Heaven Humorous Poems

These Heaven Humorous poems are examples of Heaven poems about Humorous. These are the best examples of Heaven Humorous poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Rhyme |
Heavenly bliss

Shawn and Shauna fell deeply in love
And were on their way to be wed
When a car, on that day, took their lives straight away
As both of their bodies, lie dead

But their spirits were both drawn to heaven
As they stood, in front of the gates
Saint Peter was there, at the top of the stairs
When Shawn hollered loudly  “Just Wait"

Now Peter looked puzzled, at Shawn
And said "This is no time to tarry "
Shawn spoke again, and refused to go in
Without being properly married

Saint Peter replied very softly 
"We don't do that kind of thing here
But if you're willing to wait, 
“I’ll see if I can, get it cleared”

Three months went by, while they waited
Saint Peter, show up with a Priest
"I know it was slow, But I want you to know
You’ll be married Forever at least"

As the wedding was getting started
Shawn asked a question, with doubt
What happens here in heaven  
“If this marriage just doesn’t work out”

A silent filled up the heavens
Saint Peter, was shaking his head
And once he regained his composure
This is what Saint Peter said
“It took Three Months to find a Priest
In this Heavenly Foyer
How long do you think, I’ll take for me
Up here, to find you a Lawyer ?”

Copyright © Jerry T Curtis | Year Posted 2014

Details | Rhyme |
How I Got Richer and What I Did Next

I struck a sly deal with some Wall Street investors.
I shorted 'em stocks that didn't exist!
But they got me back (those post-empty-nesters)
by making fake deals I couldn't resist.

So I made a bold plan. I'd get big and still bigger.
My dream was immense: I'd conquer the market!
How would I do it? I'll bet you can't fig'ure.
I'll whisper my plan. (Shhh! I won't bark it.)

What I make is no secret. My dream is the thing.
My stuff the world uses. It can't do without.
My competitors fear (while secretly hoping)
I'll become a cartel and buy them all out!

So here's what I make (a simple thing really).
You use it at dinner, at breakfast and lunch,
when it's hot and it's steamy or cold and it's chilly.
Donuts to dollars you must have a hunch.

It fixes most things, an all-purpose tool.
It will open a can, pull the cork from a bottle,
even fix all your plumbing (now isn't that cool?).
Under the hood it'll fix your car's throttle.

I know that you're anxious. I know you can't wait.
I'm making the point. Sit still and don't fidget!
Now no more pondering and staying up late:
I make what you use: the Gadget and Widget!

Making millions and billions takes plenty of people.
My company grew, got huge and kept growing.
A company needs growth. A church needs a steeple.
You see how it works? I just kept on going.

I hired by hundreds and thousands and more.
I worked 'em like slaves, paid dimes even less.
They threatened to strike, even steal the store
but I had the power! I could hardly care less.

I'd fire 'em in masses, by hundreds and dozens.
I gave them no notice, I paid them no pension.
I fired them all, brothers sisters and cousins.
I paid off the media; they gave me no mention.

But shedding the people only solved half the puzzle.
I still needed gadgets! Work had to get done.
Just how could I do it? I put hands on my muzzle.
No output, no profit. So how could I run?

At midnight one day I awoke with a start
My plan was so clear, so cool and so cunning.
I'd go overseas! My plan was quite smart.
I knew with assurance I'd keep right on running.

I worked day and night 'til after sunset.
I worked without stop. I even skipped meals.
I outsourced production and then flew by jet
to scour the globe for even more deals.

Gov'nments with greed – those were our game.
Why, you might ask, do business with these?
The answer is simple: except for the name
they've two things in common: the gov'ment takes fees

And labor's dirt cheap (it costs odds and ends).
The less I pay out the more left for me!
It works like a scale: when their side descends
my side goes up. It's logic, you see.

My scheme soon paid off. I spanned the whole globe.
I owned my competitors by tens and by scores.
To find where I wasn't you'd dig and you'd probe:
just gadgets and widgets in millions of stores!

A few years of this 'bout did me in.
I crawled to my bed and I slept a deep sleep.
I dreamed a strange dream of goodness and sin.
I chatted with God about what I could keep.

He said in the end it was all up to me
but my state of affairs just didn't look good.
Pearly Gates entry he couldn't quite see.
Suddenly in front of St. Peter I stood.

We discussed and we bargained, tried to see eye to eye.
Well most of that's true. He discussed and I bargained.
(I knew I would lose but I still had to try.
I thought that maybe he could just be out-jargoned!)

But this wasn't happening! It was just a dream.
No need to worry. My life wouldn't change.
(Dreams being dreams things aren't what they seem.
Abandon my business? I couldn't. Too strange.)

St. Peter spoke more. He had some suggestions.
“Do something useful. Help orphans and widows.
People have needs. Look ' round. Ask some questions.
And ask your friend Sid. I'm sure that Sid knows.

And oh by the way, those countries you mention?
At least say you're sorry. It surely can't hurt.
Don't make a big show. Avoid causing tension.
Just say it with meaning. Try not to be curt.”

I blinked, rubbed my eyes, then blinked a bit more.
I stretched and remembered I had to call Sid!
Now what was his number? I had it before.
Just have to remember where I had it hid.

I looked in my book. No Sid in there.
I started to wonder: did I even know Sid?
Did I sleep? Am I up? I'll pull out a hair.
Ouch! I'm awake! So I never did!

I recalled Pearly Gates. I remembered a dream
and trying to bargain at the Gates with St. Pete.
That stayed in my head (strange it may seem).
We'd discussed and debated.  St. Pete's hard to beat!)

I'll allow he's a point. I won't pick a nit.
I've mostly been right (just a little bit wrong).
Ok, ok maybe more than a bit.
If I set things to rights, we could get along.

But St. Pete asks a lot. (This really does sting.)
If stuff needs some doing ... I might maybe could.
Now give me a moment to ponder this thing.
If I knew what to do, I'm sure that I would.

(He went to his office. He sat and he thought.
He called for his staff. But they'd left, the whole bunch.
So he made a few plans with ideas he'd caught
then got so excited he even missed lunch!

All the people he'd fired? He hired them back.
He said he was sorry. He tripled their pay.
He asked them their names. He said, “Call me Mack!”.
The sun rose much brighter the very next day.

He did all he promised, or so we are told.
He did what he said. He even did more!
He began to think friendships were worth more than gold.
He laughed right out loud – hadn't done that before!

He perked up his ears, St. Peter did.
When he heard that guffaw, that belly-roll laugh.
His laughter was joyous, like it came from a kid
St. Peter stood up, took hold of this staff.

I think he's found what he used to lack.
He's learned the difference twixt evil and sin.
When he gets here one day I'll shake his hand, pat his back.
I'll open the Gates and welcome him in.

Copyright © John Mudge | Year Posted 2016

Details | Haiku |
Beauty of nature
Why condense it down to God?
Isn’t life enough?

Copyright © Dan Keir | Year Posted 2013

Details | Haiku |
Omniscient guy
Yet he lets bad things happen
How can he exist?

Copyright © Dan Keir | Year Posted 2013

Details | Free verse |
I am getting hungry y’all.
I have no food in the house.
I wonder why I have to order out.
Laugh out Loud

I am getting hungry you all.
I have to order out.
I have no food in my house.

I am hungry y’all.
I have ordered out.
Still no food in my house
Don’t you dare laugh out.
Penned on May 01, 2014!

Copyright © Verlena S. Walker | Year Posted 2014

Details | Rhyme |
My father-in-law, Frank was a man that loved to shop,	
We were two peas in a pod, we shopped til we dropped.
One spring day we decided to shop out of town,
We shopped best without my husband around.

We left my husband happily on his tractor on our land,
Then set off for a shopping day oh so grand!
The sun was shining, and we had Sinatra for the ride.
We couldn’t have picked a better day if we had tried!

We had lunch and then shopped in all the stores,
Happy we weren’t at home stuck doing the chores.
We started to get tired and decided to leave.
Then walked outside to a sight we couldn’t believe.

It was a mini tornado and not a soul to be found,
But the strangest thing was the money blowing around.
Money was falling from the sky, and our hands and feet were flying.
It was like a dream… catching the money was intensely gratifying.

We informed the store about the cash from above,
Then counted the money in the car we were so undeserving of.
A man knocked on the window when we were counting the dough,
It was about seventy-five bucks the wind fortuitously bestowed.

The man said to Frank,  “ Oh sir you forgot one,” and handed him a five.
 Frank took the five, said “God bless you,”…and I wanted to hide.
Later my husband scolded, “You should have given him the five, it wasn’t yours to keep!”
Frank replied, “What the hell, it wasn’t his either, God dropped it at my feet!”

Copyright © Brenda McGrath | Year Posted 2016

Details | Limerick |
‘t was on a rainy day in Camelot
A knight saw a maid he liked a lot
Before he paid heed
He remembered, indeed
Husbands are in heaven whose wives scold not

The maid, it seemed, had almost forgot
The words of her mother, whose name was Dot
For marital bliss
Remember just this 
Husbands are in heaven whose wives scold not

The knight with the maid was quite besot
And after a time they tied the knot
She never did scold
He did not grow old
Husbands are in heaven whose wives scold not

The end of this tale may surprise a lot
Because heaven is not the place he got
 Words one day you may recall
Some, but certainly not all
Husbands are in heaven whose wives scold not

Copyright © Huberta van Akkeren | Year Posted 2014

Details | Concrete |
A poem wrote by me, based on Person who is a deserving icon but still struggling hard with his career life and addressed as disturbed creature.

DISTURBED CREATURE--> Am I ??       BY Mrs.Madhavi Suyog Pagare

Am I so insane, Am I so mad,
Dramatic mood of mine is so die hard.
Destroyed my peace, Shattering my dreams,
People call me as disturbed creature.
As like mounting the pain, attenuating the drain!!

Digesting my feelings lying inside me,
Strangely nobody cared, call me sick.
Teasing me lavishly and my heart is pricked,
Hurted me like hell when addressed me as stupid.
As like showering rain, missing on the lane!!

Time lapse in journey of life,
Can hamper anybody on its path.
When I see innate reflex of mine,
I always use to brightly shine.
Though possessing every job attributes of mine,
I never thought the authorities will ditch and hamper my career line.
Falsely acting bloody swine, making my image as fade as wine.
As like affecting harmonious divine, my soul was, as is transparently pristine!!

Destroying me and testing my patience, Never wanna give up.
Transformed deviations, wanna rightly screw up.
I wanna raise up, I wanna shake up.
I wanna wake up, Tranquilize my mind.
Unzip the professional life compressed by the culprits.
Wanna explore myself, driving the motivated heights of journey.
Lastly waiting for the optimistic opportunity.
Cuffing the suspect ,I wanna rejoice by my pattern of life!! 

with Suyog Pagare

Copyright © Madhavi Sarjare pagare | Year Posted 2013

Details | Rhyme |
When you're hurt inside,
And there's no where to hide,
And there's no one on your side,
And it's killing your pride,
Never take hate outside,

When your heart is chocking,
The heavy words never spoken,
The things that hurt you inside,
When love has died,
Never take hate outside,

When your heart is gone,
From being alone,
And it beats a solemn tone,

When you're cold inside,
It's only a short ride,
Never take hate outside

Copyright © Anthony Scandrick II | Year Posted 2013

Details | Rhyme |
When I see a penny twinkle at me in the street,
It says, "Pick me up," down at my feet.
I slip it in my pocket and off I go,
With the good luck penny I could not forego.

It makes no difference if they are shiny, dirty, or black,
If I find a penny, I can’t turn my back.
They go home with me to my glass change jar,
And I save them to spend on a vacation afar.

Recently I went for a walk and found pennies galore.
There was a trail of pennies for 50 feet or more!
It was pennies, pennies, pennies- surely this was a sign…
That they had dropped from heaven, and I was on cloud nine!

Contest 206 Any Form, Any Topic, Max 12 Lines
Sponsor: Brian Strand
Awarded 9th Place

Copyright © Brenda McGrath | Year Posted 2016

Details | Rhyme |
Pancakes come from heaven above,
One bite and it is culinary love!
Calories don’t count, you can eat your fill!
The Pancake world surely beats the grill!

Copyright © Brenda McGrath | Year Posted 2016

Details | Free verse |
Cookies -
Why can’t I have the chocolate one
I want more
She took my cookie
Hers is bigger than mine
I want to trade
That’s not fair

Cookies +
Thank you for the cookie
I love you
Thanks for all you do for me
I am satisfied
This is good
I am loved
Written By  Deborah Finneran :)  2013

Copyright © Deborah Finneran | Year Posted 2013

Details | Rhyme |
They planted Hank 'neath a lonesome pine when he came to the end of the trail.
Angels ushered him to the Great Beyond and through that Mysterious Veil.
Saint Peter greeted him, sayin', "I've been a-hankerin' to meet ya, mate!"
Hank noted a sign readin' 'COWBOY SPOKEN HERE' atop the pearly gate!
"I want ya to meet a posse of pards that've been awaitin' yer arrival Hank;
There's Zeke and Tex, Fred and Jack, Moe and Slade and Jed and Frank."
"Ain't no bacon er beans here" said they, "On the choicest grub we dine!
If'n ya hanker to wet yer gullet, there's a Feller who'll turn water into wine!
And then appeared his faithful hoss Old Dan a-sportin' golden shoes!
Old Dan neighed as Hank caressed his pal and they had a genial schmooze!
On Old Dan's back embellished with silver and gold was a western saddle.
Right then and there Hank mounted Old Dan and off they did skedaddle!
As the Lord promised in the Good Book, a bunkhouse was part of the deal.
He dwelt in a room fit for a King with TV and DVD, seeming so surreal!
Hank wore a cowboy suit adorned with diamonds, rubies and jade,
Plus pointy-toed Calvin Klein cowboy boots and a vest of finest suede!
Lastly, Saint Peter placed upon his brow a bejeweled ten-gallon crown,
Sayin', "Welcome to the ranch, pard! Ye've rode the range with great renown!"

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired

Copyright © Robert L. Hinshaw | Year Posted 2016

Details | Rhyme |
Standing all alone, at the edge of time. With no where left to fall, and no where else to climb. I feel like I'm standing back at the end of the line. Of that soul collecting train that I missed the very first time. It don't matter much to me you see, I'm just going to stand right here and wait. For that golden train to pull in, that's taken me to the pearly gates. When that train pulls out your going to hear me yell. As I'm leaving this here place that is now a man made hell. Where all the politics and corruption, of this once great and mighty place. Turned into need and greed that just fills me with disgrace. Now I am far from perfect, God knows that is true. But, I'm praying for forgiveness, and I suggest, that you do too. So when that train pulls in to take us from this man made hell. Grab the seat right next to me and we can both then yell! YEEEEEEEEE HAAAAAAA!!!
Dan Kearley: 3-24-16

Copyright © Dan Kearley | Year Posted 2016

Details | Rhyme |
I will try to be a good man
And do good deeds as long as I'm livin'
I will try to behave as I can
Shall I eventually go to heaven
For I hear there you can ask God for....
Anything you want, whatever it may be
I'll try to be good shall I go to heaven
So I can ask him to make you love me!

Copyright © Mohamed Adel | Year Posted 2015

Details | Limerick |
If I am in Luck, Heaven is near Showered and waxed,good atmosphere Dressed to kill or should say thrill His libido has gone downhill Viagra worked, gave a thankful cheer
Penned May 21 2015

Copyright © Seren Roberts | Year Posted 2015

Details | Rhyme |
Poor Clem was hanging off the shed rafters,
His angry outback wife strutting underneath,
" You've gotta come down some time Clem,"
Said angry Etta through grinding teeth.

"I've never heard of anything so despicable,"
Poor Clem was hanging on in dreaded fear,
"You think you know a man so well,
Then he goes and takes your beer."

Copyright © john williams | Year Posted 2015

Details | Rhyme |
Longing for a Lunker

When I was but a lad
Butch and I would fish.
In any stream or river
To catch a “lunker” was our wish.

As we reached our teens
Our angling skills we honed.
But still our quest eluded us
We bought our big fish boned.

When we were at the river’s edge
Small shop’s, the bank would line
For they knew where the lunkers lived
Caught and smoked them up just fine

But alas, graduation came and went
We parted ways to never meet.
Butch taught biology to kids
We both found wives so sweet. 

I only hear from him at Christmas
And oft a card without a note.
I wonder as the years went by
If he ever over- filled his boat.

I’m probably too feeble now
To land a lunker if one would bite.
But I still hold onto my dream
Of that exhausting, fun-filled fight. 

Do you have something?
That lingering wish.
To run a marathon race
Or bake someone their favorite dish.

Don’t give up that dream
Wish on my aging friend
It may eventually happen
During our time at Heaven’s end. 

For that may be what heaven is
A time of praise & worship of our King
But also time then set-aside
To pet our dogs and for other things. 

Written by oldbuck, May 10, 2016 as he thought about days gone by and opportunities missed. 

Copyright © Old buck | Year Posted 2016

Details | Couplet |
If some fruit is forbidden in Eden,
Eden soon also will be forbidden.

Volodymyr Knyr

Copyright © Volodymyr Knyr | Year Posted 2014

Details | Tanka |
Many of time have
I sat upon earthy ground,
amongst Huckle Berry patches
gorging in Huckle Berry heaven
with glutton lips painted purple.

Copyright © Anthony O. Mitchell Jr. | Year Posted 2013

Details | Free verse |
Said the devil,
Don't worry with that God side
too many rules. 
Don't do this,
don't do that.
You can't eat this,
you can't eat that,
Steal and you go to jail.
Cheaters well you're definitely in trouble.
you're going  into the hell fiya.
Well look here,
don't worry about all that stuff.
Down here,
we have bars with the hottest drinks you can think of.
I mean booze so plentiful you'll be walking on fire.
Tanning salons, oh-wee  real hot,
you can fry yourself down here, get all sorts of color.
Brothels to feast your eyes and choose.
I mean what more can you ask for?
Just come join me.
any regrets well fix you up with something even hotter.
© Al. Juman  The "said" Poet  1/20/1985
[Skat-I cant ask anyone to edit or I get in trouble so do tell me should I need grammatical changes -Thanks]

Copyright © Al Juman | Year Posted 2016

Details | I do not know? |
Setting: a cafe, chamonix, in hand a tea.
Across- a woman, seated, not seeing me.

Embarrassed I am,
that I, a questionable I, 
like a lamb: 97 and 1 kilogram,
am engulfed by her,
like Noah by heavanly mer.

Can I help it?- No!
That this Helen
this doe 
or maybe Annabel of Poe
has transfixed me so

For she, unbeknowest to anyone but me,
has -- like a jockey to horse--
narrowed my vision, my every decision.

My goals, my independent roles,
are all now but foes
to that of this woman,
to that of this Syren;
A homeric vision calling my name,
my thoughts [set completely in frame].

For she is Femme French,
whose lip, whose tongue, whose
unequaled gaze,
melts hearts, muffles minds, and
spirits sets a daze;

She is a picture Romaine-
a poetic refrain-
a Cloud Loraine- 
Tout l'univers(se), turning perverse-
all those once sane.

And when you, pardon- she
speaks; «please, more tea»
she, unknowingly, speaks to me,
wow, she trully speaks to me. 

Votre langue francais,
what can I say.
We in the west, at our best
butcher and hack at our speach,
yet you- lyrically spue- a harmonious
a ventricular breech....

Our « (c)(h)(o)(c)(o)(l)(a)(t)(e), »
americanized, anglasized,
Is not as sweet as your---
« chocolat »--- taste that
tis better, the way you pronounce every letter
as in decrouver, or illuminer.

To think, that this, your verbal kiss, 
turns me so amiss.

But lets ((focus))- back to the Now,
sitting in chair, starring at her hair-
tied back, pulled back, let's get abstract:
lips parted, bangs parted.
Her cheeks lifted- my heart uplifted.
Facial confusion!
Her eyes whisper, « mister, »
maybe sinister?
Who knows, maybeee... the nose!
Striking a pose-
Running, twitching, creating true woes-
in a heart that weeps, reeps, but rarely sows.

Now you can see what she does to me.
my mind is adrift, but who cares- What a Gift!
To be lost in her presence- a humble
peasant- in the present is a present.

So- I'm sitting in a chair,
staring, glaring, intimately at her,
seeking, searching, for our eyes to
meet, to greet, in lustful heat,
for her to return my gaze
and to be lost in that haze till the
end of my days....

But wait....    What is this.      
Something is amiss.
A realization, a boner?
OH GOD....
I have a boner...
shit. I'm just another creepy loner. 

Copyright © Victor Skrzypczynski | Year Posted 2013

Details | Rhyme |
Thoughts keeps rushing through my head
I wonder what it’s like when you are dead
Do you still ‘wake up’ every morning
Or is being dead just really boring?

I wonder what it’s like in heaven
Do they have a tea break at eleven
And sit and chat about their day
Get on with jobs, moan about pay

Is heaven just like paradise
I hope it is, it would be so nice
To be somewhere without a care in the world
Get pampered and even get my hair curled

In this life I just hate to be late
But I have no wish to rush to heaven’s gate
If I make an error I hope god is forgiving
Because I want to remain in the land of the living

The thought of dying is not fun
I don’t want to be alone, away from everyone
Life is all too short for some I fear 
So cherish those you hold so dear

I found out today that this poem is to be published in a book called 'Faith and Hope' by United Press ltd. They want to change the title to 'Thoughts' but this actually takes away the fact 'dead boring' is a play on words so I have asked the original title is maintained. Jan Allison 3rd March 2014

Copyright © JAN ALLISON | Year Posted 2014

Details | Burlesque |
Merry Xmas to ALL !

Tuut-tuut All 'board
Hades (Heav'n) train leaves at mid of night
Tuut-tuut All 'board
Death comes at eve of ning, Dear Lord
Make haste and pack in Day of Light
Lest ye be left behind What a plight
Tuut-tuut All 'board

(c) T. Wignesan - Paris, 2012

Copyright © T Wignesan | Year Posted 2012

Details | Rhyme |
McGee was late again
It seemed like his, 'Whole' life
"I promise, to be on time"
He said to his new wife

The city, was so crowded
And at such a hectic pace
He drove around the block
But there was no parking space

So he glimpsed up to the heavens
Begging help, from God on high
And that he'd give up drinking
Go to Mass and never lie

If God would grant a parking space
So he could park his car
McGee would give up all his vice
And be a better man by far

Then , just then, there appeared 
An empty parking space
It popped up out of nowhere
Before McGee's own face

McGee glanced at the heavens
And said "Thank You Lord Your Grace
But it's Ok,  Forget it
I've just I found me-self a space"

Copyright © Jerry T Curtis | Year Posted 2014

Details | Verse |
Upon a ridge I saw the riders coming hard
They were mostly out of towners
But i knew they would go far

They only rested for a moment 
High up on that ledge
Beheld a setting majesty
As only could compare

The ranch lit up the shadows long
The riders all so tall
A scorching ball of fizzling light
Descending on the plain

Ma got on and showed them all
There’s really nothing to it
The lieutenant in his glory
It was not this way at all

Their lovely brat so proudly sat
Upon that prancing steed
You think she’d been there all along
A natural indeed

The food was fine and the people great
The company superb
As ever at the greatest place
Historic Reesor Ranch


Copyright © Mike Martin | Year Posted 2015

Details | Quatrain |

In the seven years since I officially retired Have had trouble keeping my old brain active A major activity that's filled the void Is P-Soup which has kept my brain captive Owe my well being to this wonderful site Anxiously checking my inbox To see who's sent me these glowing responses Check it before donning my socks Addicted, I'd have to say that's true But life would be quite boring without it You people boost my ego every day Might survive but I really kinda doubt it So on my tombstone they'll probably inscribe He died in an extremely poetic way His last words rhymed as they closed the casket “That's all I have to say today” © Jack Ellison 2014

Copyright © Jack Ellison | Year Posted 2014

Details | Couplet |
To Heaven With Me

With my poems will set entire world on fire
Which is my destined desire that will not expire
Even though in some straights now so dire
Or geared up gas prices go higher and higher.

After gathering in one more mere glance
Was wondering if there could be a chance
Even though horrible when I do dance
My love will leave her in a terrible trance.

Not fearing all of the things I have done
Poems are popular and people won't shun;
Poet Laureate will probably be the one
Whose title and dastardly deed fell upon.

Poets have become of an epic proportion
Distinctively not result of any distortion
Poems were best ones there could ever be;
Out of jealousy took them to heaven with me.

James Thomas Horn
Retired Veteran

Copyright © James Horn | Year Posted 2015

Details | Haiku |
a snowflake falls from heaven 
lands on the tip of my nose 
and points the way

Copyright © RUDOLPH RINALDI | Year Posted 2016

Details | Couplet |
To Heaven We Have to Go
or Hi Ho Where is the Dairy Oh

Loved him with all of his ambience
Which often had wished I could absconce
Wh happened to be handsome to the hilt
Like a frustrated flower, could make me wilt.

Was becoming with smile which was contagious
Almost as broad as from here to Uranus
Style was firm and for nothing ever did waiver
And I forever wanted to be in his favor. 

God who often harbors self in heaven above
Who we willfully worship and always love
He has developed a fallacy while growing older
Likes going around wearing a chip on his shoulder.

About problem, I warned him and also behooved
Once everything to heaven, you have moved
I had hoped that you would not ever mind
Leaving all that I own of mine behind.

In last days, he became meaner and meaner
While ending up taking us both to the cleaners
And when he finally in heaven had arrived
From our diligent divorce nothing had survived.

So when I said that you had become a mystic
You went to heaven and was totally ballistic
Now why would you want to go up there
Where no one smokes and they never swear.

Can you imagine some people having to go there.

James Thomas Horn 
Retired Veteran 

Copyright © James Horn | Year Posted 2014