Limerick Religion Poems | Limerick Poems About Religion

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Details | Limerick |

Who let the Dogs Out

He went the way of a sickly pigeon,
and dropped his nasty load on religion.
The evil ones hailed him,
power they availed him,
which increased his vanity a smidgeon .

He declared himself the messiah,
From the depths of earthen hell fire,
The people believed him,
almighty pride seized him,
now he’s forcing God to retire.

You see there’s only room for one master,
to be God is what evil is after,
As enticing as it looks,
he and his cronies and crooks,
are setting the world up for disaster.

We Christians who always vote by rote,
keeping the Truths of our faith in a tote,
it’s we that keep evil in power,
We’ll know that in our last hour,
Right after we get thrown from the Boat.

Author's note:
    I read that in the last presidential election, 57% of Christians
voted for the present administration which is currently in the midst of 
of taking away their rights to conciencious objectionality and religious freedom
where the killing of babies ("abortion" for those of you who are still in la la land)
and the financial obligation for it is concerned. 
It is now desired by the present administration that Christians too pay for this 
murderous and horrific agenda.
To the 57% of Christians who voted for the current administration: you got your choice. 
Are congratulations in order?
-Robert A. Dufresne

Copyright © Robert A. Dufresne | Year Posted 2012

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The Hereafter

He asked his flock if they believed in the Hereafter

     Amen, pastor, they said amid much joy and laughter!

          Hereafter, when the plate is passed

               I expect it to be filled up fast

                    For some reason chapel attendance plunged thereafter

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved

Copyright © Robert L. Hinshaw | Year Posted 2011

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Love Thy Neighbor

Scripture asks us to love our neighbor.
But some think love comes without labor.
It's something we speak,
Not something we seek.
A fine cup of wine with no flavor.

Declarations of love make me laugh.
Without knowledge such words are just chaff.
You say I love you,
But that isn't true,
'Til you've traveled that ship, fore and aft.

A neighbor is a gem in a box,
Which is freely displayed without locks.
But when you decide
To not look inside,
Your love goes no deeper than the box.

It's the heart that defines who we are.
And you cannot love that from afar.
You have to dig in,
Look under the skin,
It takes patience to open that jar.

Any love less than this is a lie,
Just a superficial lullaby.
When you won't connect, 
It's sung for effect,
A performance arranged for the eye.

In God's kingdom, would this be your goal -
To have neighbors without heart or soul?
Should we love your grace,
Or only your face?
For a love without depth isn't whole.

If make believe love has sufficed,
Then your love is improperly priced.
Rewards one receives,
Show what he believes,
When such love has been offered to Christ.

For as you've loved the least of His flock,
Those empty faces there on your block,
That's how you love Him,
A name in a Hymn,
It's a church built on mud, not on rock.

So before He meets us at the gate,
Learn this lesson before it's too late.
Love's ultimate goal, 
To open the soul,
Is a truth that determines our fate.

Copyright © Mark Spencer | Year Posted 2015

Details | Limerick |


My bigotry festered and grew
then out of control it just blew
but I just couldn't see
since you're different from me
surely I must be different from you

(A kneejerk reaction poem about the man who abused then
tore the Hijaab off a Muslim woman on a local train , last weekend)

Copyright © Viv Wigley | Year Posted 2015

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     The pastor was feeling quite blue,
       Pennies on his plate were few,
       So he gave a blazing rendition
     On the church's tithing tradition
 And the pennies on his plate soon grew.

Copyright © john williams | Year Posted 2016

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The gun and god combo

"The peacemaker" is Glock's new gun
Its spent rounds are rapture and fun
Yes killing's a thrill
Since I'm mentally ill 
And need to own more than just one

A gun for me is like prozac
The bullets clipped pills in a stack
I'm not paranoid
But have weapons deployed
In case I should have an attack

Copyright © Duke Beaufort | Year Posted 2013

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Limerick crochetes: Our great uhr-Father from Africa

Limerick cochetés: Our great uhr-Father from Africa

Our great uhr-Father from Africa
Hallowed be Thy fame in high Valhalla
	The Asian walk-about
	Down backbone coccyx snout
Who didst Thou mate in Peninsula Malaya

To produce orangutan Malaysia
Did our great uhr-cousin Gorilla
	Chimpanzee when in doubt
	Precede Thy walk-about
Swinging from tree to tree to Australia

To judge by great life in Southeast Asia
Smoke-filled lungs from HAZE in Sumatra
	Death penalty for tout
	With drugs- Hell for khalwat*
Is there doubt who preceded whom from Africa

•	khalwat:  (a Muslim – all Malays - religious law) 
According to which, no Malay may marry a non-Muslim nor be found in close proximity giving rise to suspicion of promiscuousness, law enforceable by religious courts whose officials are empowered to spy on offenders and report their activities to the relevant authorities

© T. Wignesan – Paris,  2015

Copyright © T Wignesan | Year Posted 2015

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Another Time, Another Place

I'm for all people and their faith
It's for them and not others to deface
     They'll have their moment to preach
     On poetry sites the words teach
And leave for another time, another place

Copyright © James Fraser | Year Posted 2010

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Quick Cleric

There was a pastor named Caste
Whose habit of swearing was vast.
Some said his firing was near
But Caste cited nothing to fear
“You see, I repent too _____ fast.”

Copyright © Paul Schneiter | Year Posted 2015

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James was his church’s  bell ringer
Some would listen and linger.
To make the bell louder
James became stouter.
Now he’s known as a real humdinger.

Copyright © Paul Schneiter | Year Posted 2015

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Lose the Mask! Lose The Mask!

You might be beyond ever caring
what happens if you are still wearing
the face of a ghoul !
Do not be a fool
or St. Peter at you will be glaring.

Copyright © Gerard Keogh Jr. | Year Posted 2010

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A Romanian from Devon

I once had a friend called Michel
He was an immigrant, what the hell?
He flew here from Heaven
Our bread for to leaven...
Yeah,the Lord is a Romanian from Devon.

He blessed all the birds and the bees
But the Government he sure liked to tease.
You are too corrupt,
He cried as he supped.
So they slung him up here on' tween two  trees.

After he died we had storms
And fires and floods and alarms.
We never perceive
Rather, we deceive...
So by our fragmented fears we are torn.

Collect up my fragments,Oh Lord
Strike me not dead with thy sword.
Reglue me with care
as my faults I lay bare.
Add my soul to thy heavenly hoard

Copyright © Katherine Bee | Year Posted 2014

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When out for a walk yesterday I bumped into our local padre He wears rainbow dog collars Looks a million dollars He is proud to admit he is gay! 01~14~17 Fiction write which was Inspired by reading about a gay bishop in the UK

Copyright © JAN ALLISON | Year Posted 2017

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What Choice??

You insist that I only choose one
Finite human or god in the sun
Man has long pondered this
But as to my wish
I'll face death and have ALL the fun!!

Copyright © Jim David | Year Posted 2010

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God's Redemption

We saw in the garden the seed
Planted by man’s first evil deed
God sent his own son
To be the right one
To absorb sin so man be freed

© Jun 21 2010 for John’s “Human foible” contest

Copyright © Charles Henderson | Year Posted 2010

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Adam and Eve

There once was a man name Adam
With Eve whom he always called Madam
They encountered a snake
And made a mistake
The Devil smiled for he knew he had ‘em

Copyright © mike dailey | Year Posted 2012

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A Less Fictitious Life

There once was a gal most religious
Whose love for her god was prodigious
   She looked deep inside
   Found fallacies most wide
She now lives a life less fictitious

Copyright © Renee Kelly | Year Posted 2011

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Pew Phew

There was a bishop whose sermons were boring  
Seven hours long made members begin snoring.  
The bishop took offense
But he had no defense.
Busted bladders had warped all the flooring.

Copyright © Paul Schneiter | Year Posted 2016

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The Cowboy and Beelzebub

Off to the Church this Cowboy went For Sunday to him was Heaven sent But as he took to his pew Suddenly into their view Beelzebub, he, now present Imagine the screaming now starting To the exits they're simply departing But this Cowboy remains Against Beelzebub's deign Oh the odours of the leaving farting To the Cowboy, Beelzebub says In a broken down language display Are you frightened of me Am I stronger than thee Not really, who do you think you portray For Satan I am, but you never have fears No matter what I say, leaves you no tears So simply, what can it be That your not scared of thee I've been married to your sister for years .

Copyright © James Fraser | Year Posted 2014

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Limerick: Once a Meat-Vendor in Mylapur

Limerick: Once a Meat-Vendor in Mylapur

Once a Meat-Vendor in Mylapur*
Set up shop (O!) Brahmin virtue pure
No hungry customers
Knocked past the front shutters
Though brisk business raged at rear door.

•	Brahmin enclave in Chennai, Tamil-Nadu, India.
Brahmins were not vegetarians from antiquity.

© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2013

Copyright © T Wignesan | Year Posted 2013

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Starbucks Song

There once was a company that brewed coffee
With lovely flavors like raspberry and toffee
     One year they made clear
     To remove all reindeer
Christians cry "Where's Holly Hobby?!?"

Copyright © Renee Kelly | Year Posted 2015

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Flawless Crap-Flaws Forgiven

#1 Limerick

Flawless Crap

There once was a man that was perfect.
His actions were never incorrect.
That was his thought, for sure.
He knows now that’s manure.
As he looks at compost truck, he wrecked.

#2 couplets

Flaws Forgiven

Everyone makes mistakes, this we all know for sure.
There was only one perfect man, who was so pure.
Imperfections are truly human traits, simple and plain.
We all need to face this, so we all can truly gain.
That our shortcomings define us, as we all learn,
To teach us reality and justice, upon our return,
Errors and faults are to be forgiven from us all.
Listen within, or you know not what may befall.

Written for

Sponsor S K A T * 
Contest Name FLAWLESS vs' FLAWS  

Copyright © cecil hickman | Year Posted 2011

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The Creation Mystery

Creation is an unsolved mystery.
Men have pondered it throughout history.
Some say it is evolution.
What a logical solution!
But faith shows God is more than a banshee.

Copyright © Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen | Year Posted 2011

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The Hereafter

Asked if they believed in the Hereafter

     Amens echoed from every rafter

          The preacher rejoiced

               Then this plea he voiced

                    "Fill up the collection plate hereafter!"

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved

Copyright © Robert L. Hinshaw | Year Posted 2012

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Bishop's Anoyance

   The bishop said it was such a disgrace
That the minister's horse lacked much pace,
   He remonstrated it was a cardinal sin
    When you put the church's money in
  And it finishes last in a six furlong race.

Copyright © john williams | Year Posted 2016

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The Army Chaplain

Tooled up, the army chaplain
Is wielding the words of God
Straight in for the kill
With ‘The work of His will’
And ‘He came not with peace but the rod’

The sixth commandment is tricky
A most inconvenient law
For the turn of a cheek
On the battle field bleak
Is far from conducive to war

So, pity the army chaplain
And the conflict that rages within
As the ranks of the dead
Tramp a march through his head
And he murders his conscience with gin

by Gail

Copyright © Gail Foster | Year Posted 2016

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The Goddess Nut

There once was this goddess named Nut
Who was found in the tomb of King Tut
Her head was a cow
But her body was “WOW!”
And as goddesses go – she kicked butt

Her skin was the hue of the sky
Covered with stars floating by
Of her it was said
She protected the dead
She was one of the highest of high

But the statues of her were all hidden
And common folks looking – forbidden
Only priests got to peek
Incantations they’d speak
Wishing she could be bedridden

Mdailey	7/28/11
Placed 15th in contest

Copyright © mike dailey | Year Posted 2011

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Rapture of May 21st, 2011

"It is the end of the world", they cry
"Those not saved will surely die!"
   Never mind the fun fact
   Previous dates inexact
Get the marshmallows out for the fry!

Copyright © Renee Kelly | Year Posted 2011

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Secret Sin

God wants the church as a bride
To walk closer by His side
There's many at odds
All wearing facades
Yet, God knows what hearts may hide

Copyright © Virginia Mitchell | Year Posted 2010

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Vatican Incident - Limerick

     Vatican Incident - Limerick 

A young maiden dressed like a mannequin 
Snuck into the church at the Vatican
To curse at the pontiff 
So they called the sheriff  
She would not be invited back again 

Copyright © Earl Schumacker | Year Posted 2014