Funny Star Poems | Funny Poems About Star

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Details | Alliteration |



"I can’t find the words I want to say! “
Under the moonbeam and sparkling scattered stardust, 
I can feel the dew, which surpasses through the night.
As I speak to you in tongue, this stale flavor becomes overdone. 
A taste of what is behind them luscious ludicrous lips.

I finally ask!
“Do you not feel what I feel?
Can you not feel my heart hesitating and holding hectically?
Addressed with attach anticipation on your side!
It is my hesitation, to answer with, “Please?”
The dwelling night disappears, underneath my deepen darken days,
In which makes every day, another night to come.
The wondering and whining worsens a little more.
I ache for seconds more, than my mind begins to mend.

The mornings keep approaching fast, the silences breaks!
Shattered scattered splattered words, finally released.

You start to nurture up around your notable noble nearsighted eyes.
For I have starved, just about all I can take.
Master of this crying slave… 
“Your perception burns, the prescription, of persuasive deception.”
Your inacceptable improper intention cannot heal me now!
Leaving an awkward awareness feel, which lingers to the lustiness’, lost inside of me.
With a wallow with a swallow, soaping and spiting the sight of you.
Meanwhile your thoughts focus on the painful pulsating pleasure. 
You will unleash on me…
For leaving all the crummy crumbling crumbs under our silver satin sheets.  
I will be smacking and snaking surrendering and yielding, yearning at your will.

Please Master Can I have another, Cracker in bed~~ ?


Copyright © Poet Destroyer A | Year Posted 2012

Details | Narrative |

My Cousin's Wedding

My cousin shared her wishes and dreams, On our star gazing night, she whispered them so sweet As a shooting star glided down from the sky, She said, I wish ….. I wish…. all I wish are these tonight Someday, I will marry a smart, rich and handsome guy And have a grandiose banquet on my nuptial rite We’ll be dancing like a lovely prince and princess , With all my wedding sponsors on their best suits and dresses All in pink ,that’s the motif I will surely request. She kept into her dreams as several years passed by, Still searching for her prince charming who’s hard to find Unconsciously going beyond the age to give birth to a child, In a hurry at age of seventy, she took a rich ninety years old guy. The wedding was held after a day or two, The guy seated on his wheelchair with rheumatism on his toe She headed slowly at the alter to accept his shaking hands, Two nurses followed, so with sponsors dressed up in printed brown. The highlight of the wedding rite started at once, They held tightly with a nebulizers on the other hands, But the words of oath, they took time to pronounce False teeth were both misplaced and nowhere to be found. Reception followed grandiosely in the guy’s mansion, I saw many old men and women still eager to dance on the floor, With hunched back, shaking knees, they twisted rock and roll Then, sweet music played and my cousin danced with her groom. But, we all wondered how did he stand alone? He’s so heavy , I knew my cousin couldn’t help him at all, With our great surprise, his nurse was at his side like his crutch Everyone thought , he’s really a smart guy! Was he not? Then, everyone followed them so happily on the spacious hall, And in trio, they held each other so tight and moved like a fool.
Written: Sept. 15, 2012 First Place Contest: My Cousin's Wedding (funny poem) Contest Judged: 9/30/2012 Poet Sponsor: Joann Grisetti

Copyright © Galeo DS | Year Posted 2012

Details | Limerick |

Guiding Star O'er Washington

I pray a  bright star will shine in the air

    O'er Washington to guide some wise men there

        Bringing gifts of commonsense

            And harmony to dispense

                To a nation that is in disrepair

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved

Copyright © Robert L. Hinshaw | Year Posted 2011

Details | Quatrain |

Retired, B%$#@ing Movie Star

Where's the point?
Why go on?
I've got no support,
to face the dawn.
The brought me lust,
the got me friends.
In them I did trust,
numbers to all the men.
They got me on the cover,
of every magazine.
Cindy Crawford, move over,
they were quite a team.
Those were the good times,
they were at their best.
Now at the age of 79,
their just two old sagging breasts!

Copyright © Ricci Hardt | Year Posted 2010

Details | I do not know? |

SpongeBob SquarePants: Patrick Star Sonnet

Patrick Star is quite an odd ole starfish. 

Considering he’s a star, pointy, and bright pink. 

The Krabby Patty is one of his favorite dish. 

Bikini Bottom know that Patrick stink. 

Only a job at the Chum Bucket and Krusty Krab. 

Patrick loves to be with his friend SpongeBob.

He always go to Sandy’s to destroy her lab. 

Patrick eat and chews on nasty pink gum blob.

Run to Squidward who despises yellow. 

Patrick loves to fish at Jellyfish Fields. 

Plankton find Patrick to be extremely slow. 

Secretes from SpongeBob was very concealed. 

Patrick Star does live under a brown rock.

Patrick Star will always give you an shock.

Copyright © Briana Williams | Year Posted 2015

Details | Free verse |

I'm Going To Be a Rap Star

That's it I've had it
Tired of being ignored with a wink on the side
I'm tired of being told what old men should do
Going to start taking life on the flea..or is that the fly

I'm going to hit the streets of the city
And be known as that cool guy that raps
After I add a tad bit more Poligrip
So my dentures can get down with that

I'll get me a ball cap and turn it sideways
My pants already hang down past my crack
I'll even learn the latest catch phrase
Like, Hey dude..what's up wit dat?! 

Think I'll even rhinestone my walker
For that little extra bling, bling
They'll say check out that crazy rapper daddy-o
Man that cat can really swing

I'll keep the lyrics clean like I do my diaper
That's why I bring my nursie with me
After all she's a wonderful wiper
Don't worry I pay the extra wiping fee

I'll also get her to hold up the cue cards
Since my memory over the years has waned 
No longer to be known as that old white cracker
Beating JZ at his own game

I'll get jiggy with it every chance I get
As I fizizzile my way to the top
I'll be bigger than that guy with the candy name
That young whipper snapper will melt in the hands of this rapping GrandPop

Copyright © Mike Hauser | Year Posted 2016

Details | Limerick |

Star Wars Limericks

I write Star Wars limericks with aplomb.
'Cuz Star Wars is simply the bomb!
But they don't appear
On this nice website here,
They're at Starwarslimericks dot blogspot dot com!

No special effects there, I'm sorry.
A few pictures but nothing too gory.
I start at the beginning
And I keep on spinning
Retelling the whole Star Wars story!

Copyright © Jason Talbott | Year Posted 2011

Details | Light Poetry |

Star Trek Rules

Star Trek Rules!

It was time for: Comic Con! Comic Con! Dragon wanted to come, too!
But then so did everyone else at Troll Lake… Hey, now, wouldn’t you?
We made some really cool costumes… for the costume show, my Dear.
You can guess, ‘Star Trek Rules!’ It couldn’t be anything less, you hear. 

Our favorite nighttime popcorn show, would truly now, become a part of our lives! 
The penguins got permission from the zoo; to go… great publicity, so very wise.
McRacoon had his Las Vegas Dragons get us, and a mock saucer, there, all on time.
Naturally pre-registered and in costume, we strutted in! Hi there! Began the playtime!

Man we were really cool, as the guest actors ask for OUR autographs. For Real!
Pictures were snapped, and a poster made, to be signed by everyone, so cheerful.
It’s highest bid, given to charity, would be a nice touch, for everyone in our crew.
The costume show was set outside, where all the dragons, could fly in, or out, too.

And a small mock, star ship was landed on stage, so we could enter with more flare.
Lord a mercy! Look at us! We’d never be like this, again! We were like stars, I swear!
Grandpa Troll, became Mr. Spock, naturally, because he was so, very clever and wise.
Our neighbor witch, was Uhura, due to her great ability to, protect everyone’s’ lives. 

Borp the Frog became Sulu, so he could take us up to Borp speed, with laser effects!
Hubby was Scotty, with the Tinker Trolls in engineering, for special effects, so perfect!
The penguins were the beloved crewmembers, running with lasers, all over the place.
The powder puff tribbles, got wet, so yes, became the ‘Trouble with Dribbles’, in space.

The Mary River Turtles wanted to be Checkov. What a groovy, exciting, security team.
Dragon wanted to be Captain Kirk, you know, like totally, in command… At the scene!
All agreed, I’d be a great Dr. McCoy, since I always get to, kiss the Boo- Boo’s away.
The Weird Frogs were the Aliens, chasing everyone mindlessly, around, the set, that day.

And the Las Vegas Dragons, became attacking star ships, over which our lasers won!
The crowds went wild, and we won first place in their hearts, as well as, in their minds!
Everyone had, such a good time, so the Trek continued, well after, when we got home.
That year Comic Con made the National news, and of course, nobody, was surprised!

As the residents of Troll Lake and Acorn Falls… continue to Trek on… every day!

By Mike and Carol Eastman… 

Copyright © Carol Eastman | Year Posted 2013

Details | Light Poetry |

Dragon And The Country Western Star

It was snowing, and in the middle of a great big storm… as… 
Another storm raged on, inside our dear, sweet little Dragon,
His penguins so care free, were now chasing after, you see…
The great Dragon Country Western Singer and Star, ‘Drago’!

Yep, they wanted autographs from that OTHER musical Guy!
Dressed up in country attire, as they two-stepped, down the hall.
So Dragon put on his cowboy boots and hat, and other fine stuff…
And caterwauled, in competition! Low and behold, surprising us all!

We fell, begged, & prayed for Dragon, to stop, what he was a doing.
He thought he was, grander than grand, for us to be bowing and cooing.
In truth, we were merely, passing out, from traumatic exhaustion!
As he stopped we tackled him, to the ground, which was the only option.

He was so happy; to have such devoted fans, swarm over him, instead!
He was rushed into a sound proof room, to record for YouTube, we said.
In mercy to all, we turned off the sound, so he unknowingly, lip-synced.
Yep, to Drago’s song! Low and behold! He got 50 million hits, I am told.

With so much acclaim, for the video! Royalties roared in, so we decided.
To rent a big bus, to take us, next summer, to see our new friend Drago!
So beware, there’s still time, to get out of town! This truly is, a warning.
I impart, and if he tries to sing again, have a soundproof room a waiting!

And between you two, in a music video, you and Drago will be set for life!
Don’t forget, the penguins, want to dance, in the video with their idols.
Isn’t it amazing, how stories can unfold, to quiet, the WORST of storms?
But Beware, two Dragons, bring bigger storms, than one alone can form! 

Written 2-28-2015

Copyright © Carol Eastman | Year Posted 2015

Details | Bio |

Solitude: To Yoda, An Ode

Green bark a prism creates,
Feel the pull of earth, you must.

Rotates, a slime of endless hates,
Can hold me not, this world’s crust.

Friendship’s ties, isolation Deflates,
Succumbs, my spaceship, to bitter rust.

Mist, my soul forever permeates,
Lift-off, booms the rocket’s thrust.

My spirit when light returns, elates,
Swamps swell, swallowed hope’s swirling dust.

Trapped, I am, until student from fate
Arrives to learn; Cloud City or bust.

Copyright © Dan Keir | Year Posted 2013

Details | Limerick |

Strumpet Meets Star Wars

For trick or treating Stella the strumpet

Got dressed up as a butterscotch crumpet

     Caught his eye – Jabba the Hutt

     He had hunger pangs in his gut

No more strumpet; Hutt plays "Taps" on trumpet

*For John Freeman's Halloween Limericks Contest. ©

If you haven't seen Star Wars, you can see an image of Jabba the Hutt at:

Copyright © Carolyn Devonshire | Year Posted 2010

Details | Limerick |

Hedgehog - adult


Copyright © Warner Baxter | Year Posted 2014

Details | I do not know? |

The Porn Star Prayer

We do give thee thanks for the abundance
That is ours in glorious nudity
Even though some of it is saline
And some with silicon
Bless each and every one
Tell your mind what your body 
already knows
Understand this,
They wanna be you, they wanna be just like you
Because right now, you are the sexiest
Woman on God’s green Earth 


NOTE: This piece is NOT about pornography, it is a satire, a humorous jab at 
the Industry
Please enjoy with this in mind or skip over it completely Thank you

Copyright © Warner Baxter | Year Posted 2014

Details | Clerihew |

A Rising Star

Mr Elisha Oitis
Would be of little notice
Were he not the clever creator
Of the handy elevator.

For John Freeman's Giggle contest.

Copyright © Joyce Johnson | Year Posted 2010

Details | Light Poetry |

Porn star

If I could lick my genitals Just like my neighbours pet I’d film it with my camera And I’d put it on the net I’d soon be rich and famous Like a real life porno star I’d buy a great big mansion And a big expensive car A swimming pool, Jacuzzi Naked women by the score A wall hung with old masters Persian rugs upon the floor But that’s really just a dream And I’d be happy I suppose If I could lose my belly And could see my bloody toes

Copyright © John W Fenn | Year Posted 2011

Details | Light Poetry |

More Somewhat Twisted Thoughts of the Day

I made a wish upon a star and really got burned
I made a wish upon a star and left Madonna breathless
I hitched my wagon to a star but forgot my spacesuit
The stars in my eyes turned out to be black holes

I couldn’t rise to the occasion so I took some Viagra
Did Harvey Wall Banger? Nope, Willy-Nilly slapped him silly
I once had sex on a golf course but wasn’t up to par and got penalized three strokes
A sex therapist counseled a maggot couple to make love in Earnest

I decided to take a brisk walk but there was this plank…
I WALKED that plank but they drained the pool so I cracked up
I walked the line and it was a very thin line (A very fine line though)
I walked the straight and narrow and had to stop for directions

I made a molehill out of a mountain and the EPA was NOT amused
I made another molehill out of a mountain and the CLIMBERS were not amused
I made ANOTHER mole hill out of a mountain but some mole dug up some dirt on me
I was shamed when the scandal was published in The Holey-Moley Enquirer
So I dug up some dirt on THEM and completely ruined my manicure…

If life is a rat race, God needs to set out some traps
Life was a bowl of cherries til I cracked my tooth on a pit
Speaking of pits, I escaped The Pit and the Pendulum but (Oh, rats)
Speaking of rodents, three-blind-mice ran into a herd of stampeding lemmings and quickly took the plunge…

Copyright © Tim Ryerson | Year Posted 2013

Details | Clerihew |

The pop-star plumber

Have you seen the part time plumber?
He plumbs in winter and a pop-star in summer
During a plumbing job, he will thrust out his spanner
Singing into it “Copacabana”

Copyright © Alexander Seal | Year Posted 2015

Details | Free verse |

Jabba Dabba Doooo -- Star Wars--

Jabba the Hutt has a spur up his butt that makes him as mean as a wasp If you stop for a look, at that glutton of glop, his looks will not help him a lot! His rotten demeaner, gave Vadar the radar, to hide out in deep outer-space Hutt's face and his figure could fracture a mirror ...and the glass of a whole universe! There are millions of creatures, with much better features, that Jabba can never embrace! Jabba is gruesome, a big gooey nuisance! He looks like a big wad of gum! He grossed out Chewbacca....... who likes his tobacco,.....(this may be a slip of a tongue)...., But... a wad of his chew, missed the spittoon, and hit Jabba, in his hut, with a zoom !
To view this unsightly, gruesome character: _ _____________________________________________ For P.D.'s Star Wars Contest: By Carrie Richards 8/27/13 Star Wars Rules !

Copyright © Carrie Richards | Year Posted 2013

Details | Limerick |

The Shooting Star

Spishu,spishu the shooting star
Noisily flies across night bar
Lights life for split second
Then wonder if beckon
Which one is being called afar

Copyright © Sara Kendrick | Year Posted 2010

Details | I do not know? |

The stage plan

Roaming in the ropes

Lubing like the tokes

Aging like the folks

We will to get hard before blasting into the remote

New ground that you tweet about

About a stout boy, 
level headed,
awaits his crown

Disastrously loud

Prays of nights that go by days when there are no clouds
-or an enlightened language moving along by a count

Copyright © Jimmi Canada | Year Posted 2015

Details | Free verse |

Star Trek 3 and a half, The Wrath of Klingon Commander Kruge


Star Trek 2: Kirk has a grand battle with a villain from the original series.  Spock
dies saving the ship and his body is deposited on the Genesis Planet where an
experimental technology creates life from nothing

Star Trek 3: Kirk returns to the Genesis Planet to retrieve Spock's resurrected
body.  Commander Kruge, intercepts Enterprise wanting the power of the
Genesis Project for military purposes.  Kirk's son, a Genesis scientist, is Killed
on the Genesis Planet by Kruge.  After the destruction of Enterprise, Kirk kills
Kruge on the planet's surface and then takes over the Klingon ship

Star Trek 4: The returning mutineers are forced to go back
in time to find Humpback Whales to bring forward to the present time to save
Earth from a curious whale-loving alien race

Star Trek 5: The Enterprise is coerced to go on a mission to find "God", who
turns out to be just a minor deity pretending to be  'all that'

Star Trek Generations--Kirk dies in a desert region of some obscure planet


Kirk never took into consideration that commander Kruge and Kirk's son, David,
were also killed on the life regenerating Genesis Planet.  That's when Commander
Kruge, resurrected, young, fit and as handsome as any strapping Klingon youth
could hope to be, came storming back for revenge

AND NOW.........


Klingon Bird of Prey
Cloaked and humming at warp speed
Like Tom Cruise with a swollen head
Feeling the Genesis invulnerability
The Enterprise unsuspecting
Decloaking, salvos away
Can you imagine how priceless the look
Kirk seeing Christopher Lloyd's exploded face?

Haha, Kirk.  You criminal!!
I'll bet your eyes can't believe
You came back for you pointy-eared friend
Never once did you think about me
I killed your son once, Kirk
After Genesis, I killed him twice
Have you heard the Klingon expression
Killing three times isn't nice?

You thought that Khan was meddlesome
He's a pansy in my book
Because the best way to hurt you
That numbnuts overlooked
I'm going to let you live, Kirk
What Freudian karma you'll create!!!
And at the end of the day you'll know
There is only YOU to blame!!!

Have a whale of a time, good buddy!
Now I bid you adieu
Soon you are going to find out
That God is a bigger jerk than YOU!!!
You'll always be a victim Kirk
Creating your own grandiose plans
And you'll die like a red-shirt ensign
On some barren wasteland


Copyright © The Fringe | Year Posted 2011

Details | Limerick |

Star Whores

Obi Wan Kenobi
Said “dooby do be dobie”
He wasn’t one but nearly two
And didn’t know just what to do
In his brownie, Kenobi robe(y)

Copyright © Mike Youds | Year Posted 2007

Details | Sonnet |

Topping The Star Charts

Voyager 1’s “The Sounds Of Earth”

Eleven billion miles from the sun
a record, golden when it left these parts,
a runaway hit on Voyager One,
at Ophiuchus, sure to top the charts,
will introduce Mozart to other stars,
not to mention Berry’s “Johnny B. Goode”.
The knock-offs sold in alien bazaars
will knock their socks off or at least it should
make them extend their eyestalks in surprise.
They’ll soon begin to learn to sing along
to whales recorded and the baby’s cries —
adepts might even master Earth’s birdsong.
Should Beethoven not prove to be their fave,
Then Guan PingHu’s GuQin could be their rave.

Copyright © James Ph. Kotsybar | Year Posted 2012

Details | Pantoum |



I love to watch the stars at night
I love when they come out to play
I love to see the moonbeam bright
And love when darkness turns to day.

I love when they come out to play
Like little people in the sky
And love when darkness turns to day
I see the twinkle in their eye.

Like little people in the sky
Playing with friends, dancing around
I see the twinkle in their eye
And on their face never a frown.

Playing with friends, dancing around
Forever happy this is true
And on their face, never a frown
It's only smiles for me and you.

Forever happy, this is true
I love to see the moonbeam bright
It''s only smiles for me and you
I love to watch the stars at night.

Copyright © JACQUELYN STURGE | Year Posted 2007

Details | Rhyme |

Twinkle twinkle Little Star

Twinkle, twinkle little star
I don’t know what got you where you are.
Up above, but I can’t see you
Through the snow and clouds there too.

Twinkle, twinkle little star
How I would like to be where you are.
Looking down upon the ground
Watching us all race around.

Twinkle, twinkle little star
Why can’t I be where you are?
Then again I would be dead
That’s a thing that we all dread.

Looking up, we can’t see you
I suppose you cannot see me too
Twinkle, twinkle little star
I think I’ll not go where you are.

Copyright © Mandy Tams The Golden Girl | Year Posted 2011

Details | Free verse |

Star Cowboy

Beyond the moon and past the last star is the realm of cowboys who dream. Who ride their horses across plains, their mounts noses snorting steam. As comets streak across the chalkboard, horses whinny and bawl through the night. Every glare and solar flare filling the steeds with a celestial spook and a heavenly fright. The moon is a constant glow as it rides along through the moonbeams and clouds. Night winds blow the cosmic dust around, making the gauzy glitter into planetary shrouds. I want to be a cowboy and hear the angels sing as the campfire glows, dimly, singing me to sleep. the stars are my doggies; lowing as, at last, the shadows fail and sunlight begins to creep.

Copyright © Sherry Asbury | Year Posted 2011

Details | Rhyme |

My Star

My star is gone tonight,
No twinkle for gone is the light.

Dark clouds float slowly closer-
Mother has hidden!
And closer still-
Brightness forbidden!

This is absurd,
I might just quake,
And shake,
My fist to give ‘em a word.

The veil which conceals,
My watching eye,
It steals,
A beauty of the sky.

Copyright © Allie Ogletree | Year Posted 2011

Details | ABC |

Armano, the Auracano, Rock Star

Armano, the Auracano, Rock Star

Armano became captivatingly delightful everyday.
Frequently giving hens irresistibly jubilant kisses…laughter.
Musical notoriety’s opulent potential quickly realized stardom.
The ultimate virtuoso, without xerostomia, yodeled zealously.
His morning crow, however, was what won their hearts and affection.

© Name withheld for the contest
February 13, 2010

xerostomia => excessive dryness of the mouth. -->

To see the REAL Armano the Auracano, go to my Poetry Soup blog page:

Copyright © Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen | Year Posted 2010

Details | Rhyme |

Wishing Star/Candy Bar

If you want to lose some weight
Here's some advice you may want to take

If you wish upon a star
While you eat a candy bar
Very soon you will see
You can't wish away those calories

A healthy diet and exercise plan
Can help you more than  wishing can
So, while you wish upon that star
Throw away the candy bar

Copyright © Vernette Hutcherson | Year Posted 2006

Details | Burlesque |

I Wanna Be a Wrap Star

I got a gig at Macy's,
In the gift wrap department,
I wann'ed to be the star...
of this lowly store compartment,...
But outside this meager job,
I dreamed those dreams so big,
So in my apartment,
I'd hone my wrapping skills,
Prayin' wrap stardom would cure my ills...

Yo, bro, you'all hear me now?
I "axe'd" you to believe in me,
Now I'll show you just how,
I'll become "King a da Hood"
Even though some tell me how,
my wrap skills ain't all dat good

So here goes my openin' wrap
Doe'en tell me dat iz crap,
Yo, bro, wuz happ-n-ing
here an' now?
Cops chasin' everyone around
Can ya tell me Y? or even, maybe how?

Da' bee-ott-chutch dun left home,
Da' "bee-itch" said she wanna rome,
"Crack'in in some bore'd up buildin'
Stem pipe glowin' high flyin' red,
Soon enough, she be dead...

Don' bother me all that much,
Cause I got anodda' ho,
I'z kept 4 bee-in in such a clutch.

Copyright © tom bell | Year Posted 2007