He was always so happy
strong and bold.
He'd give you the shirt off of his back.
He had a rough life
growing up through the depression,
but like he always does,
he got through it.
He has two boys, of whom he is so proud.
Moved from Regina, to Victoria.
He had the best life anyone his age could have wanted.
But ever since his wife died,
he has not been the same.
But like he has always done,
he got through it.
just a little forgetful.
That's how it always starts out...
But like always, he powered through it,
He is not the same person that I used to know.
He been sentenced to the prison in his own mind.
Possessed by the thoughts of his dogs ashes.
He likes to play the blame game,
but we know he doesn't remember that it was him.
He wakes up in the night
shaking with pain,
tears streaming down his face.
There is nothing we can do,
Two more tylenol.
Hold on to hope
for as long as you can,
It's only a matter of time now.
He gets vocal, a very loud tone.
He'll block you in your room
and make false accusations
But we know that it's the pain induced monster in him.
Tick tock, tick tock...
You can't handle the stress anymore
you have to leave.
Just hope for the best,
maybe it will get better.
Surprise, it doesn't.
Your denial is foolish, everyone knows
what happens next.
All results of
Copyright © Laura Hamilton | Year Posted 2013
Pain from joint to joint
or am I losing my mind
Copyright © Robert Heemstra | Year Posted 2012
P aranoia permeates, etching itself into your fractured face,
A cacophony of constant pressure; life remains a stressful race,
N othing to hope for, no positives like promotion in the workplace,
I nability to love, relationships lift anchor and set sail without chase,
C hildren crushing dreams under mortgages; age grows with disgrace
Copyright © Dan Keir | Year Posted 2013
I do not know?
Oft times, as we near trail's end,
We discover that we've used up our days,
Just chasing wind through the trees.
Exploring our "what ifs" of life trend,
Always glinting hinder as if through a haze,
Thoughts that time seemed to freeze.
Only then, with lesser days to spend,
Is psyche surrendered to much malaise,
On finding trees gone and wind a breeze.
Copyright © Tom Wright | Year Posted 2014
Horse who won in Yorkshire
Last year how come
To be a beef in my menu this year
Copyright © Sallam Yassin | Year Posted 2013
Just as honesty plants seeds of integrity
vulnerability plants seeds of honesty.
My primary vocation
in this my gay grandfatherly retiring age
is to parent mindbody challenged adolescents
of diverse colors
as ecotherapeutically as possible
to optimize their and our wealth
growing nutritional elements and moments
into humanely co-operative organisms
with good days
more than bad.
More or less like watering the flowers
and ignoring the weeds,
or, better yet,
repurposing the weeds,
redirecting their potential energy
in a more nutritiously nurturing way.
My kids not only are vulnerable,
they know they are vulnerable,
and this tends to make them exceedingly honest
with each other
about what is funny and what is tragedy.
They are easy to parent
in this way.
Yet this same vulnerability
is their greatest risk
in a too often competitive,
and mindless of other's special needs,
We communicate connected to the feeling level,
even while learning the ABCs,
the 1 through 100 percents of good and bad numbers
and proportions and balance and symmetry,
the drawing of self-portraits,
Earth and Her Sun.
Often these inside feeling voices
do not feel well enough to care about the ABC's,
or even the needs of those we need to love
and to love us,
to be as lovely with as possible.
Inside feeling voices
become loud and angry and hurt outside voices.
I noticed this the other day
when old family friends dropped by.
Not quite as old as I
and therefore much less retired
from life's exterior competitions.
When we had time to visit several times per week,
we often began together
checking in about how our inside voices were feeling today,
happy or sad,
depressed or triumphant,
and usually some more richly nuanced place between.
Then we would turn to our big outdoor voices.
What we were working and playing on and with
in our back and front and side-yards,
the gardens and woodlands of our productive nutritional lives,
how the pets and pests
and domestic egg-layers were feeling,
and why not.
These two voices generally resonated with each other.
What we were working on with Outdoor Voices
said something about nutrition and health we were working on
as a family
with our Inside Voices,
and vice versa.
if there was nothing else to do,
no further outdoor recreations
and discernment projects,
would we return to more
yet less intimate and vulnerable
Work and play projects in perpetual interior process.
The noticing of more ornamental acquisitions
like ceiling and wall and floor coverings,
about what we could see together
through all those more interior feelings
and thoughts about relationships,
past and future and present interactions,
transactions of value and disvalue,
warmth and cooler apathy.
I remembered this yesterday
when old friends,
no longer neighbors, revisited
and we began with new floor and ceiling coverings
and ended with farewell.
They arrive so late
it is already past time to be back home
to get ready for another Indoor Voices
Which, this morning,
results in feeling blessed
to be here in this time and place
to listen and speak at our leisure
with my vulnerable no-boundary kids,
outrageously honest about their nutritional needs
speaking with full volume integrity
in both Inside Outdoor Voices,
meets and greets and eventually defeats
through honest integrity
of repurposing redirection,
feeding the flowers
and noticing how funny the weedy Outdoor Voices
feeling our way through the ABCs
and the 1 through 100% flowering days
and mean weedy nights.
I'm surprised and disappointed
my former neighbors didn't notice all the new fruit trees
and berry bushes
poppies and lilies
strawberries and tomatoes
onions and garlic
asparagus and rhubarb,
and 17 new solar panels on the roof!
My kids could care less
and probably never more
what our old friends did
and did not
other than their own Voices
vulnerably maturing into integrity,
I'm glad they noticed,
because the liked,
the new floor and ceiling covers.
Copyright © Gerald Dillenbeck | Year Posted 2017
It's another Saturday night
ending this week
I came here
almost two years ago
to my retirement hermitage
and often uncomfortably,
shared with my hurt kids,
mental and physical illness
adopted and then adapted;
an asylum for the perpetually incontinent.
Cars pass by.
Sometimes a loud motorcycle
or two or three or four
or even more
here on the southern boundary
of a county seat
in a State
where rural counties
have been disenfranchised
of political purpose.
Our largest employers
are two tribally owned casinos.
One across the Thames River
flowing past our backyard retreat.
Our second largest income producer
may be the County Courthouse
where attorneys and police
collude to extort voluntary donations
from poor young adults
red and yellow,
black and white,
guilty of speeding
and smoking medicine
without a license
in Great White Father's sight.
I have been listening and watching
for what this half acre is.
We are not as rural as I had hoped,
with State highway 12 too near my front yard,
but this place is also not urban
What it is not,
whom we are not,
seems more clearly articulated
than any positive definition,
refining our becoming quiet place,
shunned by healthier neighbors.
It's another lonely ending
anticipating yet another not new beginning
tomorrows stretching out alone
long retiring shadows
on this southern edge
of a Connecticut County Seat
without apparent purpose
or co-defining meaning.
Copyright © Gerald Dillenbeck | Year Posted 2017
Paid their taxes when due
But retired on pensions
That favored the few
Now County Clerks
Have made that quite clear
Under "Cause of Death:"
(Enter your Senator here)
Copyright © Rico Leffanta | Year Posted 2017
In one sense,
the Cafe CoOp
started as my therapeutic retirement dream.
in quite another
the CoOp goes back to when I was eight,
and I thought,
everyone indulged in Thought Experiments
about what would my optimal Eden Paradise.
restoring peace and justice across Earth
And how are these
a response to what I do not currently prefer
to live with,
Perhaps in both ways,
I began seeing how cooperative aspirations
might become cooperatively owned and, coincidentally,
managed for mutual health care optimization
of all us CoOp EarthCafe residents,
supported by restoring therapeutic peace
and ego-ecojustice teachers
and polycultural outcome mentors
and multicultural scripture scholars
and WinWin systems analysts,
and waterers of flowers and not monoculturing weeds,
and holistic cooks and preservers
conservers and medicinal herb gatherers,
indoors and outside,
And, yes, of course
and CoOperative Implementation CoInvestors
and ReStorative Justice businesses of and for healing,
projecting community health optimization incomes
for 2020 ReStorative Justice
as this healthy extending family
polyculturing peace-filling outcomes.
All monocultural supremacy came quite near a boil
during 2016's Retributive Nationalistic Patriarchal Lose-Lose Selection
against Constitutional protections of multicultural Welfare pursuits
and against purity of, and loyalty to, democratic global Unity
for PolyCultural Outcomes of Freedom,
CoOperative WinWin Liberties for all species
My ego's Yang longing for unity
belonged within Yin-Holonic Restorative Justice aspirations,
EgoLeft with EcoRight
cosmic cosmological consciousness
of CoOp Cafe karma
growing through self-other co-empathic
In ZeroSum equivalent FourDimensional RealTime
bilateral Left-Right ecological history
regenerative trans-poly-perpetuating sacred substantiation
we all live creolizing best
through Golden NonDual Appositional Rules
to empathize with each Other
within LeftYang and RightYin
as outside too Patriarchal RightWing
with Matriarchal NonZero-Sum WinWin LeftWing suppression
of all CoOp Cafe EarthTribe members,
ReStorative Therapeutic Justice Advocates.
Why would anyone in their right balanced mind
not want to restore healthy justice
especially while Trumpians and supremacist homophobic allies
rule our most nuclear-risk of climate permanent unrest?
The CoOp Cafe
and our after-school
ReStorative Justice and Peace YouthLeadership Project
in these ways and means
with middle school and high school
and community college students
and performance and journalism teachers,
Then adding ReStorative Justice Parent Alliances,
and an early-afternoon crowd coming down the street
after their baked chicken lunches
at St. Vincent de Paul,
asking these same questions of hopeful life
v despairingly dissonant death,
engaging in similarly themed Thought Experiments.
How do we know 2016,
or even worse,
will never happen again?
In the U.S.,
most climate urgently,
but also across Earth
in our Cafe CoOps,
wherever we can find and build them together,
on-line, indoors, and outdoors
sharing EarthBound 4D SpaceTime
fractal and seasonal DNA ReGenerative Health Values
informed with RNA bilateral nutrition Root Systems
providing true and faithful and just EcoBlossoms,
I just assumed,
when I was eight,
that these are the ways
others would co-define Paradise
as both Interdependent Earth
and nondually dipolar EmptySet EgoIdentity interiors
because how could we possibly be anything at all
without OriginalMother Sacred Intent
becoming anything more or less
than PolyPathic Yang = Not(Not PolyPhonic MatrioticYin)
because +1 Yang must always double-bind notnot (0),
just as uracil's form
cytosine's notnot-folding-unfolding flow functions
of bilateral heuristic waves.
If notnot (0) First OriginalCause,
then no possible way
to doubleBind 4D SpaceFractals
through BiLateral Strings
of ReStorative-ReGenerative Justice
Not not what and when and why Lose to Lose
when each is free to choose
Win economics to Win ecologics
notnot (0)Sum bilateral ego-eco-consciousness,
when speaking trust within multiple multicultures
and transacting cooperative therapeutic business
and performance arts
and singing fair and true and just and beautiful lyrics
and dancing lyrically,
standing with vulnerable comedy and tragedy stories,
sweeping in chi gong co-op circle sessions,
breathing through yoga stretching circles and squares,
that would be good;
could feel healthy
for cooling internal climates.
Our Cafe CoOp
started as a collective dream
about where we might feel and be safest
in restoring vulnerability of co-ownership
with each other,
between consumers and producers,
between suffering traumatic past investments
and offering care-giving and -receiving therapies
for parenting and healthy childing,
for teaching and wealthy studenting,
for mentoring and menteeing grace
as healthy gratitude,
positive karma attitude
for mutually cooperative multicultural restorations.
So, less mutually competitive mistrust,
negative fear-mongering lifelessness,
depression and repression
of all Matriotic ReStorative Wisdom Circles
and ego-eco balancing nature-spirit practices
of bilaterally empathic praxis
for basic enthymematic
of maturing GoodFaith CoOp Cafe Management.
In one multiculturing sense,
our EarthTribe Cafe CoOp
started as everyone's therapeutic retirement dream
for mutually restoring economic health
and community safety purposes.
Copyright © Gerald Dillenbeck | Year Posted 2017