Personification Humorous Poems | Personification Poems About Humorous

These Personification Humorous poems are examples of Personification poems about Humorous. These are the best examples of Personification Humorous poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Personification | |

A Tribute to a Major Appliance

Sub-titled: What’s in YOUR Fridge?

Please allow me to introduce myself:
My name is Ms. Fridge A. Daire
I stand tall among my lesser cohorts
and MOST of them really look up to me

However, I have two problems:
First, I’m FED UP with my owner
He's always opening my door
reaching deep inside (Oooh yeah!)
helping himself to my goodies
without EVER cleaning me out
or scrubbing me from top to bottom
Doesn’t he know a woman has NEEDS?

Then there’s that stupid stove next to me
who’s constantly flirting and making passes
Says he wants to ‘warm me up’ and ‘defrost’ me
bragging that I’ve ‘got the hots’ for him
which absolutely makes my Freon boil!
Of course, I always give him the cold shoulder
by freezing him with my famous icy stare
and responding, “Simmer down Four-Eyes"
or “I don’t date shorter appliances"
But he’s always cooking up something else...

So I asked my owner to move me to another spot
He said he would if I wasn’t so heavy...HEAVY?
What kind of thing is THAT to say to a lady?
He also claims there’s no other place to plug me
PLUG me? Who does he think I am anyway?
I found it quite crude and vulgar...ANYWAY
I suggested an extension cord and he blew a fuse!
Geez, no wonder he’s still single...





  

Copyright © Tim Ryerson | Year Posted 2015

Details | Personification | |

IT'S SIMPLY NOT PC

My finger hovers Shall I turn you on today You lie there tempting me I need to know what buttons to press But when I press those buttons You respond immediately and burst into life Every Wednesday you leave me little messages I try to ignore them but you are so persistent You want to update I want to write I press any key to continue And you ignore me and update anyway My husband is fed up with the distress you cause me He has a cunning plan to fix you forever ... No more automatic updates From now on you and I can live together in perfect harmony I can press the right keys to update you when it suits ME Now I am in complete control! Computer Poem Contest – Carol Eastman 29th March 2015

Copyright © JAN ALLISON | Year Posted 2015

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Diary of a Salmon

Day 1
Today I passed a shad,
on his way to Prince William Sound.
He protested that I go downstream.
But to the current he is bound.

Day 2
I encountered a fly on the surface.
But it was the ploy of a man.
To eat me was his plan.
My escape did him a disservice.

Day 3
Today I came across a bear.
By accident I entered her lair.
Her approaches, she kept deploying.
And her cubs were winy and annoying.

Day 4
An assault from an eagle came upon me.
From above, the attack I did not see.
A glare threw him off by an inch.
Certainly, I’m lucky to be free

Day 5
Today the river was crowded,
by comrades going to the same place.
Because of them my passage was shrouded.
And I couldn’t get them out of my face.

Day 6
My journey has been long.
Against the current, one must be strong.
The objective of my journey may end in vain.
At least, unlike others, I went against the grain.

Copyright © Daniel Carter | Year Posted 2016

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Dancing Bears

Bears
coming
through…
graceful
giant bears
coming
through.
Twirling,
swirling…they
waltz: One, two, three.
One, two, three.
Laughing
bears
dancing
together,
right on
through.
Off they
go!!!!

06/14/15

Entry for Contest: Shall We Waltz?
Host: Kim Merryman

*in the Air Force we had a program for Airmen who were struggling to meet the physical fitness requirements, which we referred to in a sort of tongue-in-cheek manner as "The Dancing Bears" program.

Copyright © The Grahamburglar | Year Posted 2015

Details | Personification | |

Temptation in Black and White aka The Oreo

          (a poem a deux)

        The Oreo is there.
        Out of sight, it calls to me.

Oreo: Love! Come to me. Pleasure awaits.
Me: No. Will power! I will not succumb.
Oreo: Think of chocolate...tongue-lingering, senses-reeling, so appealing...
Me: I am stronger than chocolate.
Oreo: Beneath the surface lies cream. Pure, unadulterated cream.
Me: I have a new book to read.
Oreo: Love, be reasonable. You know you want me.
Me: I don't.
Oreo: You do.
Me: Don't.
Oreo: Do.
Me: Don't.
Oreo: Do.
Me: Don't, don't, don't!
(pause)
Oreo: (seductively) Milk.
Me: (groan)
Oreo: I adore bathing in milk. It makes me so soft, so vulnerable, so wet.
Me: No! Not there. Don't touch me there!
Oreo: A veritable orgy of ecstasy in your mouth.
Me: O stop! Don't! Stop. Don't---stop---don't---stop---don't stop.
Oreo: My love!
Me: Wait for me, I'm coming. O God, I'm coming!

Copyright © Mary Oliver Rotman | Year Posted 2015

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Three Sister Owls

Last night I asked my sisters
Why they were not hooting
Little owl said no one missed her
She would hoot when she so suited

Middle owl asked why did I care
Hooting is not what it used to be
Go 'google' hooters if you dare
For more than you ever want to see

'Hoot hoot hooray,' I hooted proudly
Wise owl like me knows to overlook
I will try to hoot quite loudly
And follow directions in the owl book

I helped little sister build a warm nest
Assured her everything would be 'owl' right
Middle sister decided it would be best
If we showed 'whoo' we are tonight

Darkness falls, noise is clearer
An incessant convolution of forest sounds
Each in a place where all can see her
Three sister owls hooting upside down

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Written 2-3-2016
For Owls Personification Contest by Eve Roper
2nd Place

Copyright © Susan Gentry | Year Posted 2016

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I REACH OUT FOR YOU WHEN YOU CALL MY NAME

I lie in bed dreaming sweet dreams
Smooth sheets caress my body
Curled up with the one I love
You gently call my name 
Whispering sweet nothings in my ear
Singing me the sweetest song
I turn over and I reach out for you
Don’t you just hate it when the radio alarm clock goes off?

Jan Allison
22nd August 2014

Copyright © JAN ALLISON | Year Posted 2014

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End of Story

Positioned at the end of a line
Or
Between one line and another
Preventing confusion and clutter
A traffic cop
Signaling to stop
Fewer mistakes made
If more attention paid
The sentence not written by me
I knew where I should be
End of story...period
.

Copyright © Barbara Campbell | Year Posted 2015

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YOU TURN ME ON EVERY DAY

You hold out your hand and reach for me 
I am the one thing you desire
You cannot wait to turn me on 
Guess you know the right buttons to press
I start to get all hot and steamy
I am the one to quench your thirst…
Where would we be without our kettle?

Jan Allison
21st August 2014

Copyright © JAN ALLISON | Year Posted 2014

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If I Were An Elephant

My name is Bond, Els Bond, and I live in Africa where I was born and belong.
On my continent, I do not work solo – my entire herd shares my mission mojo.
Here, many human lives are needlessly spent from illness meds would prevent.

Spying, I learned drug companies and doctors require green to become helpers.
My herd needs green vegetation so I tried human green as an exploration.
It upset my digestion, concerned me and launched my herd’s investigation.

Zebras meant well, monkeys and tigers did, too, so I gave them things to do.
I credit them now, though they fell apart over who was in charge of who
and could not recall instructions without many elephant-styled, memory clues.

In summary, we worked day and night gathering all in dire health plights.
For months we have brought humans to our camp, way out of snooping-sight.
Step one done, the other animals fell apart just as step two was due to start.

Ms. Currency-Cent, my assistant, helped me plan for any possible resistance.
Disguised as double decker buses, we raided the city for all drugs in existence.
Many raids went down before a doctor and surgeon were found, then bound,
thrown in our trunks, taken to camp, where shaken, not stirred, they emerged.
Now they are too busy with the ill to feel any first waves of a selfish cave.

Tonight – step three: acquire a special hostage, not that we feel man can stop us,
but to guarantee an eventual global mention of our elephant herd’s intentions. 
When I say, media may showcase our success beside medical greed’s guts and rust.
As my bravest brother and sister elephants stand guard with grand eminence,
I am in route to kidnap a drug CEO and hoping this final plan is pure excellence.

My gentle, intelligent side now calls upon my side much braver
because there is one plan component my brain does not favor -
access to my target is only gained by an elevator.




... CayCay Jennings
December 11, 2016

Copyright © CayCay Jennings | Year Posted 2016

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I'm Okay Being Cold--A Tribute to a Major Appliance

I used to be called ice box.
To protect my integrity, I need to be cold.
At any degree, I am o.k. with myself.
Made of steel; I am strong.
To move me, would be difficult.
Any tears are now frozen within me.
What is inside of me remains good and safe.
See the light and
You find things of substance and value there.
I do not mind being called frigid.
If I should break down;
You would be sorry,
Not able to feed your needs.
You use me and take me for granted.
I have been here at your convenience, 
To get what you want!


Copyright © Barbara Campbell | Year Posted 2015

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The smell

Im from over there
Im from him 
Im from her
Im from that thing there
I like to linger – especially under your nose
I like to hide in mouths, in clothes, in beds, in bathrooms, in kitchens in toilets
I come from nowhere, travelling by wind

Copyright © Alexander Seal | Year Posted 2015

Details | Personification | |

Constantly Required Appliance

It is because I’m colored true red
That I was chosen for their homestead.
Initially, I was quite well tended,
But such care eventually ended.
Sure, their attention remains constant,
But it's rarely from a cleaning solvent.
I love a scrubbing, I always want it.

My service is constantly required ...
Clearly, it will be until I’m expired.
Hot, cold, old, fresh, mild or bold –
My people lack any quality control.
Despite my ceaseless working roll,
They fuss at me when I overflow.
Secretly, I enjoy their anxiety ohs.

Sometimes they argue if I’m found low
Or interrupt me if they feel I’m slow.
They also share their genuine relief
When they find my service complete.
My lack of baths and endless workload
May not be ideal coffee pot care code,
But it sure beats gripes from their commode. 



... CayCay Jennings
 October 16, 2016


Copyright © CayCay Jennings | Year Posted 2016

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A short letter to a hot summer day

A short letter to this Hot Summer Day, 
I get it, you’re a furnace from the sky.
And you want to play chef, to bake and to stew, 
Both my feet you simmer and fry

You battered and basted and blanched and broiled 
As I roasted all day in the sun.
And to help this heat wave, you turned the kiln up,
And cooked me along to well done.

Even the swim in the pool was a ruse, trap and hoax, 
As my skin copped a blistering scorch.
I’d like you to stop these pretty rays of light
This pretty hot scalding blowtorch.

To end this short letter to my friendly hot day, 
Here’s a phone number of a guy who mends warm.
Give him a call, invite him straight over, 
His name’s Cloudy Wet Soaking Rainstorm.

Copyright © Lewis Raynes | Year Posted 2017