Limerick Baby Poems | Limerick Poems About Baby

These Limerick Baby poems are examples of Limerick poems about Baby. These are the best examples of Limerick Baby poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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OOPS - PLEASE JOIN IN THE COLLABORATION

Sue dated an old bloke called Darren He said surgery'd made him barren But one errant sperm Escaped from his ‘worm’ Now Sue’s had a baby named Sharon! 05~24~17 WRITTEN BY JAN ALLISON For his sins he surely will pay Strong little swimmer went astray There's tears in his eyes No nights with the guys And Susan turned out to be gay! 05~25~17 WRITTEN BY TIM SMITH Darren went to the doc to get snipped The doctor was drunk and he slipped He was seeing double And that spelled trouble Poor Darren got his wiener clipped. 05~24~17 WRITTEN BY JAMES ANDERSEN Darren wasn't really a talker; He spent all his time in a rocker. "But don't worry, Dear," He'd said without fear, Knowing that his sperm used a walker. 05~24~17 WRITTEN BY DALE GREGORY COZART Darren told Jane the same story She gave birth to a son named Rory He thinks he's slick he's really a prick And deserves his own category! 05~25~17 WRITTEN BY DANIEL TURNER Sue told Darren she was on the pill But she managed to get pregnant still It would have been better If he "wrote" a french letter Now they have a baby boy named Bill! 05~25~17 WRITTEN BY JOSEPH MAY Young Rick peed on a stick. The result made him feel sick. His emotions went wild. How could he be with child. Impregnated by his own seed. 05~25~17 WRITTEN BY RICHARD LAMOUREUX So Darren was over the hill Said Susie'd no need for the pill One old guy One old lie Easily told for the thrill! 05~25~17 WRITTEN BY LIM'RIK FLATS Jan that's not what I find I disagree if you don't mind Over sixty they droop When I take a look His number if you would be so kind? WRITTEN BY JEAN MURRAY Poor Darren developed a cough Sue put him to bed in a trough While discussing his manhood. Sue said, this is no good I'd feel safer if you had it off. WRITTEN BY JONATHAN FRENCH

Copyright © JAN ALLISON | Year Posted 2017



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Raccoon's Baby Sittin' Service




Mrs. Cat, I'm bringing back your kitten
I'm completely done with baby sittin'
She cried all day
Not worth the pay
And , so sorry, we couldn't find her mitten



For the "Tell Me About It " contest

Copyright © Barbara Gorelick | Year Posted 2011

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POOR WEE MAN

My unfortunate uncle named Rick Was endowed with a very small wick But he was still quite able To impregnate aunt Mable Who gave birth to a son they called Dick 2nd April 2017

Copyright © JAN ALLISON | Year Posted 2017



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NEW BABY

 
"NEW BABY" A NEW BUNDLE OF JOY JUST ARRIVED MOMMY AND DAD ARE BOTH BEAMING WITH PRIDE INSTEAD OF A PRINCESS, PINK, A LITTLE LAD SMILED WITH A WINK THINK THE ULTRASOUND MESSED UP AND LIED. RON AND I ARE SO HAPPY TO BE GRANDPARENTS AGAIN TO SPOIL WITH GLEE 7 POUNDS, 7 OUNCES 22 INCHES HE BOUNCES TIME TO EXCHANGE PINK THINGS FOR BLUE SHOPPING SPREE. * A GRAND DAY FOR OUR FAMILY SOUPERS. *PLEASE SHARE OUR HAPPY MOMENT WITH THIS NEW BABY BOY. *BORN 11:22 A.M. EST ON SAT., SEPT.22ND .. ERIC CHRISTIAN... *WE FEEL AND ARE SO BLESSED LUV ...

Copyright © Linda-Marie SweetHeart | Year Posted 2012

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My Baby Brother


______________________________                             



I cuddle with my little baby brother
so special he's like no other
a unique gift from above
a true endless love
"a bundle of pure joy" says mother


I'll protect him with my own soul
as along life's path we stroll
he need never feel fear
or in pain shed a tear
for in me he can always console


______________________________
Contest ~ "Brotherly Love"
Poet ~ Rick Parise
April 22, 2011


Copyright © Rick Parise | Year Posted 2011

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Prunes and other things

There once was a man who ate nothing but prunes
He was broke and howled at the moon
He was desperate for work
And got some soon
Blowing up air ballons.


There was a man from pakistan
Who owned an old ice cream van
But the ice cream melted in the sun
Poor man
And now he sells burgers in a bun.


There was an elephant called peek a boo
Who escaped from a zoo
It didn't take long to trace him
Just am hour or two
They just followed a trail of giant poo.


There was a hedgehog who married a frog
They tried to mate but it hurt too much and fell of the log
So the hedgehog took off his pricly coat
And now they have seven little hedgefrogs
That live on a boat.

There was a bear who loved Fred Astaire
Who danced here and danced there
He stole clothes from a washing line
He looked a treat in ladies pink panties and tutu
Hey bear give them back there mine!.

Peter Dome. copyright.2014. Sept.

Copyright © Peter Dome | Year Posted 2014

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CALL THE MIDWIFE

The vicar surveyed her wide girth Was scared that in church she’d give birth He raised his eyebrows Then rushed through their vows As he wasn’t adept at childbirth! Inspired by the poem ‘Decision Needed’ by Maurice Rigoler Jan Allison 13TH April 2016

Copyright © JAN ALLISON | Year Posted 2016

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A White Pumpkin Family Review

Cotton Candy is a pumpkin who
Is known as White Pepo too.
Her nice rounded shell
She keeps very well,
And one day she met Baby Boo.

Baby Boo is quite small, and at night
He might glow, an albino pure white.
He is both good looking
And good at cooking!
He and white Pepo make a rare sight.

Cotton Candy (White Pepo) and he
Got together, and baby made three.
With skin color cream,
The baby’s a dream
And he’s part of the Ghost family.

Like his Mom, maybe better, is he.
Ghost can keep for a long time and be
Just like his Dad too.
Like that small Baby Boo,
In the oven he can bake sweetly.

Another White pumpkin, meanwhile,
In Carol’s patch sat on a pile.
Smooth, round and pure white,
An adorable sight,
Is this pumpkin with decorative style.

Other pumpkins can read this and weep
For Halloween has a new peep!
For MINE, cute and small,
Has the name of Snowball
And clear up to Christmas can keep!

For Carol Brown's 
"What No Orange Pumpkin" Poetry Contest

Copyright © Andrea Dietrich | Year Posted 2011

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New Life

Hiding in mummy's tummy, kicking happily away
 I'm kissing you warmly, clapping and singing in play
 They say in a few weeks
 I'll be able to kiss  your new cheeks
 I can't wait for the morning I'll lift you in a sway

(c) Nyonglema

Copyright © Nyonglema Pisoh | Year Posted 2014

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FLOOD WARNING

A gravid young lady named Prue Was bursting to go to the loo She crossed her legs tight With all of her might It’s what pregnant ladies go through! 21st June 2016

Copyright © JAN ALLISON | Year Posted 2016

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Bend Over Baby

Got referred to a female Urologist
After which I needed a Psychologist
"I'm a licensed physician
Now resume your position!"
Next appointment? Her sister Proctologist

Copyright © Tim Ryerson | Year Posted 2012

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The only girl

Hey Son, I wrote this to warn you
In your whole life, many girls are coming through 
You might have only girl to love her much over
But you have to remember that do not hurt your mother
She is my only girl too...

Copyright © Panya Chanthavong | Year Posted 2016

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LIAR AND HILLARY - NOT FOR CONTEST

‘Damn Liar’! said Hillary to Bill You told me ‘that girl’ was on the pill Now she’s got a tum As big as they come You're the daddy, now ain’t that a thrill! 22nd May 2015

Copyright © JAN ALLISON | Year Posted 2015

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Baby Gaga of Verse

Since the time I was wearing a bib,
I was wise to the guys. That’s no fib!
“Hey, Baby,” I’d say,
“Come on over and play.
You just meet me tonight in my crib!”

And while most kids were learning to poo,
I was thinking up poems by age two.
I could coo a sweet verse
With no need to rehearse
Saying things like, “I’m gaga for you.”

I was writing my lines by age three
And creating sublime poetry.
First boys and then men
I caught with my pen.
LADY Gaga of verse now: that’s me!

For Susan Burch's
Ridiculous Self Exaggerations Poetry Contest

And now for PD's anything Goes!!!



Copyright © Andrea Dietrich | Year Posted 2012

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Why There's No Baby Planes

On a flight to Auckland one day A mother over hearing her son say Cats and Dogs can have babies Can planes do that maybe Ask the attendant, see what she says So off to the attendant he asks Is it possible that planes do this task Did your mother tell you To ask me if it's true Tell her to tell and not mask As the little boy was walking away Following him the attendant did say No baby planes you will find Qantas pulls out on time Ask mum to explain this today . Written about a Joke I heard ;-)

Copyright © James Fraser | Year Posted 2014

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IT'S A BIT OF A COCK UP

A promiscuous lady named Jill Thought it prudent to go on the pill She saw her G.P He said ‘oh dear me’ - You should have used a condom with Will! Jill politely asked him what he meant Contraception was her real intent The pill’s too late I fear For you’re pregnant my dear - It looks like it’s an unplanned event 21ST April 2016

Copyright © JAN ALLISON | Year Posted 2016

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Little baby

Little baby dont cry you will be sung a lullaby 
little baby dont worry forever in my dreams i hold you 
little baby dont be afraid for the angels will lead the way 
little baby dont be shy for together you will reach the sky 
little baby just be calm for they will never harm 
little baby sleep peacefully for you will always have my heart 
little baby the angels will protect you 
little baby i will never forget you...

Copyright © kerry singleton | Year Posted 2012

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Baby on a Plane

A baby that screams on a plane,
Whether tired, unfed or in pain,
     Must be calmed at all costs
     For when patience exhausts
All the passengers will go insane.

Copyright © ilene bauer | Year Posted 2015

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DON'T MAKE A PIG MAD

Whatever You Do In Your Life Time.... Through Good Times And Through Bad..... Whatever You Do to Hogs And Sows.... Don't Ever Make A Pig Mad! A Pig Can Be So Nice..... A Pig Can Be So Sweet..... But....God Forbid.....IF THEY'RE TOO BIG....! They Will Run You OFF Of The Street! And IF You See A PIGLET.... DON'T YOU DARE PICK IT UP! Oh.......Here Comes MAMA SQUEALING.....! About to Bite Your BUTT! Now....That You've Heard My Advice........ And......PLEASE Think More Than Thrice...! Oh..........PLEASE DON'T EVER FORGET TO FEED THE PIG.........! Or Else.....Your Home Will Look More Than A Mess So Big........... And If You Do......They'll Be So Glad! DON'T EVER MAKE A PIG MAD!

Copyright © Rita Secrease | Year Posted 2016

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BABY LETS BUILD TOGETHER

w can if we stand
be  a wall
that don't fall
nuthin you and i can't do
we love each other too
so let go on forever
BABY LETS BUILD TO GETHER

Copyright © kurtis scott aka curtis futch jr | Year Posted 2013

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Affronted

CEO Andrew Sykes took a social crash dive
he asked a clerk when her baby would arrive.
"I'm not pregnant!" she exclaimed
her face was red and inflamed.
'Tis a miracle he fled her presence alive.

Copyright © Paul Schneiter | Year Posted 2016

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Messy Baby

Youngin Greg found an egg
Struck it with his mummy's peg,
Only taking one baby stroke
Out came the gooey yolk
Running down his leg.

Copyright © john williams | Year Posted 2015

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Limerick: Once a Baby found in a bucket

Limerick : Once a Baby found in a bucket

Once a Baby found in a bucket
Grew up to be tough as a biscuit
She took a desert trip
Sahara took a flip
(Some people take her/me for a nitwit)
That’s why biscuits taste sandy when bit.

© T. Wignesan – Paris,  2013

Copyright © T Wignesan | Year Posted 2013

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My baby dreams.

There once was a dream in my sleep
I was out in the fields with my sheep
I wanted to pee
Let it out with glee
I woke up with in a puddle in my keep.

Copyright © Nitesh Aggarwal | Year Posted 2007

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Mother-To-Be

Mother-To-Be
Dr. James E. Martin
©May, 2013

A mother-to-be was she.
She was happy as she could be.
A new baby boy,
Would bring her much joy,
If only she weren’t seventy three.

Copyright © DrJim Martin | Year Posted 2013

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Baby Dill

If I had a shiny new nickel
I'd buy me another dill pickle
My wife thinks she knocked me up
Made me go pee in a cup
But pickle juice came out in a trickle

Copyright © Larry Belt | Year Posted 2010

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Baby Harry

In his cage in a rage- Baby Harry
and those visit his realm best be wary.
A smart cockatoo
who screams out: " #*@# you!"
What his master might say could be scary.


My Theme is : Birds singing.
But I hope that birds talking is okay.
However, as I write this,
Baby Harry is talking, but not in a socially acceptable way...

Copyright © Gerard Keogh Jr. | Year Posted 2010

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Bye bye, Baby

As this poem was being written,
A small boy appeared to be smitten.
He loved his baby brother,
But then he asked his mother,
‘Please can we swap him for a kitten?’

Brotherly Love
Jack Horne
24th April 2011

Copyright © jack horne | Year Posted 2011

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Maybe Baby

series 5/5/3/3/5 Limerick

On precept Palin
Concepts are wailing
     Concepts spoofs 
     Love is truth 
Corporate failing

Amidst the wailing
Her ship keeps sailing
     Precept’s truths
     She’s no goof
Beliefs are sailing

Her precept is right
May need to try it
     Now maybe
     Sweet Baby
She abodes in light!!

At least she confesses tunnel’s light!!

Copyright © john freeman | Year Posted 2011

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Valentine Baby



I wait for my Valentine baby

He said he would come here to save me

Just give me some bling

Not any old thing

My answer could well be a maybe!

Copyright © Sharon Ruebel | Year Posted 2011