ABC Humorous Poems | ABC Poems About Humorous

These ABC Humorous poems are examples of ABC poems about Humorous. These are the best examples of ABC Humorous poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Things People Wear From A to Z

A is for Aprons, like Moms used to wear.
B is for Barrettes that adorn young girls’ hair.

C is for Coats, many colors and styles.
D is for Diamonds, best friends that brings smiles.

E is for Elbow pads skateboarders use.
F is for Flippers folks might wear on a cruise.

G is for Gowns, to wear out . . . or to bed!
H is for Helmets - Hard Hats for one’s Head.

I is for Indian saris so bright.
J is for Jewelry that dazzles at night.

K is for Kilts used by Scotts, do you know?
L is for Lingerie, a woman’ peep show!

M is for Masks to look scary or funny.
N is for Necklaces from your sweet honey.

O is for Overalls, comfy for big men.
P is for Pajamas, so easy to fit in.

Q is for a Quilted skirts and jackets too.
R is for Rags - what our worn clothes turn into!

S is for Shorts, for a day warm and glad.
T is for Ties that we all give to Dad.

U is for Underwear. I can see France!
V is for Vest. It enhances your pants.

W is for Wig, great when hair has been shorn.
X is for Xmas clothes too rarely worn.

Y is for Yamaka - only for Jews.
Z is for Zippered, the clothes over buttoned ones that I would choose!

Oh, the things we’ve been wearing since Adam and Eve
first started it off by just wearing their leaves!

For the ABC Contest of CYNDI MACMILLAN

Written by Andrea Dietrich, a big fan of poetry and PoetrySoup.

Copyright © Andrea Dietrich | Year Posted 2013

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The Whooper

The whooper
I went fishing the other day.Caught a fish that I was surprised.
The fish was a least six inches long. 
I took my fish and went to the market to look for beer.
Their I told, the butcher I caught a fish.
That was 12 inches long.
On the way to my house I saw a cop friend of mine.
I told him that i had a fish that was 18 inches long.
I stopped for a few beers at the bar I saw joey the postman.
I told joey that i had a whopper of a fish that was 
Two feet long

Copyright © Harold Hunt sr | Year Posted 2014

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Driving Emotions

Messy is spilling her drinks in my car
Curious keeps asking me questions
Bossy is telling me ways to go 
Because unorganized just lost our directions.

Impatient is complaining she’s tired of waiting 
At the red light she’s telling me to go
Vain just took my rear view mirror
To brush her hair real slow.

Excited is jumping up and down in his seat
While discouraged keeps telling him to keep calm 
Talkative is telling me a bunch of nothings
While annoying keeps tapping my arm.

I’m on this road, with a bunch of emotions
And I’m lost between my routes
I stop the car in the middle of no where 

“I can’t keep driving in this car full of emotions
And I don’t even know where we are”.
They all start to snicker, I turn around
Sneaky just stole the car.

Copyright © Corenne Seale | Year Posted 2015

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Why does it have to be , ABCD and not WXYZ

Zooming at the very end
Yelling around I find my way
Xtremely touchy and tearful
Why does it always have to be
                      ABCD and not WXYZ!

Copyright © sima mittal | Year Posted 2013

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Black Jack

Black Jack dealers
Counting money
Dealing the cards
Taking all my money!!!!

Copyright © Gypsyof Essence | Year Posted 2013

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amuck - adverb.flailing in all directions, about, around - His ideas ran amuck.

brang – verb, past tense.bring – You ring, you rang, I bring, I brang.

chipps - noun, asset for selling, a favor owing, and old friend. He relinquished all his chipps to his  successor.

defute – verb. to dispute in any defamatory way,  deface in any futile way or defile in any further way. He did not defute the question. – to defeat at any future game. We’ll defute them next time.

demar – noun.any act of transgression described as demeaning or demoralizing, inflicted on or flung upon by McMar or any of his ancestors, their kin or descendants (legitimate or not). Your demar is all that’s left.

DeMar McMar Eo Munny - first illegitimate son of Olive Eo and Hezekiah Munny. First cousin to McMar, once removed, from his mother's side ... by Apache braves ... less known as DeMar Geronimo.

eo – possessive pronoun. denoting the person or persons being directly addressed by the speaker.  Make eo mind up.

Eo – maiden surname of the only cousin to McMar (by marriage) on his mother’s side, wed to Hezekiah Munny.  No sibling ever lived long. Olive Eo Munny

eoh – a response of exclamation (usually in reply to sudden beckoning)  by McMar or any of his direct descendants. Eoh!

eo-eo – noun.a spinning toy that dangles from a string. You lost your marbles and your eo-eo. 

erago - noun, unit of measure. Measures the time elapsed between the previous era and the current era. The slave owners bought their slaves an erago.

haps – adverb.used to express uncertainty or possibility. I thought that haps you’d like my new car.

harken - listen but more intently, more intensely. Harken at the calling breeze, a rustling shady tree.

juke - noun.sounds that emit from a jukebox.Let me hear the juke. - or a joint that serves it up.Mamma looking fine, diner at the Juke.

plex - try to figure something out, to wonder about something - The answer did both plex his mind and defute his integrity.

slaven – verb, past become a slave – They were slaven by the times. noun.a person (or a people) upon whom any act of slavery or enslaving has been inflicted - The slaven did toil. – or the state of being a slave - The lash unto the slaven was to pierce their slaven backs. 

Stephen Duncan – In Issequena County, Mississippi in 1860, Stephen Duncan owned more negro slaves than any other man.

Copyright © Mike Martin | Year Posted 2015

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The ABCs of Poetry

A is for Acrostic, where the first letter of each line spells a word
B is for Burlesque, a poetic type bordering on absurd

C is for Clerihew, a short and humorous verse
D is for Didactic, meant to improve morals at first

E is for Epithalamium, written for a groom and his bride
F is for Free Verse, where the rules go and hide

G is for Ghazal, with a shared rhyme and refrain
H is for Haiku, getting it just right is a pain

I is for Iambic Pentameter, which is the poetic beat
J is for Jargon, where real and fake words do meet

K is for Kwansaba, another non-rhyming form 
L is for Limerick, where many a giggle has been born

M is for Monorhyme, the same rhyme on each line
N is for Narrative, which tells a story every time

O is for Ode, a lengthy, lyrical poem
P is for Pastoral, describing the rural life I call home

Q is for Quatrain, rhyming verses with lines that count four
R is for Romanticism, think of the Romeo and Juliet score

S is for Sonnet, fourteen lines with a conventional scheme
T is for Tanka, first appearing on the Japanese scene

U is for Unique, which every written poem wants to be
V is for Villanelle, repeating lines one and three

W is for Worthwhile, which I think most poems are
X is for X-cellent, those poems written by stars

Y is for Youngsters, who should start writing their own
Z is for Zebra, my own black and white poem

So pick up your pen and try your hand at these styles
Included in poems makes the written word smile

Copyright © Joe Flach | Year Posted 2013

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The Romance of Arrogance and Elegance

A is for Arrogance, a proud unbending prince,
B is for Burden, his stony heart of flint.

C is for the Court, Arrogance's royal home,
D is for Dunce, a learned little gnome.

E is for Elegance, a beautiful princess,
F is for the Fabric, that built her lovely dress.

G is for the Gems, that glittered in her crown,
H is for her Hair, that shining shimmers down.

I is for Intelligence, Dunce's greatest gift,
J is for his Joking, for Dunce's wit was swift.

K is for the Keel, of Elegance's fated ship,
L is for the Lighthouse, upon the fated trip.

M is for Miscalculation, by which the ship did sink,
N is for Nonsensical, for the captain didn't think.

O is for the Oddity, by which Elegance was saved,
P is for the Panic, that dragged the sailors to their grave.

Q is for the Quality, with which the princess swam,
R is for the Rock, she grabbéd with her arm.

S is for the Soldier, who spied her lying on the shore,
T is for the Time it took, to carry her to palace door.

U is for the Union, Dunce had secretly long planned,
V is for the Violence, with which Arrogance kissed her hand.

W is for the Wedding, which Arrogance then desired,
X is for the Xeniums he gave, to keep his love from being tired.

Y is for the Yes, compassionate Elegance gave the feller,
Z is for Arrogance's saving grace; his wife, the royal young Zitella...

His heart is kinder now, people have been heard to say,
And he rarely ever frowns, even to this day...

Copyright © Joseph Hartley | Year Posted 2013

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Zabaglione is an Italian dessert
You will savour every spoonful
Xanthic in colour a delightful creamy yellow
Whisk egg yolks and sugar in a bowl over barely simmering water until
Velvety in texture 
Use an electric whisk it – it could take up to 15 minutes
Take three tablespoons of Prosecco wine and pour this into the mixture
Save the rest to drink later!!!!
Resume whisking until it’s soft and fluffy
Quickly remove the bowl from over the hot water and
Place it in a bowl of cold water or on a cold surface
Oh no – time for more whisking until its cool
Now you need to whisk the whipping cream
My goodness this is hard work - but it is worth the effort
Lightly fold the cream into the egg mixture, hopefully the
Kitchen doesn’t look like a bombsite – phew!
Just a couple more steps to do and then 
Italian Zabaglione will be tickling your taste buds
Have two tall glasses ready
Gently pour the dessert into them
Fill them right to the top of the glass
Every spoonful will be delicious
Decorate your dessert
Chocolate shavings can be added as a garnish 
Bon Appetite!
All you need to do now is wash the dishes

Contest: First Ever ZXY 
Sponsor: John Lawless

Copyright © JAN ALLISON | Year Posted 2015

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Elation and Vacillation a comedy

Elation & Vacillation a comedy
A poem
Lionel Derbyshire

Every day I want to but I could not
Today I must because I have to
Yesterday I let it go away so today 
I will not run dry, I will , I must
I have done my mirror practice
And I looked so good so here goes
Cannot wait another minute
Before I bleat myself with over worry
Must not become tense this is really it
Will not plummet , will not go down
Rise I am the centre of my universe
No need to annex my courage
The time has really come 
Come on now, chin is up on high
My teeth is white, my smile is wide
My shoes are polished , my shirt is ironed
I m a getting there after I leave here
I will swing my arms when I get there
I will stand on my own two feet  
I will sway and dance with joy
Confidently I have such  high hopes 
Singing now, no doubt about it 
I ‘ll be over the moon when Sally says “YES”
So here goes …. Shelly will you marry me  ??

Whack ! wrong girl …

Copyright © Lionel Derbyshire | Year Posted 2016

Details | ABC |

Another Beginning Comes

Another new day
Begins again
Cool breezes blowin’ by
Decided I’d had
Enough of inside
Figured I’d do for a bit of a walk
Going nowhere in particular
Happy enough just to be
In a good mood for a change.

Just as I thought I was on the right path
KLUNK! I hit a tree
Lost control, and over I rolled
My pride hurt, and skinned my knee.
Never saw a sight so silly
Or laughed at the world so hard
Purely by accident, I had found 
Quick though I walked I’d 
Ripped my pants clear up through the 

Tomorrow they say it’s supposed to rain
Up until 9:00,
Visiting the doctor is where I’ll be
What for, you may ask?  
X-rays of course, just so 
You know.  Then I’ll be getting some 

Copyright © Michael Campbell | Year Posted 2015

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After eight

Dear mother
Worn out
Doth smother 
Her daughters
With boredom
And nothing to do

Dear father 
No doubt
Won’t bother
To listen
To daughters
For he’s tired too

Copyright © Samantha Farley | Year Posted 2015

Details | ABC |

Just a barmaid

"come on, get your coat off, its bloody ten too"
not even eleven and there forming a que
"just a barmaid" thats what they say
service with a smile, expected all day
we are more than just pint pourers , were councillors too
we listen to it all, oh what we go through
"here you go thats £3;40" 
"how bloody much?" sir its not 1940

we get the blame for the price of a pint
we have to clean the toilets, oh the shear delight
we love listening to you drunk moan of how you have it bad
while we are trying to multi task, serving your dad
when you whislte, shout, bang or wave your money
believe me babe you aint getting served in a hurry

when we dont know there names but we no them by drink
"come on you know him, half a mild, he stinks"
dont get me wrong its not all doom and gloom
we do have a laugh with a crowded room

serving two at once thinking your pro
then looking up and seeing no hope
4 deep at the bar making no eye contact
keepin your head down thats a fact

when all your buttons are pressed and your sweaty too boot
when all all want to do is put the drunks on mute
when you see that one walk in whose fussy as f&@£
all the staff fled, just my luck
fake smile cracks across my face
"usual Doris "full of grace
large glass, small wine, two cubes and soda
if i had a gun i think i would probably load her
we listen to stories of, cats funerals, shopping lists and worse
but if you dont listen you will get the barmaids curse

your name will be rotten about the town
of how you arent pleasant and wear a frown
they think were arsed but really we are
were just a helping hand from across the bar

we like a good laugh and banter is fun
sometimes rude, excuse the pun
we have our yocal locals who we love and think are ok
but its still nice to say "Tarra" after theyve been in all day

weve got 
pat with a bitter, a cider shandy if pissed
ste on coors light showing his fist
fran on gin, vodka or red
dom on anything, its time for bed
jenny on bacardi and diet coke
kyrin on spiced rum and abit of a toke
the other corinne on rosay until she can walk no more
dave hardwood on whiskey until he falls to the floor
margie on brandy and a drop of lemo
amie on different things the alcohol pro
lyndsey drinking fruit-bowels like its going out of fashion
jordan on shots like its his passion

then there is the two lovely barb and kipper
we do like him because hes a good tipper
so from us "just barmaids" please know our worth
we our here for You, we are the salt of the earth

Copyright © Dominique Ryan | Year Posted 2016

Details | ABC |


I'm just a little bit loofy
Just a tad goofy
I do many things
That will take you for a ride
But don't hide
Your about to see my true side
I talk to me
I walk with me
I say high and hello
Then my stomach is quivery like jello
I talk to people
I know how to bounce
I do what I need to
I don't give an ounce
I live a goofy life
I just love it so
I am real life like
I'm feeling like plado
Normally, I would write more normal
What's normal if you have to be so formal
Gotta be strict and serious all the time
I almost feel like being perfect is a crime
I have to be friendly with everybody
I'd rather do that if I was making money!
Everybody has a goofy side
What I just said is no lie
So your things and who cares
It doesn't matter what other's think
Heck, I joke around saying “I need a shrink”
I really don't, not that I know
It just shows that I keep on the low
People know me and I know them
I show my goofy side now and again
Up and down, bouncing around
I guess I am the number one clown

Copyright © Robert Barrett | Year Posted 2013

Details | ABC |

Nigga PleaZ

Hell Nah, huhn uhn, **** you, and nigga pleaz! 
And, no you can't borrow back yo child support  
and, no you can't the kids up late,
and bring'em back early.
I thought we settled that *****in court.
And, hell nah, huhn uhn, **** you, and nigga pleaz!
No, I can't be yo friend on facebook!
I don't like you in real life.
So, how's it gonna work online?
So don't submit a request,
because you'd be wasting your time.
Hell nah, huhn uhn, **** you, and nigga pleaz!
I don't give a damn, 
whatchu told yo family about me. 
Because as far as I'm concerned,
they're probably just like you.
So, it matters a damn, if they doubt me.
So, starting right now,let's get this straight.
I'm strapped as it is,
and you wanna add more to my plate?
So, let put it down for you,
because right about now,
I think you need it. Float you a loan?
Pay the bill on yo phone?
Blow off all the disrespect, that you've shown?
Listen to the message that you left,
where all you did, was cuss, *****, and moan?
You wouldn't be worth my time,
if you was do o yo knees, 
but you can't even do that *****right,
even I wanted to be frustrated, and teasd.
So, I'll make it real quick, because,
I'm starting to wheez..
**** YOU! 

Copyright © Danita Michelle Allen | Year Posted 2013

Details | ABC |

Wishing Witch

            Wishing Witch 

My Halloween screenplay is funny as can be
It’s funny how witchcraft is what we need to see

Brewing up trouble with all your classmates
The teacher will get angry, make no mistake

Crazy riddles from a child can be so scary
Being her classmate leaves you feeling wary
You may start a princess and end as a boar
As her riddles will leave you in an uproar

Will you return to normal after all this nonsense
Is the question that has everyone in suspense

You may not have believed in the paranormal
But you will start to see the proof is abysmal 

Trick-or-treating can be more than a trick
As Jenny needs to get out of this fix

Laughter that gets you jumping off your seat
This screenplay is hilarious, that  you’ll see

So if you’re looking for some trouble
To get you out of your bubble
Go to the site, quick and on the double		

By: Doris Anne Beaulieu
At :   

Copyright © Doris Beaulieu | Year Posted 2014

Details | ABC |


We had been bribing good,
as long as we could
Fooling everyone, 
under the sun

Rich and poor alike we treated,
didn't care who we cheated
We were robbing under the hood,
cause the money was so good

Norms we dared flout,
when we had the clout
Alas, now we are caught,
what to say we know not

For no amount of spin, 
can cover our sin
Please don't wish us dead,
just because we gave back some lead

Who we are, you may have guessed by now
for those not in the know
Dust Auto.

Copyright © Venu Annamraju | Year Posted 2016

Details | ABC |


I look in the mirror and what do I see
Cellulite and stretch marks
Body perfect, that is me

I turn to the left and then to the right
My butt is way too big
But my tummy gave me a fright

I laughed out loud and nearly choked
I looked like a naked camel
Who needed to be stroked

I see my beauty and yes my flaws
If there has to be gravity
There has to be certain laws

Laugh at yourself
Hug yourself tight
Love every inch of you
Laugh aloud-despite...

Copyright © venessa lisa asvat | Year Posted 2013

Details | ABC |


         THE PARTY

There's a party going on in my subconscious
There's a siesta in my head

if it wasn't for all this excitement
 i might as well be brain dead

There are fireworks in my motor area
New year in my cortex

in my cerebellum it's Christmas
who says all on my brain is sex

Da Predman powriginalpoems2makeu:)
Da Urban poetry collection 2002

Copyright © Paul Powell | Year Posted 2013

Details | ABC |



shattered! i am closed down. my life is slowly breaking as more pains come in. i am hurt and i am sad. i am in denial.

disappointed! i am hurting and i am crying. i cry but my tears do not matter to anybody.

life! is this all there is to it? sufferings, pains and agonies? i am done for it. fed up! i have lost the fire to see tomorrow. that fire which ignites hope. oh! did i just mention hope?

hope! just what i need. wait! i have hope. i just dont have it with me or in me. hope is that which revives and it is just what am missing... a revival. i so much want to hope. ok, now i am hoping to have hope. does that mean that i already have hope? is it that am not just believing? well, then help me believe. i so much want to believe. i feel so alone and let don.

deserted! unwanted and hated! those words are ever in my mind. they echo in my dreams and in my sleep. they haunt me. the air i breathe is that of resentment and rejection. all i know about myself is that i am filthy.

yes! filthy. but not literally. stupid is the word she used. how could i not have seen it coming? am i really dumb as the other one put it?

stuck! i dont have the answer to that. ignorant he is, am sure you are telling yourself. i am slowly letting go. the people that matter to me most, the closest and the trusted have made me become this shallow person. my self esteem is dead and none of them care for it. i am a burden to most of them and you know yourselves. some have told me off. some have shown it and some of you are just about to.

why? i ask myself. what have i really done? yes! i know. i falter alot but do you have to hate me with all that is in you? i cry when i sit to think of my life, my friends, my family, my loved ones and what they all do to me. is there anything i can do to atleast feel a bit of your love? even just for a day?

i wonder! why am i still living? why am i still alive in this world where no one even wants to hear my name? letting go. but wait! maybe there is hope. all i can do is hope. and i wish!

i wish mum was still around. she's the only person that ever genuinely loved me. i hurt her, i insulted her, i disrespected her but yet she loved me even more. she taught me how to love and i loved. what did i get in return? hatred, resentment and all that i get from most of you.. why?

God! look upon me. show me your love and mercy. make me believe and give me the fire to hope.

i have one mind.

Copyright © fred kanshamba | Year Posted 2013

Details | ABC |

A Special Sale

Buy one and get one free
A special sale,but you can't buy me.
You had my heart and so much more
But you preferred the girl next door.

A very good price
But you know what they say
You get what you pay for
It shows everyday.

You can't send her back
you got her for free
The one that you paid for
Yes it was me!
I cost you time lost when you were with me.Your love and your laughter
was spent on me....

You get what you pay for.So now you're alone
Be careful for sales when theres no return.....

Copyright © Agnes Bugeja | Year Posted 2014

Details | ABC |


Calorie counting ceases
Decadent and so delicious
Every single crumb is savoured
Forget sharing, it’s all mine!

Going to start my diet … tomorrow!

Let’s do some Alphabet
Sponsored by Sara Kendrick


Copyright © JAN ALLISON | Year Posted 2017

Details | ABC |

Weekend thrill

Weekend thrill.
Friday night no home football game. Video games are a bore. Wrestling the same 
old stuff. So what good is the weekend. 
Sunday is here what a thrill needed to clean.The rotten grill.
Monday can't get here fast enough. 
Then only four days to be completed. Then it's back to the weekend!

Copyright © Harold Hunt sr | Year Posted 2014

Details | ABC |

Gay Bug

We have Known each other for many years and decided to get married.
We did not invite her family, because most of them are scary.
Oh No,  the word got out ,and to our surprise,
It was a group of her family, dressed up in a descise.
They were all holding signs, and trying to protest.
Stop this wedding they screamed. They really tried their best.
We made it to the car, We drove fast away
On our windshield was paint, spelling I hate you gays.
We held each others hands.  No one could stop our love.
I guess this is what happens, when you carry the Gay bug.

Copyright © Heather Langley | Year Posted 2013

Details | ABC |

ABC Poem From Joseph

ABC Poem from Joseph

A beautiful coconut drenches everything fragrantly. Growing happily in joviality, Kings laugh mightily. Notably ornamented perfect Queens restore sweet times under virulent walls. Xenias years zapped.

Copyright © Joseph Guth | Year Posted 2015

Details | ABC |


The splinters of our marrow comes, 
Shivering thunder for a lengthy spray-
Warmth beautifies our essence;
Glittering ray sends goose down spines! 
She comes,  nostalgia drums
The lily-borne sepulchre; its beauty I ponder
Goozy feelings; my road alone
This journey be tiresome 
For I be so glad to take it
Come forth hither,  the beauty of our land! 
Hollow tremble,  belly grumble
For its angels are generous in vision,  
A journey,  I delight thee.

Copyright © Babafemi Yinka Olubodun | Year Posted 2016

Details | ABC |

Upstairs Racers

All the noise from upstairs is outrageous.
They should lock up thier children in cages.
But it is`nt the children I blame.
I`ts thier parents who made this a game.
They run all day long.
They`re like Gold Medal strong.
Everyday`s like a day at the races.

Copyright © Jodi Daly | Year Posted 2013

Details | ABC |

You Guess

you guess
Thump, thump, thump., thump, thump 
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, Weeeeeeeeeeee, plump.
You guess.

Copyright © Harold Hunt sr | Year Posted 2014

Details | ABC |

Let the Fun Begin

Only at Christmas, God knows why
Pleasing everyone, you take the cue
Quick, just one more gift to buy
Really, did you think you were thru?
Sweaters, socks and fancy hair bows
Teens always looking for new clothes
Ukuleles, drums for the young ones
Violins, little cellos just for fun
Why did you ever buy such loud toys?
Xylophones, drums and all the noise
Yearning for it all to end and then
Zooming in, let the fun begin!

Copyright © Betty Janko | Year Posted 2016

Details | ABC |

drivers lessons

Drivers lessons  
My wife wanted to learn to drive.  
I found myself in fear not for my life but for my insurance rates. 
My heart beat fast and all I could see was those pearly gates. 
She climbs in and said let's go. 
First she put the key in to start and turn it on (and grind the starter which will be 
other bills). 
I told her to put in reverse that is what r stands for not race. 
We back out of the spot nice and easy. 
Then I tell her right turn so she turns left. 
We go a few feet which is a feat. Then left I tell her she turns right. 
i then tell her the other right , she almost hits a car that's parked. 
All of sudden I see these lights a cop behind us ,great what next. 
He gave us a ticket  which was no surprise.  
We haven't left the parking lot. 
She failed the lesson with a fling.I'm just glad she doesn't want to fly!

Copyright © Harold Hunt sr | Year Posted 2014