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Sestina Funny Poems | Sestina Poems About Funny

These Sestina Funny poems are examples of Sestina poems about Funny. These are the best examples of Sestina Funny poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Sestina |

Men

We're grouped together ready to party 
just standing around waiting for the coach.
Not a stag do exactly, just us men.
Before you ask, it wasn't fancy dress.
A football Friday night out for a drink,
one or two, possibly looking for sex. 
 
I certainly wasn't looking for sex, 
no women allowed in this lad’s party.
Tam who’s just arrived is getting a drink,
he’s our mate and first team footballing coach.
Back from a wedding rehearsal; full dress.
So he’ll be glad; being back amongst the men.
 
We arrive at a pub heaving with men;
just a handful of the opposite sex. 
God knows who came up with this shit address.
It isn’t lively enough to party.
We agree that we’ll get back on the coach,
however, Tam bought us all one more drink.

At the next pub I get the lads a drink,
‘Okay,’ I say to them, ‘It’s my round, men,’
and hand three pints of lager to the coach.
My thoughts absentmindedly turn to sex,
when I look towards a crowded hen party
and see a girl in a skimpy red dress.

‘Check out the girl, in the little red dress,’
I say to Liam, passing him his drink.
‘I’d love to get an invite to that party.’
‘Aye well, you, me, and the rest of the men;
thoaght you wurny interested in sex?’
he says, as we watch her approach the coach.
  	
It’s half past two; the last round’s on the coach. 
He’s fondling the girl, his hands up her dress.
‘Jesus man, go outside if you want sex,’
I say, ‘It’s your round; last orders for drink.
I’ll be up there with the rest of the men.’
The bar closes; it’s the end of the party.

I board the coach with the rest of the men.
It was a good party, plenty to drink,
and Tam’s having sex wearing the red dress.

Copyright © John Prior | Year Posted 2014



Details | Sestina |

slimming

Shadorma (slimming) 

Low fat cheese
Tastes like rubber soles
For weight loss
I eat it
Abusing my true taste buds
 And I am still fat
 


Copyright © jan oskar hansen | Year Posted 2011

Details | Sestina |

ROXY, THE ROTTWEILER

Roxy as the loudest rottweiler in Waterbury, an historic town in Connecticut,
Roxy was a vigilante dog, which never let a stranger or a burglar in;
once this ranch home was a haven, thanks for the love she had shown!
While I was watching my favorite movie, she joined in with interest; 
I padded her to let her know that I approved of her curiosity,
and I spoiled her with foods that dogs shouldn't eat: like cookies and pastry! 



On the sunniest days of spring and summert, we spent many hours playing, I threw the ball
and she would find it anywhere on the lawn and bring it back breathing heavily;
whoever says that dogs can't be human?....They have already proven that to us
by being our best friends! A dog can rescue a child from a burning house,
and jump into the coldest pool and bring that baby unharmed to safety;
and many of them take risks that we wouldn't take, to protect us in dangerous situations!



Canines have been our bodyguards since ancient times...Homer, the blind poet, had one, too,
but what they don't have is a spirit like ours, that spirit which returns, upon death, to God;
and will they ever go to Heaven with us? Our answer should be no, but the odds of taking  
them with us, wouldn't be favorable, so we must leave them behind in their earthly dwelling! 
When we'll be resurrected by Christ, we'll remember these loyal and dear companions
that shared our affections, our joy of loving, and our same fate: living and dying like we do!
     



Roxy was the gentlest and the most affectionate dog that ever lived, Roxy kept me from harm;
and what she gave was more than anyone could ever give! And my appreciation and gladness
were demonstrated in my caring ways: making sure she was well-fed and had plenty 
of water to drink, when I would be gone for hours...and on my return, she would greet me 
with a loud bark, and licking my cheeks, she jumped on me and tickled me with her paws!  
Roxy was a gift from a neighbor who died alone; she entrusted her to me, and called me son!


Copyright 2009 by Andrew Crisci

Copyright © Andrew Crisci | Year Posted 2009

Details | Sestina |

Spooky Night


Oh me Oh My a ghost
no ship but  I see coming a pirate
their breath the scent of candy
away they scramble with frightening cries
Look across the moon flies a witch
and dangled from it's web a spider!


a huge black and spotted spider
watch as it wiggles towards the ghost
swatted now by the broom of the littlest witch
gobbled down by the skinny pirate
way down in the swamp an animal cries
here all the cries are for candy


bowls and caldrons filled with candy
webs hanging low  wove by  a fat plastic spider.
oh No a  pink clad princess cries
to a hangman and a  green ghost
Run away screams the pirate
as from the darkness flies a blonde witch


she's skinny for a witch
we should stuff her with candy
we could sell her to the pirate
or feed her to the spider
give her to me moans the ghost
we laugh at her cries

we cackle at the echo of her cries
we admire the warted nose of the witch
what a pitiful ghost
begging for more candy
trembling before the huge spider
holding tight to the hand of his sister pirate


Pirate after treasureless Pirate
all afraid of the haunting cries
squatting low under the web tangled spider
keeping their eye on the witch
clutching their sacks and buckets of candy
daringly unafraid of the ghost

This years best was a Pirate, the scariest was a witch
our ears ached with the cries for more and more candy
Till the only spooks beneath the spider on our porch, was our own little ghost.

Copyright © Patricia Sawyer | Year Posted 2008

Details | Sestina |

THINNING HAIR

Despair...
limp hair
falling:
screaming!
A cure...
for sure?

Quick-fix...
Rogaine!
Who laughs?
Who cares!
I'm young,
not old!
  
Ladies
notice...
dark suit,
white shirt:
free-way 
to joy!

All stare...
fanfare:
not hot
to perk?
Petty...
not me!


Copyright 2009 by Andrew Crisci

Copyright © Andrew Crisci | Year Posted 2009

Details | Sestina |

HOWLWEEN AND MEOWWEEN

Halloween is not just for kids...
what about those gorgeous pets
that we snuggle, love, kiss and willfully spoil?
Shouldn't they have their own
special Howlween and Meowween
with treats never tasted in a bright party hall?



I love pets as you all do, and with loving and tender care    
I spoil them with warm clothes and matching shoes;
a wool hat and tiny gloves to keep them from frost!
Look at them, aren't they adorable and look sharper 
than the less-loved pets that are bored with their blues?  
Can you compare a well-groomed one to a scruffy one? 



On this coming Halloween, dress up your pets for success,
disregard the dumb looks of certain unintelligent folks,
they never see humor in anyone or anything, and they can't laugh
at these cuties that have a ton of affection on their mellow faces;
what would they do to be patted or be cuddled in their embrace?
They would give them their howleen and neowween for a soft caress!



And on every street people walk their dogs and cats dressed like mine,
what a surprise to watch this parade of adorable pets that look up and smile!
They will never know who was the genius behind all this, but gently and happily they stroll!
So who's to say that Halloween isn't for them? They're like our children who delight our soul!
And on each Halloween night, let them out, and let them do their Howlween and Meowween,
to enjoy the Halloween celebration, but tomorrow they'll not remember where they had been!


Copyright 2009 by Andrew Crisci

Copyright © Andrew Crisci | Year Posted 2009

Details | Sestina |

THE DREARINESS OF AN EMPTY HOME

After a hard day's work,
these weary feet drag me home,
with the urge of pulling the cork
from the red wine chilling in the cooler;
and smell steaming pasta primavera into a large bowl...
before I am tempted by my gluttonery desire!
  

Simple pleasures like relaxing my elbows
on a comfortable leather sofa,
with legs stretched-out on soft cotton pillows
and watching a dramatic soap opera;
pop-corn, potato-chips and beer...
yes, for a toast to health, indeed!


I may start to yawn and fall asleep...
unless, through my open window, spiders will slowly creep;
and crawl onto my arms and face,
but one sneeze blows them away, and
trust me on this:  the others won't certainly play around,
when they hear the scheme of my surprise!   


And if ideas bubble up into my energetic brain,
more plentifull than memories they'll tap this imagination;
and with pen and pad I'll spend hours contemplating inspiration,
and shouldn't it come swiftly while I cool off by the oscillating fan,
the dreariness of an empty home can effect my solitary mood:
and more than a melancholic moon...I'll vainly brood!


Copyright 2009 by Andrew Crisci

Copyright © Andrew Crisci | Year Posted 2009