A fleeting still small voice tries to warn me
A sudden overwhelming desire to run
The tell tale taste of metallic flakes
Means my nightmare has begun
Everything around takes on a ghostly pallor
A landscape of anguish and corrosion
A moment of silence before the violence
The flash of light, the brilliant explosion
The sound of the Sun fills my ears
Fear, my throat, though none escapes me
And paralyzed I clench my eyes
As my tormentor prepares to rape me
And it's endeavor is absolute
Consumption is its ultimate goal
It exists to chase me so it can erase me
Whilst feasting on my soul
And then that familiar salty smell
The sudden rush of warmth so stings
Engaging me relentlessly
In vile unspeakable things
Over and over and over again
My limbs stretched and wrought
As it's teeth tear my bones bare
It's mind defiles my thoughts
And still wounds beget wounds beget wounds
As in the mouth of madness I suffer
And with every injury he just seems to be
Rougher and rougher and rougher
Then just as suddenly as it began it ceases
And for a moment I am clearer
And then the true horror of it all
Is revealed in a darkly lit mirror
There in front of me stands my destroyer
Face flush with it's fill of my pain
And I find that it's eyes and mine
My God, they’re one in the same
Copyright © James Burns | Year Posted 2011
A plastic smile
He waves hello
To all his friends
He'll never know
Beneath his skin
There lives the sin
The hurt within
A silent wish
A crazy thought
How does one kill
A mind distraught?
An answer looms
As dead as leaves
It covers life
A matchstick lit
An open sore
A fire burns
Consumes the core
The pain is gone
When all that's left
Ash on the floor
Copyright © Yoni Dvorkis | Year Posted 2009
Walking through the darkness
of the madness in my mind
I stumble on the pieces
of the twisted thoughts I find
I think about the way I am
and what I'll never be
as I sort through the wreckage
of what once was known as me
Searching for the sunshine
I am drowning in the rain
submerged in black emotion
I'm infused with all it's pain
There is no way I can escape
this hell inside my head
and though I am still breathing
I've become the living dead
In my heart I'm grieving
for a life I'll never know
I'm begging for my freedom
as I feel my madness grow
I am praying for redemption
as I choke on bitter tears
but I cannot find forgiveness
as I'm swallowed by my fears
I wonder if they see it
when they look into my eyes
I'm torn apart and weakened
as in silence my heart cries
and all the feelings that I hold
are suffocating me
as they cut and claw my mind
until they're all I see
Time is rushing by me
I am tired, growing old
the winds of change are blowing
and their bite is harsh and cold
I keep fighting for my freedom
but my freedom I won't find
as long as I am living
in the madness of my mind
Living with my madness
is the only life I know
and so much time is wasted
as my useless teardrops flow
I don't need to see tomorrow
should it be just like today
while I'm living in my madness
I'm not living anyway
Note: This was written after a bout with my depression and all is well! To quote a dear,
beloved friend, I am “Making lemonade”! Love, Robin
Copyright © Robin L. Gass | Year Posted 2009
Another day comes
another one goes
and when it will end
no one really knows
time marches faster
with each passing day
as I'm watching life
just slipping away.
The hours tick by
as into the night
hurting and hopeless
devoid of my light
I'm seeking answers
to set my mind free
should I keep trying
or should I still be?
Where am I going
and what should I do
am I a failure
who's washed up and through?
The rest of the days
that I have left here
surely are numbered.
my heart sheds a tear.
So much time wasted
so many dreams killed
I feel my heart quake
another tear's spilled.
The morning draws near
no answers I find
searching these chambers
alone in my mind.
Do I have value
and what is my worth
am I just wasting
my time on this earth?
Answers evade me
as time ticks away
my heart is weeping
as I kneel to pray.
Dear God please tell me
please give me a sign
am I just crazy
by my own design?
Will I be able
to conquer my pain
or will I always
feel like I'm insane?
What is my meaning
where do I fit in
before my life's through
why did it begin?
I notice the sun
another day's over
Copyright © Robin L. Gass | Year Posted 2009
I don’t want to play any more,
it's time to put away my mask.
And although people need to laugh,
I'm simply not up to the task.
My act is not very funny,
and will probably be my last.
For like the white-face that I wear,
I’m just a relic of the past.
I find it hard to paint a smile,
on top of a permanent frown.
And yet, in costume I'm expected
to quickly flip frowns upside-down.
It has been a long time coming,
but I need to rethink my dream.
And try my hand at something else,
less emotionally extreme.
When I look into a mirror,
I want to see more than a clown.
And should someone asks what I do,
it'll no longer bring me down.
Copyright © Emile Pinet | Year Posted 2016
deceptively black and white, like night and day
touching everyone yet never truly felt
colorless emotions lucent like crystal water
as ice fades into warmth of day, destined to melt
but a specter, a phantasm, a ghost am I
no more than a visitor in your dreams
unseen, a diminutive reflection of you,
a broken mirror, a thousand silent screams
no one sees me, no one hears me, no one
alone, so very alone, you look through me
like mist in the morning I fade in the light
am I here or a figment that you can't see
just a breath that tickles the back of your neck
invisible, easily brushed away, a mite
LOOK AT ME! I am here! a rainbow that needs love too
I'm real, I'm not so deceptively black and white
Copyright © James Inman | Year Posted 2016
Restless nights and guarded days,
past sins await penance paid.
Yet, you vow to mend your ways,
acknowledging love has strayed.
Empty lies shadow your past,
cast by promises pending.
And good times go by so fast,
suddenly they’re ending.
The months soon morph into years,
pressures build and nerves get raw.
And laden with doubts and tears,
youthful years slowly withdraw.
Each day is left to fate’s whim,
as friends drift when pledges break.
And passion and desire dim,
leaving nothing but heartache.
Through the years, hope never fails,
yet, you can’t deny old age.
And follow elusive trails,
trying to escape time’s cage.
Copyright © Emile Pinet | Year Posted 2016
Of all the treasures one can own,
The greatest of these is love.
You're loved by me and many more
And by your God above.
Sometimes we must turn from ourselves
To fully understand
The loveliness surrounding us
As bounty from His hand.
Take heart my friend, you are needed
On this earth God has made.
Whether as sunflower in the sun
Or violet in the shade.
Each and everything has a place
In the greater scheme of things;
The mole burrowing under ground
Or eagle with his wings.
God loves you and is well aware.
He knows how deep your pain.
No matter how long the journey,
The road will turn again.
One day lasts twenty-four hours
And not one minute more.
Your ship is sailing with the tide
And soon you'll sight the shore.
The storms of sea will be behind
Despairs and fears all done.
Take heart my friend, we're here until
You new day has begun.
By: Joyce Johnson
Copyright © Joyce Johnson | Year Posted 2014
I find myself looking at the ground
For there is no rainbow in the sky
The pot of gold has turned to dust
No answer to the question "why ?"....
written after thinking about all the
recent discussion about depression.
Copyright © Barbara Gorelick | Year Posted 2014
I've heard there are two paths you can go by,
I've read I ought to take the path less traveled;
I've made my own path despite,
Ever having given either path a gamble.
Lost traversing aimlessly through,
The lush spring prairies full of life;
I seem to unknowingly choose,
Desolate vast tundras of ice.
A colorless empty wasteland,
Slows down my once wondrous journey;
Turning my hue-less eyes face down,
Numbing the thoughts that concern me.
Selfishly I ponder on,
Giving myself a gander;
My lucid daydreams carry-on,
Struggling to turn my criticism to banter.
With no longing for a sunrise,
No interest in howling at the moon;
Only now in sunset skies,
I can feed my empty tomb.
I have known that for survival,
Trapped within this frigid glacial world;
Atonement flourished revival,
Sent within a single warm word.
Precipitous licking fire,
It's flares echo from up above;
Precipitates the muck and mire,
To precipitation of love.
Still off in the foggy distance,
I can faintly hear the tone;
Beckoning to my existence,
For my soul for whom the bell tolls.
My tortured weary body aches,
While my minds bright embers aglow;
The songbirds of sorrow awaits,
Reaping dark empty seeds I sow.
Devaluating precious time,
And prioritizing my pain;
Has left self-loathing in my prime,
With a pessimistic disdain.
Perhaps time isn't as real,
As understands our mind's perception;
It must just be the moments we feel,
More like a figment for recollection.
As the white sands of time flow through the glass,
I helplessly watch their numbers diminish;
With every grain another lapse,
With every moment that goes till it's finished.
Copyright © Mike Jones | Year Posted 2016
When passion's flame met its demise,
its death gave rise to empty smoke.
And although it held little weight,
it crushed your heart until it broke.
Love was weaned on uncertainty,
for emotions carry a cost.
And within your fantasy realm,
the reality of now's lost.
The hours slowly morph into days,
drifting into forevermore.
And struggling with anxiety,
you find memories to explore.
A face from the past sparks a smile,
as you recall a time of love.
And you revisit yesterdays,
to confirm what dreams are made of.
Love’s magic is spontaneous,
sparks simply ignite in the heart.
Yet, they’re quickly extinguished,
when feelings of rejection start.
Time takes you past the piercing pain,
where dreams and hopes slowly renew.
For you will fall in love once more,
you need only believe, in you.
Copyright © Emile Pinet | Year Posted 2015
I stand here and watch the changing of seasons,
a summer of winters, an autumn of springs,
I stand here in thought, not knowing the reasons,
to the meaning of life, how the caged bird still sings.
I stand here and watch as the years pass me by,
regrets of my past, what my life might have been,
I stand here and muse over one butterfly,
freed from the prison it had put itself in.
I stand here and watch as the dark turns to day,
the first glimpse of sunrise, a shimmer of light,
I stand here and wonder where clouds go to play
would they take me with them when day turns to night?
I stand here on guard while my inner self dreams,
of a world free of hurting, a life blank of stain,
I stand here and listen while my inner self screams,
with fear in his eyes and a soul filled with pain.
I stand here alone, memories by my side,
a flood of emotions, bittersweet in my mind,
I stand here unknown with the tears I have cried,
searching for answers in a world where I'm blind.
Copyright © Curt Mongold | Year Posted 2008
A wildflower stands erect
Soaking in rays of radiance
As the bees and townsfolk buzz
And the wind sways in a slow dance
Contentment is where she stands
Until she spots something missing
Among all the townsfolk talk
She was bound to start listening
Was in the clouds but now on land
Leans in to get a better view
A life involved with others
But she doesn't know what to do
Clueless but curious
Tries to start a conversation
In search of a smile
Doesn't find it in rejection
Caring but cautious
Hoping to look approachable
In search of a word
Doesn't happen when you're invisible
Confused and crushed
World doesn't make much sense
In search of a friend
Everything is better in ignorance
Laughter among all but her
She hides her eyes in sorrow
A life void of others
No hope for tomorrow
Disappointment is where she stands
Teased by something she can't have
Alone among a crowded crowd
Her heart wounded by lonesome's stab
A wildflower builds a wall
Unsure if she can be saved
Brick by brick is stacked
Her own prison's being paved
Copyright © Destiny Budd | Year Posted 2010
With all my heart and fairly,
Did I offer sweet surprise-
A birthday present early,
An art drawn near sunrise
All night working perfection,
I had gotten the shading right
With the shadow and reflection-
A suave leopard napping tight
He vowed I’d forget him some day
Though little did he know,
A month before my dear’s birthday,
His gift was ready to go
As time went by and quickly,
Fine colors met dark shades
His affections died so swiftly
And he erased the luster away
For the suave leopard in me slept
As long as his heart did rage
My gift through tears had crept
On the perfection of the page
Happy Birthday to you dear,
My present waits to be sent
I will cease these useless tears
For my love is time well spent
Copyright © Laura Breidenthal | Year Posted 2015
An orange little ball,
Tattered and torn to bits,
No longer does it fly straight,
Its course lost, its path in fits,
An orange little ball,
Sad within its cracks and in its creases,
Faded bumps, its lost its grip,
It now falls to pieces,
Orange little ball,
Come to death smiling,
Never live just to die,
Happiness lives in and amidst the crying,
Orange little ball,
Wipe the tears away,
There is peace to be found,
In and amongst the fray.
Copyright © Joshua Brown | Year Posted 2013
I am swimming, see no land;
The sea black darkened silence.
The only sound my grappling hand
In a tinted glass of violence.
No fish no coast no one is there;
Only me in icy stillness.
I look around, can only stare
In pitch black oily darkness.
A naked fish, in water still;
A helpless struggling creature.
A drowning small one, only filled
With lack of past or future
A tiny fleck in waters vast,
To disappear completely
In vortex swirling far too fast;
N/A in contest: Premiere I - Open
Date judged: December 27, 2016
2nd place in contest: Contest Form G or GIVE me an NA
Sponsor: Broken Wings
Date judged: February 7, 2017
Copyright © Darren White | Year Posted 2016
If I had a bottle of pills
I’d dump them out inside my mouth
Take the last few swigs of vodka
And swallow all of them down
If I had a big sharp knife
I’d drag the cold steel across my skin
If I thought for a moment it might
Bring this feeling to an end
I’d stare down the barrel
If I had a gun
Find the trigger with my finger
Pull it and be done
If I had a car
I’d park inside the garage
Leave the motor running
Till the poison filled my lungs
If I had a rope
I’d make myself a noose
Dangle there in my own doorway
Till somebody cut me loose
If I had someone to love
I'd probably treat them bad
Since that's all that I've known
In relationships of the past
If I had a heart in my chest
I'd be able to forgive and forget
But there is nothing left
Of that beating mass of flesh
So I'll just continue
Sitting all alone and in the dark
A typical evening in with the cat
Doesn't seem that bad after all.
Copyright © Lisa Hicks | Year Posted 2011
My harshest critic is the mirror,
Revealing to me...I haven't moved on.
My life has no current of happiness,
Just a stagnant still pond.
I dwell in a lonely atmosphere,
Though surrounded by numerous friends.
I feel the happiness...I once had,
Has came to an untimely end.
A numbness in my emotions,
The haziness never gets clearer.
It's now what people say about me,
My harshest critic is the mirror.
Copyright © Raul Moreno | Year Posted 2009
Don't give me that look
It was just a cut
I am no crook
I feel better
To see my arm bleed
You yell, "Get Her"
But the cut is my feed
Why do you make me stop?
It doesn't hurt that bad
You are not some sort of cop
Cutting makes me glad
I don't feel anymore
But the sharp blade
I am no longer hurting in the core
All the feelings fade
I wear a jacket
To cover the scars
And I'll have to hack it
They are my permanent memoirs
So I'll just sit
And sharpen the knife
Don't throw a fit
This is my life
It's not like you know pain
I do, more then others
I live life in vain
And I won't get help from my mother
I don't want your help
Just leave me alone
So just hush your yelp
Don't give me that tone
This is my choice
Not yours to say
The cut is my voice
So just let me waste away...
This is for anyone, who has felt alone, you aren't, things can never be as bad as they seem, just keep
moving and never give up.
Copyright © Jen H. | Year Posted 2009
Blue petals of a forget-me-not
resting against a marble headstone,
with this image engraved on my heart
I play my violin, home alone.
Looking out of place amidst white rock,
a blue, as vivid as crimson blood,
rebuffs the paling pallor of death,
with a promise conveyed in its bud.
The icy hand of fear grips my heart
shrouded in a cerulean hew,
and callused fingers caress the strings,
lamenting the love I felt for you.
Grief resonates within every note,
sending sad tears dribbling down my cheeks,
as I conjure happy memories,
granting my soul the comfort it seeks.
Copyright © Emile Pinet | Year Posted 2017
You do not know about my nights
It is a different universe
Where life is being so much worse
There is no room for happiness
When eyes are closed the demons roam
They rule where I live uninvited
They make a nightmare of my home
My safe place horribly invaded
After I wake up, I'm not me
My back against a wall, and shaking
My eyes are blind but still I see
The torture. Fear so real and aching
How my life stopped and then began
In every painful little detail
How I was born after I ran
This world, so new, I am so frail
I am not strong, see me here crying
After this nightmare again, again
Give me your arms, I just want lying
In safety with you, without pain
Copyright © Darren White
April 26, 2017
Copyright © Darren White | Year Posted 2017
The parachute just will not open,
As I spiraled, free falling to the ground,
This nightmare is happening again,
Never able to leave this merry-go-round.
Another day of struggle and strife,
In a throat hold deadly dangerous grip,
I’ve lost the concept and meaning of life,
Drowned in self-pity waters I do dip.
Love can neither rescue or save me,
Falling faster than the pouring rain,
On this rafter lost on the high sea,
I know in my heart I have nothing to gain.
They say that misery adores company,
In my case, this is neither right nor true,
Wishing that I could one day see,
And live a life never feeling blue.
The other side of me is light and free
As I'm soaring the skies like an eagle
High and jubilant, nothing escapes me
On top of the world, a ruler, regal
Who does need sleep? I don't, I'm writing
Poem after poem, and in between
I paint, play guitar, I am thriving
The most wonderful person ever seen
I am at full speed, creative high tide
No one can follow, I love you all
All that worried me I now push aside
Trying to forget about my next fall...
Why can't I have some balance, always!
Where I'm creative, and not feel bad
Where I can sleep, happiness stays
Without knowing that I'll soon be sad.
Copyright © White Wolf | Year Posted 2017
Once again to my chagrin
This nightmare perseveres
And through the glass it comes to pass
To feed upon my fears
And it seems to slay my dreams
And in their stead leave blind
Mine own two eyes to that one prize
My soul doth seek to find
Still I pray that night gives way
And cures this circumstance
That captive holds my weary soul
Within it's darkened trance
And perhaps lay loose the straps
That bind me to this cross
And free from 'round my neck now bound
This curs'ed albatross
Copyright © James Burns | Year Posted 2010
Lightning flashes and the rain falls
as the storm rages on tonight,
the family is so worried about you
and wanting to know you're alright.
Late, last Sunday afternoon
you tried to take your own life,
twice with the same medication
that was supposed to end your strife.
You were taken away and we don't
even know where you are right now,
but everyone is just hoping
that you can comeback somehow.
What ever happened to you,
that caring person you once were,
who could always make me laugh
oh, how I do remember her.
You took care of me when
I needed someone to be there,
so many good memories flash back
of the fun times we would share.
We are all still wondering why
you are suffering in depression,
and how could you ever hurt us
with such unexpected aggression.
You left your teenage son
alone in a state of panic and fear,
now we can only wish and wait
for some kind of real cure.
I wrote this after my aunt tried to commit suicide last Sunday, June 15th.
Thankfully, she was not successful. She has been struggling with depression
for about 10 years and this is the worst state that we've ever seen her in.
Our family and the doctors keep trying to help her, but nothing has worked yet.
So, we will have to wait and see where things go from here, as we still have no
word on her current condition.
We are not a religious family, but it might help if you could send out your
positive thoughts, and maybe keep us in your prayers during this difficult
and confusing time.
Copyright © Kelly Deschler | Year Posted 2014
Caught in the whirl of the wind
Fought with the wilds of the west
As I looked for the light that has dimmed
I reached out till my sight found my quest
Alas! Wretched am I who has sinned!
Thinking I’m better than best.
Humbling myself for your grace
Hoping this pain’s not in vain
With the tears of my shame on my face
I forsake all the fame I have gain’d
For the love and my savior’s embrace
Now, I will dance in the rain.
16 July 2015
Isaiah Zerbt's Quatrets
Copyright © KP Nunez | Year Posted 2015
Some tears are broken and they hurt like hell
Some are poison and viscous as well
Some are darts that tear you apart
But some a surgery that mend a broken heart
Copyright © Kevin C. Martin | Year Posted 2015
Lord, I do not know what to do;
Please, lead me by Your side.
Decisions I'm facing are lost and through;
Please, lead me to do what's right.
Copyright © Kevin C. Martin | Year Posted 2013
Awake in a nightmare dream,
reality can’t keep pace.
And like Munch’s painting "the scream,"
anxiety warps my face.
Rank smells announce my presence,
roaming the land of the blind.
For all beggars and peasants,
stink like sweat and piss combined.
Draped in yesteryear’s fashion,
I strut about ten feet tall.
And looking frail and ashen,
I'm invisible to all.
Victim of hypocrisy,
I’m treated like common trash.
And despite democracy,
abused and emptied of cash.
I’m like a myth, mired in doubt,
kept out of mind, out of sight.
For a whisper cannot shout,
and a ghost evades the light.
Copyright © Emile Pinet | Year Posted 2016
The days have passed as if within
a dream I have been living
now I wake into the sun
new life its rays are giving.
Yet I fear to touch reality
for it may slip away
and draw me back into this dream
that turns my world to gray.
Lost within this dream alone
pain feeds upon my mind
and with its shadows in my eyes
to color I am blind.
But once again the day dawns new
and draws me to its light
where I won't have to walk alone
and colors fill my sight.
So I'll hold fast to all I've gained
to end this weary dream
I'll venture into life again
and flow on with the stream.
during a hospitalization for depression
Copyright © Robin L. Gass | Year Posted 2009
Inside I scream but no one listens
to mental ache attached to my brain.
Darkness prevails as daylight glistens
and my existence gradually wane.
Thought is distorted from right to wrong
unclear of direction up or down.
Not really sure of where I belong
so alone in my sorrows I drown.
I can’t remember when I last ate
or when I last took a warm shower.
Sleepless days and nights I really hate
feeling content is out of my power.
When will someone know that I am here
a person with a shadowing pain.
Sometimes I wish I could disappear
and not labeled as being insane…
Copyright © 2015 By Caryl S. Muzzey
Second Place Winner ~ "Any Sad Poem" Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Broken Wings
Nov. 25, 2015
Copyright © Caryl Muzzey | Year Posted 2015