Lyric Humorous Poems | Lyric Poems About Humorous

These Lyric Humorous poems are examples of Lyric poems about Humorous. These are the best examples of Lyric Humorous poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Lyric |

HE'S OUT OF MY LIFE

LOOSELY BASED ON THE MICHAEL JACKSON SONG SHE’S OUT OF MY LIFE

He’s out of my life
Because he’s got a wife
And I don’t know whether to laugh or cry
If I see him now I’d whack him in the eye
But if I had a knife
I’d pass it on to his wife

He would hold my hands
We’d make love on the sands
To think for two years he was here
He had the best of both worlds now he lives in fear
So I better not expand
Or I’ll soon be on remand!

So I’ve learned that I’m not his possession
And I’ve learned that this guy I hate
Now he’s gone and I’ve got depression
But I’ve learned too late

He's out of my life
Gone back to his wife
Guess I loved him but found out he lied
If I get my hands on him I’ll end up inside
And it cuts like a knife
But the rat is out of my life

Jan Allison
10th August 2014

Copyright © JAN ALLISON | Year Posted 2014



Details | Haiku |

The Internet: Rtrn

A void of Facebook
Creativity dies here...
Procrastination!

Copyright © Dan Keir | Year Posted 2013

Details | Light Poetry |

The Call of the Alpha Male

Robin Hood, man in tights Julius Caesar, might makes right Alexander, called "the Great" Sitting Bull, righteous hate Robert the Bruce, Attila the Hun Charlemagne, Napoleon Hear the call of the alpha male! Warriors leave a bloody trail. George Washington, man on the spot JFK and Camelot Thomas Jefferson, renaissance man Abe Lincoln took a stand Ronald Reagan, Richard III Henry VIII, Harry Byrd Hear the call of the alpha male! In politics it's all for sale. Hemingway, Shakespeare, Kant, and Plato Chaucer, Shelley, Cicero, Cato Voltaire, Dickens, Rene Descartes Byron, Lawrence, Jean-Paul Sartre Hear the call of the alpha male! Some prefer to write the tale. Wolfgang Mozart, dead so young Leonard Bernstein's song is sung Picasso, art you love to hate Ludwig Beethoven, voice of Fate Bach, Lennon, and Shostakovich Monet, Manet, Buddy Rich Hear the call of the alpha male! Art and music fill some sails. Joe Montana, football star Michael Jordan raised the bar Wayne Gretzsky, Hall of Fame Jesse Owens changed the game Rockne, Ruth, Gehrig, Orr Chamberlain, Beckham, Man O' War Hear the call of the alpha male! Athletic prowess up for sale. Tyrone Power, Harrison Ford John Glenn, Sir Thomas More Edmund Hillary, John Donne Albert Einstein, Brigham Young James Dean, Alvin York Margaret Thatcher, Robert Bork Audie Murphy, Mohandas Gandhi Chris Columbus, Walter Ralegh Hear the call of the alpha male! Now it's time to end this tale. Woe to she who hears his cry, Destined, like as not, to die; For alpha males blaze bright and sweet, But she-moths burn inside their heat.

Copyright © Mary Oliver Rotman | Year Posted 2015



Details | Light Poetry |

Pinhead Lizard

Pinhead Lizard
Ever since he was a young boy
He played with balls of fire
From church halls to Soho brothels
He must have had them all
Aint seen nothing like this pinhead
In any amusement hall

That deaf, dumb and dumber kid
Sure plays a mean ol shtick

He weeps at mother Mary’s feet
Becomes part of the molesting dream
Feeling proud at his insulting whit
This Pinhead lizard
Sure is a wee wee twit
The gods looks down in smite and anger

That deaf, dumb and dumber kid
Sure plays a mean mean shtick

He’s a pinhead lizard
Maybe he’s drunk and very pissed
That pinhead lizard sure has a mean twist

How do you think he justifies
God sure hasn’t got a clue
What makes him an evil lizard?
Should have made him into a shoe

Aint got no education
Can’t bear the voices of reason
Don’t see no lights bulbs in that ones head
Makes no sense, but tosses insults like stale bread


He thought he was the charmer
He’s just a pinhead lizard with no crown

Ever since he was young boy
That lizard never grew up
He defames Jesus and preaches
Are all the lizards this lame?
He has his flip flop slippers
No wonder he always falls
Never failing to de-fame

He’s a pinhead lizard
Maybe he’s drunk and very pissed
That pinhead lizard sure has a mean mean twist

Written Sep 14, 2001 Parody on the song Pinball Wizard and a video game at the time!

Copyright © arthur vaso | Year Posted 2015

Details | Lyric |

Oh Uhura - To Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah

There was a Starship Enterprise,
It was the ruler of the skies,
But you don't really care for sci-fi, do you?
With Captain Kirk
And Mr Spock
And don’t forget the trademark jock,
And there upon the bridge you’ll find Uhura

Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura 
Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura

You’ll find Bones Macoy down in sickbay,
“I’m a doctor Jim” he’d say,
And cure whatever space bug ran through you,
He’ll banish away every cough,
Even if your name’s Chekov,
Or perhaps you might be sweet Uhura

Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura
Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura

To make the starship up and go,
The man you really need to know,
Is the Helm officer called Sulu,
But if it’s a message you’d like to send,
Then of course you can depend,
Upon the talented Miss Uhura,

Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura
Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura

Your voyage lasted three short years
But despite the trekkie’s fears,
It wouldn’t be the last time that we’d view you,
Of feature films there’d be twelve,
Before the franchise they would shelve,
But we won’t forget you dear Uhura

Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura
Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura
Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura
Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura

Oh Uhura

Copyright © Sharon Smith | Year Posted 2013

Details | Narrative |

A HUMOUROUS NARRATIVE FOR LYRIC MAN

Dave made a comment about his cowboy boots so I simply had to weave this joke into a little narrative

An elderly couple moved to Texas and the old man had always wanted some cowboy boots
Guess he dreamed of being a cowboy and getting involved in shootouts
So he buys the boots and walks into the kitchen wearing them like a prize
He asks his wife if she notices anything different but she says nothing
He gets a bit annoyed, goes off and strips naked except for the boots
‘Notice anything different now?’ he says to his wife
She looks down at him and says…
‘What’s different – its hanging down today.. it was hanging down yesterday and it will be again tomorrow’.
Well he’s not too happy and says ’and do you know why it’s hanging down?’
‘No’ she says
‘It’s hanging down because it’s looking at my new cowboy boots’
She doesn’t change her expression and replies
‘Shoulda bought a hat dear, you shoulda bought a hat’

Hope it raises a smile!

Jan Allison
18th August 2014

Copyright © JAN ALLISON | Year Posted 2014

Details | Lyric |

Hot Love In The Kitchen

Inspired By T Rex 'Hot Love'

Well she's his woman of gold 
She won't do as she's told 
A ha ha 
She's his woman of gold 
She shouldn't be so bold
When her hands are that cold 
A ha ha 
 
She casts her spell like a witch
She's not wearing a stitch 
A ha ha
She casts her spell like a witch 
She's not wearing a stitch 
A ha ha 
She really knows how to love
in her marigold gloves 
A ha ha .
 
Well I’m faster than most and I cook a mean roast
A ha ha 
Well I’m faster than most but I still burn the toast
A ha ha
In my sexy purple nightie I look rather flighty
A ha ha

Well she aint no witch 
but she sure makes me twitch 
a ha ha 
Well she aint no witch
but she makes my life rich 
A ha ha
I'm her two cent prince
and I give her hot love 
A ha ha 
ow ow hmmm

La la la la la la la
Oooh ooh the things she can make me do
Oooh ooh She can lay me down 
A ha ha 
La la la la la la la 
ooooh oooh oooh 
La la la


 17th May 2014
By Jan Allison & Darren Watson

Copyright © JADAZZLE UNITED | Year Posted 2014

Details | Lyric |

Cowboys Can Change

Inspired by another poem by another poet---------just for fun



Oh, I didn't know that cowboys
weren't respected and revered
John Wayne, when he passed away
Brought me close to tears
But now I know that people
Think we're all just trailer trash
So I've taken of my boots
And tossing out my hats

There's no more eating beans
upon these dirty plates
And movin' from this trailer park
Oh brother I can wait
But, putting cars on blocks
Oil changes in the yard
Stopping those activities
I swear it will be hard

Beer cans won't get piled high
In a pyramid, way out back
My pit bulls won't be barkin'
Always ready to attack
Soon I'll trade-in my pick-up
For a brand new SUV
And I'll become more citified 
For the whole dang world to see


I won't mistreat my woman
And call her an old cow
And I won't let my kid's
Ride a bull, or catch a sow
Oh, I didn't know that cowboys
Were just lazy and no good
So we're moving from the country
Right to your neighborhood 



Copyright © Jerry T Curtis | Year Posted 2014

Details | Lyric |

BEATLES PARODY - WHEN I'M 94 - ALTERNATIVE VERSION BY SILLYBILLY THE KIDSTER ADDED

Sung to the melody of when I’m 64 by The Beatles Gotta keep working an extra few years (Not like years ago) Governments are screwing us for every dime I can’t afford a bottle of wine Hip's been replaced Yes I’m getting old I’m too old to twerk But I’m so needy and my pension won’t feed me But I’m ninety four! Written after being inspired by ‘Stupid People’ poem by SillyBilly theKidster https://www.poetrysoup.com/poem/stupid_people_900910 05~16~17 Now That I'm 64 by SillyBilly the Kidster I gotta keep working an extra few years, not like years before. Government is screwing me for every dime, I can’t afford a bottle of wine. Hip's been replaced, yes I’m getting old. I Can't Work Any More, but I'm still needy, social security won't feed me, now that I'm 64. 05~17~17

Copyright © JAN ALLISON | Year Posted 2017

Details | Lyric |

My Bucket 'The Short List'

The day I turned the big 5 0
My friends all said to me
You got to make a Bucket List 
Of things to do and see

So, I sat there on my cozy couch
With pen and pad in hand
And wrote a hundred things I'm sure
No one would understand

The first thing on the list I wrote
Was simply getting High
I'd score some Marijuana
and give that weed a try

Now It's been ten years later
You would think I had some fun
And probably went through half my list
But, I'm stuck on number One 

So it's clear---this is a work of fiction---lol

Copyright © Jerry T Curtis | Year Posted 2016

Details | Lyric |

The Morning Rain

Every morning I dance naked
Singing in the morning rain.
None are there to observe my antics
None to share a laugh or pain.

Well, the angels perhaps.
I'm sure they chuckle
When I reword tunes
From the radio's knuckle.

I'll sing opera, in my strongest untuned voice
With a cast of one, and an audience the same
Oh the cat?  Yep, he's both one and none
More interested in the craziness than the game.

He'll accompany me, sometimes (singing, not showering)
And mewl in his finest voice
Mostly he just keeps me company 
'Cause he can, by choice.

So before the sun is awake
And before the sky blazes orange and the stars wane
And before my waking dreams have faded
My song resounds in my warm morning rain.

Copyright © Matthew Wetter | Year Posted 2015

Details | Lyric |

I'm Never Wrong - A Country Tune for Donald Trump

Well I got some big hair
Sittin' on my big head
And I got a big wife
Sleepin' in my big bed -
And I got a big reason 
For singin' this song -
It's great to be me,
'Cause I'm never wrong.

Gonna build a big wall
To keep them Mexicans out;
Gonna make 'em all pay
"Cause that's what I'm about
Gonna build it high,
Gonna build it long -
And it's a good idea,
'Cause I'm never wrong.

You might think I'd care
When the facts don't match-
You might think I'd feel
There was some kinda catch -
But whatever you say,
Whatever you do;
If I say that it's so, 
It just has to be true.

     I'm never wrong,
     I'm never wrong
     I'm never wrong
     I punish the weak
     Because I worship the strong
     And that's okay,
     'Cause I'm never wrong.

So I got my own plane
To fly over my crowd;
They like me brash,
They like me loud.
They all wanna believe
I'm gonna make 'em great
Though really I think
They're all second-rate.

So I tell 'em the things
I know they wanna hear;
I been tellin' these tales
Since this time last year.
No need for the truth
Or humility -
Just so long as they hate
That gal Hilary.

You might think that I'd blanch
When they call me out,
Or even admit
To a moment of doubt -
But that just wouldn't be me,
Because it wouldn't seem strong;
And it might suggest
That I could be wrong.

     I'm never wrong
     I'm never wrong
     I'm never wrong 
     Gonna have to face Hilary
     Before very long -
     And then we'll all see
     If I'm ever wrong.

     And then we'll all see
     If I'm ever wrong.

Copyright © William Masonis | Year Posted 2016

Details | Lyric |

My Pickup Truck

(song lyrics)
Verse 1:
Now I can’t go fishin’, ‘cuz ya’ sold my rod and reel
Can’t go snow-racin’, ‘cuz ya’ sold my snowmobile
And I got flaws - that’s for sure - and sometimes run amuck
But the final straw that I can’t take: Ya’ sold my pickup truck

Chorus:
You can burn the house, shoot my dog and stomp my ol’ guitar
But when you sold my pickup truck, well, Honey, ya’ went too far

Verse 2:
I didn’t care when ya’ bought that stuff on TV’s QVC
Or ‘cause ya’ always thought of me as your private Money Tree
Or catalog-orderin’ ever’thing from within ol’ Sears Roebuck
But I’ll be danged if I’ll sit still since ya’ sold my pickup truck!

Chorus:
You can burn the house, shoot my dog and stomp my ol’ guitar
But when you sold my pickup truck, well, Honey, ya’ went too far

Verse 3:
So I went and saw a gypsy gal, and a curse on you imposed
To put sand in your chewin' gum and runners in your panty hose
And all your clothes and accessories to never, ever match
And chiggers in your bed sheets - so you’ll always have to scratch!

Chorus:
You can burn the house, shoot my dog and stomp my ol’ guitar
But when you sold my pickup truck, well, Honey, ya’ went too far

Verse 4:
I seen ya’ last Saturday night at Bubba’s Bar and Grill
The image of you in stripes and checks remains within me still
And them red chigger welts upon your nose and face
Tells me that the gypsy curse is workin’ ever’ place!

Chorus:
You can burn the house, shoot my dog and stomp my ol’ guitar
But when you sold my pickup truck, well, Honey, ya’ went too far

Copyright © Jack Clark | Year Posted 2014

Details | Lyric |

KILL A BEAT 2

I bring hit after hit like a boxer
You haters' inconsistent
Everybody's on the same vibe
Mine's kinda' different
Verse hot, hook hot--
I'm gon' sellout soon as I drop
Verse hot, hook hot--
I'm gon' sellout soon as I drop

Minor in poetry, fine-arts major

Doctor goon on deck, call this a fear-factor

I'm going in, but I ain't got no curfew

I son a lot of you, it's like I birth you

Got a lot of verses, but this ain't a Bible

Fallout when you hear this, I ain't liable

Ain't talking 'bout tearing, but the beats R.I.P

Didn't sell a lot of tracks, but I got D.O.E

Put you up on game, my hustle's M.O.E

Music over everything, ain't moving 'D'

I got cash like the bank, I sell CD's

Smells funny, tickled my nose, I might sneeze

You would think I'm water, the way I flow

I'm just like some dynamite, bound to blow

Act like you're in a recliner, lay back

If I ain't on fire, then why they say that?

Feature, feature, can I get a feature

So far ahead I sit on competition--bleacher

My Raps' like a bunch of apartment buildings, complex

Got chicks on my jock', ain't talking 'bout sex

I'm so different, it's magnificent

Haters want me to fall, but that's not how the script went

Thing's fishy, I ain't gettin' caught in that net

Just killed the beat, without breaking a sweat

Copyright © Arcene Janvier | Year Posted 2013

Details | Lyric |

Enlargement Pill

I took a pill in the morning
for a discrete rendezvous
Then another that evening
just before my date fell through

You know I must have been dreaming
cause she showed up out of the blue
At least I thought she was poking fun
when she said how something felt new

Oh it's sad but true

Now all the fellas are jealous
since I'm packing heat for two
And all their ladies they love me
cause they've seen the tricks I can do

I just assumed she was satisfied
as the bond between us grew
Yet her inbox is still not full
and I'm stuffing it into my shoe

It's sad but true
Oh if you only knew

Copyright © Ryan Lucas | Year Posted 2016

Details | Lyric |

Those Younger Days

I used to be quite a character Back in those days when I was young When hanging out with all my friends We used to have so much fun Staying up all night Until we would suddenly see the sun Oh man I really miss those younger days Maybe gathering at someones house Whos parents would then be gone Turn the music up loud so when we got buzzed We would all start to sing along Some would take a toke or two And it would sometimes do them wrong But man I really miss those younger days When the party was over,you found a driver That's straight enough to drive you home You always make sure that you had one So you wouldn't be left there all alone Back in those good old days Nobody even cared about useing phones Oh man I really miss those younger days The next day you would take an aspirin Because that's what you did,to get through Not one of those pills or funky drugs That you so easily now get hooked on to Back in those older days That was all there was left to really do I sure do really miss those younger days
DannyBoy:1-18-13

Copyright © Dan Kearley | Year Posted 2013

Details | Lyric |

Rap Has No Ethnicity

Rapping has no Ethnicity be ye 
Greek, Jew, Afro, White, Hispanic, 
Chinese, Japanese, Other.

Yo man, go rap out the Soul.
Tell your story, cuss the enemy
In ways they can't understand.

These are the times when you
Get on the Move to Groove into
Real-time electronic technology!

Don't just go boom, boom, boom;
What the Hell is that?
Teach the Young dignity, respect
for others too.

Yacoo, Yacoo, a da da da, uh huh,
My child can't learn nothing from
That, so teach, preach, inform!

I like the beat, rhythm, mix turns
And twists;
But for heaven's sake let me learn
From your choice of words, how to 
Live in this World of ours!

Copyright © Rainbow Promise | Year Posted 2015

Details | Lyric |

Viagra and Beer

Too much Viagra and beer.
Too much Viagra and beer.
My wife was out of town,
I hit every club around.
Each time I'd hope to find
A horny woman here.

Country Bob's was the last club that was open.
Near blind drunk and horny, but I was still hopin'.
A pretty woman gave me a glance,
Smiled and said, "Nice pants.
Honey, I'm ridin' if you're ropin'."

A few hours later, I was in a Helluva mess
She's still ridin' hard and screamin', "God, this is the best!"
I was dizzy and light-headed. I had pains in my chest,
But she wouldn't stop long enough to call EMS.

When I came to, I was home in my own bed,
Next to my lovely wife; and this is what she said:
"I picked you up at Country Bob's, my dear;
And there's gonna be some changes around here.

You were fantastic last night;
So, I only think its right
If I supplement your diet 
With Viagra and beer."

Viagra and beer. Viagra and beer.
She treats me like a king,
Says I make her body sing;
So, She makes sure I get my Viagra and beer.

Viagra and beer. Viagra and beer.
Yeah, she makes sure I get my Viagra and beer.

We're like newlyweds. 
I need a break sometime.

Submitted by: Buzz O'Words
Written: 3/3/14

Copyright © Robert Candler | Year Posted 2014

Details | Haiku |

Haikus About God: III

Beauty of nature
Why condense it down to God?
Isn’t life enough?

Copyright © Dan Keir | Year Posted 2013

Details | Lyric |

It is a Secret

It’s a Secret

It’s a secret
If you keep it
If you mean it to keep
It’s our little secret, I shall whisper 
Promise never to speak

It’s a secret
Never told you
Never told anyone
Now you know it, the truth…  It can’t be undone
It’s a secret. It’s a secret never to be unsung

Don’t you show it
Pretend not to know it
Keep it close to your heart
Cause it’s not a secret if you go out…before
The hoarders of secrets after the dark in Lahore 

If you tell it
Might as well have yelled it
And that simply won’t do
Have to make the secret an agreement between just us two
Swear it and never dare it, keep it close to the heart

Now you told it, so you sold it
Now you know what must be
A secret is no secret when is more than us you see
Let your hair down, let you eyes close,
It’s just you and me

As the poison makes its it motion
Soon you will sleep eternally
Now it’s a real secret,
So secret
Even if it’s out there somewhere
No one knows it for sure, if you cant say what they dare
So sleep deeply and forget it
The promises we made

If you cant keep a secret
Or know when lips sealed
You will have to weep it
As you bleed it
And dig your own grave
You are lifeless and are flightless
Secrets can be so re-made

To the graveyard, goes the keeper
Of secrets un-screamed
To the graveyard, goes the seeker
Whose claims are inane

It’s a secret
If you keep it
If you mean it to keep
It’s our little secret, I whisper as you 
Promise never to speak

Copyright © arthur vaso | Year Posted 2016

Details | Lyric |

Real Deal Woman

Real Deal Woman
Flit

Now, honey don't you play around 
You know that it ain’t right 
You be the man who brings to me
A man-size... Appetite

Don't need to go so fast
Just let me set the pace
Turn my green light into Red 
There ain’t No need to race

I’m all that you need
You've already won
I’m all that you need
I’m your real deal woman

It’s something we got cooking  
mix it till it hits the spot 
because I’m full of loving
I'll keep it extra hot 

You’re fueling up my heartbeat
My engine starts to roar 
Cos now it's time to show you
You don't need her anymore

I’m all that you need
You've already won
I’m all that you need
I’m your real deal woman

I’m all that you need
You've already won
I’m all that you need
I’m your real deal woman

Copyright © Flit Flit | Year Posted 2013

Details | Lyric |

The Pastor's Daughter Nelly

I’ll tell you all a story
Tis one close to my heart
Has love, Has life, It has a cow
A haystack torn apart
The man in question?
Well that be me.
The setting?
Cheltenham Town
So gather all, come, sit around
My tale I shall tell

Refrain:
Oh the pastor’s daughter Nelly
Now she was a lovely lass
Oh quick and witty as the lark
But stubborn as an ass
Her buxom form drove men insane
She let none of them know her name
And well she played them at their game
Did that there lovely lass

Now in that town there was a girl
Just where I used to work
Her Pa a Christian minister
Her Ma a moll did lurk
The cow they kept from nine till five
Was only just for show
Oh what a family they did keep
And now you all shall know

Refrain

Well home came John the night before
A tad the worse for wear
He’d been with Nelly’s ma he said
She’d legs just like a bear
We shivered and drew him up a pint
His story for to tell
when up he sprang and spilt the glass
A Wager! he did yell

Refrain

Three and fifty pounds he cried
For the bra of lovely Nell
Brought to me by sunrise boys
Or the wager’s gone to hell
Toward the door we all were bid
Each man was mustard keen
John he rubbed his hands he did
His plan was yet unseen

Refrain

I quickly made for Craddock farm
Where I knew young Nell did sleep
So soon I came upon the barn
And so began to creep
The darkness swarmed around me
I couldn’t see ‘out all
Save a white and lacy garment
Residing by the stall

Refrain

I moved to towards the brassieres
And felt the clasp behind
When skin touched skin
Dizzying, I thought I lost my mind
Then suddenly the loudest moo
Ye’ll ever likely hear
did echo round the stable
and deafened my left ear

Refrain

Out sprang Nell from the haystack
And slapped me well and good
The brassiered cow was most perturbed
And bolted for the wood
I stood in shock aghast to know 
what a fool that I must look
When in walked Nelly’s father
With aloft his holy book

Refrain

So now I wander banished
From the town I called my own
The clergy all now hate me
Though I am not well known
You’ll see me in the towns and pubs
With a wench or drink in hand
And so I’ll end my tale right now
Go forth,strike up the band

Copyright © The Red Rain | Year Posted 2013

Details | Lyric |

Oh Man I'm Going Hunting

I got my camo, got my ammo, gun, hunting boots an beer, gonna scare me a few critters as I hunt me down some deer. As long as the music's loud they'll be running in full fear, boys now watch your sites and we'll have happy hunting here. Oh Man I'm Going Hunting, God I Love It Out There I Do! Oh Man I'm Going Hunting, now what do I got to loose? My knife is razor sharp so I can gut them right on through, and my phone is charged up for the pictures to prove it's true. But that tin foil service out here cuts my bars right down da two. Got all my hunting buddies with me so what do I got to prove? Oh Man I'm Going Hunting, God I Love It Out There I Do! Oh Man I'm Going Hunting, now what do I got to loose? Well the trucks packed up an I got me a big ole buck, three years down the line finely came across some luck. As long as this big ole' Chevy doesn't get me near to stuck, couple months down the line an I'll be shooting at some ducks. Oh Man I'm Going Hunting, God I Love It Out There I Do! Oh Man I'm Going Hunting, now what do I got to loose?
Contest: Lyrics- By Anne Currin Dan Kearley:7-10-13 ©

Copyright © Dan Kearley | Year Posted 2013

Details | Haiku |

Haikus About God: V

Omniscient guy
Yet he lets bad things happen
How can he exist?

Copyright © Dan Keir | Year Posted 2013

Details | Lyric |

Scat Skene

Raised above the cello ding ding ding                                                                                                 Reaching out to say hello song song song                                                                                           Stepping in the ring gong gong gong                                                                                                  Well that’s just all wrong ping ping ping                                                                                      Pauper’s know not his king pong pong pong                                                                                         The cloth was not cut swing swing swing

Copyright © John Beam | Year Posted 2017

Details | Lyric |

Fish in my Hair

Fish in my Hair


I have a fish in my hair
Now really who would say so as I sit in my chair?
You all looking with your weird funny stares
All because I got me a fish in my hair

Fish in my hair
Fish in my hair
Let’s go fishing
And fish for more fashion ware

I have a fish in my hair
I smell like trout with sauce so tasty and fair
I have to sit all pretty and quite lady like
The painters no fisherman, he cant catch a pike

Fish in my hair
Fish in my hair
Let’s go fishing
And fish for more fashion ware

They say I am pretty and adorable too
It all sounds so fishy, they say it too woo
They think I don’t smell the fish in my hair
Do they stare at my hair or the fish with such flair

Fish in my hair
Fish in my hair
Let’s go fishing
And fish for more fashion ware

I like to climb trees
I like to play in the mud
Not very lady like they say with blue blood
With a fish in my hair I can do as I please!

Fish in my hair
Fish in my hair
Let’s go fishing
And fish for more fashion ware

Copyright © arthur vaso | Year Posted 2016

Details | Rhyme |

PLAY-BOY 1

You know why I run game? It's 'cause I'm a player
I'm the night in shining armor, she's a dragon, I'm gon' slay her
That means when I beat it up, I'm gonna kill it
Tell her keep our business to herself, don't spill it
Can't follow directions, then it's on to the next
Hope you get the message, not talking 'bout a text

I sleep with more chicks than a night-gown

Without 'em I'm like a sentence with no noun

For those who don't know that means incomplete

It's a race to get 'em first, I gotta' compete

They wanna be on the team, tryin' to make the cut

True player, show no feelings, keep 'em in a shell, walnut

Females fill my atmosphere, they mean the world to me

I got damsels galore, it's always plural with me

Got gangs of chicks, which one should I bang

They're steady in my face, sort of like some bangs

Hate when they try to lock me down, I'm not in jail

She starts talking 'bout marriage, then I'm gonna bail

Sometimes I need my space, like a vacant lot

I hate being congested, like a nose filled with snot

Hey, stop bugging me, you startin' to act like a knat

Before you go, give me head, I need it like a hat

Copyright © Arcene Janvier | Year Posted 2013

Details | Lyric |

Please Help Me, Re-lyric

Please help me, I've fallen
In Lust with You.
You're just so damn sexy,
That's why I'm hittin' on you.
You don't have to love me,
Some good sex will do.
Please help me, I've fallen
In Lust with You.

Yes, you turned me on
When I saw you walk in...
The face of an Angel,
A body just made for Sin.
Now, I may be real horny,
But one thing is true:
What would satisfy me, Girl
Would be to satisfy You.

So please help me, I've fallen
In Lust with You; 
And I hope that you're fallin'
In Lust with me too;
But if not, then please fake it,
Please don't leave me "blue"...
Please help me, I've fallen
In  Lust  with  You.

Copyright © Robert Candler | Year Posted 2014

Details | Lyric |

I whispered lightly as a rose

I whispered lightly as a rose
To grease my oily bagpipe,
And sniffing with her hairy nose
A dwarf flew into sight.

‘Pull down your flabby chopsticks, man.’
She ordered like a waiter,
And lowering my name to Stan
Got on all fours to cater.

‘I am Dame Doris Chucklebum.’
She laughed but half an inch.
‘I like things that are rarely done.’
Then stroked me with a pinch.

‘Take back thy sweaty chollocks, love.’
I pleaded like a pro,
And with a hefty boxing glove
Took on the lady so.

It lasted less than half a tick,
Less if you counted slow.
And with a little knowing trick
Fled fleeing on the go.

‘Come back! Don’t go!’ she wept with ploy,
‘I’ll change like Whitney Whopper.’
Enjoying but a little joy
And playing with her chopper.

Copyright © Wayne Riley | Year Posted 2014

Details | Concrete |

DISTURBED CREATURE- Am I

A poem wrote by me, based on Person who is a deserving icon but still struggling hard with his career life and addressed as disturbed creature.

DISTURBED CREATURE--> Am I ??       BY Mrs.Madhavi Suyog Pagare

Am I so insane, Am I so mad,
Dramatic mood of mine is so die hard.
Destroyed my peace, Shattering my dreams,
People call me as disturbed creature.
As like mounting the pain, attenuating the drain!!

Digesting my feelings lying inside me,
Strangely nobody cared, call me sick.
Teasing me lavishly and my heart is pricked,
Hurted me like hell when addressed me as stupid.
As like showering rain, missing on the lane!!

Time lapse in journey of life,
Can hamper anybody on its path.
When I see innate reflex of mine,
I always use to brightly shine.
Though possessing every job attributes of mine,
I never thought the authorities will ditch and hamper my career line.
Falsely acting bloody swine, making my image as fade as wine.
As like affecting harmonious divine, my soul was, as is transparently pristine!!

Destroying me and testing my patience, Never wanna give up.
Transformed deviations, wanna rightly screw up.
I wanna raise up, I wanna shake up.
I wanna wake up, Tranquilize my mind.
Unzip the professional life compressed by the culprits.
Wanna explore myself, driving the motivated heights of journey.
Lastly waiting for the optimistic opportunity.
Cuffing the suspect ,I wanna rejoice by my pattern of life!! 

with Suyog Pagare

Copyright © Madhavi Sarjare pagare | Year Posted 2013