Lyric Humorous Poems

These Lyric Humorous poems are examples of Lyric poems about Humorous. These are the best examples of Lyric Humorous poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Lyric |
LOOSELY BASED ON THE MICHAEL JACKSON SONG SHE’S OUT OF MY LIFE

He’s out of my life
Because he’s got a wife
And I don’t know whether to laugh or cry
If I see him now I’d whack him in the eye
But if I had a knife
I’d pass it on to his wife

He would hold my hands
We’d make love on the sands
To think for two years he was here
He had the best of both worlds now he lives in fear
So I better not expand
Or I’ll soon be on remand!

So I’ve learned that I’m not his possession
And I’ve learned that this guy I hate
Now he’s gone and I’ve got depression
But I’ve learned too late

He's out of my life
Gone back to his wife
Guess I loved him but found out he lied
If I get my hands on him I’ll end up inside
And it cuts like a knife
But the rat is out of my life

Jan Allison
10th August 2014

Copyright © JAN ALLISON | Year Posted 2014




Details | Lyric |
There was a Starship Enterprise,
It was the ruler of the skies,
But you don't really care for sci-fi, do you?
With Captain Kirk
And Mr Spock
And don’t forget the trademark jock,
And there upon the bridge you’ll find Uhura

Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura 
Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura

You’ll find Bones Macoy down in sickbay,
“I’m a doctor Jim” he’d say,
And cure whatever space bug ran through you,
He’ll banish away every cough,
Even if your name’s Chekov,
Or perhaps you might be sweet Uhura

Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura
Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura

To make the starship up and go,
The man you really need to know,
Is the Helm officer called Sulu,
But if it’s a message you’d like to send,
Then of course you can depend,
Upon the talented Miss Uhura,

Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura
Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura

Your voyage lasted three short years
But despite the trekkie’s fears,
It wouldn’t be the last time that we’d view you,
Of feature films there’d be twelve,
Before the franchise they would shelve,
But we won’t forget you dear Uhura

Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura
Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura
Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura
Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura

Oh Uhura

Copyright © Sharon Smith | Year Posted 2013

Details | Narrative |
Dave made a comment about his cowboy boots so I simply had to weave this joke into a little narrative

An elderly couple moved to Texas and the old man had always wanted some cowboy boots
Guess he dreamed of being a cowboy and getting involved in shootouts
So he buys the boots and walks into the kitchen wearing them like a prize
He asks his wife if she notices anything different but she says nothing
He gets a bit annoyed, goes off and strips naked except for the boots
‘Notice anything different now?’ he says to his wife
She looks down at him and says…
‘What’s different – its hanging down today.. it was hanging down yesterday and it will be again tomorrow’.
Well he’s not too happy and says ’and do you know why it’s hanging down?’
‘No’ she says
‘It’s hanging down because it’s looking at my new cowboy boots’
She doesn’t change her expression and replies
‘Shoulda bought a hat dear, you shoulda bought a hat’

Hope it raises a smile!

Jan Allison
18th August 2014

Copyright © JAN ALLISON | Year Posted 2014




Details | Lyric |
Sung to the melody of when I’m 64 by The Beatles Gotta keep working an extra few years (Not like years ago) Governments are screwing us for every dime I can’t afford a bottle of wine Hip's been replaced Yes I’m getting old I’m too old to twerk But I’m so needy and my pension won’t feed me But I’m ninety four! Written after being inspired by ‘Stupid People’ poem by SillyBilly theKidster https://www.poetrysoup.com/poem/stupid_people_900910 05~16~17 Now That I'm 64 by SillyBilly the Kidster I gotta keep working an extra few years, not like years before. Government is screwing me for every dime, I can’t afford a bottle of wine. Hip's been replaced, yes I’m getting old. I Can't Work Any More, but I'm still needy, social security won't feed me, now that I'm 64. 05~17~17

Copyright © JAN ALLISON | Year Posted 2017

Details | Lyric |
Inspired By T Rex 'Hot Love'

Well she's his woman of gold 
She won't do as she's told 
A ha ha 
She's his woman of gold 
She shouldn't be so bold
When her hands are that cold 
A ha ha 
 
She casts her spell like a witch
She's not wearing a stitch 
A ha ha
She casts her spell like a witch 
She's not wearing a stitch 
A ha ha 
She really knows how to love
in her marigold gloves 
A ha ha .
 
Well I’m faster than most and I cook a mean roast
A ha ha 
Well I’m faster than most but I still burn the toast
A ha ha
In my sexy purple nightie I look rather flighty
A ha ha

Well she aint no witch 
but she sure makes me twitch 
a ha ha 
Well she aint no witch
but she makes my life rich 
A ha ha
I'm her two cent prince
and I give her hot love 
A ha ha 
ow ow hmmm

La la la la la la la
Oooh ooh the things she can make me do
Oooh ooh She can lay me down 
A ha ha 
La la la la la la la 
ooooh oooh oooh 
La la la


 17th May 2014
By Jan Allison & Darren Watson

Copyright © JADAZZLE UNITED | Year Posted 2014

Details | Lyric |
Inspired by another poem by another poet---------just for fun



Oh, I didn't know that cowboys
weren't respected and revered
John Wayne, when he passed away
Brought me close to tears
But now I know that people
Think we're all just trailer trash
So I've taken of my boots
And tossing out my hats

There's no more eating beans
upon these dirty plates
And movin' from this trailer park
Oh brother I can wait
But, putting cars on blocks
Oil changes in the yard
Stopping those activities
I swear it will be hard

Beer cans won't get piled high
In a pyramid, way out back
My pit bulls won't be barkin'
Always ready to attack
Soon I'll trade-in my pick-up
For a brand new SUV
And I'll become more citified 
For the whole dang world to see


I won't mistreat my woman
And call her an old cow
And I won't let my kid's
Ride a bull, or catch a sow
Oh, I didn't know that cowboys
Were just lazy and no good
So we're moving from the country
Right to your neighborhood 



Copyright © Jerry T Curtis | Year Posted 2014

Details | Lyric |
The day I turned the big 5 0
My friends all said to me
You got to make a Bucket List 
Of things to do and see

So, I sat there on my cozy couch
With pen and pad in hand
And wrote a hundred things I'm sure
No one would understand

The first thing on the list I wrote
Was simply getting High
I'd score some Marijuana
and give that weed a try

Now It's been ten years later
You would think I had some fun
And probably went through half my list
But, I'm stuck on number One 

So it's clear---this is a work of fiction---lol

Copyright © Jerry T Curtis | Year Posted 2016

Details | Lyric |
Every morning I dance naked
Singing in the morning rain.
None are there to observe my antics
None to share a laugh or pain.

Well, the angels perhaps.
I'm sure they chuckle
When I reword tunes
From the radio's knuckle.

I'll sing opera, in my strongest untuned voice
With a cast of one, and an audience the same
Oh the cat?  Yep, he's both one and none
More interested in the craziness than the game.

He'll accompany me, sometimes (singing, not showering)
And mewl in his finest voice
Mostly he just keeps me company 
'Cause he can, by choice.

So before the sun is awake
And before the sky blazes orange and the stars wane
And before my waking dreams have faded
My song resounds in my warm morning rain.

Copyright © Matthew Wetter | Year Posted 2015

Details | Lyric |
Well I got some big hair
Sittin' on my big head
And I got a big wife
Sleepin' in my big bed -
And I got a big reason 
For singin' this song -
It's great to be me,
'Cause I'm never wrong.

Gonna build a big wall
To keep them Mexicans out;
Gonna make 'em all pay
"Cause that's what I'm about
Gonna build it high,
Gonna build it long -
And it's a good idea,
'Cause I'm never wrong.

You might think I'd care
When the facts don't match-
You might think I'd feel
There was some kinda catch -
But whatever you say,
Whatever you do;
If I say that it's so, 
It just has to be true.

     I'm never wrong,
     I'm never wrong
     I'm never wrong
     I punish the weak
     Because I worship the strong
     And that's okay,
     'Cause I'm never wrong.

So I got my own plane
To fly over my crowd;
They like me brash,
They like me loud.
They all wanna believe
I'm gonna make 'em great
Though really I think
They're all second-rate.

So I tell 'em the things
I know they wanna hear;
I been tellin' these tales
Since this time last year.
No need for the truth
Or humility -
Just so long as they hate
That gal Hilary.

You might think that I'd blanch
When they call me out,
Or even admit
To a moment of doubt -
But that just wouldn't be me,
Because it wouldn't seem strong;
And it might suggest
That I could be wrong.

     I'm never wrong
     I'm never wrong
     I'm never wrong 
     Gonna have to face Hilary
     Before very long -
     And then we'll all see
     If I'm ever wrong.

     And then we'll all see
     If I'm ever wrong.

Copyright © William Masonis | Year Posted 2016

Details | Lyric |
(song lyrics)
Verse 1:
Now I can’t go fishin’, ‘cuz ya’ sold my rod and reel
Can’t go snow-racin’, ‘cuz ya’ sold my snowmobile
And I got flaws - that’s for sure - and sometimes run amuck
But the final straw that I can’t take: Ya’ sold my pickup truck

Chorus:
You can burn the house, shoot my dog and stomp my ol’ guitar
But when you sold my pickup truck, well, Honey, ya’ went too far

Verse 2:
I didn’t care when ya’ bought that stuff on TV’s QVC
Or ‘cause ya’ always thought of me as your private Money Tree
Or catalog-orderin’ ever’thing from within ol’ Sears Roebuck
But I’ll be danged if I’ll sit still since ya’ sold my pickup truck!

Chorus:
You can burn the house, shoot my dog and stomp my ol’ guitar
But when you sold my pickup truck, well, Honey, ya’ went too far

Verse 3:
So I went and saw a gypsy gal, and a curse on you imposed
To put sand in your chewin' gum and runners in your panty hose
And all your clothes and accessories to never, ever match
And chiggers in your bed sheets - so you’ll always have to scratch!

Chorus:
You can burn the house, shoot my dog and stomp my ol’ guitar
But when you sold my pickup truck, well, Honey, ya’ went too far

Verse 4:
I seen ya’ last Saturday night at Bubba’s Bar and Grill
The image of you in stripes and checks remains within me still
And them red chigger welts upon your nose and face
Tells me that the gypsy curse is workin’ ever’ place!

Chorus:
You can burn the house, shoot my dog and stomp my ol’ guitar
But when you sold my pickup truck, well, Honey, ya’ went too far

Copyright © Jack Clark | Year Posted 2014

Details | Lyric |
I took a pill in the morning
for a discrete rendezvous
Then another that evening
just before my date fell through

You know I must have been dreaming
cause she showed up out of the blue
At least I thought she was poking fun
when she said how something felt new

Oh it's sad but true

Now all the fellas are jealous
since I'm packing heat for two
And all their ladies they love me
cause they've seen the tricks I can do

I just assumed she was satisfied
as the bond between us grew
Yet her inbox is still not full
and I'm stuffing it into my shoe

It's sad but true
Oh if you only knew

Copyright © Ryan Lucas | Year Posted 2016

Details | Lyric |
I bring hit after hit like a boxer
You haters' inconsistent
Everybody's on the same vibe
Mine's kinda' different
Verse hot, hook hot--
I'm gon' sellout soon as I drop
Verse hot, hook hot--
I'm gon' sellout soon as I drop

Minor in poetry, fine-arts major

Doctor goon on deck, call this a fear-factor

I'm going in, but I ain't got no curfew

I son a lot of you, it's like I birth you

Got a lot of verses, but this ain't a Bible

Fallout when you hear this, I ain't liable

Ain't talking 'bout tearing, but the beats R.I.P

Didn't sell a lot of tracks, but I got D.O.E

Put you up on game, my hustle's M.O.E

Music over everything, ain't moving 'D'

I got cash like the bank, I sell CD's

Smells funny, tickled my nose, I might sneeze

You would think I'm water, the way I flow

I'm just like some dynamite, bound to blow

Act like you're in a recliner, lay back

If I ain't on fire, then why they say that?

Feature, feature, can I get a feature

So far ahead I sit on competition--bleacher

My Raps' like a bunch of apartment buildings, complex

Got chicks on my jock', ain't talking 'bout sex

I'm so different, it's magnificent

Haters want me to fall, but that's not how the script went

Thing's fishy, I ain't gettin' caught in that net

Just killed the beat, without breaking a sweat

Copyright © Arcene Janvier | Year Posted 2013

Details | Lyric |
I used to be quite a character Back in those days when I was young When hanging out with all my friends We used to have so much fun Staying up all night Until we would suddenly see the sun Oh man I really miss those younger days Maybe gathering at someones house Whos parents would then be gone Turn the music up loud so when we got buzzed We would all start to sing along Some would take a toke or two And it would sometimes do them wrong But man I really miss those younger days When the party was over,you found a driver That's straight enough to drive you home You always make sure that you had one So you wouldn't be left there all alone Back in those good old days Nobody even cared about useing phones Oh man I really miss those younger days The next day you would take an aspirin Because that's what you did,to get through Not one of those pills or funky drugs That you so easily now get hooked on to Back in those older days That was all there was left to really do I sure do really miss those younger days
DannyBoy:1-18-13

Copyright © Dan Kearley | Year Posted 2013

Details | Lyric |
Rapping has no Ethnicity be ye 
Greek, Jew, Afro, White, Hispanic, 
Chinese, Japanese, Other.

Yo man, go rap out the Soul.
Tell your story, cuss the enemy
In ways they can't understand.

These are the times when you
Get on the Move to Groove into
Real-time electronic technology!

Don't just go boom, boom, boom;
What the Hell is that?
Teach the Young dignity, respect
for others too.

Yacoo, Yacoo, a da da da, uh huh,
My child can't learn nothing from
That, so teach, preach, inform!

I like the beat, rhythm, mix turns
And twists;
But for heaven's sake let me learn
From your choice of words, how to 
Live in this World of ours!

Copyright © Rainbow Promise | Year Posted 2015

Details | Lyric |
Too much Viagra and beer.
Too much Viagra and beer.
My wife was out of town,
I hit every club around.
Each time I'd hope to find
A horny woman here.

Country Bob's was the last club that was open.
Near blind drunk and horny, but I was still hopin'.
A pretty woman gave me a glance,
Smiled and said, "Nice pants.
Honey, I'm ridin' if you're ropin'."

A few hours later, I was in a Helluva mess
She's still ridin' hard and screamin', "God, this is the best!"
I was dizzy and light-headed. I had pains in my chest,
But she wouldn't stop long enough to call EMS.

When I came to, I was home in my own bed,
Next to my lovely wife; and this is what she said:
"I picked you up at Country Bob's, my dear;
And there's gonna be some changes around here.

You were fantastic last night;
So, I only think its right
If I supplement your diet 
With Viagra and beer."

Viagra and beer. Viagra and beer.
She treats me like a king,
Says I make her body sing;
So, She makes sure I get my Viagra and beer.

Viagra and beer. Viagra and beer.
Yeah, she makes sure I get my Viagra and beer.

We're like newlyweds. 
I need a break sometime.

Submitted by: Buzz O'Words
Written: 3/3/14

Copyright © Robert Candler | Year Posted 2014

Details | Lyric |
It’s a Secret

It’s a secret
If you keep it
If you mean it to keep
It’s our little secret, I shall whisper 
Promise never to speak

It’s a secret
Never told you
Never told anyone
Now you know it, the truth…  It can’t be undone
It’s a secret. It’s a secret never to be unsung

Don’t you show it
Pretend not to know it
Keep it close to your heart
Cause it’s not a secret if you go out…before
The hoarders of secrets after the dark in Lahore 

If you tell it
Might as well have yelled it
And that simply won’t do
Have to make the secret an agreement between just us two
Swear it and never dare it, keep it close to the heart

Now you told it, so you sold it
Now you know what must be
A secret is no secret when is more than us you see
Let your hair down, let you eyes close,
It’s just you and me

As the poison makes its it motion
Soon you will sleep eternally
Now it’s a real secret,
So secret
Even if it’s out there somewhere
No one knows it for sure, if you cant say what they dare
So sleep deeply and forget it
The promises we made

If you cant keep a secret
Or know when lips sealed
You will have to weep it
As you bleed it
And dig your own grave
You are lifeless and are flightless
Secrets can be so re-made

To the graveyard, goes the keeper
Of secrets un-screamed
To the graveyard, goes the seeker
Whose claims are inane

It’s a secret
If you keep it
If you mean it to keep
It’s our little secret, I whisper as you 
Promise never to speak

Copyright © arthur vaso | Year Posted 2016

Details | Lyric |
Real Deal Woman
Flit

Now, honey don't you play around 
You know that it ain’t right 
You be the man who brings to me
A man-size... Appetite

Don't need to go so fast
Just let me set the pace
Turn my green light into Red 
There ain’t No need to race

I’m all that you need
You've already won
I’m all that you need
I’m your real deal woman

It’s something we got cooking  
mix it till it hits the spot 
because I’m full of loving
I'll keep it extra hot 

You’re fueling up my heartbeat
My engine starts to roar 
Cos now it's time to show you
You don't need her anymore

I’m all that you need
You've already won
I’m all that you need
I’m your real deal woman

I’m all that you need
You've already won
I’m all that you need
I’m your real deal woman

Copyright © Flit Flit | Year Posted 2013

Details | Lyric |
I’ll tell you all a story
Tis one close to my heart
Has love, Has life, It has a cow
A haystack torn apart
The man in question?
Well that be me.
The setting?
Cheltenham Town
So gather all, come, sit around
My tale I shall tell

Refrain:
Oh the pastor’s daughter Nelly
Now she was a lovely lass
Oh quick and witty as the lark
But stubborn as an ass
Her buxom form drove men insane
She let none of them know her name
And well she played them at their game
Did that there lovely lass

Now in that town there was a girl
Just where I used to work
Her Pa a Christian minister
Her Ma a moll did lurk
The cow they kept from nine till five
Was only just for show
Oh what a family they did keep
And now you all shall know

Refrain

Well home came John the night before
A tad the worse for wear
He’d been with Nelly’s ma he said
She’d legs just like a bear
We shivered and drew him up a pint
His story for to tell
when up he sprang and spilt the glass
A Wager! he did yell

Refrain

Three and fifty pounds he cried
For the bra of lovely Nell
Brought to me by sunrise boys
Or the wager’s gone to hell
Toward the door we all were bid
Each man was mustard keen
John he rubbed his hands he did
His plan was yet unseen

Refrain

I quickly made for Craddock farm
Where I knew young Nell did sleep
So soon I came upon the barn
And so began to creep
The darkness swarmed around me
I couldn’t see ‘out all
Save a white and lacy garment
Residing by the stall

Refrain

I moved to towards the brassieres
And felt the clasp behind
When skin touched skin
Dizzying, I thought I lost my mind
Then suddenly the loudest moo
Ye’ll ever likely hear
did echo round the stable
and deafened my left ear

Refrain

Out sprang Nell from the haystack
And slapped me well and good
The brassiered cow was most perturbed
And bolted for the wood
I stood in shock aghast to know 
what a fool that I must look
When in walked Nelly’s father
With aloft his holy book

Refrain

So now I wander banished
From the town I called my own
The clergy all now hate me
Though I am not well known
You’ll see me in the towns and pubs
With a wench or drink in hand
And so I’ll end my tale right now
Go forth,strike up the band

Copyright © The Red Rain | Year Posted 2013

Details | Lyric |
I got my camo, got my ammo, gun, hunting boots an beer, gonna scare me a few critters as I hunt me down some deer. As long as the music's loud they'll be running in full fear, boys now watch your sites and we'll have happy hunting here. Oh Man I'm Going Hunting, God I Love It Out There I Do! Oh Man I'm Going Hunting, now what do I got to loose? My knife is razor sharp so I can gut them right on through, and my phone is charged up for the pictures to prove it's true. But that tin foil service out here cuts my bars right down da two. Got all my hunting buddies with me so what do I got to prove? Oh Man I'm Going Hunting, God I Love It Out There I Do! Oh Man I'm Going Hunting, now what do I got to loose? Well the trucks packed up an I got me a big ole buck, three years down the line finely came across some luck. As long as this big ole' Chevy doesn't get me near to stuck, couple months down the line an I'll be shooting at some ducks. Oh Man I'm Going Hunting, God I Love It Out There I Do! Oh Man I'm Going Hunting, now what do I got to loose?
Contest: Lyrics- By Anne Currin Dan Kearley:7-10-13 ©

Copyright © Dan Kearley | Year Posted 2013

Details | Lyric |
Raised above the cello ding ding ding                                                                                                 Reaching out to say hello song song song                                                                                           Stepping in the ring gong gong gong                                                                                                  Well that’s just all wrong ping ping ping                                                                                      Pauper’s know not his king pong pong pong                                                                                         The cloth was not cut swing swing swing

Copyright © John Beam | Year Posted 2017

Details | Lyric |
Fish in my Hair


I have a fish in my hair
Now really who would say so as I sit in my chair?
You all looking with your weird funny stares
All because I got me a fish in my hair

Fish in my hair
Fish in my hair
Let’s go fishing
And fish for more fashion ware

I have a fish in my hair
I smell like trout with sauce so tasty and fair
I have to sit all pretty and quite lady like
The painters no fisherman, he cant catch a pike

Fish in my hair
Fish in my hair
Let’s go fishing
And fish for more fashion ware

They say I am pretty and adorable too
It all sounds so fishy, they say it too woo
They think I don’t smell the fish in my hair
Do they stare at my hair or the fish with such flair

Fish in my hair
Fish in my hair
Let’s go fishing
And fish for more fashion ware

I like to climb trees
I like to play in the mud
Not very lady like they say with blue blood
With a fish in my hair I can do as I please!

Fish in my hair
Fish in my hair
Let’s go fishing
And fish for more fashion ware

Copyright © arthur vaso | Year Posted 2016

Details | Lyric |
Please help me, I've fallen
In Lust with You.
You're just so damn sexy,
That's why I'm hittin' on you.
You don't have to love me,
Some good sex will do.
Please help me, I've fallen
In Lust with You.

Yes, you turned me on
When I saw you walk in...
The face of an Angel,
A body just made for Sin.
Now, I may be real horny,
But one thing is true:
What would satisfy me, Girl
Would be to satisfy You.

So please help me, I've fallen
In Lust with You; 
And I hope that you're fallin'
In Lust with me too;
But if not, then please fake it,
Please don't leave me "blue"...
Please help me, I've fallen
In  Lust  with  You.

Copyright © Robert Candler | Year Posted 2014

Details | Lyric |
I whispered lightly as a rose
To grease my oily bagpipe,
And sniffing with her hairy nose
A dwarf flew into sight.

‘Pull down your flabby chopsticks, man.’
She ordered like a waiter,
And lowering my name to Stan
Got on all fours to cater.

‘I am Dame Doris Chucklebum.’
She laughed but half an inch.
‘I like things that are rarely done.’
Then stroked me with a pinch.

‘Take back thy sweaty chollocks, love.’
I pleaded like a pro,
And with a hefty boxing glove
Took on the lady so.

It lasted less than half a tick,
Less if you counted slow.
And with a little knowing trick
Fled fleeing on the go.

‘Come back! Don’t go!’ she wept with ploy,
‘I’ll change like Whitney Whopper.’
Enjoying but a little joy
And playing with her chopper.

Copyright © Wayne Riley | Year Posted 2014

Details | Lyric |
On the first day of Christmas, net spammers sent to me . . . 
    . . . a cut-rate Canadian Pharmacy
On the second day of Christmas, net spammers sent to me . . . 
    . . . two insurance quotes
On the third day of Christmas, net spammers sent to me . . . 
    . . . three free credit scores
On the fourth day of Christmas, net spammers sent to me . . . 
    . . . four grow your *****
On the fifth day of Christmas, net spammers sent to me . . . 
    . . . five thousand dollars guaranteed!
On the sixth day of Christmas, net spammers sent to me . . . 
    . . . six extended warranties
On the seventh day of Christmas, net spammers sent to me . . . 
    . . . seven stock alerts
On the eighth day of Christmas, net spammers sent to me . . . 
    . . . eight work from homes
On the ninth day of Christmas, net spammers sent to me . . . 
    . . . nine Nigerian emails
On the tenth day of Christmas, net spammers sent to me . . . 
    . . . ten get out of debts
On the eleventh day of Christmas, net spammers sent to me . . . 
    . . . eleven singles meet ups
On the twelfth day of Christmas, net spammers sent to me . . . 
    . . . twelve hot Asian brides

Copyright © Gary Watkins | Year Posted 2013

Details | Lyric |
If history was food part 2







Copyright © Michael Ward | Year Posted 2014

Details | Lyric |
Running, running everywhere 
Fast or slow, do I care?
uphill, downhill, roads and grass
I just never want to crash

The freedom I feel when I run
Feels good to say it’s really fun
Checking my time, checking my pace
Helps me prepare for my next race

Racing you say how can I be
Racing at age sixty-three
My knees don’t hurt they feel good
Keeping active I know I should

5K, 8 mile and now a half
What am I doing? Am I daf?
I’m going to enjoy all that I can
I’ll always be my number 1 fan!
By barbara poor…..

Copyright © Barbara Poor | Year Posted 2014

Details | Lyric |
If had a computer or two
Lord I could raise my views
If I had two I tell ya what I would do
Crazy computers crazy computers
But Lord you know what’s true
I got one computer hope doesn’t overload
Well I thought she was a girl
I meet her online
So fortunate this time
She heard a had computer or two
Lord those crazy computers crazy computers
I got one computer hope doesn’t overload
Hey now mama
With forward and send
You are your next friend
She knows my computer I have heard
Lord she knows I’m a computer nerd
I got one computer hope doesn’t overload
Well my baby went out
Now it’s gone
Got no computer using the phone
She is crazy with computers
Yeah she crazy with computers
What the Ph....

Copyright © John Beam | Year Posted 2015

Details | Lyric |
Jack and John
went up the hill
to make us all a'giggle
They won't calm down
and when they clown
Our bellies are a'jiggle

A lim-er-ick
will do the trick
to get us all a'laughing
they write so well
each rhyme...a spell
That gets us all guffawing

They write of "wind",
they write of poop,
Each one a silly ditty
but here's the deal
These two are real
Their writes are really witty

Now Jack and John
just banter on
and comment to each other
They like to please
Oh, how they tease
As "funnies" they uncover!!

~~~~~~The END!!!!~~~~~

For Casarah Nance's 101 contest
September 9, 2015
Yes....The END is part of the word count! ;)





Copyright © Eileen Manassian | Year Posted 2015

Details | Lyric |
(These are lyrics to a song I wrote called "Blasphemy")

Verses:
Mother Mary sat on a bench with me today
But I couldn't think of one goddamn thing to say
'Cept, "Mother, oh! Won't you please save my soul right now?
I'd gladly do it but I don't know exactly how"
Hail Mary! Bless me twice!
Judas betrayed Jesus Christ
In Revelations, prophets said
John the Baptist lost his head

Chorus:
You gotta pander to my ego
Herod was my hero
Why didn't Noah's Ark fall apart?
Genesis was...just the start

Verses:
St. Peter slammed those Pearly Gates right into my fuc*ing face
Just too much sin I can't get in; no mansion there for me awaits
The wife of Lot, she turned to salt, but it was not all her fault
She ran away and then looked back as Sodom burned, and that's a fact

Repeat Chorus...

Verses:
Well, life was Hell so Jonah sailed into the belly of a whale
Daniel in the lion's lair; Delilah chopped off Samson's hair
Cain killed Abel out of spite as the Lamb of God got sacrificed
There came the Whore of Babylon while Thomas doubted every-one

Repeat Chorus...

**Just trying to post something a little different ;)

Copyright © Just That Archaic Poet | Year Posted 2013

Details | Lyric |
Hey, Ho! A pub’ng we go… And I’ll bring along, those Zany Trolls.
What’s better, than to drink, with friends, my Dear… as merrily, off we go!

We’ll leave the frats, in the dust, and bring The Bun, merrily, along.
He had a great run, at Easter time, now he can let, the good times roll.
Who knows best, than a nest of Trolls, how to have, a really great time!
A Biker Bar should fill our sails, as we go, courting the best… of it all.

Hey, Ho! A pub’ng we go… And I’ll bring along, those Zany Trolls.
What’s better, than to drink, with friends, my Dear…as merrily, off we go!

The beers great, the girls’ first rate, I’ll ride a full-blown Harley Hog.
To ride them down, across the town, my hair, flowing behind, in the air.
But first we’ll make a new drinking song, betting on, who’s best, by far.
Biker Dudes, Trolls enthused, raise their mugs in unity, again, once more!

Hey, Ho! A pub’ng we go… And I’ll bring along, those Zany Trolls.
What’s better, than to drink, with friends, my Dear… as merrily, off we go!

It’s all fun, as with pool cues in hand, we try to, learn to play Eight Ball.
We’ll dance on the floor, and some on the bar, as rowdier we become.
But we’re the best, with glass in fist, as we sing our new… drinking song.
So don’t be glum! Here, come along, to laughter amid, such joyful fun.
 
Hey, Ho! A pub’ng we go… And I’ll bring along, those Zany Trolls.
What’s better, than to drink, with friends, my Dear… as merrily, off we go!

We’ll have fun, then move along, as our song wins, and the tab is yours.
You can join, as comes, the next bar, and we’ll, start all over, once more!
It’s party time, until dawn, for Trolls can hold, great quantities of rum.
As drinking games come, we win every time, as the losers pay the bill.

Hey, Ho! A pub’ng we go… And I’ll bring along, those, Zany Trolls.
What’s better, than to drink, with friends, my Dear…as merrily, off we go!

(A drinking song for the pure fun it: sung like a pirate song clinking mugs.)

Copyright © Carol Eastman | Year Posted 2013