Funny Faith Poems | Funny Poems About Faith

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Details | Personification |

A Magic Adventure Of Peter The Pan--part II

Inside the Dishwasher everyone rushed!
Clinks, clanks, rattles, 'Ouches' and ' Ohs'!
"Would you pa--lease, settle down!" said Deb--They hushed.
"Now we can hear...let's just see how this goes."

Curious, Peter, looked out through a chinc,
And watched Vie and Chris-- approaching by twos.
They opened the door--and who do you think--
Standing there wearing her fine Jimmy Choos,
Ms Lost Sonnet!--spoke not a word--but winked.

Wilma Wine-Corkscrew, dressed in purple hues
Gave the 'all clear', and Peter spread the news.

"We're having a party Ms Sonnet, please,
Won't you join us? It's a magic party
For Peter", said Ruben Rotisserie.
Bob Blender poured her a drink--quite hardy.

Connie Candellabra was flaming bright
As Ms Sonnet swept past to the soft couch.
Carolyn Cookie Jar screamed with such fright,
"Quick! She's on fire!" Then Lost cried, "Ouch!"

"I'll save her", said Catie Collander. "Here!"
But the water leaked through her like a sieve.
Susan Spatula yelled, "Have no fear, dear!"
Yet, the fire held on and would not give--

Others tried, but could not stop the fire.
Then Peter said, "I wuw twy! I can do it!
With 'Awwy, I can fwy! Way up highya!
Togethwa, we can save Ms Wost Sonnet!

Awwy is my fwend. He tawks funny, too!
He's aw the way fwom Engwand and he is
My Supwa Cape! So I can fwy! It's twue!
No H's wive theaw--his name is wike this:
'Awwy--not Hawwy." So now, they all knew.

"Did I 'ear some bloke colling my name?"
"Yes! 'Awwy, me! We've Ms Sonnet to save!"
Harry Handtowel--AKA, Super Cape--fame
Was now on the neck of Peter the Brave!

With no hesitation quickly they flew,
Smothered the fire and saved just one shoe.
Brittle and weak, Lost needed more than glue...
"She needs magic! Oh! Paweeze! What can we do?"

"Peter...we only made enough for you".
Said Carol Crock-pot. They all cried, "Boo Hoo..."
"Then give huw my magic! That's what you do!"
So quickly they sprinkled the magic brew.
Ms Sonnet was greatful--then said, "Adieu".

"Peter, you've done well," said Anne Assam Tea,
"Let's all have a cup'a tea and you'll see...
"'Magic's believing in yourself, --frankly,
Do that--and you can do--anything!"

~©deborah burch

*Special appearance by "Lost Sonnet", courtesey of David Williams...with much gratitude, thank you all for appearing ;)...Peter has many adventures to come...big hugs, love you all, cap'n deb

Copyright © Deborah Burch | Year Posted 2012

Details | Personification |

A Magic Adventure Of Peter The Pan

A Magic Adventure of Peter The Pan/AKA Peta The Fwying Pan

Peter was a fine young pan with blue eyes
Like all the other pans his age, except,
Peter could not yet pronounce 'R's'--he tried...
And 'L's' hard he tried. He even wept.

School had been especially hard today
Peter had been poked, teased, and made fun of
More this day than any other school day...
And the ride home took so long on the bus.

When he came through the door, his mama knew
"Why the long face? Are you hurt? Are you sick?"
"No ma'am," said Peter, "Just tiwad fwom schoow".
"Some cookies and milk may just be the trick!"

Mama said, as Peter sat down to eat.
By now, everyone was gathered around
To hear of his day--and sneak a treat.
So he told them his story...and they frowned.

"How can someone be so cruel! Makes no sense!
You are the smartest and brightest of pans!"
Said Debbie Dishwasher-- then cycle rinsed.
The rest agreed and came up with a plan.

"Okay! It's agreed!" said Bob the blender.
"You need magic!--THAT--we can render!

Charles Chalice and Gail Goblet--my dear
Bring what you have, for this magic milk shake.
Michael Magic go get us some beer
And also get Peter a great big steak!"

Then everyone sang together with cheer:
"A parr-ty! A parr-ty! It's a parr-ty!
We are all...having...a magic--parr-ty!"

Everyone was busy, hust'ling around.
Tams the Golden Toaster was making toast.
Tex Texas Tea Pot hummed a whist'ling sound.
David Dish and Sara Spoon danced the most,
Except for Marlon Mop--he could 'get down'!

Carol Crock Pot was fixing up the Soup.
Russell Rolling Pin had rolled out a crust
For a magic pie with love from the coop.
Joann Juicer made fresh smoothies--a must!
Suddenly...a sound was heard on the stoop...

"Who could that be? It's nearly midnight!"
Said Cyndi Chandlier all bright with light.
Christopher Cutting-board called, "I'll go see!"
Vienna Vaccume said, "Not without me!"

"Wait!" Debbie Dishwasher cried from the sink.
"Let's look at more options. We need to think.
It could be someone in need of a meal...
Or, it's a burglar--come here to steal!"

"Everyone else! Quickly! Hide inside me
Until we find out who that sound might be!"

deborah burch©

*****end part I...conclusion in part II

Copyright © Deborah Burch | Year Posted 2012

Details | Sonnet |


I am looking right at you and you don’t even know it.
I will deter your intent and throw you off a steep cliff.
But in the air will be my snuff and gruff you can sniff.
Eventually I will have some sort of mercy of just a bit.

Surely we are above empowering manners of tat for tit. 
Maybe I’ll light a scented candle and blow you my whiff.
Or maybe I will strand you grounding your bones to stiff.
Opposed or decomposed and still composed I won’t quit.

Upside down,
Inside or out,
I’ll throw down.
I am the clout.

Don’t mistake my identity,
Either or, it’s your eternity.

® Registered: Ann Rich   2009

Copyright © Ann Rich | Year Posted 2009

Details | Rhyme |

Where Has Dad Gone, Mama Dear

Where has dad gone, momma dear?
Hush, my little lamb.
Your dad's gone to the thicket dear 
And mad old Abraham

That man went early this grim morn, and took his sharpened knife
And with him took his own first born, to offer up his life
With servants and with firewood, both, they journeyed to Moriah
And on the hillside there they built an altar and a fire

And Isaac, when he heard the plan, went willingly, it's odd
That he should let that daft old man, so worship his cruel god.
Your father, he was passing by, and heard but could not see
And foolishly could not deny his curiosity

So closer did your father scramble peering through the thorns
Unaware of how the brambles tangled with his horns
Just to see a crazy man who planned to kill his kin
Your father did not understand the danger he was in

For then again that mad old man started hearing voices
His god was speaking to the loon and giving him new choices
And so his plan to slay the boy came about to falter
And Abraham, he took your pa and dragged him to the altar

But that was never fair, mama, can you tell me why
When Isaac he was all prepared and well prepared to die
And all had been decided on, so what cruel trick mama
Was played upon that grand old ram, who was my own papa?

Life is not fair, my little lamb, nor is it like to change
And fate plays tricks on all of us, both sinister and strange
So you take care, my little lamb, with this advice from me 
Do not visit places where you know you should not be

The moral of this story dear, is take heed of the odds
And stay away from two-leggies worshipping their gods

Copyright © Lee Leon | Year Posted 2011

Details | Rhyme |

Hope For The Middle Aged

A strange thing has happened in our lives
They call it middle age
Which I think is overrated
Definitely not all the rage.
We don’t know what changes there will be
Upon awaking each morning
But there are signs our years are advancing
Our bodies are giving us warning.
One day, I found quite surprising
And much to my chagrin,
While gazing in the mirror
A granny hair under my chin!
And as my spouse was starting his day
His body moving about
I heard him utter a groan
As one of his knees gave out.
When we were kids, we played outdoor games
I remember when “tag” was in
But now it’s turned into this ugly little thing
We find hanging from our skin.
There are other changes I could mention.
The list goes on and on.
But it’s really not the type of change
That I wish to dwell upon.
The change that I am longing for,
For which my spirit does sigh;
Will take place in a moment,
In the twinkling of an eye.
When the Lord returns to earth
And splits the Eastern sky
Caught up to meet him in the air
To heaven, I will fly.
This body, now slowly fading
Puts on immortality
Gone, the limitations of this flesh,
In his likeness, I will be.
Truly this is the change
That I’m longing to see take place
And forever I will be satisifed
When at last, I behold His face!

Copyright © Carol Connell | Year Posted 2017

Details | Haiku |

Haikus About God: V

Omniscient guy
Yet he lets bad things happen
How can he exist?

Copyright © Dan Keir | Year Posted 2013

Details | Narrative |

Racial Discrimination

"Do you know such a work place
with racial discrimination?"
Asked some homo sapiens  friends
who aren't so tall but with fair complexion.

By the way, you can make a guess,
if it is in your local place.
Maybe here, maybe there,
or perhaps abroad or somewhere else.

For this is an absolute experience,
for some who migrate in other places,
When it comes to work payment,
their compensation isn't that worth and fair.

Many are also asking questions,
like those with more responsibilities and work load.
"Why those workers with less but receive more?
Is it because of their color?"

However, "Yes" is isn't the answer,
especially that black and white are paid higher.
Then, they continue to wonder,
and make other presumptions on this matter.

"Aha! The sharpness of the nose maybe 
and not either based on work load or one's ability."
So, they think their presumption will come more precisely
to the fact or to the reality?

But, they thought they need not to waste their money
to plan with the doctor for a surgery.
Because if they do and they're getting low salary,
their employer may think they came from a well-to-do family.

It's really hard for them to think
what is the real gauge and basis.
"Is it the height or color of skin?
Aha! It's the color of the hair, they concluded finally.

So, those poor homo sapiens  friends
went to beauty parlor in nearby places.
They asked the beautician for help
and colored their hair brown, red, blond and some were golden.

After all of what they did, nothing had happened
because their reward from their effort and work is still the same.
So, they just kept calm and never  ever whine again,
realizing that racial discrimination really exists.

Hence, they work harder instead
and never ever I  heard their complains.
However, one of them had mention then
that they'll get more reward if they work  for God in Heaven.

Copyright © Galeo DS | Year Posted 2012

Details | Limerick |

A Whale of a Tale

When the call of the Lord came to Jonah,
“set out for the great land of Nineveh!”
he was angry inside,
and decided to hide,
on a Tarshish bound ship leaving Joppa.

Then the Lord sent a great wind on the sea,
ne’er a more violent storm could there be,
there on destiny’s brink,
the ship threatened to sink,
while, old Jonah, was below deck asleep.

Surely, each sailor’s heart fainted with fear,
as the ship they were unable to steer.
“Wake up, Jonah!”  they cried,
“get thee quickly topside,
and fervently beg your God to draw near!”

Now, Jonah knew that this storm was for him,
as in his heart he remembered his sin,
he thought he was sunk,
when they gave him the dunk,
and had to choose whether to sink or to swim.

As soon as Jonah met up with the ocean,
Both the winds and the waves ceased commotion,
then along came a whale,
and old Jonah grew pale,
as it swallowed him up in one motion!

Three long days in that big fish he stayed,
vowing never again would he stray,
relieved not to be dead,
and with kelp on his head,
onto dry land, our dear Jonah was sprayed!

Please, allow me, now this moral to mention,
that when the Lord God gives thee direction,
you must not delay,
set out right away,
His good judgment you must never question.

Should by chance, you hear God’s voice compelling,
“ head thee out to Bangladesh or New Delhi,”
best get on the right boat,
and pray that it floats,
lest you end up kelp covered and smelly!

Copyright © Shelly Berkeley | Year Posted 2007

Details | Footle |

Holy Humor

Jehovah's Witness' Door Pamphlets


Catholic Church During Halloween


Scrabble Night With Missionaries


Preacher Owning at Dungeons & Dragons


Our Holiness the Dalai Getting a Text From His Ex


Sea Anemone Makes Amends


Copyright © Timothy Hicks | Year Posted 2014

Details | Bio |

Solitude: To Yoda, An Ode

Green bark a prism creates,
Feel the pull of earth, you must.

Rotates, a slime of endless hates,
Can hold me not, this world’s crust.

Friendship’s ties, isolation Deflates,
Succumbs, my spaceship, to bitter rust.

Mist, my soul forever permeates,
Lift-off, booms the rocket’s thrust.

My spirit when light returns, elates,
Swamps swell, swallowed hope’s swirling dust.

Trapped, I am, until student from fate
Arrives to learn; Cloud City or bust.

Copyright © Dan Keir | Year Posted 2013

Details | ABC |

The Vent

im livin in a world, where all eyes on me.
trying to curve my own route.
but route 66 keeps finding its way to me.
ive been plenty sick, in all the events layed before me.
even when i reflect to my lowest points
i dont regret any of the choices
That I’ve deployed in my era
A lot of it by error, but hey
We live in hell conditions and there ain’t no air condition 
Or any guidelines when life throws you in the sidelines
But when hindsight twenty twenty hits
You’ll begin to understand life’s a bunch of equations and you in the mix of it
An you’ll have to think twice, before running into a situation and becoming the best of it
it’s what got me here, it’s what got us here
Ran with my thoughts blazing up to her place and
Guess what happened next
She opened up heaven’s gate
And just before late I slipped out
Simply put 
I’m a Grown ass man
Doin his thing, waitin to blow up like an old land mine
In doin what he drools over
But time after time 
Something decides to creep up and cover the light
Lost my way
Then I revoked to ever know, I ever thought that way
But in the in between time, that in the mean time 
Spent a lot of time
Gettin pissed off just to medicate and lift off
Don’t need Don Perion to sip off
Already had my way with the bottle
Even thought to get back with the trouble and rejoin the hustle
That’s just what happens to a man who really knows his old ways
Whos tired of making ends meet and ponders getting back to the streets.
Memory sets in and he remembers an O.G. saying
No matter how tall your pockets stand when you ball
Eventually times gonna make you fall
And I as I pull myself together 
I don’t wanna end up like the twin towers rubble
I mean no offence to nine eleven but at that time I probably could have used a reverend
But all that’s irrelevant now
because i live with a different perspective now

there you go you made it to the end :-) comment if you like, constructive criticism wanted as well.

Copyright © pat roswell | Year Posted 2013

Details | Limerick |

A day in the near future

What dark force wears the devil’s mark (666) 
And bites those thrown off “Noah’s Ark”?
Dragging sweets through the mud
While chomping for blood...
A bully is like a white shark*

*Only white sharks have better table manners, and so in the tradition of Emily Post—the innocent eventually rise up and seek justice—and use knives (and forks and spoons)! 

This poem was inspired by Laura Breidenthal's recent poem entitled "666".

Copyright © Duke Beaufort | Year Posted 2012

Details | Free verse |

Have a great weekend

A funny do is a funny don't
Don't believe me?
Say I tell you "do talk nonsense"
It means you make no sense
So don't
If I tell you "do cheer up"
You will be so perked up
So you don't do it any more
Lol believe me yet?
If I tell you "do do it"
You are going to think I order you
So you don't do it
Psychology my friend
Ahh what do I know?
Hey nobody is going to feel down okay?
Because it is weekend
Starting right now
You can leave the work load behind
Don't take home with you
It can be alone for a few days
No point of having it impeded on your weekend
This time is yours
Still feeling down? 
Just think somebody thinks you're wonderful
I wonder who
Me you fool
Anyhow try to have a cheery weekend
And I will talk to you later

Copyright © Toquyen Harrell | Year Posted 2014

Details | Couplet |

Where does the Time go

I feel as though time is slipping away,
And more is gone each passing day…

Copyright © Tirzah Conway | Year Posted 2012

Details | Free verse |

Still have no answer

My twiddling thumbs or is it fingers?
Who knows?
Why do you have the answer for everything?
Because if you don't you are in deep "s"
Why do we yell when we are satisfied?
Because if we don't we are going to explode
Try to contain the guys on game days and see what happens
Why do things only have one way?
Because it can't think for itself
Try to tell that to a woman
It's a no no
Because we have many ways
And they are all right lol
But with men there is only one way "go"
Try to balance?
Forget it
Things will never be balanced
Whether it's your check book
Or your over the top hormones
It's going to be out of balance
And that is for sure
So you enjoy this? 
I am going to call it
Gonna go to bed
God can wait

Copyright © Toquyen Harrell | Year Posted 2014

Details | Alliteration |

Stink Thinking

Poem by: Mr. Ronald Watson
Sep. 13, 2012
My Poetry on PoetrySoup

Stinking Thinking

Stinking thinking/ it leads to drinking./
What moisten the soul without an inkling?/
Unto making a wild left turn /while the right signal light were blinking./
Within a mild mix of rice, hops, and barley,
Since/ it is too much laugher at a karaoke party./
How Elvis sounds like,/ a broken Bob Marley?/
Now it’s as if,/ inhibitions are lowed/
Frozen in time/ and slipping far out of control./
As intuitions of minds does loathe,/ as such weariness echoes for tomorrow./
Yet,/ a stinking breath that smells just as death/ and it's where all funky asses dwells./
Though/ all hung over /and unjustified to flinging heavy heads into that porcelain king,/ 
Even this is a sight for red sore eyed Kings!/ 
It is an aftermath of ravishing through them royal purple cloth bags./
So/ afraid to admit that shallowness slowly drags!/
When,a sense of clarity which will just admit it.
That stinking thinking is difficult to kick, but
One day at a time, it is the only way to shine, or get fixed.  

Thank youMy Poetry on PoetrySoup
God Bless.

Copyright © TMP The mad poet | Year Posted 2012

Details | Free verse |

Tax time

I am going to write a funny poem
Does God ever say you have to be God?
When are you going to know?
Let me know okay?
Do you know what God does?
He does what you do haha
So watch it
You don't want to do a bad job, do you?
His reputation is at stake
Forget it - you don't care about that
You just care about you
Be careful, will ya?
I am gentle and extra sensitive
What am I?
Not a flower!
What are you?
Why do you tax me?
Don't you know that I'm taxed enough?
Uncle Sam and now you
Ahh it's that time
Okay I will make you pay haha

Copyright © Toquyen Harrell | Year Posted 2015

Details | Limerick |

The gun and god combo

"The peacemaker" is Glock's new gun
Its spent rounds are rapture and fun
Yes killing's a thrill
Since I'm mentally ill 
And need to own more than just one

A gun for me is like prozac
The bullets clipped pills in a stack
I'm not paranoid
But have weapons deployed
In case I should have an attack

Copyright © Duke Beaufort | Year Posted 2013

Details | Free verse |

Another one for the road

Okay I am going to write another funny poem
then I will call it a night
Bed time
Is there sofa time
Recliner time?
I am in them more than I am in bed
Do you like twins?
I just love twins
Especially when they are identical
How fun
Just think all the fun they can have 
pretending to be the other twin
No - not my evil twin
Do you remember your high school days?
Why don't people remember their college days?
Why? There is no life after high school?
I feel a tremendous admiration for people
who work outside in the heat
It takes a different breed - the hardy kind
I like people who work with their hands
Just think - what do we do without them?
Somebody has to do it
People are all good for something
At what?  Only they know
God knows what He is doing
What is your favorite decade?
Mine is the 80's
I remember and know all the songs
The hairdo's, the clothes
Now I don't even know anything
I was watching the show about "tiny houses"
Do people actually live in there?
I think they would be in cabin fever in a few weeks
Stuck in those little things
But I think it would be kinda fun
But what can you do?
You can have sex all day
That's all you can do
What can you do?
But I feel for them 
I got it
The liberty, the freedom, the room
I can never be a good car saleswoman
As I would feel for them
I would feel funny if I am taking somebody out for a ride
You know what I mean?
Car salesman loves me
He knows me by my name
Go to the same one every time
I know he is making money out of me
But do I care?
Service, man
That's what it's all about
Service - what kind of service?
I like him
That's what it's all about
Just kidding
Do we all want the same things?
Yeah why?
So boring
Why do you want the same things I want
And why I you?
Get away, would you?
Next thing I know you want that too
What is that?
I miss my pastor
He went on to be with the Lord
I remember how he used to preach
Still like it was yesterday
God calls people home when their work on earth is done
Do you believe it?
I do
Why else do you explain that our church building just got finished
And he went home?
Anyhow run will ya - until you can't run no more
Then you can walk or crawl...home
Do God give people gifts?
So they can enjoy themselves
or they can share?
Don't be a gift stingers
Give - give the gifts that keep on giving
What is that?
What are they?
Any gifts God gave you 
You can give
Just remember that
But don't go about giving me your piece of mind
That - you can keep to yourself - hehe
I love to party
Don't know why
I just love to have people come over and cook for them
And I don't even cook for me!
I saw the commercial for paper plates and cups
It said "remember when social means something?"
Yeah I remember - thought it still do
I am not too much a Facebook person
Don't want the whole world to know
what I am doing 
I don't want you to know my every move
If I do, I will get a bodyguard for that
But even then I don't
Ha I will be on vacation in a week
Come clean my house
I will be in the Bahamas 
Come live in my house
I will be in wherever
Do you need anything else?
No thank you
Just kidding
I like Facebook
I just don't share
Thought you said you are the giver?
Yeah giver - not sharer
I do not share
Never did, never will
That's it for now
I am going to bed

Copyright © Toquyen Harrell | Year Posted 2015

Details | Free verse |

Funny do's funny don't's

I will only write funny poems 
as I don't feel like I want to do anything else
Why are we so lazy at times?
Is it something that we ate
Or are we just natural born lazy?
I like to think we are natural born lazy
As I don't think we should give food that much credit
It may do something
I am getting ready to get a new look
Why not?
Am I a man that I'd be stuck with one?
Ahh men we love you 
You look so adorable in your natural state
The time has come
When did the time come?
I don't see it anywhere
My two dogs are just happy as they can be
I don't have to do anything
Unlike someone I know
Am I talking about you?
How do you know?
Got to buy some watermelons
before the summer is over
And I can only dream then
Ahh summer
Didn't it just get here?
Why is it so in a hurry to leave?
Is it because it doesn't want to fall down
before the old winter?
I think it just wants to sum up 
- yeah all the fun things
I kinda want Christmas to get here
I am ready for it
Oh the spirit 
The joy
in somebody's face
As I sure don't want to see the scowl
Have you hit the town lately?
I sure haven't
Not too sure what the latest dance move is
Or is there ever a latest dance move?
Everything is new
I like to watch HGTV
Don't know
Just watch people looking for houses
and buy houses
Just get me back to where I used to be
- still hunting
I get excited with them
That's why
Do you like to see people get their way?
I do 
Especially the women
Yeah we rule 
You'd better know it
Still on HGTV
Watching the wives rule 
I am going to be skinned down - alive
in a minute I am sure
I could never understand golf
Don't know how to play it
And I sure don't want to walk after the ball like that
Who am I?
I am not a ball chaser!
Do you think I can make a joke out of everything?
I think I can
Didn't I make a joke out of you?
Lol not
I have to stay away from those buffets
Too tempting
I found I ate more
And some of those things weren't even what I wanted
Ha things we complain about
Sorry Lord
Did you ever think why don't they make use of left-overs?
Left over by patrons
They can have a couple pigs back there
Fatten them up
And make food out of them
Complete the food chain
But do they ever listen to me?
Or their nose?
Anyway just a thought
If I had my way
this world will be such a better place
Everybody would have what they want
Do what they want
But of course I don't have my way
So you have to ask God, okay?
I gave you a pointer
Now ask
Do I want to go more?
I can go more
Can I go less?
Why do they call it an infinity pool?
It's definitely not infinite
But it's infinite for me
I will be dreaming on
Be in one
Definitely will get it
So cool
Okay that's it for now
Unless I feel like it later
Not talking about that thing!

Copyright © Toquyen Harrell | Year Posted 2015

Details | Light Poetry |

Dragon Fly

(To be read after my 'Fire and Brimstone'.)

Dragon Fly, Dragon  Fly, fly away home. You’ve caused enough trouble here, I am told.
All you wanted was to ring the church bell, but the belfry your body did not take well.
Terrible things happened all around, and the belfry you left is certainly not sound.
Old Lady Moore still has her cane, to protect them again, if you cause harm, within.
Old Lady Swanson’s lost hat is her major complaint, apologize profusely, be a saint!
The Church belfry will need lots of work; by the carpenter Trolls to fix it’s bridgework.
The people all need to calm down, they were scared and now the church is shutdown.
Looks like they’ll need a new fancy annex to be built for weddings and such… 
To help them  forgive… even… ever… slightly… enough. Though, of course…
The preacher himself…wants you back, for sure; I am definitely, and totally assured.
He’s never been inspired to such lofty greatness to soar, never, not even, once before.
He says you hold his key, to reach the lost, as they tune in to see what’s coming next.
He wants to add even, the Trolls to the mix. If they can be saved, well, you get the gist.
And you’ll have to attend church for quite a while, yes, still, as an itsy bitsy Dragonfly.
You’ll need to get forgiveness from all, you know, before you grow big, again, I am told.
The witch is quite clear on this spell, a dragonfly you’ll stay till everything’s made well.
Seems, you also, owe them an apology, for half scaring them… well… nearly to death.
Bumps, bruises, and a broken arm need to heal, from jumping over the pews, they feel.
Plus some of the teenagers, have made tee shirts of you, and want your autograph, too.
You see, your limited edition, when signed, will pay their way to bible camp, this time.
And the girl with the cast on her arm, wants a picture of you on a leash, so be charming!
You see, you scared her, a really whole lot, if she can pet you, her fear will be forgot.
It seems, you really messed up, this time, you see… but all will be forgiven, eventually.
So Dragon Fly, Dragon Fly, fly away home. They understood, once your story was told.
If you agree to all I have said: They’ll give you a bell outside, to ring before church…
Each and every Sunday Morn, with a special alcove, made for only you, to perch...

Remember, if God can love a mischievous little Dragonfly... And he can love you, too.
So until next church time... Bye Bye...

Copyright © Carol Eastman | Year Posted 2013

Details | Free verse |

A funny one for the road

I want to write a funny poem
Why does the chicken cross the road?
Because it was tired of the pen
Did you get the joke about tomorrow?
Yeah it is never here
How can you know that you are free?
Because you don't have anything hold you back
Got it?
How can you see things clearly?
It's when you step outside
Give just how you get it
That is all you can do
Unless You want to be God
And that - You can do too
In your dream
Dream - amour
What is that?
A mental disease
You need to get rid of it, my friend
Before you become a laugher in your town
My town anyway
Not up to a joke
Well you can be a joker
And the joke is on you
How high is high?
When I can't see anything
Include that which it is down here
Talk about tomorrow
Why would you care?
It'll be here whether you want it or plan it
So save your tomorrow till when it comes
Have your today
I plan to have my today
I don't want my tomorrow
It's too much tasking
And I don't like it
Grin and bear
You are talking about moi?
I don't bear
And I don't grin
Am I a man?
Two wrongs don't make it right
Who gives a s?
Two rights don't make it wrong either
But do I care?
Now if you say three wrongs will make it right
Yeah that is when God knocks you over the head
for being so stupid
Do I know common sense?
No I am not common
And I have no sense
My nose stuffs up
By whom the road clears?
By the order of the most on high
- The city crew
Far sighted or near sighted
I can never tell
I just know it is the opposite
Be right back
You'd better be right
Slum construction
Why do you have to construct a slum?
Got one to know one
What does two get?
A big zero
Because you cancel out each other 
Get it?
Negative and positive?
You are too slow
I am going to bed

Copyright © Toquyen Harrell | Year Posted 2015

Details | Free verse |


I am going to write a funny poem
Why?  Because I feel like it
Why do you go the extra mile?
Great waistline my friend
I love watching "Impractical Jokers"
Why?  They are so outrageous and daring
Something I wouldn't do
Not lol
How would you like it if everything you say 
makes people laugh?
I don't think you would enjoy it
Because you don't know if they laugh with you
Or at you
I am a couch potato
Is anyone like me?
I don't want to do nothing
I just want to sit on my recliner and chill
Until I get my fill 
I just can't get over how funny God is
He makes some of us like dark meat 
and some of us like white meat
I am talking about chicken, mind you
Just think how wasteful it would be if all of us like dark meat
Or white meat
This way nothing goes wasted
Why do you think I am attracted to you?
God my friend 
He puts something in you that causes something in me pulled lol
Yeah He has a sense of humor
I can sit here all day and talk about how funny God is
Why do you think some birds think of dancing for their mates?
Do you think it can just think of it?
Or do you think God is behind it?
Yeah you too
You would dance for your mate if you have a chance
And make a fool out of yourself
You don't care
Because it's called love
I could swear they put something in my Coke
Why do you think I have to have a Coke each day
Yeah it's no good
It's addicting
I think it's the sugar
Or the caffeine
Whatever it is, it is pulling me
to McDonald's
Got to stay away from that place
I am becoming a kid all over again
We had a celebration at work
to celebrate "Black History"
I am telling you
I admire the achievements they have done
and know they may have more to come
Just think how many obstacles they have overcome
Can you do it?
Talk about resilience
Endurance, strength, and so much more
Don't let the stereotype blinds you
See my friend
You look better that way
Anyway I will leave you for now
But hang on to my words, will ya
You'll need it

Copyright © Toquyen Harrell | Year Posted 2015

Details | Limerick |

Door-to-Door Snake Oil Salesmen

"Let's spread the word of the Lord!" they exclaimed
"Knocking on doors - surely none could be blamed!"
   It's simply a matter of time
   Up the walls we will climb
Our inevitable ire will thus be inflamed

Copyright © Renee Kelly | Year Posted 2011

Details | Rhyme |

Outhouse Blues

Sitting in the outhouse,
Gettin' high on turds;
Thinking about my crappy life,
Can't sum it up in words

The kids ain't worth a quarter,
They're meaner than the mob;
All they do is eat and fart,
They won't go find a job!

I have a cat named Bonzo,
He hates his litterbox;
Squats wherever he chooses,
Right on my favorite socks

My stupid dog Binky,
Dumber than an English pea;
He never barks at strangers,
Instead, he barks at me!

My bills are in collections,
I'm about to lose my job;
The car's in repossession,
I feel like a rotten slob

Maybe I'll grab my gun,
And try to end it all;
Enough with all the drama,
I'm tired of takin' the fall!

When I think I've had enough,
Others have it worse;
Suicide's the cheap way out,
It's time to put God first!

Who knows if I'll be homeless,
Standing in a kitchen's line;
Today the skies are dreary,
Tomorrow's sun will shine

Copyright © Milton Toran | Year Posted 2010

Details | Rhyme |

Can I make an appointment with you

Dear Lord, I’d love to meet you. I’ll just check my diary now
To see when it’s convenient, so I can squeeze you in somehow.
Oh dear, it seems on Monday night I won’t be free.
I’ve made a new acquaintance, who has invited me for tea.
On Tuesday, I’ll be at the hairdressers fixing a new style.
So I’m afraid that day won’t do, ‘cause my hair might take a while.
I can pencil you in on Wednesday between twelve and one.
But I’m conscious that my meeting may go on and on and on.
Ah, Thursday might be better, but it’s very, very tight.
I’ll be preparing a meal for friends coming over that night.
Friday is not looking good; I’ve a report that needs completing
And after that, I apologise, I’ve booked another meeting.
Saturday is family day; and we have so many things planned.
You know how family is important; I’m sure you’ll understand.
Since I’m going to church on Sunday, I’m sure I’ll meet you there.
I guess we can catch up between the worship and the prayer.
But right now Lord, I’ve got to dash, I have no time to speak.
So hopefully we’ll rearrange and attempt to meet next week!


Copyright © Elayne Ogbeta | Year Posted 2014

Details | Free verse |

The Egg Eaters Hallow


Copyright © Nate D. | Year Posted 2010

Details | Couplet |


         MEN OF GOD

Kenya is a Godly nation
Check on any TV station
Starts at dawn and goes all day
Teaching people how to pray

Then at night it's shilling serious
With the watchers drunk –delirious-
If you want the chance to pray
First you get the chance to pay

“Men of God,” my colleague swilled--
“Deserve a special God-rate bill.
When I do a job for them
Charge them twenty not just ten.”

 Victoria Anderson-Throop ©
12/01/12  Juja, Kenya  Africa

Copyright © Victoria Anderson-Throop | Year Posted 2012

Details | Verse |

Can You See The Cookie Tree

I was walking in the park last week,
when to me, a young boy did speak.
'Excuse me mister can you tell me,
where can I find a cookie tree?
I know that there are some in here,
and I've been told that they are near,
yes, before I was the age of three,
I knew all about the cookie tree!
I've never seen one yet, although,
they're definitely here, yes this I know,
as from a very young age they've told me so,
that cookie trees in this park grow.
So come on mister, tell me please,
where in this park are the cookie trees?
I have to find them before I'm old,
and they're definitely here, because I've been told.'

I answered him in the following way.
'Since I was young I've come to play,
and wander freely all around this park,
but your question leaves me in the dark.
Because, never once in all this time,
have I come across any sign,
to tell me that cookies grow on trees,
where did you get your info please? '
Straight away, the kid replied.
'Oh well, you're the first one that I've tried.
I didn't think I'd do it with ease,
you know, find the orchard of cookie trees.
So I'll carry on until I find,
someone who believes, and isn't blind,
yes a person who really, truly agrees,
with the fact that cookies grow on trees!

Copyright © Tom Higgins | Year Posted 2012

Details | Free verse |

Song excerpts' nonsense

I want to know where love is".  Where have you been looking?
"Love will turn you around".  How do you know?
"You want twice, three times ah lady".  Wow, I want that many lol.
"I remember how you love me".  You'd better haha.
"Baby, I want you".  How much do you want me? lol
"Hey, you got to hide your love away".  Why?  You got to?
"You are everything and everything is you".  Lol, really?
"I never dream that I need somebody like you".  Do you dream of anything else? haha
"When I need you, just close my eyes then I am with you".  Okay okay I have too much of this
I think I will stop for now.  All these dreamy songs are putting me to sleep. Good night.

Copyright © Toquyen Harrell | Year Posted 2014