal triste est, sive gallus et mulier

Post coitum omne animal triste est, 

             sive gallus et mulier*


Yes, no cockerel who rules the cackling roost

   Will stomach slander from Latin master;

But who will stand aside and let the ghost

   Of hints slur old motherhood’s register.

Manhood must of needs hang its head in pain

   After all the sweat and toil in loins of love;

After millions of squiggly soldiers in vain

   Drop their lean tails at the egg wall alcove.

Only the fool who dares call woman’s bluff

   Shall learn hard way positions in bedstead;

Virile pride will sink in the depths of fluff

   While smooth gym-trained muscles rage instead.

   As they say hereabouts sur le vieil Continent

   La différence, Mon Sieur: lip’s shade content.


·     * “After the sexual encounter every animal is
excepting the cock and the woman.”


© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2005-2012. From the collection:

Poems Omega Plus, 2005. Rev. 2012.

Copyright © T Wignesan | Year Posted 2012

Details | Sonnet |

Vinnie, VD, Vichy-

I painstakingly take down reading list.
(I thought that our dear teacher surely gist.)
“Of Bison Men”, antiquity : out o’ print;
and “Batcher in the Fry”, a concrete  stint.

“Odious Night in Gail”, seen fit to ban – 
Perhaps by an old “RAD at Sky March” fan.
And “Cellphone flowers of yellow and green”, 
From “Loose'y in the Sky with Diamonds”, seen.

“You Lie, Sees” on top of list of sorcerers  –
Our Homers being the main baseball scorers.
“Vinnie, VD, Vichy~”: Dude ate too much 
I do not understand the rash and rush…

A cross all incontinence, without much flare,
there grammar mistakes is to much too bare.

1.	Bison: Prehistoric animal, now extinct. Also, Bison Men Street Fighter = movie;
        Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
2.	The Catcher in the Rye is a 1951 novel by J. D. Salinger
3.	Ode to a Nightingale by John Keats
4.	Radetsky March by Johann Strauss Sr.
5.	RAD – abbreviation of many interpretations; also, slang for “great”
6.	The actual line from “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds” is: “Cellophane… “
7.     "Loose'y" is slang for cigarettes sold singularly
8.	Ulysses is derived from Ulixes, the Latin name for Odysseus, a character in ancient Greek literature. Odysseus also known by the Roman name Ulysses was a legendary Greek king of Ithaca and a hero of the blind poet, Homer's epic poem, the Odyssey.
9.	Julius Caesar said this when described how/what he did on his campaign. (veni (I came), vidi (I saw), vici (I conquered). Colloquially used by teenagers as an expression for conquests of the opposite sex. "Vichy" as in vichysoisse, a cold potato soup
10.	In the final couplet I vent my frustration with the incorrect usage and spelling which I often encounter in script; spelling and grammar which change the intended meaning of the text.
11. Written in: A quatorzain (from French quatorze, fourteen) is a poem of fourteen lines. Historically the term has often been used interchangeably with the term 'sonnet'. Various writers have tried to draw distinctions between 'true' sonnets, and quatorzains. Nowadays the term is seldom used, and when it is, it usually is used to distinguish fourteen line poems that do not follow the various rules that describe the sonnet. I followed the Shakespeare sonnet style with the volta at the COUPLET:"In Shakespeare's sonnets, however, the volta usually comes in the couplet, and usually summarizes the theme of the poem or introduces a fresh new look at the theme." ~ Wikipedia 

6 July 2013

Sponsor	Roy Jerden
Contest Name	Malapropisms and Mondegreens

Copyright © Suzette Richards | Year Posted 2013

Details | Sonnet |

Love Sonnet take 1

Firm against the tempest we stand
Hip to hip and hand in hand
And when your hair flicks my nose
An excited shiver reaches my toes

As we stand beneath shining full moon
I shuffle a little to create room
To fully appreciate the breathless sight
That is your beauty by silvery light

Then I look upon that incongruous stanza
Doubts roll through me like a German Panzer
But stressors melt at the touch of your palm
For when we embrace my mind goes calm

We hang our destinies on the same hook
And into a hazy future together we look

Copyright © scott thirtyseven | Year Posted 2015

Details | Sonnet |

My Muse

My muse has left me, gone to Timbuktu
I'm left here all alone; what can I do?
There is no thought; there is no single rhyme
Can't chase her down, I'd melt in such a clime

Can't wish her back, she's quit her job she said
for never could she get me out of bed
Nor could she get me out of shower quick
The thoughts she'd breathe would disappear real quick

And then to top it off, when I did write
The other poets scoffed, "This write's not right!
Your writing's so old school; it's so mundane
Your muse must have a peanut for a brain!"

The inspiration's gone, and here I am
Without my muse, for she's gone on the lamb...

Eileen Manassian

Copyright © Eileen Manassian | Year Posted 2016

Details | Sonnet |

Leaving On A Jet Plane

As I soared at forty-thousand feet strapped in the aluminum-tubed aerie,
Racing through my skull was a tune made famous by Peter, Paul and Mary!
They made leaving on a jet plane sound so very romantic and swell!
Contrary to their soothing ballad, mine was the flight from hell!

Ah, the thrill of going through the security check still lingers,
Recalling a most "touching" pat-down by Freddy Feely Fingers!
I had to remove my belt, shoes and the change from my pockets,
And open my carry-on bag to prove I had no guns or rockets!

I was "squoze" betwixt two guys leaning on my shoulders snoring!
One was built like Hulk Hogan - the other as fat as Herman Goring!
A squalling kid hollered for the entire trip!  I suffered beyond belief!
I ordered a Manhattan on the Rocks in hopes of finding blessed relief!

About the flight, I told Betty Boop the attendant, "I'm tired of this fuss!
Next time I travel I'll skip all this nonsense and ride a Greyhound bus!"

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) All Rights Reserved

NOTE:  I've suffered through many such flights wondering if the agony
           would ever end!

Entry for Debbie Guzzi's "Songs to Poetry" Contest

Copyright © Robert L. Hinshaw | Year Posted 2013

Details | Sonnet |

Rush Hour

Thirty years on, across our globe, my daily ritual.
Alone, surrounded, marching silently forward,
the vast weight of humanity moving back and forth,
in an awkward dance, street theater for the masses.

A piano and a flute, emoting to this interlude, 
the analog broadcast, my chosen soundtrack, together 
with the metronomic pulse of my worn out wipers,
as they collaborate with the falling snow.  Half asleep,
I contemplate the sweetness of this etude, on the radio. 
Two instruments, a man and his car, a piano and a flute
building a theme and gathering speed, captivate me
as I am drawn in, the audience applauding in gratitude.

In this exalted state of grace, the light changed a little too fast,
and I was caught by the flash that soon will be a demand for cash.

Copyright © James Fredholm | Year Posted 2013

Details | Sonnet |



In the pub, I serve out the pints
My comely bosom gives a hint of home
And what men are escaping from – dreary sex
With housewives who scour the sink with vigour

Trim the joint and lard the fowl
Gristles of fat clinging to their knuckles
As the froth of beer clings to men’s beards.
England is a riff between the breakfast table and tea

Where homely condiments drown the flavour
Of each day, and newspapers live on scandal
The seamier the better.  It makes the ordinary man
Happier than ever not to be one of the toffs

Glad that she can be had for a song
Save the one that lies buried in her throat.

Copyright © Rosemarie Rowley | Year Posted 2015